


The Silence Between

by charmin365, Yvhvhvtke



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Attempted Sexual Assault, BDSM, Bad Parent John Winchester, Bondage, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bully Raphael, Dom Lucifer (Supernatural), Dom Michael (Supernatural), F/M, Jock Dean Winchester, M/M, Mute Castiel, Nerd Castiel (Supernatural), Past Sexual Assault, Punk Castiel (Supernatural), Select Mutism, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Shameless Smut, Sounding, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2020-06-27 03:33:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 166,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19782397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmin365/pseuds/charmin365, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yvhvhvtke/pseuds/Yvhvhvtke
Summary: Due to a family tragedy, Castiel becomes the new kid in town for his senior year. Not only is he the new kid, he’s a nerd, and he’s mute. Nobody pays any attention to him, unless it’s to make fun of him.Dean starts his senior year a few weeks late thanks to an injury he sustained over the summer. He’s popular, the captain of the baseball team, and in danger of failing. He turns to the new kid for tutoring.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Castiel walked into school, keeping his head down as he went. Nobody greeted him or paid any attention to him. It was as if he didn’t even exist. It hurt, but Cas would never admit that to anyone, especially not his friends back home.

Being in Lawrence, KS was different than back home in Pontiac, IL. He had friends there and everyone knew him and greeted him. He was involved in school activities and helped out in the community. But all of that was taken away from him earlier in the year when his parents were killed by a drunk driver and he was forced to move to Kansas to live with his brother, Michael. At least he’d been able to finish out the school year before moving.

Cas sighed as he got closer to his locker. Raphael and his gang were hanging around, not even 10 feet from Cas’ locker. Cas knew who they all were. Every one of them picked on him constantly. But, there was a new face in the crowd. Cas could see his broad, flannel covered shoulders and his light brown spiked hair. His green eyes were fixed on his phone as he texted with someone. Of course, Cas couldn’t see Dean’s eyes, but he knew the color. He’d seen pictures and heard the girls drooling over the Winchester.

They were a few weeks into the year and this was the first time he’d seen Dean. He had to admit that appearance wise, Dean lived up to all the hype. But he’d also heard about how nice Dean was. There’s no way that could be true if he hung out with Raph and the other assholes.

Cas checked his watch and sighed when he realized he’d have to go over to his locker with them there. He’d hoped they’d leave and he could do what he needed without being harassed, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen.

As he got closer, he could hear the guys making jabs at students as they walked past. They were picking on the nerds, even going as far as to trip one and knock the books out of another’s arms, hitting on the hot girls, and making fun of anyone that wasn’t good enough to be  _ them _ .

Cas caught Raph’s eyes as he got closer and groaned. Here it comes. He quickly opened his locker, shoving things inside and pulling out what he needed.

"You'd think they wouldn't let gay little retards in this school. It's like we have no standards." The whole group laughed and agreed with Raphael’s statement, even Dean. His laughter was the loudest of them all. How could he have believed that Dean would be the nice guy that people claimed he was? Cas slammed his locker shut and hurried to his first class.

Dean glanced up from his phone in time to see Cas slam his locker and high tail it away from them. “Don't use that word. I hate that. You don't know how much that hurts someone to be called that."

“What? Gay or little?”

Dean slipped his phone in his pocket as he rolled his eyes. “You know what I’m talking about. Stop calling people retarded. It makes you sound ignorant.”

“Whatever. I call it like I see it. You haven’t been here to see how retarded he is. He doesn’t even talk to anyone.”

Dean grabbed the front of Raph’s shirt and slammed him back against the lockers. “I’m not gonna tell you again. Stop using that word.”

“Ok, ok. He’s a dumbass. Better?”

Dean sighed. “Not really. I gotta go to class.” Dean said as he grabbed his bag and headed for his first class.

————

Dean had been at school for a week now. He was so far behind that there was no hope of catching up without some help. One of his teachers suggested he go talk to the new kid, Castiel, and see if he’d be willing to help since he was a straight A student.

Dean slowly walked into the library, looking around until he saw the dark mop of hair hunched over a book at a table. He sighed and made his way over. “Uh, hey. I was told you might be able to help me with some of my classes. I’m, uh, behind on all of them. I don’t really care if I fail, but my uncle does, so I need some help. Think you could help me?”

Cas looked at Dean with wide eyes as he rambled. Their eyes met, then Cas flipped a page in his spiral notebook and started writing.

“You know what? Fuck you. I don’t need your fucking help. You think you’re so much better than me, huh? Gonna give me the fucking silent treatment? Straight As, big house, rich-ass parents. You’re not fucking better than me.” Dean said, as he stormed out to his locker, punching it.

He was shocked when a hand grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn around. His eyes met very pissed off blue ones, as the spiral was shoved against his chest forcefully. Dean swallowed and took the spiral and Cas motioned to it like ‘read it dumbass’.

Dean held the spiral so he could read it.

_ What subjects are you failing? I’d be more than happy to he _

_ You can go fuck yourself, Dean Winchester! I’m not better than anyone and I sure as hell don’t think I am! What gives you the right to sit there and judge me? I’m not giving you the silent treatment! I’m mute, you assbutt! _

Dean closed his eyes and sighed then looked up at Cas. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I thought you were just blowing me off when you started writing.”

Cas gave Dean a skeptical look and took the spiral back, writing on it.

_ Seriously? You expect me to believe you didn’t know I was mute? You and your friends make fun of me everyday because of it. _

“I’m being honest here. Nobody told me you were mute. They all just said you’re quiet and you never talk. I thought you were just this quiet, nerdy kid. I didn’t know we were making fun of your disability. God, I feel like such an ass.”

_ As you should. _

“I’ve been such an ass to you and you were still going to help me?”

Cas shrugged and circled where he’d written ‘ _ What subjects are you failing? _ ’.

“Math is the hardest to catch up on.”

Cas rolled his eyes and underlined ‘ _ subjects _ ’.

“Oh, uh, Calculus.”

Cas nodded.  _ I can help with that. It’d be easier if we can set up somewhere with my laptop. I’m faster at typing and could send you the explanation digitally. _

Dean watched as Cas wrote. “Ok. Sounds good. When do you think we could get together?”

_ Tomorrow after school? _

“Works for me. Where?”

Cas held his pen to his lip in thought.  _ Either of our houses should be fine, unless you’d rather meet in public. _

“My place? You need a ride?”

Cas nodded.  _ My car doesn’t work. It'd be easier to just ride with you. _

“What’s wrong with it?”

Cas shrugged.

“Maybe I could take a look at it sometime. You know, since you’re helping me.”

_ You know how to fix cars? _

Dean snorted. “I’d better or Bobby will fire me.”

_ Bobby? _

“My uncle. He’s like a dad to me. He’s a damn better one than my real dad. Anyhow, meet you here after school tomorrow?”

Cas smiled and gave Dean a thumbs up then watched the other man leave. He’d just spoken to Dean freaking Winchester, one of the biggest bullies in school. Or well, he hung out with the biggest bullies, so guilt by association.

————

Cas sat in the library waiting for Dean. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. He couldn’t help wondering if this was some sort of trick. What if Dean didn’t really need the help? What if they were just trying to get him alone to hurt him? 

Cas touched his throat as he thought about just leaving and texting his brother to come get him. He jumped when a hand touched his shoulder.

“Hey. You ready to go?”

Cas chewed on his bottom lip and nodded as he grabbed his stuff. He walked with Dean toward the parking lot.

“Wait until you see my Baby. I’ll bet you’ve never seen a sexier car than her.” Dean said as he lead Cas toward where she was parked.

Cas kept his eyes peeled for Dean’s friends. When he realized Dean was heading for a gorgeous black ‘67 Impala, he snorted. Dean looked over at him. “What?”

Cas mouthed ‘Mine’s sexier.’

Dean furrowed his brows. “Did you say your broken down car is sexier than Baby?”

Cas smirked and nodded.

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “No way. Not possible.”

Cas pulled out his phone and swiped through the photos. He turned the screen to Dean and watched his eyes widen, then listened as he laughed. “You have a two door?” Cas nodded. “1967?” Cas grinned and nodded again.

“Four doors are still sexier.”

Cas rolled his eyes and pulled up the notepad, typing.  _ They look the same, just more doors. _

Dean looked at the screen and shrugged. “Back seat’s a bonus.”

_ Two door has a back bench. _

“Four door has easier access.”

Unfortunately, Dean did have a point. Instead of typing, Cas just stuck his tongue out at Dean, who laughed.

“Get in.”

Cas got in the car, running his hand over the leather bench.  _ Mine has separate front seats. _

“Another bonus of the four door then.”

Cas rolled his eyes. 

Dean started the car and started driving. “So what kind of shape is yours in? Paint looked ok in the picture.”

Cas rolled his eyes and stared at Dean like he was a moron. Dean glanced over at him. “Oh. Right. Can’t really read while I drive, huh?” Cas rolled his eyes again and rested his elbow on the window, then rested his cheek on his fist.

Not being able to talk sucked, but it was worse in moments like this. He couldn’t write or type, so there was just silence. Cas once again wondered if this was a mistake. He’d tutored people at his last school, but he had a voice at the time. It was going to be harder than hell to tutor with just written text. He sighed sadly.

Dean glanced over at Cas. “Hey. It’s ok. We don’t have to talk while I’m driving.” Cas nodded and gave a thumbs up, but didn’t look at Dean.

Once they got to Dean’s house, it didn’t take long for Cas to find out that tutoring Dean was infuriating. He’d drum on the table, spin his pen between his fingers, click his pen nonstop, make weird noises, hum classic rock, basically he’d do anything but focus on what Cas was trying to explain to him. Cas had to knock on the table a few times to get Dean’s attention back on the work in front of them. This time, that wasn’t working so Cas tried a different approach.

‘Dean. Please pay attention.’ Cas whispered breathily. 

The pen in Dean’s hand stopped moving and he slowly turned toward Cas. “Did you just talk?”

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘No. The other person in the room did.’

Dean’s jaw dropped. “I thought you couldn’t speak.”

‘I can’t, but I can whisper. It has to be quiet for anyone to hear me, so I just don’t do it.’

“Holy shit, dude. This’ll make things so much easier. I’ve been going crazy with all the silence.”

‘Really? I couldn’t tell.’

Dean snorted. “You’re kinda a dick when you can talk.”

‘It takes one to know one.’

Dean belted out in laughter. “You’re an ok dude, Cas.”

‘Cas?’ Cas asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah. Castiel’s a cool name and all, but it’s kinda a mouth full.”

‘Says the person who can talk.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean get to know each other a little better.
> 
> This ones a little dark and talks about Cas cutting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Cas sat on a bench watching Dean work on his car. He was thrilled that it was getting fixed, but it was boring. He and Dean couldn’t hold a conversation without Dean stopping what he was doing, so Dean was working and he was watching. Cas had to admit, the view wasn’t bad.

Cas sighed and looked away from Dean bent over the engine with his jeans wrapping tightly over the swell of his ass. It wasn’t right for him to be thinking about Dean like that. Dean was straight and he was only helping him because Cas was tutoring him. They weren’t friends. If he’d met Dean in Pontiac or met him before Raph, then they would be friends. Unfortunately, this school saw him as someone to avoid at all costs. 

Cas messed with the hem of his shirt as he thought about his friends back home. They’d all probably be hanging out at the park right now, but maybe not since he wasn’t there anymore. He’d normally be at the park, enjoying the silence and the group would slowly find him and grow in size. What would they be doing without him there? They’d probably be at someone’s house playing video games or watching movies. That’s what they did when Cas couldn’t be involved.

“Cas?”

Cas startled and looked up at Dean, who had a raised eyebrow.

“Pretty deep in thought there, huh? I said your name three times. What’cha thinking so hard about?”

‘My friends.’

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? I hadn’t seen you hanging out with anyone.”

Cas shook his head. ‘Not here. Back home. Just wondering what they’re doing right now.’

Dean leaned back against the car with his arms crossed. “You had a lot of friends before you moved?”

Cas nodded. ‘The whole school, but only 5 very close friends and about 20 that would just hang around our group.”

“So you were popular?”

‘You could say that.’

“Why aren’t you now? I mean it’s like you’re not even trying here.” Cas shrugged and looked down. “So, why’d you move here?”

Cas’ hands balled up in his lap. ‘My parents were killed by a drunk driver. One of my brothers flew up and stayed with me so I could finish the year, but he couldn’t stay longer so I had to come here.’

“Shit, Cas. I’m so sorry. My mom was killed by one, too, my dad. He blames me. He snuck booze into my game and wrecked on the way home. I was on the team bus. If I’d been in the car I probably wouldn’t have made it either. I’m just glad Sammy wasn’t with them.”

‘Sammy? Is that your brother?’

Dean smiled. “Yeah. He’s a great kid, fucking genius. You two would probably be, like, best nerd friends or something. He’s got this one nerd friend, Kevin, but dude’s mom is crazy strict and they never get to go do shit. He ends up dragging  _ me _ to the boring new exhibits at the museum.”

Cas furrowed his brow. ‘Those exhibits aren’t boring.’

Dean laughed. “Yeah. You two would get along great. Maybe I’ll introduce y’all sometime.”

‘So he can drag me to them after my car is fixed?’

“Exactly!” Dean said as he laughed. “Come over here. I’ll show you how to maintain this beauty.”

Cas walked over to Dean and looked at the engine. ‘My brother was trying to get the local specialist to work on my baby, but he’s booked solid for months. Looks like he’ll be able to cancel that, huh?’

“You didn’t tell me you call yours baby, too.” Dean said as he nudged Cas with his elbow. “What garage was he gonna take her to?”

Cas shrugged. ‘I think it was Singer something.’

Dean glanced at Cas. “Singer Garage & Salvage?” Cas nodded as Dean took his hand and shook it. “Dean Winchester. Local Impala specialist and employee at Singer. Looks like you weaseled your way into upping your appointment and getting me to do house calls.” Dean said with a laugh.

Cas’ eyes widened. ‘How much do I owe you?’

“Nothing.”

‘I have to pay you, Dean. If Gabe had brought her in, then you would have been paid.’

“You don’t owe me anything, Cas. Seriously. But if you feel like you do, then we can go out for pizza, your treat.”

‘That’s not enough, but ok.’

Dean clapped his hands together. “Alright. Let’s get started on your lessons.”

Dean quickly found out that Cas would not make a good mechanic. He kept dropping tools or pieces that they needed and Dean would have to fish them out. He also kept banging his knuckles on things when his hands slipped. Dean decided to call it a day and let Cas treat him to pizza. 

Dean took a bite of his pizza. “Seriously, Cas. Don’t ever touch your engine. I think you’ll be ok topping off fluids, but that’s it.”

Cas did the mocking face at Dean, then rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue.

Dean laughed and threw a wadded up napkin at Cas. “If you honestly want to learn, then you can come to the shop with me and we can work on the junkers.”

‘Ok.’

“You ready to head out?” Cas nodded and finished his drink, then followed Dean out to the car, getting in. He smiled when Dean turned up the radio and started singing along. Cas could listen to Dean’s singing all day, everyday.

They pulled up to Cas’ house as Gabe was walking out the door. Cas groaned internally when he saw the smirk on Gabe’s face.

_ “Have fun on your hot date?” _

_ “It wasn’t a date! Fuck off!”  _ Cas signed as he blushed.

“What’d he say?”

Cas glanced at Dean. ‘Nothing. He’s just being an asshole.’

Dean nodded. “Ok. See you at tutoring.”

‘Ok.’ Cas whispered before getting out of the car and running into the house.

————

Cas sighed as he listened to everyone making plans for the Homecoming Dance. If he was back home, then he’d be doing the same thing. He’d be involved in the preparations and be looking forward to the game and the dance. This year he wouldn’t be going to either. 

Cas glanced across the cafeteria at Dean. He’d have no problem going if he could go with Dean, but that’d never happen. Dean would never like him like that. How could anyone ever like him like that now that he’s broken?

Cas watched as Lisa walked up behind Dean, wrapping her arms around his neck. Cas had to look away. He could feel the tears threatening to come. He gathered his stuff, throwing away his untouched lunch, and made his way to the library.

Once Cas got to the library, he sat down in his favorite corner. He pulled out a book and began reading. His skin itched. He wanted to be at home where he could carve another line into his flesh and will away the pain and emptiness in his heart. Since he couldn’t just skip his classes, he pressed his thumb into the freshest cut on his arm, wincing at the pain. At least it helped take the edge off.

Some days Cas thought about just ending it all. His parents were gone. His friends were gone. His voice was gone. His scholarship was gone. Sure, his brothers would miss him, but they’d eventually go on with their lives. It’s not like he had much to do with them since the attack. Dean wouldn’t miss him. He probably wouldn’t even notice he was gone. He’d just find someone else to tutor him.

Cas winced when he realized he’d dug so hard into the cut, that he’d caused it to open up. He pulled a bandage from his backpack and put it over the bleeding wound to keep it from getting on his clothes. The last thing he needed was anyone catching onto what he does. His brothers would force him to go to therapy, where he wouldn’t talk so I’d just be a waste of time and money. 

He’d have to make sure nobody found out.

————

Cas groaned when he heard the Impala pull up in front of his house. He didn’t want Dean to pick him up today. He didn’t want to hear about the game or the fucking dance. He just wanted to stay home in bed. Maybe if he didn’t move then Dean would just leave.

“Cassie, lover boy is outside waiting on you.”

“ _ Stop calling him that!” _

“Awww. Come on, Cassie. Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”

“ _ Because he’s fucking straight, Gabe! I’m already a big enough freak as it is!”  _ Cas grabbed his bag and went out the door, turning when he got close to the Impala and signing back to Gabe. “ _ Shut up you bag of dicks!” _

“You wound me!”

Dean bust out laughing as Cas got in the car. Cas glanced over at Dean with a raised eyebrow.

“...What?”

‘Why were you laughing?’

“Dude, that was funny.”

‘What was?’

“What you said...oh…”

Cas’ eyes widened. ‘You know ASL? Since when?’

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, uhh, I started learning. I wanted to surprise you, so, surprise.” He said with a small smile.

‘Why?’

“Why what?”

‘Why would you learn ASL to surprise me?’

“Dude, I like to talk to my friends and this will make it easier in louder places.” Cas stared at Dean. “What?”

‘I’m your friend?’

“Uh, yeah.”

Cas narrowed his eyes. ‘But you think I’m a retard.’

Dean’s eyes widened. “What?!? No, I don’t!”

‘You laughed!’

“When?”

‘When I was at my locker. Raph called me one and you laughed!’ Cas whispered as he looked down sadly.

“Hey. I wasn’t laughing at that. Sammy sent me a funny text. As soon as I heard what he said, I told him to stop. I hate that word, Cas. I hate anyone being called that, but dude, even if that was an acceptable word to use, you’d be the last person it’d be used on.”

Cas played with the hem of his shirt. ‘You told them to stop?’

“Yeah. You didn’t notice that they stopped using that word?”

‘Only around you.’

Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I should have known that they were still saying it. Sorry.”

Cas slowly looked up at Dean. ‘So, I hated you because of a misunderstanding?’

Dean furrowed his brows. “You hated me?” Cas shrugged and Dean shook his head. “Yeah. I guess, unless you also hated me because of my devishly good looks.”

Cas snorted. 

“I know. It’s a curse.”

‘Must be horrible for you to have to deal with that on a daily basis.’

“It really is. Sometimes I can’t even stand to look in a mirror because I get jealous of my own reflection.”

Cas snorted and shoved Dean. ‘Narcissist.’

“Nah, but it made you laugh.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have some rocky moments

Cas straight up skipped the last half of his classes. He didn’t care. He couldn’t sit there listening to fucking Lisa going on and on about how amazing the dance had been and how awesome a date Dean was. Of course Dean went to the fucking dance with fucking Lisa Braeden.

He didn’t want to know how amazing Dean was as a date. How it felt to be held by him as they danced. How good of a kisser he was. He didn’t want to know any of this from someone else, especially not Lisa. He wanted to know these things because he’d experienced it himself. 

Cas swiped his arms across his desk, scattering books and papers all over the floor. The more worked up he got over the fact that he’d never experience anything with Dean, the more he tore up his room. If he’d had a voice he would have screamed to get some of his anger out, but that’d been taken from him and thinking about it pissed him off even more.

Cas picked up a book and threw it across the room, his eyes widened when Dean just barely ducked in time to not get hit.

“Hey, everything ok?”

‘Just peachy, Dean. I’m just redecorating.’

Dean’s eyes drifted around Cas’ destroyed bedroom. “I didn’t see you at the dance.”

‘Why the hell would I go to the dance, Dean? Nobody wanted me there! Nobody wants me here!'

Dean was taken aback. “That’s not true. I want you here.”

Cas turned so his back was to Dean and hugged himself tightly, digging his thumb into a fresh cut. ‘I’m not up for tutoring today. You should just go.’

Dean started to take a step toward his friend. “We don’t have to study. We could just hang out.”

Cas wiped at his eyes. ‘Please, just go.’

Dean sighed. “Ok. See you around, Cas.” He said before leaving.

Cas fell to the floor crying when he heard Baby start and her rumble fade off into the distance.

————

Dean walked up to Cas when he saw him at his locker. The guy had been avoiding him for a few days now.

“Hey. What’s going on with you? Everything ok?”

Cas’ shoulders slumped when he heard Dean’s voice behind him. He shrugged in response then closed his locker and turned to leave.

Dean grabbed Cas’ arm, stopping him. “Cas? Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Just tell me how to make it right.”

Cas pulled out his spiral notebook.  _ You didn’t do anything. _

“Then why are you mad at me?”

_ I’m not. I wanted to go to the dance...  _ Cas quickly scratched that out, but Dean still caught it.  _ If I was back home I’d be doing things with my friends. I would have had a reason to go to the game and dance. I would have had a date or a friend to go with. I don’t have that here. Yeah, I could have gone, but what would I have done? I would have sat in some corner watching everyone enjoy themselves. Nobody would have come up to me to hang out or ask me to dance. And before you say, you would, you had a date. You wouldn’t have even seen me if I’d been there. _

Cas handed the notebook to Dean and looked away. 

Dean sighed as he read what Cas wrote. “I didn’t even think about that. Maybe we can find you someone before the Winter Formal.”

Cas snorted while rolling his eyes and took the spiral back.  _ Nobody wants me. _

“Do you like anyone?”

Cas shrugged.  _ Doesn’t matter if I do. They don’t want me. _ Cas shook his head when Dean started to say something.  _ Class. _

Cas grabbed his stuff and hurried off toward his next class, leaving Dean standing by their lockers.

————

Cas sat on a bench, watching Dean work on his Impala. There was just something about Dean when he was working on a car. He seemed much more confident than normal. Cas also enjoyed watching how Dean’s muscles moved under his shirt and how his biceps flexed when he was tightening or untightening something. Cas didn’t understand much about cars, but he did understand that when Dean was in the garage, he was even hotter than normal.

Dean pulled away from the engine, wiping his hands on his rag. “Fingers crossed.”

Cas held up both hands, crossing as many fingers as he could. Dean glanced over and laughed before sliding into the car and turning the key a few times. The third time the engine roared to life. Dean pumped his fist as he got out of the car.

Cas was so overjoyed that he threw himself at Dean, locking his lips with the other man, as he wrapped his arms around his neck. Dean froze for a moment before placing his hands on Cas’ hips and returning the kiss. It only took a split second for Dean’s brain to catch up with him. He pulled away and shoved Cas.

“Dude! What the hell?!?” He asked as he wiped at his mouth.

Cas’ eyes widened and he held his hands up in front of him. ‘I’m sorry!’

Dean wiped at his mouth again. “Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal.” He said as he refused to look at Cas. Cas gave Dean a sad look then looked down. “I, uh, I gotta go.”

Cas blinked back tears as he nodded and signed “ _ Thank you.” _

Dean grabbed his toolbox, tossed it in Baby’s trunk and tore out of there.

Cas watched Dean leave as tears rolled down his cheeks. He got in his Impala and turned it off before putting his hands on the top of the steering wheel and resting his forehead on them. His silent tears turned into crying, which turned into sobs.

He’d ruined everything. 

————

Dean raced all the way to Bobby’s house and almost tore the door off the hinges when he went inside. Sam looked up from his studying.

“Bad day?”

Dean paced back and forth in the kitchen. “Sammy, I don’t know what to do! You gotta help me!”

Sam’s eyes widened as he put his stuff down. “What’s wrong, Dean? What happened?”

Dean sighed and deflated. “I think I’m falling for a guy.”

Sam raised his eyebrow. “Really? You came in here like you were just told you’re dying.”

“This is serious, Sammy! Did you not hear me say I think I’m falling for a guy?”

“Is it Cas?”

Dean visually paled. “....What?”

“Well, he’s all you talk about anymore…” Sam smirked. “So when am I meeting my brother-in-law?”

“What?!? Fuck you, Sammy!”

Sam doubled over in laughter, then straightened when he saw the look on Dean’s face. Dean really was upset. “Did you kiss him yet?”

“Well... I, uh...he kissed me and I flipped out and ran.”

Sam rubbed his face as he shook his head. “Seriously, Dean? How do you think that made him feel?”

Dean thought about it for a moment, then got this mortified look on his face. “Oh, shit.”

“Do you like him?”

“I...I like hanging out with him.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Obviously. Did you like the kiss? Can you see yourself kissing him again? Do you  _ like  _ him?”

Dean put his hand over his mouth. “Oh, shit. I fucked up.”

“You don’t say.”

“No. You don’t understand. He wanted to go to the dance. All I’ve been talking about was going to the dance. I fucking took Lisa. He didn’t even go, Sammy. He basically told me he likes someone, but they’d never like him back, so it didn’t matter. He likes  _ me _ . He wanted to go to the dance with  _ me _ and I took Lisa because I was too stupid to see it.”

“Sounds about right.”

“How do I fix this?”

“Uh, talk to him. Tell him how you feel and that you’re the biggest dumbass that ever lived?”

“Thanks, Sammy! You’re the best!” Dean yelled as he ran out the door.

“You’re welcome!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries to fix things, but he’s Dean, so that can’t go smoothly.

Cas went out of his way to avoid Dean. If he saw Dean in a hallway, he’d turn and take another route. If he saw Dean coming toward him he’d duck somewhere and hide until he was sure it was safe to come out.

He’d kissed Dean Winchester. He’d ruined the only friendship he’d been able to form since moving to this horrible city. Cas knew that if he came face to face with Dean, that the other man would tell him they weren’t friends anymore. Cas couldn’t handle that happening.

On Tuesday Cas got a text from Dean.  _ I’m coming to the library after school. We need to talk. _

Cas texted Gabe to pick him up immediately after school, so he wouldn’t run into Dean.

On Wednesday Cas got another text from Dean.  _ I know you’ll be home tonight. I’m coming over so we can talk. _

Cas locked himself in his room and got Gabe to say he was out at some museum. Cas heard the Impala leave. Tears rolled down his face as he found new places to cut to make the pain go away.

On Thursday Dean texted yet again.  _ Am I gonna have to stand at the door of each of your classes? We need to talk, Castiel. _

Cas told Gabe his throat was hurting really bad and had him call the school. He emailed his teachers for his assignments and didn’t go in Thursday or Friday. Cas’ anxiety was so bad at this point that he could barely hold the razor when he made new cuts. 

Nobody was home. Cas looked down at his arm and wondered how much it’d hurt to make the cuts that would end everything. He dropped the razor as he curled up in a ball, crying. 

After a week of successfully avoiding Dean, the inevitable happened. Dean caught him off guard.

Cas was sitting in front of the school waiting for Gabe to pick him up, when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“Dude. Where’s your car?”

Cas’ whole body tensed as he pulled out his spiral notebook.  _ Home _

“What’s wrong with her? She stop running again?”

_ Can’t drive her without thinking about you.  _ When Cas realized what he’d written he tried to scratch it out before Dean saw it, but Dean’s hand grabbed his wrist before he could.

“..... What?”

Cas kept his eyes downcast and didn’t move to write or sign.

“Dude, get in Baby. We need to talk.”

_ That’ll be kinda one sided won’t it? _

“Get in the damn car!”

Cas jumped, but got up with his stuff and walked over to Baby, getting in. He flinched when Dean slid in beside him. Cas wiped his eyes, as he tried to keep from breaking down. This was it. Dean would tell him they weren’t friends anymore. He’d tell him how disgusting he is for liking guys and how much of a freak he is for not being able to talk.

“All I can think about is you, Angel.” Cas’ breath caught in his throat. There was no way he’d heard that right. “You, and that kiss, and how all I want to do is kiss you again.”

Cas slowly looked at Dean, finding his green eyes watching him. He searched them, looking for any sign that this was a cruel joke, but found nothing like that. His eyes flicked to Dean’s lips as he licked his own, then back to Dean’s eyes.

Cas was frozen. He couldn’t whisper or sign or write. He needed Dean’s lips on his, so he pleaded with his eyes as they flicked to Dean’s lips again.

Dean surged forward, claiming Cas’ lips, making the other man squeak in surprise. Cas reacted almost immediately. His lips moved against Dean’s, as his fingers raked through his hair. Kissing Dean was amazing and he never wanted it to end.

Cas slid on the bench, putting less distance between them. He shifted so he was straddling Dean without breaking the kiss. Dean’s hands found his hips, pulling them even closer.

The sound of people nearing the car forced them to pull apart as they gasped for air. Dean glanced around then looked at Cas’ kiss swollen lips then at his eyes.

“Let’s get out of here. Text your brother that you’ll be helping me study.” Dean said as he ran his fingers through Cas’ hair.

‘Ok.’ Cas whispered before moving back to the passenger seat. He pulled out his phone, texting Gabe. Cas rolled his eyes when his phone chimed.

“What?”

‘He forgot.’

Dean raised an eyebrow. “He forgot you needed a ride?” Cas nodded. “Good thing I saw you then.” Dean said as he pulled Cas’ face closer and kissed him softly. “Let’s go back to my place.”

Cas smiled and nodded. ‘Ok.’

Dean started the engine and drove towards his house. Cas smiled and looked down at his hand when Dean took it in his, lacing their fingers together. Dean hadn’t ended their friendship. He’d taken it to the next level. For once, Cas hadn’t ruined everything.

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand, then watched the scenery pass out the window. He couldn’t wrap his head around how all of this happened. He went from being the lowest man on the totem pole to making out and holding hands with one of the most popular guys in school. All the girls threw themselves at Dean, but Dean wanted him.

Cas glanced back over at Dean as they pulled into the driveway and Dean killed the engine. He smiled when Dean looked at him. “We’ve got the house to ourselves, Angel.” He said before getting out.

Cas quickly got out of the car and followed Dean into the house. As soon as Dean closed the door, he pushed Cas up against it, causing him to have a moment of panic before Dean’s lips crashed against his. Cas’ hand caressed Dean’s chest as his lips moved against Dean’s.

Cas ran one hand down to Dean’s ass, pulling their hips together. Dean moaned into Cas’ mouth then quickly pulled away as he tried to catch his breath.

“Fuck.”

Cas huffed a breathy laugh. ‘Yeah.’ He ran a hand under Dean’s shirt, letting his fingers blindly map out the dips and curves of his muscles.

“Want me to take it off?” Cas’ eyes flicked from the T-shirt to Dean’s eyes. He chewed on his lip then nodded. Dean kissed Cas softly then pulled his shirt off.

Cas’ eyes went to Dean’s bare abdomen. He ran both hands over Dean’s abs, then up to his chest. He pulled one hand away and fanned himself. 

Dean laughed and tugged at the bottom of Cas’ shirt. “What about you?”

‘Not as sexy as you.’ Cas whispered.

“Let me be the judge of that.” Dean said as he lifted Cas’ shirt over his head then looked at the exposed skin. “Damn, Cas. With a body like that I’d think you were in sports.”

Cas blushed and looked down. ‘I played soccer before I moved.’

Dean stared at Cas like he had a third eye. “You played soccer? Are you going to play here?”

Cas shrugged sadly. ‘Can’t talk.’

“That didn’t stop you at your other school.”

Cas sighed. ‘I could talk then.’

“Wait. What? What happened?”

‘Doesn’t matter.’ Cas looked up at Dean, trying his best to hide the sadness in his eyes. He leaned against the other man, tucking his head under Dean’s chin. ‘Can we please go back to what we were doing?’

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas. “Sure.” He guided Cas over to the couch, sitting down with him. Cas leaned into Dean, kissing him deeply as his hand roamed over his toned chest then down Dean’s stomach to the bulge in his pants. Dean moaned as his hips bucked, then quickly pulled away when he heard the familiar sound of John’s truck pulling up.

Dean jumped up, grabbing their shirts. “Fuck. Shit.” He tossed Cas’ to him as he tugged his on. “Go up to my room. Don’t come out until I tell you to.”

Cas furrowed his brow as he crossed his arms. Dean frantically looked at the door then at Cas. “Please. Please, Cas. I’ll be up there shortly.”

Cas glared, then stomped up the stairs, slamming Dean’s door.

Dean jumped when John stumbled in. “Hey, Dad. I wasn’t expecting you for another week.”

John backhanded Dean, splitting his lip. “Shuddup, boy. Gimme a beer.”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut, praying that Cas would listen to him and not leave the bedroom.

Cas sat on Dean’s bed with his arms crossed. He thought Dean was different. He thought Dean wouldn’t be the type of person to hide him from his family. He really wanted Dean, but he wasn’t going to be someone’s dirty little secret again. 

Cas stormed over to Dean’s desk, picking up a pen and grabbing some sheets of paper. He sat down and put into words just how he felt about Dean treating him like that. The ink flowed across the paper and before Cas knew it, he’d gotten most of his anger out on paper. 

He sat and waited, and waited, and waited. By the time Dean finally opened the door, Cas was laying on Dean’s bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Hey. That took a lot longer than I thought it would.” Dean said softly. “It’s safe for you to leave now.”

Cas sat up with a pissed look on his face. ‘Leave? You want me to…’ Cas’ eyes widened and he jumped up, hurrying over to Dean. He gently took his chin in his hand and tilted his head. His fingers barely brushed the skin next to Dean’s split lip.

‘Who was that?’

Dean closed his eyes with a sigh. “That came home? My dad.”

‘Your dad did this to you?’ Dean nodded. ‘Come with me. Stay the night at my place. My brothers won’t care.’

“I can’t. I need to stay here.”

‘Then I’ll stay with you.’

Dean sighed. “You can’t stay here. I dunno what he’d do if he found you”

‘Please, Dean.’ Cas whispered before kissing Dean’s neck.

Dean pulled away, putting distance between them. “I’m not gonna be some fucking fling, Cas. If you came over here thinking you’d fuck me and have some wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, then you can just stop this shit right now. That’s not gonna fucking happen.”

Cas’ eyes widened as tears filled them. He was mortified that Dean would think he wanted to just use him for the night. 

‘Why would you think that? I can’t drive my car without missing you.’

“Yeah, just because you want to hit this sweet ass then leave me high and dry.”

Fuck being mortified. Cas was deeply hurt that Dean didn’t think more of him than that. Cas wiped his eyes as he started gathering his things.

“Shit. I’m so sorry, Angel. I'm just freaked. I've never even been attracted to a guy before. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be an ass.”

Cas wiped his eyes and sniffled as he threw his backpack over his shoulder. ‘I'm so worthless. I mean, I can't even talk. Why would you want me? Why would anyone want me?’

Dean grabbed Cas’ shoulders. “But I do want you. I don’t care that you don’t have a voice, Cas. We talk just fine. We’re talking right now aren’t we?”

Cas shrugged. ‘I don’t do this with anyone else.’ He slowly looked up to meet Dean’s eyes. ‘How could you think I’d only want to fuck you then leave?’

Dean sighed and kissed Cas softly. “Like I said, I freaked. I’ve never been attracted to a guy and us almost getting caught by my dad…” Dean rested his forehead against Cas’. “He wouldn’t understand. This split lip? That’s him in a good mood while he’s drunk. If he’d walked in on us… Cas, I don’t know what he would have done, but I know I wouldn’t have let him touch you.”

Tears fell from Cas’ eyes. ‘You sent me up here to protect me.’ Dean nodded. ‘I thought you were ashamed of me.’

“I’m not ashamed of you, Angel. You wanna meet Sammy or Bobby? I’m fine with that. I just don’t want to deal with John.” Dean raked his fingers through Cas’ hair. “I know it’ll happen eventually. When it does, we gotta say we’re just studying, ok. I hate to do that to you, but I don’t want him hurting you.”

‘Ok.’ Cas kissed near the cut on Dean’s lip. ‘Please come stay at my house. I don’t feel comfortable leaving you here.’

“You’re brothers won’t mind?”

Cas shook his head. ‘They’ll probably throw a party just because I brought you home.’

“Ok. I’ll stay the night with you.”

Cas watched as Dean grabbed an overnight bag, then followed him down the stairs and out to Baby. Cas slid into the car as Dean got in beside him. He took Dean’s hand in his own, kissing the back of it. Dean glanced at him with a small smile and started the car, heading for Cas’ house.

Cas lead Dean inside when they arrived at his home. They were met by Cas’ older, but more immature brother.

“Well, well, well. Who’s this stud, Cassie?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “ _ Dean. I told you about him. He needs to stay the night.” _

Gabe smirked. “He needs to or wants to? You have condoms and lube?”

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose while Dean’s eyes widened. “ _ I do, but that’s not what this is about. His dad’s drunk and I didn’t feel right leaving him alone.” _

Gabe eyed the two boys. “The guest room has clean sheets, but I doubt he’ll be using it.”

Cas flipped Gabe off then took Dean’s hand, leading him to his bedroom. ‘Sorry about that. That was Gabe.’

“He thinks I’m here for sex and he’s still letting me stay?” Cas shrugged. “So where’s the guest room?”

Cas furrowed his brows. ‘You don’t want to sleep in here? I thought that maybe…’ He sighed sadly. ‘Nevermind.’ He grabbed Dean’s hand and started pulling.

“You want me in here?”

‘Yeah.’

“Why?”

Cas shrugged and wrapped his arms around himself. ‘I miss being held.’

“By your ex?” Cas nodded sadly. “You still want him.”

Cas looked up at Dean. ‘I want you.’

“You want me like you wanted Raph over the summer?”

Cas’ eyes widened and he signed frantically. “ _ I didn’t want him! I never did anything to make him even think that! Is that what he’s telling people? That I wanted to fuck him? Why the hell would I want to be with someone that stole my voice? Why would I want to be with someone that beat the shit out of me and left me passed out at the park? Why would I want to be with someone that put me in the hospital for over two weeks? Why would-“ _

Dean grabbed Cas’ hands, stilling them. “Whoa. I didn’t catch anything after you didn’t want him.”

Cas pulled his hands from Dean’s and went over to the bed, sitting on it with his head between his knees as he tried to stop the anxiety attack from building. Dean sat beside Cas, carding his fingers through his hair.

“Did he do something to you?” Cas nodded. “Did he...did he force you?” Cas shook his head.

Cas wiped his eyes then shifted so he was straddling Dean with his head tucked into the crook of his neck. Dean gently wrapped his arms around Cas and kissed his temple. “I’ll stay in here and hold you, ok.” Cas nodded against Dean’s neck. "You can tell me about it when you're ready."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas get to know each other better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  Writing/Typing

Cas woke up with Dean’s strong arms wrapped around him. It hadn’t been a dream. They’d really made out, then ended up at his house, sharing his bed. Cas smiled and snuggled closer. He couldn’t help but notice that Dean was not sporting a morning wood. 

Cas chewed on his lower lip. Was Dean even interested in him? What if Dean was straight and he was just bicurious? What if he was just someone for Dean to experiment with and once he was done he’d just dump Cas as if it meant nothing at all?

Cas closed his eyes, keeping the tears away. Of course Dean wasn’t really interested in him. Why would he be? He was broken. He couldn’t speak. He was just the nerdy, mute kid that nobody wanted to get to know. He was desperate for friends and a relationship and made it too easy for anyone to just come in and make a place in his heart.

He’d done the same thing with Raphael. He missed his friends and teammates so much that he’d missed all the warning signs that Raph gave off until it was too late. Look where that got him.

Cas gently played with Dean’s fingers. How far would Dean take it? Would he fuck him then decide he didn’t like the experience and just walk out? Would he string Cas along for a while then turn it all into one big joke? Dean could have any girl or guy that he wanted. There was no way he’d really want Cas.

————

Dean slowly woke up, pulling Cas back against him. “Mmm. I like waking up like this.”

Cas smiled a little. ‘Me, too.’ He looked back over his shoulder at Dean. ‘It’s not too weird since I’m not a girl?’

“What? No.” Dean kissed the back of Cas’ neck. “I like you, Cas. I think I have for a while. I was just too stupid to realize it.”

Cas nodded. ‘Wish we didn’t have to go to school today.’

“But you’re not the skipping type, so we do. We can do this again over the weekend, if you’d like.”

Cas smiled. ‘I’d like that.’

————

That weekend Dean drove Cas to a lake just outside of town. He’d hoped they could go back to his place, but John was still around, so that wasn’t an option. Dean parked and smiled at Cas.

“I like to come out here to get away from things sometimes.”

Cas turned and looked at Dean. ‘Like your dad?’

Dean sighed and nodded. “I don’t know why he’s still hanging around. He’s normally gone before now.”

Cas slid across the bench until he was against Dean. ‘I don’t mind being here with you. We can make out just as easily in your car as we can on your couch.’

Dean smiled and kissed Cas as he ran his hand under his shirt. He pulled back when his fingers brushed over a bandage that hadn’t been there the other day. “How long have you been doing that?”

Cas chewed on his lip and looked down. ‘A little before my parents died. It got worse after that, but then I lost my voice and I started doing it more.’

Dean gently took Cas’ arms in his hands and looked at his wrists. He ran his thumbs over the scars there. “Please don’t. Not here. Not anywhere where it could take you away from me.”

Cas blinked back tears and nodded. ‘Ok.’

Dean looked up, meeting Cas’ eyes. “I’m not gonna tell you not to cut. It’s your body. I will say that I wish you wouldn’t keep hurting yourself like that, though.” Dean brushed away Cas’ tears with his thumbs. “Can I see?”

Cas swallowed and nodded. He closed his eyes as Dean pulled his shirt off of him. Dean’s fingers gently touched bandages and traced healing cuts and scars. “My Dad hurts me when he’s home.”

Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean. “Like I said, the split lip is him as a happy drunk. He’s beat the shit out of me more times than I can count. That’s why Sammy doesn’t live with me. I won’t let him hurt Sam.”

‘You shouldn’t let him hurt you either.’

Dean shrugged. “If he hadn’t then I wouldn’t have needed you to tutor me.”

‘What do you mean?’

Dean kissed Cas softly then sighed. “He came home really pissed one night before school started. He’d been playing cards and lost, as usual. I was in my room when he came in. He doesn’t normally go up the stairs, but he needed a punching bag so he did, and he found me. He started hitting me. When I fought back, he grabbed my bat and hit me with it. He didn’t stop until he got it all out of his system.” Dean wiped away Cas’ tears. “Luckily my phone ended up on the floor during the fight. I called Bobby then I called 911. John was gone when they showed up. The hospital put me in a back brace for a while and Bobby made me stay with him while I healed. I missed school because I was still healing.”

Cas leaned forward, kissing Dean deeply. He licked into Dean’s mouth as he tangled his fingers in his hair. Cas slowly pulled away when he felt Dean’s tears. He gently kissed them away.

“Now do you understand why I don’t want you around him? I can’t let something like that happen to you. He could have killed me. If he found out about you…”

‘He’d have a problem with you being with a guy.’

“Yeah.”

‘Do you have a problem being with a guy?’

Dean looked up at Cas. “No. If I did, we wouldn’t be here right now. If I ever seem hesitant, it’s just because this is something new. I’m not used to this.” Dean said as he ran his hand over Cas’ chest. “Or this.” He said as he moved his hand lower and cupped Cas’ dick. “I’ve never even touched another guy like this before.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘It’s not any different than touching yourself.’ He said as he kissed Dean’s neck. ‘The great thing about touching another guy is you have the same equipment. You know what feels good.’ Cas moved his hand down to Dean’s dick, cupping it over his pants. ‘Girls don't know if they're using too much pressure on your dick or not enough. You already have first hand experience on just how to touch and tease.’ Cas kissed Dean’s neck as he undid his pants and slipped his hand inside.

Dean moaned as his hips bucked. Cas kissed up to Dean’s ear. ‘Go ahead. You can touch me. I like the same things you do.’

Dean swallowed and nodded, then undid Cas’s pants, slipping his hand into his boxers. He wrapped his fingers around Cas’ cock and tugged on it, running his thumb over the head. Dean watched as Cas’ eyes fluttered shut. ‘Just like that.’

Dean stroked Cas harder, watching as Cas’ breathing became more labored. Cas groaned softly and let his forehead fall onto Dean’s shoulder. ‘Fuck...Dean…’

“I, uh, I wanna try something.”

Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean. ‘Ok.’

Dean pushed his own pants down some then pulled Cas until he straddled his lap. He carefully pulled Cas’ cock out of his pants and wrapped his hand around both of their lengths. Cas kissed Dean with a smirk. ‘Where’d you learn this?’

Dean turned bright red and pressed his lips against Cas’ mumbling “Shut up.” against them.

Cas snorted, then pushed his tongue into Dean’s mouth as he shifted his hips, creating friction between their cocks. Both men moaned at the sensation.

Cas deepened the kiss as they both rocked against each other. Cas brought his hand between them, wrapping it around Dean’s to create a tighter grip on their dicks. 

Dean pulled away, breathing in Cas’ air as they rocked harder. “Fuck.” Dean breathed out as he rested his forehead against Cas’.

Cas wrapped his free arm around Dean’s neck. He planted soft kisses on Dean’s lips as he rocked his hips harder. Dean’s hips faltered and he groaned as his cum coated their hands. Cas nipped at Dean’s lower lip and thrust into their hands. His breathing hitched as his own cum mixed with Dean’s. 

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.’

Dean chuckled softly. “Me either. I just...Yeah.”

Cas snorted as Dean looked down at his cum covered hand and wrinkled his nose. “I don’t have any towels.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s wrist, bringing his hand to his mouth. He licked the cum from Dean’s hand as Dean watched with wide eyes. After Cas cleaned Dean’s hand he licked his own hand clean.

‘What? It’s not any different than swallowing after a blow job. And you wanted your hand cleaned off.’

“Yeah… I just didn’t expect you to do...that.”

‘You’ve never tasted your own cum?’

“Uh, no.”

‘Not even after someone went down on you? You didn’t taste it when they kissed you?’

“No.”

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. ‘Do you want to?’

“Ok.”

Cas kissed Dean, opening his lips so Dean could have access. Dean slowly slipped his tongue into Cas’ mouth, tasting himself and Cas for the first time. Dean tangled his fingers in Cas’ hair as he deepened the kiss even more. Cas moaned and tangled his tongue with Dean’s. 

They both broke apart, smiling at each other as they gasped for air.

“Wow.”

‘Yeah.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s GISH week so I may not post again until next week 😊


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are still kinda rocky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Cas looked at himself in the mirror. Dean was going to love his costume. He just knew it. He heard the Impala pull up and ran down the stairs to greet Dean. He opened the door, snorting when he saw Sheriff Dean leaning against the Impala.

Dean’s grin grew when he saw that his Angel was dressed as an angel. “Wow. You’ll be the hottest angel at the dance.”

Cas blushed and rolled his eyes. “ _ Will not.” _

Dean walked over to Cas, kissing him softly as he wrapped his arms around his waist. “Yeah you will. Everyone’s gonna try to steal you from me.”

Cas sighed sadly. Nobody would know he’s there with Dean. ‘Promise you won’t wander off and leave me alone.’

Dean fixed Cas’ halo. “I promise. I’ll have to hang with my friends some, but I’ll never leave you alone for too long.”

Cas nodded. ‘Ok.’

Dean slipped into the car shortly after Cas did. “You really are a gorgeous angel.”

‘You’re a pretty hot sheriff.’

Dean winked and started the Impala, driving to the venue. He followed Cas in and leaned close to him. “I gotta go make the rounds. I’ll catch up with you in a few.”

Cas nodded and watched Dean walk off. He stood in the same corner watching Dean bounce from one friend to the other for over an hour. Dean didn’t even look his way once. Cas sighed sadly as he made his way to the exit. He walked out to the Impala and took off his wings and halo. He draped both items over the side view mirror on the driver’s side, then pulled out his notepad.

_ I can’t keep doing this, Dean. I can’t only be yours when it’s convenient to you. I’m sorry.  _

Cas put the note under the wiper blade and started walking home. He wiped the tears away as he walked. He’d told Dean how he thought the Homecoming Dance would go and why he’d chosen not to go. He’d asked Dean to not leave him alone during this dance and Dean promised he wouldn’t. Five minutes in and he was already forgotten. 

Cas slowly made it home with tears streaming down his cheeks. He immediately went up to his room and pulled out his razor, making fresh cuts on his body. Cas wished he could go back and say he couldn’t tutor Dean. He wished he’d never taken the time to know him. He wished he could just make it all go away.

———

Dean looked at the clock and realized there was only 30 minutes left to the dance. He hadn’t spent any of the past two and a half hours with Cas. Dean darted around the room looking for the other man, but couldn’t find him anywhere. He checked his phone for any texts from Cas, but he didn’t have any. 

Dean ran out to the Impala hoping he’d find his boyfriend waiting at the car, but what he found broke his heart. Cas had left. His wings and halo were hanging on the mirror and there was a note on the windshield. 

Dean’s hand shook as he reached for the note. He swallowed hard and unfolded it, tears fell as he read what Cas had written. He’d fucked up yet again and this time he wasn’t sure he’d be able to fix it.

————

Dean looked for Cas at school for three days. He thought Cas was just avoiding him until he asked teachers if they’d seen him in class, and they hadn’t. They even went as far as to say he hadn’t even emailed for his assignments, so they were worried about him.

This, of course, made Dean worry. He thought about the cuts on Cas’ body and how he had so many and hadn’t even been doing it for a year. Cas didn’t say it, but Dean knew some of them had his name on them. He didn’t know how many, or which ones he’d caused, but he knew he’d caused some. He couldn’t help but wonder how many more had been added to Cas’ body because of him.

If Cas wasn’t at school today, then he’d go to his house and demand answers. As long as the answer included that Cas was ok, then he didn’t care if the rest was 'but he never wants to see you again.' Ok, he did care, but he’d deserve it. And maybe he could find a way to make it up to him and possibly win him back.

Dean walked into the cafeteria and was shocked when he saw Cas sitting at a table in the corner. He slowly made his way over to him. Cas looked like shit.

“Have we always had lunch together?”

_ No. I just changed my entire schedule today so I’d have to run into you. _

“Ok. I deserved that. I’m sorry about Halloween.”

_ Go sit with your friends, Dean. The longer you stand here the more your social status will drop. Can’t have that happening now can we? _

“My social status? I don’t give a shit about that. How much is it gonna drop after I do this?” Dean asked as he sat at Cas’ table.

Cas shrugged.  _ Maybe a dozen points.  _

“Is it ok if I sit with you?”

Cas shrugged again. _It’s a free country. I can’t really tell you not to._ _But I don’t really know why you’d want to._

“I wanna be near you, Angel.”

Cas raised his head, glaring at Dean with red rimmed eyes.  _ Don’t call me that. Just go sit with your friends, Dean. _

“Cas, I haven’t seen you since Friday night, and yeah, I know that’s my own fault. I fucked up. I lost track of time and when I realized it, you were already gone. I’m not good at this, Cas. I’ve only dated people in my group or people who want to be a part of the group. I’ve never looked outside the group for someone, so I don’t know how to balance shit.”

Cas sighed and put his face in his hands. 

“But I’m not the only one that’s bad at this, Cas. We have no classes together and I work most days after school until baseball season starts. The only time I get to see you is the handful of hours you help me study. Now, I find out we could have been having lunch together every day and you never told me?”

Cas rubbed his face with his hand.  _ I wanted to tell you. I want you to sit with me. You just can’t. _

“Why not?” Cas shook his head. “Should I go?”

Cas glanced over at Raph, who was glaring at him.  _ Doesn’t matter now. You’re already here. _

“Can I come over after school?”

Cas glanced at Dean.  _ To study? _

“No. Just to hang out. I don’t want this to be over, Cas. Please tell me I still have a chance and I’ll make it up to you.”

Cas chewed on his lip.  _ You can come over. _

Dean smiled softly. “Think my social status has banished me from the cool table yet?”

Cas snorted.  _ Possibly. _

————

Cas walked down the hall toward the exit. He wasn’t sure what time Dean would come over, but he wanted to be ready when he got there. He was passing a bathroom when he was grabbed and pulled inside of it.

Raph slammed him against the wall with his hand squeezing his throat. “What was Dean Winchester doing at your table today?”

Cas wheezed and tried to pull Raph’s hand from his neck.

Raph held Cas tighter as he punched him in the face. “Not gonna answer me, retard? Oh, that’s right. You can’t.” Raph laughed as he released Cas and he fell to the floor. “I wouldn’t let him sit there again if I was you.” He said before leaving the bathroom.

Cas leaned over, coughing. He pulled out his phone with shaky hands and texted Dean.  _ Sorry. I can’t hang out today. My brother needs me to run some errands for him. _

Cas slowly got up, wincing when he saw the bruise already forming on his cheek. He slowly made his way out to his car and made it home. He went inside and put ice on his cheek then heard a knock at the door. He walked over, opening it without checking who it was first.

“Don’t text me some bullshit lie, Cas. If you don’t… Who hit you?”

Cas shoved the hand not holding ice into his pocket.

“Was this because I sat with you?” Cas looked away. Dean gently turned Cas’ face back toward him and carefully lifted his hand so he could see the bruise. “Who hit you, Angel?”

‘It doesn’t matter.’ Cas lifted his tear filled eyes to look at Dean’s. ‘I need you, Dean. Please.’

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea right now.”

Tears slowly rolled down Cas’ cheeks. ‘Please, Dean. Please...just...make me feel something...good.’

Dean gently wiped Cas’ tears away. “Ok. You’re gonna have to help me with this. I’ve never done this before.”

Cas leaned into Dean’s touch and nodded. ‘I can do that.’

Dean kissed Cas softly. “Let’s go up to your room, Angel. I promise I’ll make you feel good.”

Cas walked up to his room with Dean right behind him. When he got to the room, he sighed and put the ice pack on his desk, then glanced at Dean. Dean moved closer to Cas and gently ran his fingers over the bruise on his cheek. “I’m so sorry you got hurt.” He said before gently kissing the bruise. “If I ever find out who did this I’ll kill them.”

Cas turned his head, kissing Dean softly. ‘Don’t worry about that. Please make love to me, Dean.’

Dean kissed Cas softly. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready, right?” Cas nodded. Dean kissed Cas, licking into his mouth as he ran his hand down to Cas’ ass, pulling their hips together. 

Cas melted against Dean as tears rolled down his cheeks. He ran his hand over Dean’s chest then down to the front of his pants. Cas undid Dean’s pants and slipped his hand into his boxers, stroking him.

Dean slowly pulled back, dipping his head down to kiss Cas’ bruised neck. He ran his tongue to Cas’ pulse point and sucked on it, making Cas moan breathily. Cas tangled the fingers not working Dean’s cock in Dean’s short hair.

Dean pulled back, wiping Cas’ tears. “How do you want to do this, Angel?”

Cas shrugged. ‘I can be face down if it’s easier for you.’

Dean furrowed his brow. “Huh? Easier for me?”

‘Yeah. Since I’m not a girl, if you have to imagine I am, then that’s ok.’

Dean caressed Cas’ cheek, kissing him softly. “If I wanted a woman’s body, then I’d be with a woman. Yeah, it’ll be different seeing another dick instead of boobs, but I’m ok with that. I want to see you, Cas.”

Cas wiped at his eyes and nodded.

“Why would you think I’d want to picture I was with a girl?”

Cas shrugged as he wiped his eyes more. ‘Sometimes Balth had to do that. He liked girls more.’

Dean gently took Cas’ face and kissed him softly. “Just because I’ve only been with women before you, doesn’t mean I want one. I’m with you, Cas. I want  _ you _ , Cas. I’m so sorry I’ve made you feel like I don’t. I’m trying, Angel, and I promise I’ll try harder. If you ever feel like I’m not doing a good enough job, then I want you to tell me. Ok?”

Cas nodded. ‘Ok.’

“So, how do you want to do this?”

Cas glanced over at the bed. ‘Umm. I can prep myself if you don’t want to.’

Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair. “Tell me what to do.” 

Cas chewed on his lip, then went over to his nightstand and opened it, pulling out his lube. Dean looked over Cas’ shoulder as he kissed his neck. He eyed the toys Cas had. “We gonna use any of those?”

Cas glanced back at Dean. ‘If you want to.’

Dean ran his hands up and down Cas’ arms as he kissed and nipped at his neck. “Do you prefer them?”

Cas shrugged. ‘It’s easier for me to use them on myself than just using my fingers. Balth always preferred them.”

Dean kissed Cas’ cheek. “Then we’re not using them today. I want you thinking about what I’m doing to you and not what he used to do to you.”

Cas turned in Dean’s arms with a smile on his face. ‘I’d like that.’

Dean lifted Cas’ shirt, stopping when Cas bit his lip. “What?” Cas sighed. “You’ve got new cuts?” Cas nodded and looked down as Dean carefully pulled Cas’ shirt off. He gently ran his fingers over the new bandages. “I’m so sorry that I made you feel like you had to do this.”

Cas watched Dean’s fingers caress bandages and run the length of scars. He grabbed the hem of Dean’s shirt and pulled it off of him. He took in Dean’s chest and abs as he ran his hands down them and grabbed the waistband of his pants and boxers. Cas flicked his eyes up at Dean then looked back down as he pulled his pants down, exposing his cock.

Cas completely removed Dean’s pants then took his cock in his hand, stroking it. Dean’s hips bucked as he moaned. Dean kissed Cas deeply as his hips thrust into Cas’ hand. He brought his hands to Cas’ pants, undoing them and slipping them down enough that he could stroke the other man’s cock. 

Cas moaned softly into the kiss as his hips rocked into Dean’s touch. Dean slowly pulled back, his eyes trailing down Cas’ body until they fell on his erect dick. Before he’d met Cas, he’d never thought he’d see another man’s dick in his hand, but he really liked how it looked and felt. Dean gave it a few pumps and twisted his wrist how he knew he liked it when he jerked off. Cas groaned and grabbed Dean’s shoulders to steady himself.

Dean looked up at Cas’ face as he continued to work his cock. Cas’ jaw was slack and his eyes shut. Dean kissed Cas’ jaw. “Think you could cum twice?” 

Cas’ eyes opened slightly and locked onto Dean’s. He licked his lips then bit it with a groan. ‘I don’t know. Maybe.’

Dean smirked as he stroked Cas faster. “We’re gonna find out, Angel.”

Cas whimpered and his legs shook as Dean stroked him harder and faster. Cas’ breathing became labored and he dug his fingers into Dean’s shoulders. Dean flicked his wrist and twisted his hand and Cas almost collapsed as his orgasm tore through him and coated Dean’s hand.

Cas leaned heavily against Dean as he panted. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck, using his boyfriend to keep him upright. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas and helped him onto the bed. He grabbed a towel to wipe his hand off, but Cas grabbed his hand and brought it to his mouth, licking the cum from Dean’s fingers.

“Holy shit, Cas. That’s fucking hot. Watching you cum was so fucking hot. I’ve never watched a guy cum before.”

Cas smiled as he sucked Dean’s fingers into his mouth. ‘Do you know what to do now?’

Dean glanced at the lube. “Uh. I have a basic idea. I stretch you with my fingers, right?”

Cas nodded and handed the lube to Dean. Dean put some lube on his fingers and ran them over Cas’ hole when he pulled his knees to his chest. Cas’ eyes fluttered closed and he bit his lip when Dean slowly pushed a finger into him. Dean thrust his finger into Cas then added a second one. Cas licked his lips then chewed on his lower lip as Dean thrust his fingers deep into him. 

Cas let go of one leg and made a scissoring motion before grabbing his leg again. Dean scissored his fingers, making Cas groan and nod. Dean slowly worked Cas open, then easily added a third finger, thrusting them into Cas. Cas’ back arched and he threw his head back with a groan that made him wince.

“Did I hurt you?” 

Cas shook his head frantically. ‘Do that again.’ Dean thrust his fingers in at the same angle and got the same result. Cas panted as he looked at Dean. ‘Please. I need you.’

Dean nodded and pulled his fingers from Cas. He glanced around. “Condom?”

Cas shook his head. ‘Don’t want one. I’m clean. You?’

“I’m clean.” Dean said as he lubed up his cock then moved so he was over Cas. Dean smiled then kissed Cas softly. He positioned himself and slowly sank into Cas’ tight heat. Dean watched as Cas’ eyes fluttered shut and his mouth went slack. His hands wrapped around Dean, the fingers of one hand digging into the back of his neck while the others dug into his shoulder blade. Cas’ legs wrapped around Dean’s waist, urging him to go deeper.

When Dean finally bottomed out, Cas sighed happily and his eyes fluttered open and locked on Dean’s. What he saw in Dean’s eyes filled his heart with joy. Balthazar had never looked at him like that. Cas was broken and Dean looked at him like he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Cas blinked back tears as he pulled Dean down and kissed him. He rocked his hips into Dean, making him moan into the kiss.

Dean pushed his tongue into Cas’ mouth as he thrust into him. Cas moaned into the kiss, his hand running up and down Dean’s back as the other tangled in his hair. Cas moaned and pressed his body against Dean’s when Dean grazed his spot. Dean slowly pulled back with a grin. “That feel good, Angel?”

Cas swallowed and nodded, then moaned when Dean hit his spot. “I think I’ve got the hang of this.” Dean said with a smirk and a wink, before hitting Cas’ spot again.

Cas’ back arched and he threw his head back. “Dean.” He moaned with a strained voice. 

Dean licked and nipped at Cas’ exposed neck as he thrust deeper and harder into him. “I like the way my name sounds coming from your lips.”

Cas groaned as he rocked his hips harder. ‘C-close.’

Dean kissed Cas hard, pulling back and licking his lips. “Me, too.”

Cas’ grip in Dean’s hair tightened. He bit his lip hard as he watched Dean get closer and closer to climaxing. Cas pulled Dean down to him so his mouth was close to his ear. “Dean.” He groaned with a less strained voice as his orgasm ripped through him.

Hearing Cas’ voice threw Dean over the edge. He came, filling Cas. “Cas!” 

Dean rested his forehead on Cas’ shoulder, smiling softly when he felt Cas’ fingers carding through his hair. ‘It’s never been like that.’

Dean lifted his head, looking at Cas and seeing tears fall from his eyes. “Is that a never been that good or never been that bad?”

Cas huffed a laugh and wiped his eyes. ‘Never been that good.’ Cas glanced at Dean. ‘Did you enjoy it?’

Dean kissed Cas softly. “Angel, it’s never been that good for me either.”

Cas smiled as he caressed Dean’s cheek. ‘Stay the night?’

Dean smiled and kissed the palm of Cas’ hand. “Ok.” Dean laid beside Cas, pulling him close. “How’s your throat?”

Cas swallowed and winced a little. ‘Sore. I haven’t made noises in a long time.’

“And you spoke.”

Cas snuggled closer to Dean. ‘I did. Don’t expect that very often. It hurt.’

Dean ran his fingers up and down Cas’ spine. “I wouldn’t ask you to do something that hurts you, but thank you for doing it.”

‘You’re welcome.’ Cas gently ran his finger over Dean’s chest, drawing shapes. ‘Are you really ok with this?’

“With what?”

‘Being with me like this.’

Dean turned his head so he could look at Cas. “Holding you like this or us having sex?”

‘Both, but mainly the sex.’

Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head. “Yeah, I am. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about it. I mean, since kissing you I’ve wondered what it’d be like to have sex with you. I thought it wouldn’t be much different than the two girls I’ve been with, but it was. You’re way more responsive. Like when you dug your nails into me...I liked that.”

Cas tilted his head to look up at Dean. ‘You did? Balth never liked that. I scratched him once and he complained for a week about the marks.’

“He doesn’t sound like a very fun lover.”

Cas snorted. ‘He wasn’t. It was good, but sometimes it was almost mechanical. He was never as into it as you were.’

Dean lifted Cas’ chin, kissing him softly. “I was very into it. Just let me know when you wanna do it again and I’ll be just as into it then.”

Cas smiled and snuggled closer to Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else finding themselves cursing Misha this week? #gish2019


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are still a little rocky, but this time it’s not Dean’s fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Cas woke up to Dean’s hard cock pressed against his bare ass. He couldn’t help but smile. Cas bit his lip as he adjusted so Dean’s length was in the cleft of his ass, then started rubbing his ass against Dean.

Dean moaned and tightened his arms around Cas’ torso, kissing the back of his shoulders and neck. “How much time do we have, Angel?”

Cas glanced at the clock. ‘Enough.’

“How do you want to?”

‘Like this.’ Cas whispered as he ran his hand to Dean’s ass and looked over his shoulder at him. ‘I’m still good from last night.’

“You sure?” Cas nodded and turned his head even more, reaching for Dean’s lips. Dean leaned forward, kissing Cas as he positioned himself and slowly pushed into him. Cas dug his fingers into Dean’s ass as he pushed his tongue into his mouth.

Cas pulled back, tugging on Dean’s lower lip. ‘Fuck me. I want to feel it all day.’

Dean ran his tongue over Cas’ shoulder to his neck. He bit down, then sucked as he started thrusting hard and fast into Cas. Cas moaned and dug his nails even harder into Dean’s ass. He rocked his hips, meeting every thrust as he scratched up Dean’s back.

Cas bit his lip with a groan when Dean thrust hard against his spot. Dean’s fingers wrapped around his cock and started stroking him. Cas reached back and tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair as his breathing became labored.

Cas tried to suppress the groan that fell from his lips when his orgasm tore through him, but it was no use. “Dean…”

Dean milked Cas’ cock as he thrust into him harder. He cried out Cas’ name when his orgasm coated Cas’ insides. Dean panted as he rested his forehead against the back of Cas’ neck. “Damn.” He said breathlessly.

Cas snorted and smiled when Dean kissed the back of his neck. Cas rolled over to face Dean. ‘Good morning.’

Dean laughed. “Morning, Angel.” He said as he ran his fingers through Cas’ hair. “Best wake up call I’ve ever had.”

Cas snorted and kissed Dean softly. ‘Glad you liked it.’

Dean nipped at Cas’ lower lip, then ran his hand over his own ass. “I think you drew blood with those claws.”

Cas shifted to look at the scratches he’d left on Dean’s ass and back. ‘Only a little. Did you not like that?’

“Loved it. We’ll both be feeling this all day.”

————

Cas sat in the cafeteria during lunch, reading a book. Lisa and her friends sat a few tables away squealing and gossiping, making Cas roll his eyes until he heard Dean’s name.

“So, I have everything planned for the Winter Formal with Dean. I’ve even got a room rented for after the dance.” Lisa was telling her friends.

“Got a room so you wouldn’t have to hook up in that old ass car he loves?”

“Exactly! There’s nothing sexy about doing  _ anything _ in that thing. I want a plush bed when he fucks me again. Oh, here comes my baby.”

Dean walked over to the group, giving Lisa a hug. “Hey. What are you girls up to?”

“We were just waiting for you to grace us with your presence.”

Dean held his hands out to his sides. “Well, here I am.” He said as he grabbed a chair and sat next to Lisa. 

Cas shoved his book in his bag and got up so quickly that his chair fell backwards, hitting the floor. 

Dean’s head shot up and his eyes caught Cas’ before Cas ran from the room.

Lisa snorted. “He’s probably upset you didn’t sit with him again. He has a big gay crush on you, you know.”

Dean quickly got up. “I gotta go.” 

Dean rushed from the room, looking for Cas. He finally found him at the end of a hall, bent over with his hands on his knees as he tried to control his breathing. Dean gently placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder, making him jump.

“Hey. What was that? What happened?”

Cas shrugged Dean’s hand off and set him with a hard glare before walking away.

“Cas! What did I do wrong?!” Dean sighed and put his face in his hands. He wished he knew what he’d done to piss Cas off like this. Last night and this morning had been so wonderful. What could have possibly happened between then and now?

Cas walked out to his car, not caring that he’d be skipping half the day. He started her as tears flowed down his cheeks. He’d thought sex with Dean had meant something, but of course it didn’t. How could Dean ever want him when he could have someone like Lisa. He could have someone that wasn’t broken and wasn’t a guy.

Cas wiped away his tears as he drove home. Hearing that Dean was taking Lisa to the Winter Formal shouldn’t have hurt so much, but it did. Cas knew Dean wouldn’t take him. Nobody at school knew about them. They only knew he was tutoring Dean so he could keep his grades up for baseball season. 

Once Cas got home, he crawled into bed and ignored every alert he heard on his phone. They were all Dean. He knew that.

————

Dean hadn’t seen Cas the rest of the day. He texted numerous times, but never got any replies. He tried to think of anything he could have said or done to upset his boyfriend, but nothing was sticking out. 

Boyfriend. Cas was that, right? They hadn’t discussed labels, but Dean was pretty sure they’d crossed into that one. Of course, after today they might not be anymore.

Dean sat at his desk with a sigh. He texted Cas, yet again, and got nothing back. He tossed his phone onto his desk, raising his eyebrow when he saw a paper with Cas’ handwriting on it. Dean pulled the paper out and read it, tears falling down his cheeks at what Cas was saying. 

He’d made Cas feel like he was a dirty little secret? Dean glanced around. How had Cas gotten this into his room without him knowing? Dean went back to reading. This wasn’t from today. This was from the night John came home and interrupted them. When he’d sent Cas up here to hide. But so much of the letter sounded like it fit right now. Maybe Cas was mad that they’d became a couple and Dean hadn’t announced it? But that didn’t sound right. Cas knew he wasn’t out to his friends. He wouldn’t force him to be out, would he?

Dean jumped when an alert sounded on his phone. He crossed his fingers that it was Cas. He furrowed his brow when he saw it was from some guy named Balthazar. 

_ You’re such a fucking wanker! If I lived closer I’d kick your bloody ass! _

What the fuck? Now strangers were pissed at him, too? Dean pulled up the dude’s profile and what he saw brought tears to his eyes. Cas. But this wasn’t  _ his _ Cas. This Cas was smiling beautifully and hanging out with large groups of friends. He was making faces at the camera, playing soccer, draping his arm across his friends’ shoulders, laughing. He was happy.

_ I don’t know what I did to piss him off. _

_ Really? You fuck him last night and this morning and you’re already planning your next fuck with someone else? Cassie isn’t just some toy that you can discard once you’re tired with it. _

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. Planning to fuck someone else? What the hell? 

_ I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t make plans with anyone else. I was hoping he’d come back to my place with me after school so we could have more fun. _

Screenshots started pouring into Dean’s messenger. Cas was clearly upset and pouring his heart out to this guy. Dean had to admit that it hurt like hell that Cas would turn to someone else instead of just talking to him, but at least he reached out to someone.

Dean felt tears roll down his cheeks when he read one screenshot. Cas wished he was back home because he missed Balthazar so much. He missed being held by him.

_ You’re the ex. _

_ I am. We weren’t great as lovers. We’re much better as friends. _

More screenshots followed. And finally, the one Dean had been waiting for. 

*****

Cas:  _ I can’t believe I was so stupid! I slept with Dean then today I overheard that Dean has plans to take some slut to the Winter Formal and is going to fuck her afterwards. I knew Dean wasn’t going to take me because nobody knows about us, but I never expected Dean to take her. _

Balth:  _ Fuck him, Cassie. He’s not worth your time if he’s going to use you like that. Find someone else that’ll treat you right. _

Cas:  _ I love him, Balth. _

Balth:  _ I know. _

Cas:  _ Why would he do this to me? _

Balth:  _ I don’t know, sweetheart. _

_ ***** _

Dean wiped his eyes.  _ I love him, too. I don’t have any plans with her. Lisa’s just assuming that I’ll take her again this year. I really wish he would have told me what was wrong instead of just storming off. _

_ Clearly he was too upset to talk to you. _

Dean sighed.  _ Tell me about the Cas you knew. I’ve never seen him as happy as he is in your pictures. _

_ What do you mean? _

Dean sent a few pictures he had of Cas to the other man.  _ I guess when he lost his voice he changed. He’s always alone and hardly ever smiles. The only time I’ve seen him smile is when we’re alone. That’s the only time he talks. All he can do is whisper, but it’s enough for me. In public he writes his responses unless he’s talking to me and then he signs. _

_ What do you mean he lost his voice?!? What in the bloody hell happened? He’s on the team, right? Isn’t he friends with them? _

_ I don’t know what happened. It was before I met him and he won’t tell me. No. He’s not on the team. He says it’s because he can’t talk, but I think there’s more than that. _

_ WHAT?!? _

Dean wiped at his eyes.  _ I don’t know what to do, Balthazar. After seeing your pictures I feel like I don’t even know him. I want to know him. _

_ Cassie is such a beautiful soul. He never met anyone he wasn’t friends with. If someone was struggling he’d be the first one to help them get back on their feet. He's always at the center of attention, he was the core of our group. Without him, there is a giant hole that we can't seem to fill. _

Dean couldn’t help the tears that fell.  _ He's just so reserved here. I think I'm his only friend and now he's pissed at me. _

_ Then fix it. He still loves you. Tell him how you feel and bring him out of the shell he’s created. _

Dean looked at the two links Balthazar sent after saying that. Both were to YouTube accounts. One was Balthazar’s and the other was Cas’. Dean clicked to Balthazar’s first and click on a video. The first thing he heard had him sobbing uncontrollably. Cas’ voice. Something he thought he’d never hear. It was deep and beautiful and was directed at Balthazar.

*****

“Balth, stop filming me you ass. I’m not even doing anything.”

“You don’t have to be doing anything. Just you on film is good enough, sweetheart.”

Cas laughed and looked at the camera with a big grin. “You’re such a moron sometimes. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do. You remind me constantly. You’re such a great friend, pointing out all my faults.”

Cas doubled over in laughter. “I’d never be able to point them all out.” He said with a wicked grin. “Shit. I mean shoot!” Cas said as he scrambled to get up and started running. Suddenly a bunch of little kids entered the frame, chasing Cas. They giggled and laughed when they finally ‘caught’ him and dog piled him. “Balth! Help!”

Balthazar laughed. “It was your idea to teach the little monsters how to play. You have to pay the price now.”

*****

The video went on to show Cas teaching the children how to play soccer. He was vibrant and caring. He took his time with each kid until they knew how to do what he was teaching them. Cas was amazing. Dean had known that for a while now. He just never knew how amazing he was.

The next video was a group of friends sitting in the grass. Cas was draped across a few of their legs and looking up at the sky, giving them random, useless facts that made them laugh.

*****

“Did you know there are 293 ways to make change for a dollar?”

“When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers plays football at home, the stadium becomes the state’s third largest city.”

“The “dot” over the letter “i” is called a tittle.” A few people snickered at that one.

“Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life. What about milk you say? A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living.”

“The Philippine island of Luzon contains a lake that contains an island that contains a lake that contains another island.”

“If the sun is scaled down to the size of a white blood cell, the Milky Way would be equal to the size of the United States.”

“Crows are able to recognize human faces and even hold grudges against ones that they don’t like.”

“Statistically, you are more likely to die on the way to buy a lottery ticket than you are to win the lottery itself.”

“The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.”

“Cassie?”

Cas turned his head to look at the camera. “Yes?”

“How do you know all these things?”

Cas shrugged and looked back at the sky. “I’ve picked them up over the years.”

Balthazar laughed. “You say that like you’re 80 and have years of life experience.”

Cas shrugged again. “Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.”

Balthazar laughed again, making the camera shake. “You’re something else, sweetheart.”

Cas just smirked.

*****

Dean wiped his eyes.  _ Thanks for those. _

_ You’re welcome. _

_ I don’t deserve him.  _ Dean typed as he started crying.

_ That’s for him to decide, not you. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking better for the guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Dean walked into the school, going straight to Cas’ locker. “Cas? Please talk to me about this.”

Cas slammed his locker and glared at Dean as he shoved his hands into his pockets then walked away. 

Dean sighed as his head drooped. 

The rest of the day went about the same. Every time Dean approached Cas he’d shove his hands in his pockets and leave. Dean knew what he had to do. He stopped Cas in the lunchroom.

“I talked to Balthazar.”

Cas’ eyes widened and he slapped Dean hard. “ _ How dare you contact him! What gives you the right to contact my ex? You think that just because we fucked you’re-“ _

Cas was cut off by Dean grabbing his shirt and pulling them together so their lips were only about an inch apart. 

“Shut up. I love you, too.” Dean whispered before pressing his lips against Cas’. Cas squeaked in surprise before slowly wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean’s hands rested on Cas’ ass, pulling them closer as his tongue breached Cas’ mouth.

Dean slowly pulled back, caressing Cas’ cheek. “I didn’t contact him, Angel. He messaged me.”

Cas slapped Dean again. “ _ Don’t call me Angel! Wait, he contacted you?”  _ Dean nodded. Cas’ eyes widened. “ _ Wait! ...You love me?” _

“Of course I love you, Cas. I thought you knew that. You’re supposed to be the smart one in this relationship.” Dean said before pulling Cas close again and kissing him. “I’m taking you to that fucking dance and then we’re going back to my place and fucking all night. Anyone that doesn’t like it can suck my dick.”

_ “I thought that was my job.”  _ Cas signed with a snicker.

Dean grinned. “It is.”

Cas glanced around when he realized they were in the middle of the packed cafeteria. He shoved Dean away. “ _ You just outted us to the whole school!”  _ He signed as he turned red.

“Nah. I only outted myself. Everyone already thought you were gay.” Dean turned to look at everyone. “I’m just gonna go ahead and make it official right here. Cas and I are dating. He’s my boyfriend and if you have a problem with that, then I don’t have time for you. Y’all got that?” Dean watched as people nodded then turned back to Cas.

“Will I see you after school?”

Cas leaned forward, bringing his lips to Dean’s ear. ‘Let’s go out to Baby.’

Dean pulled away and looked at Cas. “Yeah. Ok.” He said as he took Cas’ hand and pulled him from the cafeteria. He dragged Cas all the way to Baby and unlocked her. 

Cas pushed Dean against the car, kissing him deeply as he undid his pants and pushed them down. Cas pulled away and dropped to his knees. He glanced up at Dean before taking him into his mouth.

Dean moaned. “Someone could see us, Angel.” Cas responded by swallowing Dean down. “Oh, fuck.” Dean groaned as he tangled his fingers in Cas’ hair. Cas bobbed his head, swallowing Dean a few more times before he pulled off with a pop.

Cas stood up, kissing Dean as he undid his own pants and pushed them off. He opened the back door and laid across the seat. Dean quickly kicked off his pants and pulled his wallet out, searching it. “I don’t have a condom.” 

Cas shrugged and motioned for Dean to join him. He reached for his wallet and pulled out a travel lube, handing it to Dean. “You sure you wanna fuck at school without a condom?”

Cas nodded and kissed Dean softly. ‘You’re my boyfriend, right?’

“Yeah.”

Cas ran his hands under Dean’s shirt, pushing it up until he could pull it off. ‘Then fuck me.’

Dean pulled Cas’ shirt off of him, then opened the lube. He put some on his fingers and pushed one into Cas. Cas licked his lips, then bit the lower one and let out a breathy moan. Dean thrust his finger into Cas, adding a second to stretch him further. Cas pulled his knees to his shoulders, giving Dean better access and was rewarded with a third finger fucking him open. “Fuck you’re flexible.”

Cas smirked and nodded. He finally felt Dean’s fingers pull out and watched him add lube to his cock. Cas let out a long, breathy moan when Dean finally pushed into him. He pulled Dean’s head down and kissed him deeply, licking into his mouth.

Cas’ nails clawed at Dean’s back as he thrust deep and hard into him. He pulled away, gasping for air as Dean thrust even harder, making Baby rock with his thrusts. Cas had to put one hand on Baby’s door to keep his head from hitting it.

Dean stroked Cas as he hit his spot. Cas had to clasp a hand over his own mouth to keep from crying out. He groaned when his orgasm hit and his cum striped his belly and covered Dean’s hand. Cas’ eyes fluttered shut when he felt Dean fill him.

Dean pried Cas’ hand from his mouth as he held still inside him. He kissed him deeply, their lips dancing together as their tongues tangled. Dean slowly pulled back, caressing Cas, cheek. “I love you.”

Cas smiled and cleared his throat with a wince. “I love you.” He managed to croak out before wincing in pain and holding his hand to his throat. 

Dean kissed Cas softly as he helped him into a more comfortable position. “Shhhh. I don’t need to hear you, but thank you.”

Cas smiled and nodded as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “ _ Sex hair.” _

Dean laughed. “You always have sex hair. It’s fucking hot.”

“ _ Your fault this time.” _

“Mmmhmmm. And everyone is gonna know it and know you caused mine.”

Cas raised his eyebrow. “ _ Not going to fix yours?” _

“After you spent all that time styling it? Nah.”

Cas smirked and ran both hands through Dean’s hair, further messing it up. He snorted and reached for his phone, snapping a picture of Dean. Dean grabbed the phone and snapped one of Cas then sent it to himself. 

Cas rolled his eyes and snatched the phone back, looking at the picture of himself. “ _ I look well fucked.” _

Dean laughed. “I’d hope so.”

Cas glanced around the car. “ _ She was wrong.” _

“Who?”

“ _ Lisa said there’s nothing sexy about doing anything in you car. She was wrong.” _

Dean kissed Cas softly. “She wouldn’t know. She’s never done anything more than ride in Baby. She did kiss me once, but it never went further than that. You don’t have to worry about her.”

‘I know.’

“Do we have to go back in there?”

Cas snorted a laugh. ‘Yes. If you’re good I’ll let you fuck me after school, unless you want a turn.’

Dean chewed on his lip. “I’ll think about it. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

Cas caressed Dean’s cheek. ‘If you ever are, just let me know.’

————

Dean slowly made his way into the house. The car he’d been working on was kicking his ass and right now all he wanted was a nice, hot shower and his bed. He locked the front door, stopping when he heard something upstairs. 

Music. He’d probably left the radio on when he’d left that morning. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time he had. Dean went up to his room and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight in front of him. Cas was naked on his bed.

“Cas? What are you doing here?”

Cas glanced down at himself.  _ “I’m naked in your bed. I’d think that was pretty obvious.” _

Dean rubbed his face. “I mean, what are you doing in my house? How did you get in?”

Cas snorted.  _ “The fake dog poop key hider is pretty obvious, Dean. I thought I’d give you a nice surprise after work, but if you want me to leave…” _

“No! No, uh, don’t leave. This is definitely a nice surprise. I just need a shower before I can join you.”

Cas got off the bed and walked over to Dean, kissing him softly. ‘I can help you with that shower.’ Cas whispered as he pulled Dean’s shirt off of him. He kissed Dean chest as he undid his pants and pushed them and his boxers down.

Dean kicked out of his shoes, then stepped out of his pants. He took Cas’ hand, following him into the bathroom and into the shower after Cas had turned it on.

Cas moved behind Dean, kissing the back of his neck and shoulders as he ran his hands down his arms. ‘You look worn out.’

Dean sighed. “I am. Had a car today that about killed me. I should have been home two hours ago, but the customer needs her car in the morning.” Dean glanced over his shoulder at Cas. “Please tell me you haven’t been waiting that long.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘I haven’t. I was out with Gabe and asked him to drop me off here. I thought you’d be home. When you weren’t I let myself in.’

“Good.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder, then picked up the washcloth and lathered it with soap. He ran the cloth over Dean’s body, scrubbing away dirt and oil while massaging any knots he found in Dean’s muscles. 

Dean moaned and put his hands on the shower wall to help support him. His breath hitched when Cas moved the washcloth to his ass, running it between his cheeks and gently scrubbing his hole.

‘You like that?’ Dean nodded as he bit his lip. Cas pulled the washcloth away and pressed his finger against Dean’s hole. Dean moaned and pushed back against Cas’ finger. ‘You want it inside you?’

“Yeah.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s shoulder as he applied more pressure, then pulled his hand away. ‘After the shower. You’re barely able to stand.’

Dean groaned. “Then let’s finish the shower.”

Cas kissed the back of Dean’s neck as he finished scrubbing the dirt and grime off of Dean. He picked up the shampoo and started massaging it into Dean’s hair. Dean sighed and let his head roll back to give Cas better access.

‘You like being pampered.’

“Mmmmm. Either that or I just like you touching me.”

Cas snorted, then he grabbed the shower head and started rinsing out Dean’s hair. He gently massaged Dean’s scalp as he rid it of the shampoo. Cas rinsed himself off, then turned off the water. 

Cas stepped out of the shower, handing a towel to Dean as he dried himself off.

“That felt amazing, Cas.” Dean said as he dried off.

Cas smiled softly. ‘I’m glad you liked it.’ He leaned closer to Dean, kissing him. ‘Let’s go get in bed so I can make you feel even better.’

“I’m not ready to bottom yet.” Dean said nervously.

Cas gently ran his hand over Dean’s chest to his shoulder. ‘I know. I’ll only use my fingers. I just want you to know how good it feels.’ He said as he ran his hand down Dean’s arm and laced their fingers together.

Dean nodded. “Ok. We’ve got lube, right?”

Cas snorted as he guided Dean to the bedroom. ‘Of course we have lube. I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t prepared.’

Cas guided Dean over to the bed and pressed on his chest until he laid down. ‘Relax. I promise I’ll make it feel good.’ He said before kissing Dean softly, then slowly kissing down his body. He ran his tongue up Dean’s length, then took the head into his mouth, sucking and pulling off with a pop. 

Cas gently ran his hand over Dean’s stomach. ‘I’ll touch you like I did in the shower before I do anything. I’m not going to surprise you, ok?’

Dean nodded. “I trust you. I’m just nervous.”

Cas caressed Dean’s stomach and chest as he kissed from his belly button to his cock. ‘It’s ok to be nervous, but I promise you’ll enjoy it. If you don’t, just say the word and I’ll stop.’

“Ok.”

Cas smiled and kissed the top of Dean’s cock. ‘I love you.’ He said before taking Dean into his throat.

“I love you tooooooo. Oh fuck.”

Cas glanced up at Dean as he bobbed his head. He brought one hand to his balls, massaging them, the other hand placed firmly on Dean’s abdomen to keep him from thrusting. Cas took Dean deep in his throat and swallowed as he ran a finger over his entrance.

Dean moaned and tangled his fingers in Cas’ hair. “Fuck.”

Cas bobbed his head as he applied a little pressure with his finger. He reached for the lube with his other hand, then pulled back and applied some to his fingers. He ran his finger over Dean’s hole as he licked and sucked on Dean’s balls. He glanced up at Dean as he pushed a finger into him.

‘Doing ok?’

Dean swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s hip as he thrust his finger into him. Dean moaned and pushed back against Cas’ finger. Cas slowly added a second finger, pushing them completely into Dean.

“Fuck...Cas…”

‘Is it uncomfortable or does it feel good?’

“Good, but weird.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s hip as he thrust his fingers into him. He smirked and curled his fingers, hitting Dean’s spot. Dean cried out and clutched the sheets.

“Fuck! Do that again!”

Cas thrust his fingers hard against Dean’s spot as he swallowed his length. Dean cried out in pure bliss as he came down Cas’ throat. Cas rubbed Dean’s prostate and swallowed, milking every drop out of him.

Dean collapsed onto the bed, panting as he ran his fingers through Cas’ hair. “Son of a bitch.”

Cas pulled off of Dean with a pop, then licked him clean. ‘Did you enjoy that?’

Dean tangled his fingers in Cas’ hair, pulling him up and kissing him deeply. “That was fucking awesome, Cas.”

Cas smiled and snuggled close to Dean. ‘I told you that you’d enjoy it.’

Dean turned his head as he lifted Cas’ chin, then kissed him softly. “You did. I should have listened. It was amazing. Thank you. I love you.” He said through a yawn.

Cas smiled and tucked his head under Dean’s chin. ‘You’re welcome. I love you, too. Now get some sleep.’


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean enjoy their first date at the festival, which ends in sexy time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Cas smirked when he saw the Ferris wheel. He grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him over to it, handing tickets to the guy running the ride. 

Dean looked at Cas once they sat in their basket. “You must really like these things.”

Cas leaned close to Dean’s ear. ‘I’ve always wanted to have fun on one.’ He whispered as he took Dean’s hand in his and brought it to his dick.

Dean’s eyes widened and he looked around. “Someone could see us.”

Cas raised an eyebrow. ‘Nobody’s going to see what your hand is doing.’

“Someone might hear.”

Cas gave Dean a skeptical look. ‘Someone is going to hear  _ me _ over all this noise? Seriously?’ Cas kissed Dean’s neck. ‘Please, Dean. I  _ need _ you.’

“I don’t want us to get kicked out.”

Cas sighed and turned so he was facing forward. ‘Sorry.’

Dean sighed. “Don’t be sorry, Angel. It’s ok. We can have fun later.” Cas looked down sadly. “Ok?”

“Cas?”

“Cas, I’m sorry. I’m just not comfortable doing that right now.”

Dean ran his hand over his face.

Cas got off the ride as soon as it stopped, pulling his hand from Dean’s when he tried to hold it. Dean grabbed his arm when he started to walk away.

“Cas? Where are you going?”

Cas pulled out his phone.  _ Home. _

“Angel, please, don’t go home. We just got here. It’s our first real date.”

_ But I need you right now and you won’t help me. _

“No, Angel, let's go again when it gets darker. There were too many kids in the other baskets and they were watching us. I can take my flannel off and we can use it to cover up.”

Cas sniffled and wiped at his eyes before slowly looking up at Dean.

“Please, Angel?”

Cas chewed on his lip, then nodded slowly.  _ “But I need you now. Can we go in the fun house or something?” _

“There’s too many little kids around, Cas.”

_ “Then let’s go to Baby.” _

Dean sighed. “It’s too busy right now.”

Cas pulled at his hair as he blinked back tears.  _ “You don’t understand! I need this! Nobody understands! Balth didn’t understand! Please don’t be like him!” _

Dean grabbed Cas’ hands. “Ok. Calm down, Angel. We’ll go on the Ferris wheel, but if I think we’re about to get caught, my hand is going on top of the flannel, ok?”

Cas took a shaky breath and nodded.

Dean caressed Cas’ cheek and kissed him softly. “I’m gonna take care of you.” He said as he took Cas back to the Ferris wheel and handed over the tickets. He pulled his flannel off and sat in the basket next to Cas, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. 

Cas shifted and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. ‘I love you.’

“I love you too, Angel.” Dean said as he pulled his arm from around Cas. He situated the flannel then undid Cas’ pants enough to slip his hand inside and stroke him.

Cas’ breathing hitched and he kissed Dean’s neck. Cas turned Dean’s face to his, kissing him as he moaned softly. 

Dean pulled back enough to part their lips. “This what you needed?”

Cas nodded a little. ‘Yeah. Thank you for understanding.’

Dean nipped at Cas’ lower lip as he stroked him harder. “I still don’t understand, Angel, but I want to.”

Cas buried his face in Dean’s shoulder as he moaned. ‘Fuck. Like that.’

Dean stroked Cas harder and faster as they reached the top of the ride. Cas moaned and bit Dean’s shoulder as his orgasm washed over him. 

“Feel better?”

Cas nodded and brought Dean’s hand to his mouth, licking it clean. ‘Thank you.’

Dean fixed Cas’ pants and kissed him softly. “You’re welcome. Maybe you can try to explain this to me later tonight?” Cas nodded. 

They circled the ride a few more times before it stopped with their basket at the bottom. Cas got up, pulling Dean up as he smiled.  _ “Funnel cake?” _

Dean laughed and walked with Cas. Cas stopped at a booth where you’d kick a soccer ball through a hole barely big enough for it to fit. He glanced at Dean with a smirk.

“What? You think you can make that? You know it’s rigged, right?”

Cas eyed the ball and then the hole.  _ “I can make it.” _

Dean chuckled. “Ok.” He handed tickets over to the vendor, who said Cas had three tries.

Cas snorted.  _ “Only need one.” _ He stretched a few times then did some practice kicks. He eyed the ball and the hole again then lined up and kicked, making the ball go through the hole.

Cas glanced at Dean and snort laughed at his expression and the vendors. He looked up at a rather large blue bear with angel wings and a halo and smirked, pointing at it. The vendor pulled it down, handing it to Cas. Cas turned and handed it to Dean.  _ “An angel from your Angel.” _

Dean kissed Cas softly. “That was fucking amazing, Cas. I’ve never seen anyone do it with the regular ball.”

Cas shrugged.  _ “I’ve always been good at soccer. You’re probably the same with baseball.” _

Dean laughed. “I don’t think I could throw a baseball through a hole, but I can definitely knock down milk bottles.”

_ “Funnel cake!”  _ Cas ran over to the food stand.

Dean shook his head and started to follow. 

“Nice bear.”

Dean turned and looked at Sam, who was looking him over with a smirk. “Thanks. Cas just won it for me.”

Sam glanced around. “So where is this incredibly hot boyfriend you won’t shut up about?”

Dean opened his mouth to reply as Cas walked back over to him and shoved some funnel cake into his mouth. Cas snorted at the powdered sugar on Dean’s lips then leaned in, licking it off and kissing Dean, pushing his tongue into his mouth before pulling away.

Dean blushed and cleared his throat. “Uh, Cas, meet Sammy. Sammy, this is Cas.”

Cas’ eyes widened and he glanced over at Sam.

“It’s Sam.” Sam said with an eye roll. “Nice to meet you.”

Cas smiled and waved.  _ “I thought you said he’s your little brother.” _

“Dude, shut up.” Dean said with a laugh.

“What? What did he say.”

Dean chuckled. “He said, nice to meet you.”

_ “No I didn’t!”  _ Cas pulled out his phone and raised his eyebrow as he wiggled his finger.

Dean sighed dramatically. “Fine, he actually said, 'I thought you said he was your little brother' you sasquatch.”

Cas snorted while Sam laughed. 

Dean kissed Cas softly. “Ok smarty pants, he is my YOUNGER brother.”

“I like him. He keeps you in line.”

“Great. Like I need anyone else keeping me in line. I've already got you, Bobby and Jody riding me. That's it, Sammy, I'm getting rid of you. First in, first out.” Dean said with a laugh.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Speaking of Bobby and Jody.....” Sam said as he eyed Cas. “When are they gonna meet Cas?”

Cas looked at Dean, who rubbed the back of his neck. “Uhhhh, Thanksgiving? If that's ok with you, Angel.”

“Angel?”

“Yeah, you got a problem with that? You may be a giant, but I can still kick your butt.”

Sam laughed. “Nope, no problem. I just think it's cute, that's all.”

_ “Well, I am named after an angel.” _

“I know. The angel of Thursday.” Cas looked at Dean with wide eyes, then kissed him deeply. Dean pulled away, laughing. “What? You thought I didn’t know?”

_ “Nobody ever does!” _

“With brothers named Gabriel and Michael I had a feeling there was a theme.”

Cas snorted.  _ “Mike has a twin named Lucifer. We call him Luke. Gabe calls him Luci.” _

Dean threw back his head and laughed. “Really? Oh my god. That’s hilarious.”

Sam frowned. “Hey, I feel like I'm listening in to one half of a phone conversation.”

“Cas didn’t think I’d know he’s named after the angel of Thursday. But he just told me he has another brother named Lucifer, bitch.”

Cas smacked Dean’s arm.  _ “Be nice.” _

“He told me to be nice.”

Sam chuckled. “That is being nice. If he didn't call me a bitch and I didn't respond with jerk, there'd be something wrong. Right, jerk?”

“Yup, bitch.”

Cas eyed both of them and shook his head.

Sam looked over his shoulder when one of his friends yelled for him. “I gotta go. It was nice meeting you, Cas. See you at Thanksgiving, right Dean?”

“Yeah, yeah. Get out of here.” Dean shook his head as Sam ran off, then looked at Cas. “So, That was Sammy.”

_ “He seems nice.” _

“He’s a good kid.” Dean said as he pulled off some funnel cake and ate it. 

_ “Sorry about kissing you like that in front of him.” _

Dean chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. He’ll have to get used to it one way or another, cause I’m not letting you go anytime soon.”

Cas smiled shyly as he ate some funnel cake.  _ “Are you going to win me a prize? You said you can knock down the milk bottles.” _

Dean kissed Cas softly. “Of course I’m gonna win you something, Angel. We just have to find that booth.”

Cas pointed toward where it was set up and Dean looked. He took Cas’ hand in his own and walked over to the booth. Dean couldn’t help but notice how Cas’ eyes immediately looked at a giant plush bee.

“What do I have to do to win one of the big ones?”

“Knock down all three stacks with just three balls.”

Dean handed over the tickets. “I think I can do that.”

“If not, then we need a new pitcher, Winchester.” The guy said with a laugh as he handed the balls to Dean.

Dean tapped his lips as he smirked at Cas. “Kiss for good luck?”

Cas rolled his eyes and kissed Dean.  _ “I didn’t need good luck.” _

“Maybe I just wanted a kiss.” Dean said with a wink. He tossed a ball in the air, catching it, then threw it, knocking down the first stack. He did the same with the other two, then smirked. “The big ass bee.”

The guy got it down and handed it to Dean, who handed it to Cas. Cas hugged it close with a smile. 

_ “You’re my honeybee.” _

“Oh, I am, am I?”

Cas nodded and kissed Dean softly. ‘I love you.’

“I love you, too.” Dean mumbled against Cas’ lips.

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair as he moved his mouth closer to his ear. ‘We should go home and have fun.’

Dean ran his hand down Cas’ back to his ass. “You’re ready for the date to end?”

Cas nibbled on Dean’s earlobe. ‘Only this part.’

Dean kissed Cas softly. “Hold on. Sammy!” Dean yelled before sprinting over to his brother and handing him the left over tickets and some extra cash. He ran back over to Cas, wrapping his arm around him. “Let’s go home.”

Cas smiled and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder as they walked back to Baby. He got into the car, smiling at Dean when he slid in beside him. ‘I love you.’

Dean leaned over, kissing Cas. “I love you, too.”

Cas smiled and watched Dean as he drove them back to the house. 

Dean got out of the car, hurrying to Cas’ side and opening the door for him. Cas smiled softly as he got out. ‘Such a gentleman.’

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas. “Only for you,” he said as he walked with him into the house. He took Cas up to the bedroom and took the stuffed animals from him, then set them on his desk. “So, how do you want this?”

Cas sat on the bed and shrugged. ‘I just need you.’

Dean pulled some rope from his drawer and shoved it in his pocket. He walked over to the bed and pulled Cas’ shirt off of him. “What does it feel like when you need me?”

Cas shrugged. ‘I’m not sure how to explain it. I just know I need you right now.’

Dean pushed Cas back on the bed, getting him where he wanted him. He straddled Cas’ stomach and grabbed one wrist. He pulled a length of rope from his pocket, wrapping it around his wrist, then brought it to the headboard and secured it. “Is it the same feeling you got with the Ferris wheel?”

Cas watched Dean tie one wrist and then the other. He licked his lips and nodded. ‘Yeah.’

“Try to explain it.”

Cas tested the ropes. ‘It’s...it’s kind of like having an itch you can’t scratch. But...sometimes it hurts.’

Dean ran his hands over Cas’ chest. “How does it feel right now?”

Cas chewed on his lip as he tried to arch into the touch. ‘It hurts cause I need you so bad.’

Dean got off of Cas and removed all his clothes before straddling Cas’ stomach again. He stroked himself and smirked when Cas watched and licked his lips. “You need this?”

Cas nodded frantically. ‘Please, Dean. I need you inside me.’

Dean ran his fingers over Cas’ lips. “In your mouth or ass?”

‘Both. Use me, Dean. I need you to use me.’

“What if I just want to use your pretty little mouth?”

‘Then I’d say you should fuck my throat.’

Dean’s eyebrows shot up and he ran his fingers over Cas’ throat. “Won’t that hurt?”

Cas shrugged and opened his mouth. Dean shifted, pushing his cock into Cas’ mouth. “Open and close your hand three times if you need me to stop. Do it now so I can see it.” Cas did as he was told. “Good.”

Dean held the back of Cas’ head as he pushed until he felt Cas’ nose pressed into his groin. Cas gagged and started to turn his head, then swallowed. He blinked back tears. Dean felt Cas tensing and saw his hand about to open. He held Cas’ hair as he pulled completely out.

Cas sucked in air, then coughed as Dean wiped away his tears. “That what you’re wanting, Angel?”

‘Yeah.’

“Does it hurt your vocal cords?”

Cas glanced away. ‘It’s uncomfortable, but it doesn’t hurt.’

“But if I fuck your throat, it will.” Cas sighed and nodded. “I’ll fuck your mouth, but I’m only using your throat like I just did. I’m not messing up your voice even more, ok?”

‘Ok.’ 

Dean held Cas’ head as he pushed into his mouth. He thrust hard into Cas’ mouth, making him gag and tear up. Dean pulled out, letting Cas breathe, then pushed back in.

“Relax.”

Dean slowly pushed deep into Cas’ throat. He kept his eyes on Cas until Cas squeezed his shut. Dean carefully pulled out, allowing Cas to suck in a breath.

Dean held his dick to Cas’ lips. “Do that again.”

Cas opened his mouth and Dean pushed all the way into his throat. Dean ran his fingers over Cas’ stretched lips. 

“So fucking hot, Angel.”

Dean slowly pulled out of Cas’ mouth when he started to turn his head. He gently wiped away Cas’ tears as he sucked in deep breaths.

“Think you can do that again?”

‘Yeah.’

Dean tapped his dick against Cas’ lips, then pushed inside when Cas opened his mouth. Cas started bobbing his head and Dean grabbed the back of his head, stopping him.

“I told you I’m not fucking your throat, Cas. I’m not hurting you. Swallow if you want me to stay in your throat.

Cas swallowed as he kept his eyes locked on Dean’s. Dean moaned so Cas swallowed again. Dean slowly pulled back and ran his fingers over Cas’ lips.

“Is that better?” Cas swallowed and nodded. “Can you explain what you need or why you need it?”

‘No, I don't know why. I just need you.’

“You need me or will anyone work?”

‘You. I only need you.’

Dean shifted and kissed Cas softly. “I only need you, too.”

Dean kissed Cas deeply. When he pulled back, he slipped a tie over Cas’ eyes. Cas squirmed as he chewed on his lip. 

“Is that ok?”

‘Yeah.’

Dean kissed, licked, and nipped at Cas’ torso. At first, he worked his way down his body, then he chose random spots. Dean paid special attention to Cas’ nipples, nipping and sucking at them until Cas was a moaning mess. He undid Cas’ pants, slowly pulling them and his boxers off as he followed them with his lips and teeth.

Dean pulled back, watching Cas’ chest rise and fall as he breathed heavily. He smirked as he strapped a finger vibrator onto his hand. The hollow silicone dick of the vibrator allowed him to slip two fingers inside. The silicone covering his palm had texture so Cas would get pleasure from being stroked or fingered. 

Dean applied lube to the vibrator, then ran it over Cas’ cock, without turning it on. Cas’ breath hitched and he squirmed.

“I know you have some toys. I hope you like this one. I bought it just for you.”

Dean watched as a shudder ran through Cas’ body. He turned on the vibrator, then took Cas into his hand, stroking him. Cas’ hips arched off the bed and into Dean’s touch. “Dean…” he managed to push out.

Dean smirked as he stroked Cas more. “I think you like it.” 

Cas bit his lip as his hips rocked into Dean’s hand. He groaned when Dean pulled his hand away. “Not yet, Angel. I have more fun planned and I want us to cum together, ok?”

‘Ok.’

“So glad you agree.” Dean said as he put a cock ring on Cas and turned it’s vibrator on. Cas’ hips bucked off the bed and he pulled on the restraints. Dean took Cas’ cock in his bare hand, stroking it a few times before holding it and running his tongue up his length. Cas gasped as his hips bucked again.

Dean drizzled some lube on Cas’ hole and ran his bare fingers through it. He pushed one in, then two, thrusting them deep into Cas. He scissored his fingers a few times, then pulled them out, replacing them with the fingers inside the vibrator.

Cas gasped and arched off the bed, then tried to push back against the vibrator. Dean pushed Cas’ hips down, then thrust the vibrator deep and hard into Cas. Cas bit his lip and moaned as he tugged hard on the ropes. Dean smirked as he hooked his fingers, pressing the vibrations against Cas’ prostate.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…’ “Dean…” Cas groaned.

“Yes?” Dean asked with a bigger smirk as he pressed harder.

‘I need...I need you. I love you so much, Dean. Please, I need you.’

Dean kissed Cas softly as he pulled the vibrator out of him. “How could I ever say no to that?” He asked as he lubed up his cock and pushed deep into Cas.

Cas moaned and wrapped his legs around Dean. ‘Don’t ever say no. Please, I love you too much.’

Dean kissed Cas softly as he pushed the tie away from his eyes. He slowly pulled back and smiled as Cas blinked, then looked up at him. “I had to see your beautiful blue eyes, Angel.”

Cas smiled softly, then moaned when Dean started thrusting into him. He tugged at the rope as he tightened his legs around Dean. 

“Not so tight, Cas. I can barely move.” Cas groaned as he loosened his hold. Dean kissed Cas softly. “I’ll make you feel good. I promise. You can squeeze me all you want after that.”

Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. ‘Ok.’

Dean sucked on Cas’ neck as he thrust deep and hard into him. He kissed down Cas’ chest to his nipple, tugging on it as he hit his spot. Cas cried out and tugged hard on the ropes as his legs tightened around Dean.

Dean grabbed one of Cas’ legs, pushing it so it hooked over his shoulder. He thrust harder against Cas’ spot as he nipped at Cas’ lips. 

‘Please, Dean. Please. I need...oh fuck…’ “Fuck…please…”

Dean thrust harder against Cas’ spot as he pulled the cock ring off of him. Cas cried out as his orgasm exploded from him. Dean thrust hard against Cas’ spot, crying out as he filled him. He collapsed on top of Cas, breathing heavily into his chest.

‘Dean…’

“Yeah, Cas?” Dean mumbled.

‘Rope.’

Dean slowly shifted and undid Cas’ hands. Cas grabbed Dean’s face, kissing him deeply as he licked into his mouth. One hand tangled in Dean’s hair as the other clawed at his back.

Dean slowly pulled back with a chuckled. “Bet you were dying to do that.”

‘I was.’

Dean shifted and took Cas’ wrists in his hands, gently rubbing the marks the ropes left behind. “I love you.”

Cas smiled. ‘I know. You keep showing me.’

“What do you mean?”

‘You show me every time we have sex.’

“So, when you want sex you’re telling me you love me?”

Cas nodded. ‘Isn’t that what you’re doing?’

“Well, yeah. I mean I have sex with you because I love you, but I know you love me even when we aren’t having sex. You know I love you without the sex, right?”

Cas furrowed his brow. ‘Yes. But…’

“But you need me to show you I love you so you know for sure?”

Cas furrowed his brow more. ‘I…’ he slowly looked up at Dean. ‘I did. But you’re not him. You tell me all the time.’

Dean kissed Cas’ wrists. “And I’ll keep telling you all the time. I love you, Castiel Novak. I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”

Cas smiled. ‘I love you, too.’ He glanced around with a confused look on his face.

“What?”

‘Where’s the toy you used?’

Dean glanced around, then picked it up. “Did you like it? It looked like it’d be great for touching you and fingering you.”

‘Did I like it? What kind of question is that? It was fucking amazing. I’ve never had a toy feel so good.’

Dean smiled. “Awesome. I was hoping you’d like it. I’d never bought something like that before.”

Cas took the vibrator from Dean and tried it on. ‘Maybe one day I can use it on you.’

Dean kissed Cas softly. “One day.” He then jumped off the bed. “Shit. I almost forgot.” He hurried over to his open laptop and hit some keys.

‘What are you doing?’

“Stopping the recording.”

‘...The what?’

Dean glanced back over his shoulder at Cas with a smirk. “We just made a sex video.”

Cas got up and walked over to Dean, looking over his shoulder. ‘Seriously? You recorded us?’

“Yeah. If that’s not cool, then I’ll delete it.”

‘Don’t you dare. I want to watch it.’ Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, resting his chin on his shoulder as he watched what he was doing.

Dean smiled and ran a hand over Cas’ arm. “I like this.”

‘What?’

“Having you hold me close. How I was just dominant, but now you’re holding me like you are.” Dean turned in Cas’ arms, kissing him softly. “I like that I don’t always have to be the strong one around you. It’s nice.”

Cas ran his fingers up and down Dean’s spine. ‘You want me to be strong sometimes? Like, you’d like me to be in charge?’

Dean chuckled. “Angel, you’ve been in charge for a while. Haven’t you noticed? I mean, yeah, I’ve been the one fucking you, but you’ve been kinda calling the shots.”

Cas thought for a moment. ‘I hadn’t realized it.’

“I think you’re what they call a bossy bottom.” Dean said with a smirk.

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘Clearly you like it.’

Dean caressed Cas’ cheek. “I do and I’m sure I’ll like when you’re a bossy top, too. I’m just not ready for that yet.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean. ‘I know. If you want to try something like what we just did, I could always ride you.’

Dean glanced at the bed, then looked back at Cas. “That’d be pretty fucking hot.” Dean ran his hand over Cas’ chest. “I wish I’d known you years ago. I never would have wasted time with any girls.”

Cas pulled Dean’s lips to his own. ‘At least you’ve got me now.’ He mumbled against them before kissing Dean deeply. Dean tangled his fingers in Cas’ hair as he parted his lips, allowing Cas to explore his mouth. He moaned into the kiss as he ran his hand down to Cas’ ass and squeezed his cheek.

Cas slowly pulled back. He smiled at Dean as he licked his lips. ‘I love you, Honeybee.’

“I love you too, Angel.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas meets the family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Cas glanced over at Dean when they pulled up at Bobby’s house. ‘What if they don’t like me?’

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cas. They’ll love you.”

Cas chewed on his lip as he glanced from the house to Dean. ‘I’ve never met the family before. I mean, I knew Balth’s family, but they just thought I was a friend. Are you sure it’s ok for them to know the truth?’

Dean caressed Cas’ cheek and kissed him softly. “Of course it’s alright. I want them to know you and I want them to know we’re dating. Sammy already likes you. Bobby and Jody are gonna love you because I love you.”

Cas sighed. ‘Ok.’

“Now come on. I’ve got a brisket smoking and I’ve got a turkey to fry.”

Cas took a deep breath and nodded. ‘Ok.’

Dean smiled and got out of the car, taking Cas’ hand when they met in front of Baby. He kissed Cas softly and squeezed his hand. “They’re gonna love you.”

Cas nodded and walked inside with Dean.

“Sammy?! Bobby?! I’m back!”

“Don’t mean you have to yell across the house, ya idjit.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He walked with Cas to the room Bobby was in. “Bobby, Jody, I’d like you to meet Cas. Cas, this is Bobby and Jody.”

Cas smiled and waved.  _ “Nice to meet you.” _

“He says it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Cas. You look familiar. Wait, Castiel Novak. You were attacked over the summer.”

Cas chewed on his lip and nodded.

“I was one of the officers on your case. I’m guessing the damage wasn’t temporary.”

“Jody!” Cas placed his hand on Dean’s arm and shook his head.

_ “It’s ok. Tell her it is, but it hurts to use my voice so I don’t.” _

“It hurts when he tries to talk so he doesn’t do it and I don’t want him using his voice if it hurts. We communicate just fine without him talking.”

Cas smiled and leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder as he stroked his arm.

Dean kissed the top of Cas' head, "Want a tour of the place, Angel?" Cas nodded. They started in the living room, and wandered from room to room, with Dean telling Cas stories about life at Bobby's, both before and after the death of his mother.

"And, this was my room," he said, as he closed the door to steal a kiss.

'I thought you had cooking to do, Honeybee.' Cas slipped his arms around Dean, holding him in place.

Dean kissed Cas again, "The brisket will be fine, but I should get the oil going for the turkey. Want to help me, Angel?" 

Cas nodded. ‘Are we able to be like this in front of them?’ 

“Of course. I want them to know how much I love you.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean softly. ‘Let’s go take care of that turkey. So how do I help? I’ve never done this before.’

“Well, we gotta heat the oil and cook it outside. The oil tends to splatter and Bobby’d kill me if I burnt his house down.

Cas eyed Dean nervously. ‘That sounds dangerous.’

“It can be, but I’ve made them before and I’m very careful.” Dean said with a shrug.

‘Then maybe I should just watch so I don’t mess it up.’

Dean shook his head. “You don't have to worry about messing anything up, as long as you do what I tell you, Angel.”

Cas chewed on his lower lip, then sighed. ‘Ok, but if anything catches fire, it’s not my fault.’

Dean kissed Cas, sucking on his lip and then chuckled.   
“I promise, nothing will catch fire, but if it does, I won't throw you under the bus.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s lower lip. ‘You keep kissing me like that and we’ll never leave this room.’

Dean thought for a minute and sighed. “As tempting as that is, and as you are, if we don't head back down soon, Sammy'll come beating down the door wanting fed.” Dean kissed Cas lightly on the cheek. “In case I forget to tell you later, I'm thankful that you're here with me today. Everyday.”

Cas smiled and caressed Dean’s cheek. ‘I’m thankful that I have you in my life.’

They headed downstairs in time to hear Sam complain about the food. “Seriously, Bobby? A bunch of meat and a ton of carbs?”

“Boy, don't you start.”

Cas glanced from Dean to Sam, then back to Dean with a questioning look.

Dean shrugged and shook his head. “Sammy, what's your problem with my cooking now?”

“It’s all meat and starches and don’t try that “corn is a vegetable” thing. Corn and potatoes are starches, Dean. Where’s the vegetables?” 

Cas shook his head and glanced at Dean.  _ “He's right, Dean. Corn and potatoes are both starches and it looks like you have dinner rolls too.” _

“Who's side are you on?” Dean asked with a laugh.

Sam snickered. “I bet Cas is a salad guy. You should add a salad.”

_ “I do like salads.” _

“Where are we gonna get a salad on Thanksgiving?

“Well, Wal-Mart  _ is _ open, but stop your belly-aching. I brought a salad. Sam's not the only one that knew you'd forget about a vegetable.” Jody said as she entered the room.

Sam grinned “You’re gonna have to eat salad, Dean.” Cas glanced at Dean with his brow raised.

“I can’t live on rabbit food. I’m a warrior.”

Cas rolled his eyes and gently patted Dean’s cheek. _ “I know you’re a big tough warrior, but if you eat your salad I’ll blow you and let you fuck me.” _

Sam coughed and beat on his chest. “Sorry. Something got stuck in my throat.”

_ “That sounds fucking fantastic, Angel.”  _ Dean sighed. “Yes, I'll eat my damned salad. Let's go get that oil started before I get roped into something worse, like Brussels sprouts.”

_ “I love Brussels sprouts.” _

“Dear, God! Why do I love you again?”

Cas shrugged.  _ “Because I’m a good fuck?” _

Dean caressed Cas’ cheek. “Angel, you know it's more than that. Don't ever think that's the only thing I want. You are brilliant and handsome and funny and kind and generous. You are nearly perfect. If it weren't for the damn vegetables....”

Cas blushed and glanced around at everyone before hiding his face in Dean’s chest.

Dean grabbed their jackets and ushered Cas outside to a pot of oil above a propane burner, which was sitting on a large piece of cardboard.

'Thank you, Honeybee.'

“For getting you out of the house?”

'For loving me.'

Dean kissed Cas softly. “I’ll always love you, Angel.”

Dean grabbed a stick lighter from his coat pocket and told Cas to turn the valve fully open on the propane tank and step back. Cas did as instructed as Dean crouched down and lit the burner. He adjusted the flame and made sure the thermometer attached to the side of the pot was in the oil.

“Perfect. Great job. Now we just need to let it heat up. Let's check on the brisket, then go inside and make sure the turkey is ready to go in.”

‘That wasn’t too hard.’ Cas glanced over at the smoker and inhaled deeply. ‘It smells amazing.’

Dean smirked. “Almost done. About the time we drop the turkey in, the brisket should be ready to come off the heat to rest.”

Cas inhaled again. ‘Does your brisket have a nice crust on it and is juicy inside?’

“Of course, Angel. I wouldn't serve it any other way.”

‘The crust is the best part. I can’t wait to try it.’

Dean pulled out his knife and sliced a chunk of the crust off the end and broke it in half, popped half in his mouth and handed half to Cas. “Quality control”

Cas smiled and popped the piece in his mouth, moaning sinfully at how delicious it was.

Dean smiled and nodded, knowingly. “Pass inspection, Angel?”

Cas nodded. ‘That’s amazing.’ Cas said before he licked his fingers. ‘I think it’s even better than the ones my grandpa made and he was from Texas.’

“That's some high praise. Let's get inside. Hopefully, Sammy will get the potatoes peeled and boiling while we handle the meat.” Cas kissed Dean softly, then took his hand and followed him inside.

Sam looked at them when they came in and pointed at a huge bowl of salad. “Look what you’re going to eat, Jerk.”

"Sam, lay off your brother. He said he'd eat his greens. Now, get peeling." Bobby said as he sat a bag of potatoes and a peeler in front of Sam and moved a bucket for the peels between his feet.

Sam snickered and started peeling. “Yeah, only because Cas is making him.”

“Whatever works, ya idjit!”

Cas glanced from Sam and Bobby to Dean.  _ "Is this normal? Calling each other idiots?" _

Dean laughed.  _ “I-d-j-i-t. Bobby calls everyone he cares about that.” _

_ "My family was always so formal, especially at holidays, except for Gabriel. There's no controlling him." _

Dean laughed and nodded. “Yeah, Gabe’s something else. I find it hard to believe Luke followed the rules.”

_ "Luke did as a kid, but once he got older, he didn't come by much. I don't think mother and father approved of his lifestyle. Too hedonist." _

“I’d bet.” Dean looked Cas over. “So is that why you’re dressed so nice? You were expecting this to be formal?”

Cas nodded and blushed.  _ "I feel overdressed and a little out of place." _

“I’ve got some clothes in my room if you want to change.”

_ "If that's Ok?" _

Dean nodded. “I want you to feel at home here too. Go on, Angel. I'll check on the bird and make sure it's ready for the fryer.” Dean kissed Cas on the cheek and swatted his butt to send him on his way upstairs.

Cas jumped a little and gave Dean a shy smile before going up to Dean’s room. He walked around the room looking at the mementos then looked in the closet and drawers. He pulled out a pair of jeans, removing his slacks and pulling them on then found a team sweatshirt with Dean’s name on if. He removed the button up and pulled the sweatshirt on. Finally he traded the dress shoes for a pair of Dean’s sneakers then ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up. Cas took a deep breath and felt more like himself. He walked back down the stairs, shyly looking for Dean.

Cas heard Sam and Dean talking in the kitchen. He knew he shouldn't eavesdrop, but he didn't want to interrupt the brothers. 

“It's so cool you learned asl for Cas.”

“Yeah. I don't want him to hurt to be able to talk to me and writing and texting is ok, but signing is better. I'd love to hear his voice sometimes though. But still, I don't want him hurting himself to do it.”

Cas wiped at his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He chewed on his lip and peeked into the room.

Dean looked up, noticing Cas' red-rimmed eyes. “Everything alright, Angel?”

Cas smiled and nodded, then stepped completely into the room.  _ “I hope this is ok.” _

_ "Beautiful." _

Cas blushed and shooed Dean.  _ “You don’t mind that I’m wearing your baseball sweatshirt do you?” _

Dean kissed Cas and gripped his hips. “I love seeing you in my clothes. I'm glad they fit.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s lower lip.  _ “Maybe I should keep it so you can see me in it more often.” _

Dean nuzzled Cas' neck and whispered in his ear. 'I want you to ride me while you wear that sweatshirt and nothing else.'

Cas’ breath hitched and he tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair, holding him in place. ‘I’d gladly ride your cock while I wear your shirt. I can practically feel you buried inside my ass right now.’

Dean shuddered with the jolt of lust that shot through him. He took a breath to gather himself. He gave Cas a nip on his ear and stepped back. “Damn. OK. Turkey. It's... um... it's ready to go in the fryer. Sammy, can you handle the potatoes and corn?”

“Yes, Dean. I'm not a child.”

“Good. Cas, get your coat on and hold the door for me.”

They put on their coats, then Dean grabbed a hook and used it to pick up the turkey, which was secured to a stand, and headed outside.

Cas smirked as he followed Dean. ‘Pants a little tight now? You seem to be walking funny.’

“Shuddap”

Cas snorted. ‘I’d take care of it for you if I could.’

“Later, Angel. We got hungry people to feed. I'm sure Ellen and Jo will be here soon and Rufus usually shows up right as the food hits the table, with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label, complaining that Bobby never buys the "good stuff".”

Cas fidgeted. ‘There’s more people coming?’

“You'll be fine. Ellen owns Harvelle's Roadhouse. Her husband, Bill, died a couple of years ago, but they've been friends of Bobby for years. Her daughter, Jo, is Sam's age and a little spitfire. Rufus is just another grumpy old man with no family and place to go for holidays, so he comes here and he and Bobby bitch about the good ol days.” Dean slowly lowered the turkey into the hot oil as he talked.

Cas chewed on his lip as he watched Dean. He could already feel his anxiety building.

They watched the oil bubble for a minute and once Dean was satisfied with the way it was cooking, he noted the time on his watch. They had about 45 minutes before it would be ready and they had to get the brisket out of the smoker.

“Come on. Let's get the brisket inside to rest, then we can go deal with those nerves you got bubbling up.”

Cas followed Dean inside, trying to act as normal as possible.

Dean checked the potatoes. “Sammy, those spuds will be ready to drain in five. Can you handle mashing them? Milk, butter, sour cream and chives like I showed you before. Salt and pepper to taste. And be sure to taste them.”

“Got it. What are you gonna do. Wait, never mind, I don't want to know.” Sam winked and smirked. “Just try to keep it down.”

Cas blushed and gripped his arm tightly.

“Shut up, bitch.”

“Whatever, jerk.”

Dean led Cas up to his bedroom, shut and locked the door. They laid down on the bed and kissed each other softly. “What do you need, Angel?”

Cas looked up at Dean.  _ “You.” _

“I don't think we have time to have sex, but, I think we can do this.” Dean reached for the fly of Cas' borrowed jeans and opened the button and zipper. Cas whimpered as he tried to grip his arm tighter through the sweatshirt.

Dean reached in and stroked Cas' rapidly hardening cock. “Love you, Cas, my Angel.”

Cas bit his lip and swallowed hard. “Need you.”

“I'm right here. Do you want to touch me too?”

Cas tugged at his hair as he squeezed his eyes shut. Dean shifted above Cas and tugged his jeans down his thighs. He slid his hand back behind Cas' balls and rubbed a finger against his hole.

Cas took a shaky breath and slowly opened his eyes to look at Dean. “Please.”

Dean slipped his hand back and put his fingers up to Cas' lips. “Get them wet for me, Angel. I don't have any lube here.” Cas sucked Dean’s fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the digits as he kept eye contact with Dean.

Dean rolled back over to Cas' side and stroked his cock with his free hand. When he felt his fingers were slick enough, he pulled them back and pressed his middle finger into Cas' hole gently. “You're always so tight, Angel. I love working you open.”

Cas moaned as his eyes fluttered. He reached for Dean, bringing their lips together. Cas pushed his tongue into Dean’s mouth as his nails scratched at his scalp. Dean moaned into the kiss, hands busy stroking and thrusting.

Cas’ tongue mapped out the inside of Dean’s mouth as his free hand fumbled to undo Dean’s pants then slipped inside, stroking him. Dean pulled out and slipped his index finger in, alongside his middle finger, then crooked them both to press against Cas' spot. Cas gasped into the kiss and arched his back with a moan.

Dean kissed across his cheek to nibble on Cas' ear. “That's it, Angel. Let yourself go. Fuck, your hand feels good on my cock.”

Cas stroked and squeezed Dean’s cock as he rocked his hips against his fingers. “N-need you.”

“Don't want to hurt you, Angel. I told you I don't have any lube here. I promise I'll fuck you silly when we get back the house tonight. Let me just take the edge off for now.”

Cas whimpered and let go of Dean, reaching for his pants. “W-wallet.”

Dean looked confused, but let go of Cas' cock and dug his wallet out of his back pocket. He opened it up, expecting to see a condom. “Angel, were you a boy scout? Because you're always prepared.”

He pulled the packet of lube from the cash slot, tossed the wallet on the floor and reached down to pull Cas' jeans the rest of the way off. “We gotta hurry though, Angel. Not much time left on that bird. I've never burnt one yet and I don't plan to start now.”

‘Don’t care. Just need you. Fuck me.’

Dean tore open the packet with his teeth and squirted its contents on his fingers. He thrust them inside his boyfriend's barely stretched hole. “Bossy bottom.” Dean said with a chuckle. After a few more moments of prep, Dean lined up his cock and pushed in with a low moan.

Cas’ eyes fluttered shut as he melted into the bed. ‘Fuck.’

Dean chuckled, “That's the plan, Angel.” 

He started to thrust slowly, but his desire for the beautiful man under him took over and Dean began thrusting faster and harder. “God, you feel good, Angel.”

Cas moaned and bit his lip as he wrapped his legs around Dean and rocked his hips hard, matching his thrusts.

“I'm so close. Cum with me.”

Cas nodded frantically as he rocked his hips harder. He wrapped his hand around his cock, gasping at how sensitive it was. Dean felt his balls tighten as his climax drew near. Cas clenched his hole as he got close. 

“Fuck, yeah, just like that, Angel. I'm... I'm…” Dean watched Cas throw his head back in ecstasy as their orgasms rocked through their bodies at the same time.

Cas collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavily as he looked up at Dean through heavy lids. Dean pulled out and slid off to Cas' side, carefully avoiding the cum on his belly. He leaned in and kissed Cas softly.

“Let me get something to clean you up, then we gotta go check the turkey.” He looked at the sated smile on Cas' face and sighed. “Next time, we cuddle after, I promise.”

Cas caressed Dean’s cheek. ‘I knew there wasn’t time for cuddles. I just needed you.’ He leaned up and kissed Dean softly. ‘Go check on the turkey. I can clean up.’

“You sure, Angel?”

‘Can’t let it burn because of me.’

Dean grabbed an old shirt from the dresser, wiped himself off and handed the shirt to Cas. He tucked himself away, leaned over to kiss Cas one more time before heading out to check the food. “Love you, Angel. See you downstairs in a few.”

Cas sighed and wiped off his stomach then cleaned off his ass. He glanced around and picked up his boxers and Dean’s jeans, pulling them both on. He looked around on the floor until he spotted his wallet and picked it up and slid it in his back pocket. Cas pulled Dean’s shoes back on then rubbed his face before slowly heading for the stairs.

Dean snuck up behind Cas before he reached the stairs. He slid his arms around Cas' waist and kissed the back of his neck. “I'm sorry, Angel. I got halfway to the stairs and realized I was being an ass. Let the turkey burn. Serves everyone right for depending on a teenager to make Thanksgiving dinner. Forgive me?

Cas sighed. ‘You can’t let it burn.’

“Come with me and we'll check on it together. Please, Angel?”

Cas nodded. ‘Ok.’

Cas walked out to the fryer with Dean and sat on a chair nearby as Dean did what he needed to. He chewed on his lip then sighed. ‘It made me think of Balth.’

Dean stopped what he was doing and looked at Cas. “What?”

‘Not the sex. That was amazing. It was you not listening to what I needed and making this,’ He said as he gestured at the fryer, ‘more important than me.’

Dean set down the meat thermometer and walked over to Cas. He crouched down in front of his boyfriend and put his hands on Cas' thighs. “Cas, you are always going to be the most important person in my life. You are more important than anyone or anything.” 

Dean sighed and looked into Cas' bright blue eyes. “I'm a simple man, Angel. I take people for their word. If I'm doing something that hurts you, you gotta tell me.”

Cas looked down and rubbed at his arm. ‘I was trying to tell you how bad I needed you, but I couldn’t even do that. How was I supposed to say shut up about the damn turkey and just fuck me?’

“OK, I get that. Of course, you could have just said that.” Cas smiled a little and shook his head. “I promise I will work on trying to figure out what you mean, if you promise to work on saying what you mean and 'telling' me what you need.”

‘In all fairness, I thought I was pretty clear in the beginning. You asked me what I needed and I said you.’

Dean laughed. “Yes, you did and I was right there. I hope I gave you what you needed. And I did offer to clean you up before WE came to check the bird and you told me to go. And I promised cuddles next time.”

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘"You" meant for you to fuck me. You did give me what I needed. If you hadn’t, I’d still be a mess.’ Cas sighed. ‘I told you to check on it because I didn’t want it to be my fault if the turkey burned. I didn’t want to ruin your family’s Thanksgiving.’

Dean kissed Cas softly and stood, pulling Cas up into an embrace. “Angel, this ragtag family has been through so much worse than a burnt turkey. The first year without mom, we all got food poisoning from an undercooked turkey. I'll take extra crispy over puking my guts up any day of the week.”

Cas leaned against Dean, hugging him tightly. ‘I just want them to like me. I don’t want them to make you not want me anymore.’

“First off, no one could ever make me not like you. I'm not going anywhere. Secondly, if they don't like you for distracting me from a stupid turkey, then they can just fuck off.”

Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. ‘I know. He just screwed me up really bad.’

“I know, Angel. I might punch him, just on principle.” Dean kissed the top of Cas' head, gave him another quick squeeze, then released him as he turned back to the deep fryer. He checked the temperature on the turkey and it was just perfect. “Time to pull it out, Angel. Do me a favor and grab that tray and hold it tight." Dean turned off the propane, put on his oven mitts and hooked the top of the stand with the lifting hook.”

Cas held the tray and nodded at Dean that he was ready. Dean pulled the turkey up, out of the oil, looked at it and saw the skin was a perfect golden brown. Smiling, he carefully set the turkey on the tray and unhooked it. Cas bore the weight with ease until Dean was able to take the tray from him. 

“OK, got it. Go get the door for me, sexy.” Cas rushed ahead of Dean and opened the door. “A culinary success for the incredible Dean Winchester and the amazing Castiel Novak!” Dean exclaimed as he entered the kitchen.

Cas rolled his eyes and shook his head. Sam glanced up from what he was doing. “Bobby was about to send Jo out to make sure you weren’t fooling around out there and letting it burn.”

“I am offended that you would think that Cas would ever let me get so distracted by his sexiness that I would let your precious food burn. Aren't you offended, Angel?”

Cas snorted then straightened his face and deadpanned.  _ “Deeply.” _

Sam rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You know you were distracted earlier.”

Dean put the tray on the counter to let the turkey rest while he checked on the side dishes the others prepared. “Seriously, Sam, I can be completely distracted by this wonderful person and still prepare the perfect Thanksgiving dinner. I am the king of multitasking.”

Cas buried his face in the back of Dean’s shoulder as he blushed from all the complements.

“Only because it’s food, and meat.”

Dean turned to face Cas. “OK, I'll try to stop embarrassing you. But you are sexy and very distracting, not that I mind.”

Cas smiled shyly. _ “So are you.” _

Dean kissed Cas on the nose, then started putting the turkey and brisket on their respective serving platters. Cas smiled and sat at the table, watching Dean.

Jo ran into the room, jumping on Dean’s back. “Heard you’re in looooooove.”

“Oof! Jo! Get off me, you little leach!”

Jo dropped down from Dean's back and pouted. “Spoil sport.”

“Jo, this is Castiel, my boyfriend. Angel, this little hellraiser is Jo Harvelle.”

Jo’s eyebrows shot to her forehead as she looked over at Cas, who waved. “Boyfriend? When they said Cas I was thinking it was short for Cassidy or Cassandra or something. I was definitely expecting big boobs.” Cas chewed on his lip and messed with the napkin in front of him.

“I have never gone after big boobs.”

Jo rolled her eyes. “Oh please. Rhonda shows hers off all the time. And what was the other one’s name? The one that tried to say she was pregnant. Lydia?” Cas crumpled the napkin in his hand.

“When I went out with Rhonda, she was flat as a board. And Lydia, that girl was nuts and a stalker. We had sex one time, with a condom, and I didn't even get off.”

Jo rolled her eyes. “Yeah, Rhonda was flat when you dated her for like, a month in Junior High. But she wasn’t flat last year when you were with her. And you were with Lydia for a few months, Dean.” Cas got up and walked out the back door, letting it slam shut.

“Jesus, Jo. What the fuck?” Dean ran out the door after Cas. “Angel! Wait!”

Cas stopped where he was and hugged himself tightly and he kept his head bowed to the ground.

“Angel, Jo's just a dumb kid. She doesn't know what really happened with either one of those girls. Yes, I had sex with them. I wasn't "with" Lydia for a few months, the girl was a stalker. Rhonda and I did go out last year, but it doesn’t matter. I’m with you now.”

Cas wiped at his eyes.  _ “I don’t care that you had sex with them, Dean! I already knew you had sex with two girls! I didn’t want to know who they were! I didn’t want to know you slept with Rhonda fucking Hurley! I didn’t want to know that you’re still friends with her! God, Dean!”  _ Cas threw his hands in the air then pulled at his hair.  _ “She was all over you at school on Friday. I saw her hanging on you.”  _ Cas put his face in his hands and cried.

“Angel, I told you, I'm not with those girls. I don't want those girls. I only want you. You mean everything to me. Please, come back inside.”

Cas hiccuped as he cried into his hands. ‘P-Please.’

“Please what, Angel? What do you need?”

Cas hiccuped and hesitantly walked over to Dean, leaning against him and crying into his shoulder.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and starts humming "You Are My Sunshine" in an effort to soothe his boyfriend.

Cas wrapped his arms tightly around Dean, clinging onto him as he hiccuped and sniffled.

Dean gently wiped away Cas’ tears, then ran his fingers through his hair. “So, there's a bathroom just inside the back door. We can slip inside and splash some water on your face. I get that you're upset, but I also know you don't like having everyone stare at you. We'll get you cleaned up, then we can join everyone else. If that's Ok? Remember, there's brisket.”

Cas swallowed and nodded into Dean’s shoulder. ‘Just don’t leave me.’

“Anyone that tries to separate us is gonna get a black eye.”

Cas wiped his eyes and snorted. ‘I meant today. I’m...I’m still not completely ok, but I know we have to go back inside.’

“I mean today too. Honest, Cas, they may be family, but I'll knock their asses out if they try to get between us.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck then shifted and kissed Dean softly. ‘I love you.’

“I love you too, Angel.”

Cas gave Dean a small smile then wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. ‘I’m ready.’

Dean walked Cas into the house, keeping his hand on Cas' lower back. He guided them into the small bathroom and locked the door behind them.

Cas turned on the water and splashed some on his face then rubbed his eyes. He smirked a little and flicked some water on Dean’s face. Dean laughed, grabbed a hand towel and threw it at Cas.

Cas caught the towel and rolled his eyes. ‘Assbutt.’ He said as he wiped his face off.

Dean laughed even louder. “Assbutt?”

Cas threw the damp towel at Dean. ‘What? You and your brother call each other bitch and jerk and your uncle calls you idjits.’

“I've just never heard the word ‘assbutt’.”

‘I’d hope not since it’s my word.’

“Well, I like your word.”

‘I called Gabe an Assbutt when I was maybe 7. He laughed. It just made me madder.’

“Well, Gabe is an Assbutt.”

Cas snorted. ‘He definitely is.’ Cas leaned against Dean, laying his head on his shoulder with a happy sigh. ‘Please don’t ever give up on me. I wasn’t always like this.’

Dean hugged Cas close. “Like what? Smart, kind, sweet, sexy, funny, loving? Angel, that's all I see. I'll never give up on you, for as long as you'll have me.”

Cas snuggled closer as he ran his hand over Dean’s chest. 'I meant such a needy mess. I try not to be.’

Dean ran his hand along Cas' back. “I'm a nurturer, Sammy calls it Mother Hen. I guess we were just made for each other, Angel.”

‘He’s probably mad we aren’t back yet.’

“Who? Sammy? Nah. He's probably curled up with a book right now.”

‘He was eyeing the salad like he’d eat the whole thing.’

Dean thought for a moment. “Let's stay in here forever, then. That way I don't have to eat it.”

Cas snorted. ‘They’ll eat the brisket and turkey. I’ve never had a deep-fried turkey before.’

Dean sighed. “You're probably right. We have to go save the meat! You ready?”

Cas nodded and kissed Dean softly. ‘I’m ready.’

Dean laced their fingers together, unlocked and opened the door. As they walked out, they saw everyone putting the finishing touches on the meal.

“Just in time, boys. Take your seats.” Ellen said then held her hand out to Cas. “Hi there. You must be Castiel. I'm Ellen Harvelle, you've met my wild-child, Joanna Beth.”

Cas shook her hand and nodded.  _ “It’s nice to meet you.” _

“Sorry, I don't understand sign language.” Ellen looked to Dean for help.

“Sorry, he said it's nice to meet you and your daughter is a menace.”

“Hey!”

Cas snorted and smacked Dean. “Ow. OK, Cas didn't say Jo was a menace. Doesn't make it untrue though.”

_ “She probably learned from you.” _

“Hit him again!”

“JO!!” Dean, Ellen, Bobby and Jody all yelled in unison. Sam laughed out loud.

“Sorry.” Jo said as she rolled her eyes.

Cas snorted and leaned against Dean, kissing his neck.

Jo leaned in close to Sam. 'They look so cute together. Are they always this cuddly?'

‘Yup. Never thought you’d see Dean like that, huh?’ Jo shook her head and smiled.

Dean looked over and pointed at the kids. “You two. Quit your whispering. I don't trust either one of you.”

Cas glanced around at the spread and furrowed his brow when he noticed something was missing. He gently turned Dean’s face so he’d look at him.  _ “Where’s the pies?” _

Dean glared at Bobby. “Bobby hides them until after dinner. He doesn't trust me. He thinks that I won't eat the meal and will only eat pie. Love me some pie.”

“That’s because we found you scarfing down pies one year, ya idjit.”

Cas grinned.  _ “What’s your favorite kind?” _

“Oh, there are too many choices. Truthfully, if it's pie, I love it.”

_ “Do you like apple caramel crunch?” _

“Of course. What about you, Angel? Is that your favorite?”

Cas grinned.  _ “That’s what I brought in the box with me. I like apple. I also like lemon meringue. I love buttermilk. I was going to bring it, but some people don’t like custardy type pies.” _

Dean kissed Cas' temple. “That sounds delicious. I also like sugar cream, pumpkin, chocolate-pecan. Sammy likes strawberry-rhubarb.”

Cas smiled softly.  _ “I’ll have to make you one.” _

“It’s real cute how you two get so sidetracked that you forget we’re all here waiting to eat.” Bobby grumbled.

Cas ducked his head, shyly. 

“Sorry. Bobby, will you carve the turkey? I'll take care of the brisket.”

Bobby mumbled and went over to the turkey. Once the meat was carved, everyone gathered in the kitchen.

“Castiel, I'm not sure how your family does it, but we ain't religious folk here, so we don't really pray. But on Thanksgiving, we do like to say what we're thankful for.”

Cas snorted and elbowed Dean.  _ “Tell him our names.” _

Dean laughed. “Cas wants me to tell you his brothers' names. Obviously, he's Castiel, the Angel of Thursday, then there's Gabriel and the twins, Michael and Lucifer.” Cas covered his mouth to hide his snickering.

Bobby’s eyes widened. “Gotta feel sorry for Lucifer. He got a real doozie of a name.” Cas snorted and nodded.

“They call him Luke. Well, except for Gabe, he calls him Luci.”

“Alright ya idjits. What are you thankful for this year?”

“My friends and family and my history teacher that makes us research.” Sam said, going first.

Jo rolled her eyes. “Only you’d be thankful for school work, nerd. I'm thankful my name ain't Lucifer.”

Cas snorted.  _ “Me too. Really dodged a bullet there.” _

“JoAnna Beth…”

“Fine, I'm thankful for good friends and good food and being able to spend time together.”

“I’m thankful for my family and that “our” oldest is finally happy with someone.” Jody said as she smiled at Dean and Cas.

“Even if he gets distracted by texts and doesn’t finish an engine on time.” Bobby grumbled.

Cas hid his face in Dean’s arm.

“I'm thankful that I haven't pickled my liver yet and that I have all of you here today and that Dean hasn't figured out the pie hiding spot yet. Ellen?”

“I’m thankful Jo and Ash haven’t set fire to the Roadhouse yet.”

“Not for lack of trying. Not me, momma, Ash!”

“I’ve got cameras JoAnn Beth.” Jo tried to hide her surprise with a cough.

“Well, I'm thankful that this Angel came into my life and that he puts up with me.”

“We all knew that one was coming. What about you, Castiel?”

Cas chewed on his lip.  _ “I’m thankful for...” _ Cas glanced at Dean and smiled. “Dean.” Dean pulled Cas into a tight hug.

“You people done with all the mushy stuff? Because I'll be thankful for that.” Rufus walked in and set a bottle down on the counter. “Bobby, why can't you ever buy the good stuff?”

'That's Rufus.' Cas nodded and snuggled closer.

“Because you’d just drink it all, ya old drunk.” Bobby said.

“I don’t drink it all. When I bring it over you drink it all and leave me with your cheap shit.”

“OK, fellas, don't make me use my sheriff voice.” Jody cut in.

“Leave the handcuffs in the bedroom. I don’t need to see what you and this old idiot do.” Sam smacked his forehead and Cas shook his head.

“OK, grab a plate and form a line. It's time to eat, people. C'mon Angel, I can't wait for you to try the turkey.” Cas took a plate when Dean handed it to him then looked around. Dean leaned over to his ear. ‘Guests first, Angel.’

Cas smiled and started loading his plate.  _ "It all looks wonderful. Oh, and don't forget the salad, Honeybee." _

Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m not gonna forget the salad.” Dean watched as Cas put some brisket on his plate, but not one of the best cuts. He reached over and stabbed a better piece, then placed it on Cas’ plate. 

_ “Someone else might want that.” _

“They've all had my brisket before. This is your first and I'm not letting you have anything less than the best.” Cas leaned over and kissed Dean’s cheek.

“Would you two hurry up? The rest of us are starving.” Jo complained.

Cas blushed and continued to fill his plate, with Dean's help, until there was no more room. He waited for Dean to finish with his own plate and they walked to the table together.

Cas glanced at Dean.  _ “What?” _

“Go ahead and try it. I wanna know what you think.” Cas picked up a piece of turkey and put it into his mouth, chewing. He moaned at how good it tasted.

“Like it?” Cas nodded and took another bite, moaning.

Dean leaned closer to Cas. 'You keep moaning like that and I might have to give you something special when we get back to the house.'

Cas smirked and put a piece of brisket into his mouth, chewing it and moaning sinfully.

"You are evil, Angel"

Cas smirked.  _ “But you still love me anyhow.” _

"You know I do"

Cas smiled and held his fork to Dean’s mouth. Dean opened his mouth and took the bite off the fork. Cas smiled and continued eating. He jumped when a roll hit Dean in the face.

“Earth to Dean.” Dean picked up the roll and cocked his arm to throw it back at Sam.

“NO!! You idjits are not starting another food fight.”

Sam grinned. “So, we’re taking bets. When will Bobby and Jody get married?”

“Probably the seventh of never. Bobby ain't got the balls to ask her." Dean laughed.

“Boy…” warned Bobby.

Sam snickered. “Ok. New bet. When do y’all think those two are getting married?” He asked, pointing at Dean and Cas.

Cas stopped his fork midway to his mouth and cut his eyes at Dean. Dean nearly choked on his mashed potatoes “Dude!?”

Sam smirked. “I’m guessing after graduation.”

“I’d give it...2 years.” Jo countered.

Cas glanced at Dean and chewed on his lip when he saw the look on his face. He nudged Dean with his elbow.  _ “When do you think they’ll get married?”  _ He asked as he motioned between Sam and Jo.

Dean translated for the group and everyone started laughing as Sam turned beet red.   
  


“Before any of you jokers start getting ideas, I ain't marrying Rufus.”

“I dunno, Mom. You and Rufus are both tough as nails and like alcohol.”

Cas nudged Dean. _ “You ok?” _

Dean blinked slowly. “Um, yeah. Yeah, I'm ok. You?”

Cas chewed on his lip and nodded.  _ “Yeah. Just ignore them. They’re just trying to push your buttons.” _

“Dean? Honey, you ok? You look sick.” Jody said with concern in her voice.

Jo poked Dean with her fork. “Hey, Winchester. Wake up.”

Dean jumped. “What? Yeah, no, I'm fine. Why's everyone suddenly so worried about me?” Dean started to get up, but he remembered that he promised Cas he would stay by his side, so he just sat back and started pushing his food around on his plate.

Cas chewed on his lip.  _ “It’s ok. You can go if you want.” _

_ "No, I'm fine, Angel. I'm actually better off by your side." _ "New topic, please. Sammy, you betting on Detroit again?” Cas leaned over and kissed Dean’s temple.

“Of course. Who are you betting on?”

“Chicago over Detroit, Dallas over Buffalo and New Orleans over Atlanta.” Cas scooted closer to Dean, lacing their fingers together and laying his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“No way. Detroit over Chicago and Atlanta over New Orleans.”

“Really? Have you been sneaking sips from Rufus' bottle? You want to make a wager, little brother?”

“Sure. How much you got?”

“No way, I'm not taking your money, as easy as it would be. Chores, Sammy. Best 2 out of 3 has to wash the dishes from today's meal.”

Sam eyed Dean. “Ok. When you lose you can’t get Cas to help you.”

Dean smiled and nodded. “And when you lose, you can't use those puppy dog eyes to get out of it.”

“I never do that.” Everyone at the table broke out in laughter. “Shut up!”

“Aww, poor Sam, called out on his bullshit.” Sam picked up a roll and chunked it at Jo’s head.

Bobby, Jody, Ellen and Rufus picked up their plates and took them to the living room as the kids started their inevitable food fight.

Cas jumped and rubbed his eyes when something meant for Dean hit him. “Cas, are you Ok?”

Cas nodded and stretched as he yawned.  _ “Why’s everyone throwing food?” _

Dean picked some stray bits of food out of Cas' hair. “It's just a food fight. Somehow we end up doing it every year.” He noticed how tired Cas looked. “Why don't we go to the den and watch some football and cuddle on the sofa?”

Cas yawned and nodded. Dean led Cas to the den and got him situated on the sofa before he turned on the tv, grabbed a throw blanket and cuddled up with him.

‘You’re not tired from the turkey?’

“Nah. We eat a lot of turkey sandwiches. I think I'm immune to the tryptophan.”

Cas snuggled closer. ‘Oh. Dean? I want to stay with you tonight.’

Dean smiled and kissed the top of his head. “Good.”

‘Probably tomorrow night, too.’

“Do we need to stop at your place and get some clothes?”

‘Why? Yours fit.’

Dean chuckled. “A little snug, but I like it. You look damn good in my clothes.”

Cas smiled then chewed on his lip. ‘What if I want to stay through the weekend?’

“Your brothers won't mind? I love having you in my arms all night.”

Cas shook his head. ‘They won’t care.’

Dean felt a flare of sadness for Cas and anger towards his brothers. He did his best to put those feelings aside and he held Cas a little tighter. “That's great, Angel. Did you want to do anything special or just hang around the house?”

‘Just want to be around you. Gabe’s out of town and Mike’s focused on a big case so he’s locked in his office. There’s no point in going back to their house. I’d rather go home with you.’

“You don't have to justify wanting to spend time with me. Any time you want to come over, you are welcome.”

Cas smiled and snuggled closer. ‘You sure about that? I might just move in without you knowing.’

Dean hmmmed. “Not seeing the bad here.”

Cas snorted. ‘You’d find Brussels sprouts in the fridge.’

Dean groaned. “Ugh, nope, I changed my mind.” Dean laughed and kissed Cas. “I guess I can deal with green things that aren't gummy.”

‘Does that mean you’ll eat your greens?’

“I never said that. I just said I can deal with them being in the house.”

Cas did puppy eyes at Dean. ‘You wouldn’t eat them for me?’

Dean melted slightly at the puppy eyes. “Is that a little brother thing? You and Sammy both give me those puppy dog eyes and I cave.”

Cas snorted. ‘I think you cave cause you’re a big softy.’

“Shhh, don't tell anyone.”

‘You’re definitely a big softy for me...well, most of you is. There’s a part of you that gets hard for me.’

“Hmmm might have to snag the leftover brisket for protein and some OJ. You definitely give me a workout.”

Cas gently ran his fingers over Dean’s chest. ‘And you’d snag some for me?’

“Absolutely, Angel.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘Best boyfriend ever.’

Dean deepened the kiss. “Yes, you are the best boyfriend ever.”

‘I hope I am.’

“Don't ever doubt that. I love you.”

Cas smiled and snuggled closer as he ran his hand over Dean’s chest. ‘I love you too.’


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has big news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Dean woke up with his hand on Cas’ bare back. He smiled softly, kissing Cas’ shoulder as he moved on top of him. Cas shifted and let out a sigh as Dean kissed the back of his neck and shoulders. He carefully pushed into Cas and started thrusting into him. 

Cas turned his head so his face was in the pillow. Dean put his hands on either side of Cas and he thrust deeper and harder. He heard Cas sniffle and saw his shoulders shaking. Dean quickly pulled out, running his hand over Cas’ back.

“Shit. I’m so sorry. I thought you were still stretched enough. How bad does it hurt?”

Cas shook his head and wiped his eyes. ‘Please don’t pretend.’

“Huh? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Cas sniffled. ‘Please don’t be like Balth. Please don’t pretend I’m a girl. Please don’t cheat on me. Please don’t make me wear dresses.’

“Cas, Angel, I don’t want a girl. I want you.”

Cas glanced at Dean. ‘Then make love to me. Don’t pretend I’m something else.’

“I’m not pretending. I don’t want  _ any _ girls.”

‘It’s ok if you’re still attracted to them. Just don’t pretend with me.’

Dean tugged on his hair. “I’m not attracted to girls, Cas.”

Cas sighed. ‘You don’t have to lie to me, Dean. I already know you’ve slept with women before you met me. I know you’re bi.’

“I slept with two women because that’s what John expected me to do!”

‘Because you thought you were straight, but you were really bi.’

“I didn’t  _ think _ I was straight, Cas! I was  _ supposed _ to be straight!”

‘It’s ok to be bi. Just don’t make me a girl. I’m not a girl.’

Dean tugged on his hair as he got off the bed. “I’m not bi! Why do you think I was watching gay porn?”

Cas furrowed his brow. ‘Because you liked me. You wanted to be sure that gay sex turned you on and you wanted to know how to do things.’

“I watched gay porn because I’m gay, Cas! What the fuck do I have to do to come out as gay? Wear a damn rainbow and coat myself in glitter?”

‘I wouldn’t suggest the glitter. It’s hard to get off.’

“I think you should go home.”

‘...What? I’m not leaving, Dean. Sit back down so we can talk about this.’

Dean threw his hands in the air then grabbed his clothes and tugged them on. “I got shit to do at Bobby’s. Sam still needs help studying so I guess I’ll see you later.” Dean said as he tugged on his boots and hurried down the stairs, slamming the door on his way out.

Cas sat on the bed in shock. What the hell just happened? He just didn’t want Dean to pretend he was one of the girls he’s attracted to. How had that turned into such a big fight?

Cas sighed and got out of bed, wiping his eyes. He pulled on his clothes then went out to his car, starting it and driving to Bobby’s. When he got out of the car he could hear Dean abusing some poor car with a sledgehammer. He walked over to the house and knocked, going in when Bobby opened the door.

Cas walked into the kitchen and fell into the chair next to Sam with a frustrated sigh.

“Problems with Dean?”

_ He’s so damn hard headed! _

Sam laughed. “Yeah. In that way he is just like Dad, but don't ever tell him that. That is the only thing they have in common... thank God! So what happened?”

_ I told him not to act like I’m a girl, because I’m not and he tried to say he’s not attracted to girls. I don’t care if he’s attracted to them as long as he doesn’t expect me to act like one and he doesn’t cheat on me. _

Sam’s eyes widened. “He told you he’s gay? Like actually said that?”

_ Yes, but he’s not. He only said it to make me feel better. _

“Uh, yeah he is…”

_ No he’s not. He’s been with girls. _

“Yeah. Two girls that he took home when Dad was home so he’d hear them. Do you want to know why he wanted Dad to hear him with those girls?”

_ Why? _

“Because my brother had a crush on his friend and Dad called him a fag and beat him until he promised he wouldn’t hang out with Benny anymore. Dean couldn’t even look at the girls. He told me he couldn’t stand to look at their faces because he wasn’t attracted to them.”

Cas stared at Sam with wide eyes then jumped when Bobby picked up his notebook.

“About damn time that idjit finally admitted the truth. Ain’t one straight bone in that boy’s body. Just look at them legs he has. They’re meant to wrap around some strapping young man like yourself.”

Cas blushed and looked between Bobby and Sam.  _ But he freaked out when I kissed him and said he was straight. _

“I’ll tell you why that boy freaked out. He let his daddy get in his head. I heard him in here freaking out because he freaked out. He had all sorts of thoughts running through that head of his. He liked the kiss, but he’s not supposed to because you ain’t a girl. He wanted to kiss you, but he’s not supposed to want to kiss a guy. Somehow his daddy would know he wanted you.” Bobby sighed. “That boy came in here freaking out to his brother and told him he’d fallen for a guy and you know what Sam said?” Cas shook his head. “He asked if it was you. He told him to get his head outta his ass and tell you how he felt.”

_ I have to go talk to him. _

“Not while he has the sledgehammer, Cas.”

Bobby rolled his eyes. “He ain’t gonna hurt him. He needs to keep that idjit from ruining every car on my property. Good luck.”

Cas got up and ran out to where Dean was. When he got closer he slowed down and cautiously approached Dean.

Dean glanced at Cas and sighed. “I’m not ready to be around you yet.”

Cas chewed on his lip as he moved closer. ‘I ordered you a pride flag and some glitter.’

Dean rolled his eyes. “What do you want?”

‘I want to say I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. I thought you were just trying to make me think you didn’t want girls to make me happy.’

Dean sighed. “I want to make you happy, but not by lying. I…” Dean wiped away tears. “I never told anyone the truth. I wanted you to know because I love you. I thought you’d understand and you’d accept me, but you kept trying to make me something I’m not.”

Cas let out a sob and ran to Dean, pulling him close. ‘I do accept you. I’m so honored that you trusted me enough to come out to me and I’m so sorry that I was a horrible boyfriend and didn’t listen. Can you ever forgive me?’

Dean sighed and wrapped his arms around Cas. “You know I’ll always forgive you.” 

‘I wish I would have been more awake when you told me. I wouldn’t have questioned it as much. I would have been what you needed me to be.’ Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘I’m so proud of you, Honeybee. I promise that if you have more to tell me, I’ll listen this time. I don’t want you to remember your coming out as a bad thing. I want to make it up to you. I want this to be something happy.’

Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’. “I want that, too.” 

‘How can I make it up to you? How can I turn this into something positive?’

Dean chewed on his lip. “Remember when we had sex in Baby at school? After I told you I loved you the first time?”

Cas smiled. ‘Yeah. I remember. That was wonderful.’

Dean smiled softly. “Yeah, it was.” He gently ran his hand over Cas’ chest. “Remember what you offered after?”

Cas furrowed his brow. ‘Sex after school?’

Dean blushed and cleared his throat. “Uh, no. The, um, other part...where you…”

Cas furrowed his brow more. ‘Where I...?’ His brows shot up. ‘Oh. Ohhhhh! You want me to top?’

Dean swallowed hard and nodded. “I...I’m ready.”

Cas smiled as he caressed Dean’s cheek. ‘Right now?’

Dean chuckled nervously. “Yeah, but, uh, I’m pretty sure Bobby would turn the hose on us if we did it here.”

Cas snorted. ‘Go back to your house?’

“Yeah.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘Meet you there.’

Dean nodded and headed for Baby as Cas went to his car and got in. Cas followed Dean back to the house and parked, then followed Dean inside and up to his room. Dean stood there fidgeting and chewing on his lip.

“How should we do this?”

Cas kissed Dean softly as he pushed his flannel off of his shoulders and pulled his shirt off. ‘All you have to do is lay back and let me do the work.’ Cas whispered as he gently pushed Dean back on the bed.

Dean nodded. “Ok.”

Cas kissed Dean’s stomach as he undid his pants and pulled them, and his boxers, off. He stroked Dean, then held him as he ran his tongue from his balls to the tip. Cas dipped his tongue into the slit then ran his tongue back to Dean’s balls. 

Cas pushed Dean’s legs toward his chest. ‘Hold them up, please.’ Dean nodded, grabbing his legs and holding them. Cas licked and sucked on Dean’s balls as he stroked him. 

Cas glanced up at Dean as he nipped at the inside of his thigh. He watched Dean’s face as he ran his tongue over his hole. 

Dean gasped and arched his back. “Oh fuck.”

Cas smirked and did it again. He wiggled his tongue over Dean’s hole, then put pressure against it. Cas pushed his tongue into Dean a little as he stroked his cock.

“Oh fuck, Cas. Holy shit.”

Cas thrust his tongue into Dean, wiggling it. He stroked and squeezed Dean, collecting pre-cum on his fingers. Cas gently pushed a finger into Dean as he removed his tongue. He sucked on Dean’s balls as he thrust his finger into him.

Dean moaned and groaned and breathed heavily. Cas took Dean’s length into his mouth as he pushed a second finger into him. He bobbed his head as he thrust his fingers in and out of Dean. Dean let go of one leg, letting it hook over Cas’ shoulder. He tangled his fingers in Cas’ hair as he moaned his name. 

Cas deep-throated him, sucking hard as he pushed a third finger into Dean. Dean cried out, his hand gripping Cas’ hair tightly. Cas pulled back, running his tongue up Dean’s length as his fingers hit his spot.

“Fuck! Cas!”

Cas kissed up Dean’s body as he continued to finger Dean. He kissed Dean softly. ‘Ready?’ Dean nodded. ‘Want a condom so it’s less messy?’

Dean shook his head. “No.”

Cas smiled and pulled away, removing his clothes. He grabbed the lube and applied it to his dick, stroking it a few times. Cas leaned closer, kissing Dean softly. “I love you.” He said as he gently pushed into Dean.

“I love you, too.” Dean moaned.

Cas kissed and sucked on Dean’s neck as he slowly pushed all the way into him. ‘Doing ok?’

Dean nodded as he ran his hands over Cas’ back and wrapped his legs around him. “I’m doing great.”

Cas smiled and nipped at Dean’s neck. ‘Any pain or discomfort?’

Dean shifted his hips, making them both moan. “It feels weird, but not in a bad way.”

Cas kissed Dean softly as he pulled almost all the way out and pushed back in. ‘How was that?’

Dean moaned. “Fucking amazing. Don’t stop.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean as he thrust into him. Dean moaned, tangling his fingers in Cas’ hair as he licked into his mouth. Dean rocked his hips in time with Cas’ thrusts. Cas brought his hand between them, stroking Dean as he thrust against his spot.

Dean arched his back, throwing his head back as he cried out. Cas grinned and hit Dean’s spot again. “Fuck!”

Cas ran his tongue over Dean’s neck, up to his ear, then tugged on his earlobe. ‘You like that, babe?’

Dean clawed at the pillow under his head. “Yes! Please, Cas. Please. I’m so close.”

Cas smirked and hit Dean’s spot again. ‘More like that?’ Dean cried out, nodding frantically. Cas ran his tongue over Dean’s nipple then tugged it with his teeth as he thrust deeper and harder into him. He stroked Dean in time with his thrusts as he kissed across his chest and did the same to Dean’s other nipple.

Dean’s fingers tangled in Cas’ hair tightly as his breathing became more labored. Cas smirked and continued giving both nipples attention as he stroked Dean and thrust hard against his spot.

Dean cried out and his body trembled as he got closer to release. Cas worked Dean’s cock harder as he focused on hitting his spot with every thrust. Dean’s body bowed and he cried out as his cum shot from him, landing on both of their torsos. “CAS!!”

Cas’ lost his rhythm when Dean tightened around him. He gasped and thrust into him a few more times before his orgasm hit, spilling into Dean. “Dean…”

Dean tightened his legs around Cas, forcing him deeper. “Oh fuck.” 

Cas moaned and rested his head in the crook of Dean’s neck as he chuckled softly. “Yeah.”

Dean ran his hand over Cas’ back. “You used your voice a few times.”

Cas nodded. ‘Can’t do it too much, but I’m trying. I want to be able to talk to you.’

“What about other people?”

Cas shrugged. ‘I guess I’d have to talk to them, too.’

Dean laughed and kissed the top of Cas’ head. “Thank you for doing this.”

Cas smiled. ‘Thank you for letting me.’

“Anytime you want to do it again, just let me know. If I’d known how good it felt, I would have done it sooner. I expected it to hurt.”

‘You’ll be sore later since it was your first time. Hopefully I prepped you enough that it won’t be too bad.’ Cas kissed Dean’s neck. ‘When did you first know?’

“That I was gay?” Cas nodded. “You made me realize it.” Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean. “The way you make me feel clued me in, but the first time you told me that Balth would take you from behind, so he could pretend he was with a girl, is what got me thinking about it.” Dean gently ran his fingers through Cas’ wild hair. “I did that with the girls I slept with. I wasn’t attracted to them. I wasn’t pretending I was with anyone. I was just trying to get through it. But, uh, the first time I was attracted to anyone it was this guy I’d been friends with for years.”

‘Benny.’

Dean’s eyes widened. “How’d you…? Sam… of course.”

Cas nodded. ‘He said your dad wouldn’t allow it.’

Dean sighed. “We were in intermediate school so it’s not like much would have happened. Benny spent the night one weekend and instead of dealing with the air mattress, we shared the bed. Dad flipped out after Benny left and beat the shit out of me. He called me a fag and said no son of his would turn out that way. He told me I wasn’t allowed to be around him anymore. We still had classes and baseball, but I couldn’t go to his house and he couldn’t come here anymore.”

‘And nobody since him?’

Dean shook his head. “You’re the first person I’ve wanted to actually be with. If I hadn’t been with the girls to prove to my dad that I was straight then you would have been my first.”

‘So, in the time between Benny and being with me you weren’t attracted to anyone? Not even actors or singers?’

Dean shook his head. “No.”

‘Who would you think of when you’d jerk off?’

“I tried to use Benny once, but that didn’t work. It just made me hate myself. Until meeting you I didn’t think of anyone.”

Cas searched Dean’s face. ‘When did you use me the first time?’

Dean blushed a little. “About a week before you kissed me. We’d been studying and you put your hand on my thigh. I, uh, I was repulsed that my dick hardened when you touched me, but after you left I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it wouldn’t fucking go down. I came thinking about it being your hand touching me. I’d never cum that hard before. I was so confused.”

‘You canceled our next study date.’

“Yeah. I didn’t know how to feel or act. But then I got with you cause the part for your car came in and you kissed me. I’d been thinking about how that’d feel, but that was different than it happening. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this about you. I was supposed to be straight.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘So you freaked out.’

“I tried to talk to you the next day.”

‘I avoided you because I thought you were going to say I was disgusting and that we weren’t friends anymore.’

Dean laughed softly. “And I just wanted to kiss you again.”

‘I thought about you the day you approached me to study.’

Dean’s eyes widened. “That fast?”

‘Yeah. Have you ever heard of a demisexual, Dean?’

“No.”

‘I think you might be one. Demis have to create an emotional bond with someone before they can feel any sexual attraction toward them. It sounds like that’s what you do.’

Dean thought about this for a moment. “It makes sense. I don’t normally let anyone get close to me, but you did while we were studying and working on your car. So, if we hadn’t done all that, then I wouldn’t have fallen for you?”

‘Not if you are demi. You’d have to know me first.’

Dean held Cas tight and kissed the top of his head. “So, if I hadn’t missed school, then I wouldn’t have had a reason to talk to you, and I would have gone on with my life not knowing what I could have had if I’d only taken the time to get to know the new guy at school.”

‘Don’t think about it, Dean. We’re together. That’s all that matters. We found each other and we’re together.’


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean discuss toys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

* * *

Dean looked at the front door when it opened, shaking his head when he saw Cas come through it. “Use the poop key again?”

_ “Made a copy. Hope you don’t mind.” _

Dean watched Cas pull a rolling suitcase into the room. “If it was anyone else, I would, but I like having you here. So what’s with the suitcase? Need a break from your brothers or are you moving in?”

Cas walked over to Dean, kissing him softly. ‘I thought I’d bring some toys over so you don’t buy something I already have.’

Dean eyed the suitcase as Cas set it on the coffee table and opened it. “That’s only some?”

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘Yeah, I know, there’s a lot. My brothers gifted me some of them. The rest I bought.’

Dean eyed the unopened packages. “Why’d you buy stuff and not use it?”

Cas scratched at his arm. ‘He didn’t want to. He only wanted to use simple vibrators. After the other day I was, um, hoping you’d be ok using them…’

Dean leaned over, kissing Cas softly. “Sure, Angel. You might have to help me figure some of these out, but whatever you need.”

Cas looked at Dean with a big smile. ‘Really?’

“Of course.” Dean said then glanced at the suitcase. “So, uh, how much do you think you’ve spent on toys?”

Cas glanced at the suitcase as he chewed on his lip. ‘Maybe $1,000, but there’s probably closer to $2,000 in this suitcase.’ Dean choked and coughed. ‘What?’ Cas asked as he picked up a plug with remote. ‘This was like $150 by itself.’

“How did you pay for all this?”

Cas shrugged. ‘My parents were lawyers, Michael is a lawyer, Luke is a lawyer, Gabe claims he’s going to law school. My family has money.’

“And they don’t have a problem with you buying a ton of sex toys?”

‘Not so far. Why?’ Cas fidgeted and scratched at his arm. ‘I know, I’m a slut. I shouldn’t have brought these over here. I’ll take them back home.’

“No! No, you’re not.” Dean said as he picked up the first toy he saw. “So, how do we use this?”

Cas eyed what Dean was holding. ‘Um, well, that’s a swing…’

“Wait? A what?”

Cas smiled softly. ‘A swing. It hangs from a door.’

Dean eyed the door then looked back at Cas. “And it can hold your weight?”

Cas snorted. ‘It could hold both of us, weight wise, but I’d like to get a metal support stand, so it can be moved around or it can be attached to a beam in the ceiling. I think the door would be somewhat restrictive. Then, I'd feel like I was floating while you fuck me. There are many possibilities, Honeybee.’

“That sounds interesting.”

Cas grabbed the bag out of Dean’s hand and went over to the closest doorway. He pulled swing out of the packaging and attached it to the door. Once everything was secure, Cas jumped into the swing, smiling at Dean.

“Awesome.”

‘It’ll be even better when we’re both naked.’

“Oh, I don’t doubt that. Wait. Is this...is this a giant tentacle?”

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘Gabe thought it was hilarious. He bought it when Balth and I broke up. He just wanted me to laugh again.’

“And did that work?”

Cas shrugged. ‘I laughed. So, I guess. I’ve never used it. I mean, just look at it.’

“Then why are you keeping it? I mean, how much of this stuff would you even want me to use on you? How much would you want to use on me?” Dean asked as he picked up a whip and eyed it, then looked at Cas.

‘I dunno. I want to be prepared. Sometimes I just order stuff when I'm lonely or really horny and it comes and I'm like, why did I order that? And Mike got me the whip. He's into that stuff. I... I don't really want to touch it, let alone use it.’

“Then why keep it? What are you preparing for? Someone that doesn’t care that you don’t want to use it and will use it on you anyhow? I mean, what if I was that person, Cas? What if you just showed me you had this and said what you said and I told you I wanted to see stripes across your back.” Dean motioned to the tentacle. “What if I wanted to see you take that all the way? Would you just let me do it even though you’d hate it?”

Cas chewed on his lip as he looked down. ‘I didn't think about it that way. I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me. I know I'm a slut. I'm sorry.’

Dean got up, walking over to the swing and grabbed Cas’ face, kissing him softly. “You’re not a slut. Can you agree that there are things in here that neither one of us will ever want to use on each other? If so, then why keep them?”

Cas sniffled and glanced at Dean. ‘You’re not mad?’ 

Dean smiled and shook his head. “No.”

‘Ok.’ Cas let out a breath then got off the swing, pulling Dean back over to the suitcase. ‘Umm, so, let's go through the stuff. We can talk about each item and decide what to toss.’

Dean picked up the whip and tossed it toward the trash can. “Don’t even need to discuss that one. That’s a hell fucking no in my book. And that monstrosity over there can go, too.”

Cas laughed breathily. ‘Yeah, that thing has always frightened me.’

Dean smirked. “I say we put it in Gabe’s bed under his blankets so he gets a surprise when he goes to bed.”

‘Nope! He'd use it and tell me all about it. Just throw it away!’

Dean laughed and tossed it to the side. He reached into the suitcase and pulled out a plug with a cat tail and headband ears. “Uhhhh...really?”

Cas snorted. ‘You wanna wear them?’

“Dude. I’m allergic to cats.” Dean said as he tossed the items aside. He pulled out another bag and glanced inside and found strap on breasts. He closed the bag and tossed it aside then kissed Cas deeply. “Never again.”

Cas smiled softly and pulled out a vibrating mouth stroker with feminine features. ‘I think we can toss this.’ 

Dean glanced over at it. “Yeah. I’m not interested in it.” Dean said as he pulled another package out. “What’s this?”

‘A sex sling.’

“Huh? Why do you have two swings?”

Cas snorted. ‘That’s a sling, not a swing. It’s not just straps. It has a piece you can lay on. I can ride you on this one, but we’d need a frame to hang it from.’

“So, keep.” Cas nodded. Dean picked up another bag and smiled. “Ok. I know these are restraints.”

Cas took it from him and looked it over. ‘Under the bed ones. They go under the mattress and stay there so we can restrain each other whenever we want.’

Dean kissed Cas deeply. “Wish I’d had real restraints the other night.”

Cas blushed. ‘I liked the ropes. I wasn’t expecting you to pull them out.’

Dean smiled and caressed Cas’ cheek. “I’m glad. I wasn’t sure if you would.”

Cas smiled and picked up a penis pump. ‘What about this?’

“I don’t think we need it. Neither of us has a problem with getting it up or the size... unless, I'm not big enough for you.”

Cas ran his fingers over the bulge in Dean’s pants. ‘You’re definitely big enough for me, but it might be fun to play with.’

Dean bit his bottom lip. “Then we’ll keep it.” He said as he picked up a case and opened it. “Uh, what are these?”

Cas glanced over and his eyes widened slightly. ‘Sounding rods.’

“Huh? What the hell do you do with these?”

Cas fidgeted. ‘You put them in your dick.’

Dean’s eyes widened. “What? No. Hell no.” He said as he zipped it back up and started to toss it.

Cas grabbed his arm. ‘I...I want to keep them. I bought them and never really used them. I tried once, but got too nervous to use them on myself.’

Dean glanced from Cas to the case. “But won’t that hurt?”

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘It’s like having a catheter in you, kinda.’

“And that shit hurt when they took it out.”

Cas caressed Dean’s arm with his thumb. ‘They weren’t doing it for your pleasure.’ Cas said as he look up at Dean, then sighed. ‘We can toss them.’

Dean rested his forehead against Cas’ with a sigh. “You really want to keep them?” Cas nodded slightly. “Then we’ll keep them, but if we don’t like them they’re getting tossed. Deal?”

Cas kissed Dean deeply, licking into his mouth before slowly pulling back. ‘Thank you.’

Dean gently caressed Cas’ cheek before he brought their lips back together. He pushed his tongue into Cas’ mouth as he laid him back on the couch. Cas moaned into the kiss as his hands explored Dean’s chest and back. Dean bit Cas’ lower lip, tugging on it.

“I was just about to start a movie when you came in. You wanna watch it with me?”

Cas leaned up, kissing Dean softly. ‘Ok.’

Dean gently ran his fingers through Cas’ hair, then smiled as he sat up and leaned against the arm rest. Cas moved and sat at the opposite end. Dean furrowed his brow and looked over at Cas. “Why are you over there? Get over here.”

‘...But you want to watch this.’

“And I can’t watch it with me holding you?”

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘If we’re having sex then you’ll miss it.’

“I didn’t say anything about sex. I just wanna hold you, Angel.”

Cas looks at Dean in confusion. ‘You don't want to use any of the toys? I'm sorry. I'll go.’

Dean reaches across the couch and drags Cas over and pulls him into a tight hug. “Not tonight. It was a rough day at the garage. Bobby's friend Rufus brought in this old Mustang that needs a complete overhaul and he wanted me to pull the engine out today. I just want to cuddle with my Angel tonight.”

Cas leaned into Dean. ‘I'm just not used to cuddling with my boyfriend without it leading to sex. Friends, sure, but not my boyfriend.’

Dean gently caressed Cas’ arm. “He’d only touch you when he wanted sex?”

‘Yes. He.. he didn't like to show that we were together.’

“Well, I like showing you off and I like cuddling with you without it meaning anything more than I love you and I love being near you.”

Cas smiled softly. ‘Thank you. I love you too, Honeybee.’

“Now I know why you always seem so shocked when I hold your hand or touch you and it doesn’t lead to anything.”

Cas sighed. ‘It just throws me. I could cuddle with friends. We'd just lay on each other and it didn't mean anything but comfort. But I could barely touch my boyfriend. Then, with you, you touch me all the time. I keep thinking, does he just want to be friends, but you tell me you love me without sex being the end result. I just get confused.’

Dean kissed Cas gently. “I do want to be your friend. I want to be the closest friend you’ll ever have. I could never be with someone I’m not friends with. I’m sorry this has been so confusing to you. I want to show you what it’s like to be in a healthy relationship. You deserve to be loved and cherished and touched and held without it always turning into sex. I’m not just with you for the sex. I’m with you because I love you for you.”

Cas kissed him and sighed, leaning into his boyfriend. ‘I'll try. I want to be friends and lovers. I love you so much.’

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and kissed the top of his head. “It’ll get easier. I promise. You’re gonna stay, right?”

Cas nodded, but planned to leave when Dean inevitably fell asleep in 10 minutes. Once Cas was certain that Dean was sound asleep he tried to separate himself from Dean's hold, Dean tightened his grip in his sleep, mumbling, “Don't leave me... love you, Cas... never leave me... need you…”

Cas sighed and gently ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. ‘Dean? Shouldn’t we move to the bedroom?’

Dean mumbled and held Cas closer. Cas sighed and rolled his eyes as he reached for the lamp, switching it off, then picked up the remote and turned off the tv. He shifted into a more comfortable position and kissed Dean’s chest before laying his head on it.

‘I love you, Honeybee.’


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean try playing with toys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”   
> ‘Whispering’   
> _“ASL”  
>  Writing/Typing_

Dean had his laptop open on the coffee table and watched the video on the screen intently. Ever since Cas had brought over the selection of toys a few days before, Dean kept thinking about those damn sounds. It took some searching, but he finally found some videos that featured sounding, but weren't for punishment. ‘Oh, wow.'

Cas pulled up to the house and let himself in. He glanced around and furrowed his brow when he heard what clearly sounded like porn coming from the living room. He quietly made his way to the entrance and looked in, his eyes widened when he saw what Dean was watching.

'Yeah, I get why he wants to try that. It looks fucking hot.' Dean rubbed his hand over his groin. His cock was getting hard from the sights and sounds coming from his computer. Cas smirked and leaned against the door jamb as he watched Dean.

The breathy sighs from the man on the screen, as he worked the sound in and out of his cock got to be too much for Dean. He opened his jeans and pulled out his own cock. 'Fuck. I can't believe how hot that is.' Dean started stroking his cock in time with the man on the screen. Cas shifted a little as his pants got tighter. He debated if he should keep watching or go help his boyfriend with his growing problem.

Dean stroked his cock in time with the man on the screen. He watched as the man slid the rod in and out, faster and faster, switching between fucking his cock with the sounding rod and stroking his cock. When the rod was fully seated, with just the metal ball at the top showing, the man gripped the base of his cock, firmly. The rod started to rise from the force of his cum. 'Oh, fuck.. fuck.. Oh, Cas!' Dean's orgasm slammed through him suddenly when the man on the video came with breathy moans. 'Wow. Definitely hotter than I thought it'd be.'

Cas knocked on the door jamb to get Dean’s attention.  _ “So this is what you do when I’m not here.” _

Dean jumped and closed the laptop. “Shit! Cas! I.. uh... I can explain.”

Cas made a face like he was thinking hard.  _ “Ok. Explain.” _

Dean took a breath. “It's those damn sounding rods. I can't stop thinking about them. I dream about them. I never knew they were a thing until a few days ago, when you brought them over.” Dean looked down. “You wanted to try them. I don't want to hurt you, so I looked them up. I found porn.” Dean blushed.

_ “And it was hot to watch you.”  _ He signed, then motioned to the bulge in his pants.  _ “You hadn’t started when I walked in.” _

“I can see why you want to try. It was pretty hot to watch. I'm still nervous. There's way more BDSM sounding porn than there is of, well, you saw.”

Cas walked over to the couch and sat next to Dean. He leaned over and licked the cum from his cock. ‘By BDSM do you mean tied down with a cock ring on?’

Dean gasped and twitched at the sudden touch of Cas' mouth on his sensitive dick. “No, well, yes, there is that, but I'm talking tying the balls so tight they turn purple, smacking them with a crop, then taking a rod as big around as my thumb and ramming it in the hole. Then, there's the ones with electroshock. It's like these people have no respect for the penis.”

Cas shrugged. ‘Some people are into that. We don’t have to be like those people.’

Dean nodded. “I get that. I'm pretty sure that you're not into pain like that. But I'd like to see how it's supposed to be done when pain  _ isn't _ the goal. Those are harder to find.”

Cas ran his fingers over Dean’s cock, then opened his laptop. ‘This site sucks.’ He typed in a different URL, then searched sounding and pulled up a video. ‘Let’s see how hard this one makes you.’

Dean watched the screen. This video had two men. The larger man was laying back, receiving an enthusiastic blow job from the smaller man. “Already more promising, Angel.”

Cas huffed a laugh as he ran his fingers over Dean’s cock. ‘Sometimes you just have to check other sites if you don’t like what you’re finding.’

“Oh, I checked others, well, one other.” Dean let his head fall back on the couch. “That feels good, Angel.”

Cas smiled as he continued. ‘I have to admit, I was surprised to see you watching sounding. I thought you just said it was a possibility to make me happy.’

“I do want you to be happy. Trying this will make you happy.” 

'You're missing the video, Dean.'

Dean snapped his head up. “Right. Sorry.” The smaller man poured an obscene amount of lubrication straight on the head of his partner's cock, into the hole. He spread more lube on the sound before gently teasing it in and out. “Fuck, that's hot.”

Cas smirked, then toyed with Dean’s slit as he mouthed at his jawline. ‘Isn’t it?’

The sound on the video was thin, but beaded. The big man let out low moans as the rod slipped deeper with each thrust. The small man murmured encouragement and praise. “Just like that, yeah.”

Cas nipped and licked at Dean’s jawline as he ran his fingers up and down the underside of Dean’s shaft, then toyed with his slit again.

“Fuck.. ohhh... pull your dick out, Angel.... please.” On the screen, the small man slid the sound in, swirled it, and slid it out. He repeated the motion several times, as the big man became more vocal. “One day, I hope you can make those noises for me, Angel.” Cas chewed on his lip and stroked Dean as he pulled his own dick out.

“Oh, Angel... So good.. I know you can't make many noises and they aren't that loud. I love  _ any _ noises you make, even if it's just heavy breathing. I just want to make you lose your mind in ecstasy, my Angel.” Dean reached over and stroked Cas' cock.

Cas chewed on his lip, then opened and closed his mouth a few times. He settled on letting out a loud moan like the guy in the video did and hid his wince by stroking Dean harder so he wouldn’t notice it.

“Don't force it, Angel... ohhh... yeah... I love that you did that for me... mmmm... but I know that hurt you.” Dean leaned over and mouthed gently at Cas' throat.

Cas swallowed hard as his hips bucked. He stroked Dean in time with the guys in the video.

“That's it, Angel. So fucking good.” The small guy on the screen used one hand to slide the rod in and out, while the other hand stroked the big man's cock. The big man fought to keep his hips still, while his legs twitched and his hands fisted in the sheets. His words tumbled from his lips,  _ Fuck, yeah, baby, right there, gonna cum! _ The small man let go of the sound, letting it slide in on its own, and stroked faster. “Are you close, Angel?”

Cas nodded and moaned softly. ‘Yeah.’

Dean slid his thumb across the head of Cas' cock and pressed the nail into the slit. 'Cum for me.'

Cas gasped and moaned as his orgasm shot out, covering Dean’s hand in his cum. Dean shuddered as he kissed and nibbled at Cas' throat. He came for the second time, cum dripping down onto Cas' hand. The video ended with the small man licking the other man's cock clean. 'You're fucking beautiful when you cum, Angel.'

Cas smiled and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. ‘So are you.’

Dean smiled and blushed a little at the praise. “So, you said you tried to do that once? That means you could tell me what to do so I won't hurt you, right?”

Cas brought his hand to his mouth and licked the cum off. ‘I only got it in a little. I was home alone and worried about what I’d do if I hurt myself and couldn’t get in touch with anyone.’

“But you know what to do and can talk me through it, right? Or should I research more and we try on a different day?” Dean looked at the cum on his hand, then looked around for something to wipe it up with.

Cas brought Dean’s hand to his own mouth and licked the cum off, sucking each finger to make sure it was clean. ‘I know how it works, but I want you to be comfortable with it. I might not be able to talk.’

“So, you can talk me through it before we do anything. Just from watching, I know that if you think you've got enough lube, add more. After that, start with a small rod and go slow.”

Cas nodded. ‘That’s pretty much it. Never force it in further. If it doesn’t want to move you add lube. If you force it, it could hurt me.’

Dean nodded. “And you'll tell me if I start to hurt you, right, Angel?”

‘Of course I will, Dean.’

“So... did you want to go try it, Angel?”

Cas gasped and looked at Dean in shock. ‘Are you serious?’

“Yeah, unless you want to wait.”

“No!” Cas winced and rubbed his throat. ‘I don’t want to wait. I want to try it.’

Dean grinned and kissed Cas, sweeping his tongue into Cas' mouth. When they separated, they were both short of breath. “Do you want to do it here or up in the bedroom?”

Cas swallowed hard. ‘Bedroom.’ He jumped up and grabbed Dean’s hand, pulling him off the couch.

Dean laughed as they ran up the stairs. “Not eager, are you, Angel?” He went to the nightstand to grab the bottle of lube and tossed it on the bed. Cas hurried over to the suitcase and pulled out the sounds, then hurried over to the bed. He opened the case and put it next to the lube.

Dean pulled Cas close, into a slow kiss. He reached up and began to unbutton Cas' shirt. Dean trailed soft kisses across his jaw, down the side of his neck and, finally, to Cas' collarbone. “Slow down, Angel. We have all weekend. I don't want to rush this and hurt you.”

Cas swallowed hard and nodded. ‘Just don’t make me wait all weekend. Please.’

“I won't, I promise.”

‘Thank you.’ Cas said as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair.

They continued to kiss and undress each other. “On the bed, Angel.”

Cas got on the bed and laid on his back. ‘The, uh, syringe is for if you want to put lube inside me.’

Dean licked his lips and climbed on the bed, on to his knees. He stroked Cas' cock, watching as it grew harder in his hand. “Damn, your cock is so gorgeous. Stroke it for me, so I can get things ready.”

‘Yes, sir.’ Cas wrapped his fingers around his cock and stroked himself how Dean had been.

Dean bit his lower lip and moaned. “That's good, Angel. Just like that.” Dean picked up the syringe, filled it from the bottle of lube and set it aside. He squirted some lube in his hand. “Ok, Angel, I got it.” Cas let go of himself and let his hand fall to the mattress.

Dean wrapped his lube covered hand around Cas' cock and stroked it slowly. On the upstroke, he smeared lube on the head and in the hole. “So sexy.” Dean stopped stroking to hold the hole open. He moaned softly, poured some lube on the head and rubbed it around. Cas gasped as his hips bucked.

Dean set down the bottle and picked up the syringe. He put the tip in the hole. Carefully, slowly, Dean pushed the plunger down, squirting lube into the urethra. “How does that feel, Angel?”

Cas gasped and grabbed the sheets as he tried to hold still. ‘G-good. I’m green.’

Dean paused. “Green, Angel?”

Cas took a shaky breath, then swallowed. ‘Like stop lights.’

“Like safewords and stuff?”

Cas nodded. ‘Yeah.’

Dean nodded and smiled. “Ok, green is go, yellow is slow down and red is stop. Got it. Anything else, Angel?”

Cas nodded a little. ‘A safeword to stop completely.’

“Ok. Do you have one in mind or do you want me to think of one?” Dean stroked Cas' cock slowly.

Cas moaned. ‘You.’

Dean thought for a moment, his hand keeping a steady rhythm. “Ok. Poughkeepsie. Sammy and I use it to warn about John. It means drop everything and get out. Can you remember that?”

Cas nodded. ‘Yes, sir. Poughkeepsie. I can remember that.’

“Good, that's good.” Dean stopped stroking and held the hole open again. He squirted more lube in slowly. “Color?”

Cas gasped. ‘Green.’

“I'm gonna put a little more in, then get the sound.” Dean took a deep breath and let it out. He pressed the plunger down, slowly, then pulled the tip out and squirted some on the head, too. Dean stroked down the shaft with a light touch. He let go to grab the smallest sound, put down the syringe and pick up the bottle of lube. He spread some lube on the rod and put the bottle back down. Dean grasped Cas' cock again and stroked it. “Ok, are you ready, Angel? Color?”

Cas nodded. ‘Green.’

Dean held the head and opened up the hole. He lined the tip and slowly lowered the rod. It slid in smoothly about half an inch, then hit a little resistance. Dean slowly slid it back up, added more lube and slid it back in. Cas gasped and moaned as he grasped the sheets. “Doing ok, Angel? What's your color?”

‘Green, sir.’

“I know I keep asking, but I want to be sure. If you go off green, don't wait for me to ask.”

‘Yes, sir.’

Dean nodded. “It looks really sexy.” Dean slid the sound up a little, then back down. Then he repeated the motions, going deeper every time. Cas moaned and kept his hips from bucking. He’d never gotten past the first half an inch. The deeper the sound got, the more intense the feeling was.

“I know you want to touch yourself, Angel. Where do you want to touch?” Dean kept moving the rod up and down inside Cas' cock.

Cas moaned. ‘I want... ohhhhh fuck.’ He moaned long and low as the sound slipped even deeper.

“What, Angel? What do you want?” He slid the rod up and held it, just inside the hole.

Cas whimpered. ‘I...I don’t know.’

Dean lowered the rod. “Try playing with your nipples, Angel.” Dean used the rod, now about three quarters of the way in, to point Cas' cock towards his belly. He continued to slide it in and out at this new angle, holding the shaft with the other hand. “Fuck, I can feel it sliding in and out from the outside.”

Cas moaned as he pinched and plucked at his nipples. ‘Feels so good, sir.’

“Angel, give me your hand.” Cas held out his hand. “Feel this.” Dean placed Cas' hand on his cock so he could feel the sounding rod moving in and out from the outside, as well as the inside. “Isn't that amazing?”

Cas moaned and nodded. ‘Yes.’

“You're doing so well, Angel. Just a little farther. Think you can take it all?”

Cas nodded. ‘Yes, please.’

Dean nodded and chewed his lower lip as he worked the rod deeper and deeper. Finally, it was fully seated in Cas' cock, with just a metal ball sitting on the tip. Dean let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. 'Holy shit, that's hot.' “You did it, Angel. It's all the way inside. It looks fantastic.  _ You _ look fantastic. What do you think? Can you tell me how it feels?” Dean gently stroked Cas' cock.

Cas moaned as his hips bucked. ‘I feel so full like...like when you fill me with your cock.’

As Dean continued to stroke, he found he could push the rod up from the bottom, then gravity would let it sink back in. “You like it when I fill you up, don't you, Angel?”

Cas moaned as his hips bucked and he held the sheets tighter. ‘I love having you fill my ass, sir.’ His eyes fluttered and he moaned louder at the thought of having Dean inside him right now.

Dean grabbed the lube and coated his fingers. “Spread your legs and relax, Angel.” Dean pressed his index finger against Cas' anus and rubbed with a steady pressure.

Cas spread his legs wide. ‘Please please, please...’

“I got you, Angel.” Dean pressed his finger past the ring of muscle. He pushed in and wiggled his finger, twisted and pulled out. Dean repeated the action, then pushed in two fingers and scissored them.

Cas cock jumped and he arched his back. ‘Ohhhhh fuuuuck...’

“You want me to fuck you?” Dean continued to open Cas' ass, thrusting and adding more lube and a third finger.

Cas moaned. ‘Yes. Fuck, yes. Fuck me hard.’

Dean moaned and shifted so he was between Cas' legs. He removed his fingers and coated his cock with lube. “Angel, put your legs up on my shoulders.” Cas nodded and shifted his legs so they were hooked over Dean’s shoulders.

Dean shoved a pillow under Cas' hips, lined up his cock and pushed in slowly. “Fuck, I love how tight you are. You feel so good around my cock.” He pushed in until he was fully seated, then stopped to let Cas adjust. Dean took a hold of the ball on the end of the sound and slowly pulled it halfway out, then back in.

Cas moaned and tried to push back on Dean then bucked his hips when he moved the sound. ‘Oh fuck! Please. Please fuck me hard, sir.’

Dean slid the rod in and out faster, drinking in the noises Cas made beneath him. He released the sound and grabbed Cas' hips. Dean pulled almost all the way out, then thrust back in hard. “You can play with the sound if you want, Angel.” He started fucking Cas with hard thrusts. “Is this how you want it?”

Cas cried out. ‘Yes. Ohhhhh fuuuuck.’ He grabbed his dick with one hand and the sound with the other and started moving it in and out. His body quivered from the sensation of the sound and Dean’s dick moving in him.

“Fuck. That is such a fucking turn on, Angel.” Dean fucked Cas harder and faster. He moaned and growled as Cas squeezed Dean's cock with his ass. “Angel, fuck, you feel so good. Gonna make me cum soon.”

Cas tightened around Dean even harder as he kept his orgasm at bay. Sweat pooled on his body and dripped onto the bed he pushed the sound completely in at the same time Dean hit his spot. Cas cried out and gripped the base of his cock tightly.

“Don't hold back, Angel. I wanna feel you cum on my cock.”

Cas loosened his hold and stroked himself as he slid the sound in and out. He felt Dean hit his spot hard and screamed as his orgasm hit so hard, that it pushed the sound out, making it land on his chest, and cum shot far enough to land on his face.

“Yeah, Angel, let go.. Ohhh ffuuuckk!” The force of Cas' climax caused him to tighten even more around Dean's cock. Dean buried himself in Cas' ass and released his load deep inside his boyfriend. “Son of a bitch! Oh my God! That was fucking fantastic, Angel.” Dean lowered Cas' legs, then collapsed on top of him. Cas’ body trembled as he slipped into a blissful subspace.

“Wow. That was awesome. How are you doing, Angel?” Cas’ breathing slowly started to even out as he laid there, unresponsive to Dean’s voice.

Dean felt his cock slip out of Cas. He nuzzled into Cas' neck, licking and placing light kisses to the pulse point. “Angel? Did you enjoy that?” Dean got no response and reared back. “Angel? Cas? Cas!” Cas laid there, feeling like he was floating.

Dean checked to see if Cas was breathing and has a pulse. He did. Dean grabbed Cas' shoulders and shook him mildly. “Angel? Quit playing.... Cas?... Fuck! Come on.” Dean snapped his fingers in front of Cas' face. “This isn't funny, Cas. Come on, answer me.” Cas continued to blissfully float in subspace, unaware of Dean’s growing state of panic.

Dean got off the bed and hung his head. He saw the cum sticking to his chest and headed to the bathroom. “I'll be right back, Angel. Gonna get something to clean us up.” He hurried to the bathroom to wash his chest and dick quickly. Then, Dean grabbed a warm, wet wash rag and a towel and rushed back to the bedroom. He started wiping the cum and lube from Cas' body. “Come on, Angel. Please be ok.”

“Fuck!” Dean started pacing. He didn't know what to do. Slowly, Dean realized that he needed to call Gabe for help. He dialled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think I broke Cas.”

“Uhhhh. Ok. What’s going on?” Gabe asked.

“He’s...I dunno! He’s not responding!”

“What were you doing before he stopped responding?”

“I, uh, I was fucking him while he had a sound in…”

“You were what?!?” Mike yelled.

Dean felt tears steam down his cheeks as he started crying. “What do I do?”

“Don’t do anything! I’ll be right there!”

Gabe hung up and sighed. “Mike... Calm down.”

“I will NOT calm down! What the hell were they thinking?”

“That they were having fun.”

“They should know better!”

Gabe sighed and rubbed his face. “Well, they don’t and they need your help.”

Mike grabbed his keys and headed out. “I know. Are you coming?”

Gabe hurried after Mike. “Of course I am.”

Mike walked into Dean's house without knocking, Gabe following closely behind. “Dean! Where is Castiel?”

Dean called down from upstairs. “We're up here in the bedroom.”

Gabe followed Mike up to the bedroom. “What the fuck, Dean? How are you not prepared for this? What kind of Dom are you?”

“What? I'm not a Dom? We were just playing. He wanted this!” Dean rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and chewed on the thumbnail of the other.

“Mike... Remember, not everyone lives and breathes the lifestyle. Some people just use it to spice up their sex life.”

Mike shook his head, angrily. “Get him out of here. I can't deal with someone playing at Dom, and doing a shitty-assed job of it, right now. I have to to deal with Cas at the moment. I'll deal with  _ him _ later.”

“They're kids, Michael! Who was the one that gave Castiel BDSM toys and never talked to him about aftercare? This is your fault for assuming they would know without giving any sort of instruction!”

Dean was crouched in the corner, crying. 'I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm so sorry.'

Gabe went over to Dean and wrapped his arm around him, then looked at Mike. “You even try to  _ deal _ with him and I’ll tell Luke to be on the next flight.” He said as he escorted Dean from the room.

Mike looked at Cas on the bed. His eyes were glassy, as he stared at the ceiling, seeing nothing. “Damn, baby brother, you are in deep. For a rank amateur, the boy must me a good fuck.” Mike started cleaning up the bed, putting the lube on the nightstand and moving the case of sounds to the desk. He looked around for something to put the used sound and syringe in, so they could be cleaned.

Gabe escorted Dean to the living room and sat him on the couch. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Dean.” He hurried into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of juice, then hurried back and offered it to Dean. “Drink.”

Dean looked up at Gabe and sniffed. “If I didn't do anything wrong, why is he broken?”

Gabe smiled a little. “It’s called subspace. It’s a natural high that all subs dream of achieving. He’s blissfully flying high right now.”

Dean looked at Gabe in confusion. He took a sip of his juice. “So, I broke him by making him feel too... good? That doesn't make sense.”

Gabe shrugged. “He’s not broken. He’ll snap out of it. It must have been a real intense workout you two were doing to have him that far gone, though.”

Cas shifted and blinked. ‘Dean?’ Mike looked at Cas with wide eyes when he heard him speak. Cas felt around on the bed then looked around and furrowed his brow. ‘Mike?’ His eyes filled with tears.  _ “Where’s Dean? Why’d he leave me? Why are you here?”  _ He asked before he started crying.

“Cas?” Mike shook his head and cleared his throat. “Welcome back, Cas. Dean is st…” 

Dean heard Cas crying, jumped up and ran upstairs to the bedroom. “Angel, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

“...ill here.”

Cas cried and clung to Dean. “I'm sorry I'm not what you need, Angel.” Dean held tight to Cas and cried on his shoulder.

Cas shook his head as he wiped at his eye. ‘Don’t say that.’

Gabe sauntered into the room with two juices and set them on the side table, then smacked Mike’s arm. “This is all your fault.”

Cas sniffled. ‘Why are my brothers here?’

“We're here because Mikey didn't think. You, little bro, got deep into subspace and Dean-o here, didn't know how to deal with that, went into dom-drop and panicked.”

“We're here to help.” Mike glanced at Gabe. 'How long has Cas been talking?'

Gabe motioned to Dean. ‘Care to guess?’ Gabe looked at the couple. “Once we get you two fixed up, take a couple of days to rest up, then the four of us will sit down and talk about what happened and how to deal with it in the future.”

_ “If you’re here to help then why is Dean still dropping? Why isn’t anyone helping him?” _

“Because if Gabe didn't let him come in here when you came to, he'd probably be comatose right now.” Mike turned to Dean. “Dean, I'm going to have you take care of Cas  _ and _ yourself. That's the job of a Dom.”

_ “He's not my Dom. We were just playing.” _

_ “ _ Then you need to pay attention too, in case the roles are reversed.”

Cas held Dean close, tucking his head into Cas’ neck as he glared at Mike. ‘Tell me how to help him, then go home.’

Dean stayed on the bed, holding tightly to Cas. “I.. I didn't know what to do, Angel. You were just laying there. I thought I b-broke you.”

Cas gently played with Dean’s hair. ‘Shhhh. It’s ok.’

“It's not Ok, Cas. You got your boyfriend to dominate you when he knew NOTHING about how to take care of you. How could either of you be so stupid?”

Cas glared even harder. “Leave!” Cas yelled in a strained voice, then winced and rubbed his throat.

“Shhh, Angel. You'll hurt your throat.”

Cas pulled away enough that he could use his hands.  _ “If you’re not going to help us, then you can get the hell out of our house!” _

Mike scowled. “Fine. Gabriel, you instruct these two on aftercare. I'll be over here.” He grit his teeth as he spoke. Mike, then walked over to Dean's desk and sat in the chair to watch his brothers and Dean.

Cas held Dean close and kissed the top of his head. Gabe glanced from Mike to Cas and Dean nervously. “Uh, I, uh, brought you juice to get your sugars up.”

Mike nodded. “Keep going, Gabe. You're doing fine. You know what they need, first hand.”

Cas glanced at the juice on the side table and grabbed a glass, offering it to Dean. Dean accepted the juice from Cas and took a big drink. “You too, Angel.” Cas licked some juice from Dean’s lips, then pushed the glass toward his mouth.

“Cas, I know Dean's dropping, but you need to drink up too, so you don't start to drop. It isn't always immediate. Sometimes a drop can hit the next day.”

Cas flipped Mike off, then pushed the glass again. Dean took another drink. “Please, Angel?” He held the glass to Cas' lips.

Mike threw his hands in the air and spun away from them in the chair. Cas smiled at Dean and took a sip, then pushed the glass back to Dean’s mouth.

Dean rolled his eyes. “You're gonna make me drink the whole glass, aren't you, Angel?”

Cas nodded and motioned to the other glass on the table.  _ “You first.” _

Dean shook his head. “You take a  _ drink _ from your glass first, then I'll finish mine.”

Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean, then picked up his own glass and took a drink.  _ “Happy now?” _

Dean smiled. “Getting there.”

Cas pushed Dean’s cup toward his mouth.  _ “I’m sorry I scared you. It was amazing, Dean.” _

Dean blushed and leaned closer to Cas. 'You were so beautiful like that. I should have taken a picture.' He leaned back and took another drink.

Cas blushed a little, then chewed on his lip.  _ “You can take one next time.” _

“Uhhh... is that a good idea? I mean, what if... what if you... what if I... ya know... panic again. I don't want your brothers to know every time we do that.”

Cas sighed and looked down.  _ “I understand.” _

Dean looked down, tears prickling his eyes. “I'm sorry. I know I'm not good enough. I can't give you what you need.”

_ “You give me everything I need.” _ Cas signed before he gently caressed Dean’s cheek. 

Dean put his hand over Cas' on his cheek and leaned into the touch. “I'm trying. I always seem to fall short.”

‘This was my fault, not yours.’

Mike cleared his throat. “Ok, Gabe, they're bringing sugar levels up and hydrating, but they're getting maudlin. What should they do next for aftercare?”

‘No, Angel. Mike said I did a shitty-assed job. It's my fault.'

Cas glared at Mike.  _ “You said WHAT?!?” _

Mike rolled his eyes with a sigh. “What I said was he was 'playing at Dom.... and doing a shitty-assed job of it.' Fine, he didn't know, but why didn't he know? Why didn't you explain it to him?”

_ “I asked him to do it to me and I forgot about subspace and drops and everything cause we’d played before and it’d never happened, but it was never that intense. Hell, I almost forgot about safewords! So, if you want to chew someone out, then chew me out! But how dare you make Dean believe he’s not enough for me! That he doesn’t know how to care for me! You yelled at him instead of showing him I was ok! Then YOU took care of me?!? How would you feel if another Dom stepped in and took care of your sub?!?” _

Mike sighed. He stood up and crossed to Cas, reached out and put his hand on Cas' shoulder. “Castiel…”

Cas shoved Mike’s hand off as tears fell from his eyes.  _ “No! It was amazing and you ruined it!”  _ Cas put his face in his hands and cried.

Mike turned to Dean. “He's right. I did ruin it. I went into big brother mode when I should have treated you like a beginner Dom that needed guidance. I know you say that you're not a Dom, but if you two are going to be  _ playing _ at this, you both need to be prepared.”

Cas cried and leaned against Dean.

“I fear I'm making things worse. If you'd like, I can wait downstairs or out in the car, while Gabe finishes giving you the basics of aftercare for tonight and we can get together on another day to go over things in more detail and you can ask questions.”

Gabe glanced from Mike to Dean as Cas cried into Dean’s neck. Dean wiped his eyes and looked at Gabe. “Can you help tonight?”

Gabe nodded. “Yeah. I have to get you two to relax.”

Dean nodded. “Ok, Mike, go. I don't care if it's downstairs or what, just get out of this room.”

Gabe glanced at Mike, then looked at Dean. “I’ll go get a bubble bath started.”

Mike nodded once before he turned and walked out the bedroom door. “If you need me, I'll be downstairs.” 'Switches.. I swear, I'll never understand them.'

Gabe went into the bathroom and got the bath going. He glanced around and wished he’d had time to grab some essentials for them, like candies and fluffy robes.

Dean brushed his fingers through Cas' hair. “Mike's gone, Angel. Gabe's getting a bath ready.” He looked at Cas and gently tugged his hair to get Cas to look at him. “I love you, Castiel, my Angel.” Then he brought their lips together in a deep, slow kiss. Cas ran his hand over Dean’s chest as he returned the kiss.

Gabe stepped into the room once the tub was full. He stopped short when he saw the intimate kiss and cleared his throat. “Your bath is ready.”

Cas slowly pulled back and ran his fingers over Dean’s lips. ‘I love you.’

“I love you too, Angel. Can you walk?”

Cas slowly got off the bed and stood and nodded. Dean stood beside Cas and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's waist. “Let's go have a soak.” Cas brushed Dean’s hair back and nodded.

Together, they walked to the bathroom and helped each other into the warm water. Dean sat first. “Here, Angel, sit down and lean against me.”

Cas did as he was told and snuggled close to Dean. ‘I’m sorry my brother is such a jerk.’

Dean wrapped himself around Cas and chuckled. “Sometimes I hate that I'm so bowlegged, but this? Right here, right now? This is what they're for.”

Cas huffed a laugh. ‘They do wrap around me nicely.’

Gabe quietly went downstairs to find some sort of snack for the two. Mike was in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on a plate of finger food, including chocolate and fruit. “Here, take this up to them, then we can get going.”

Gabe nodded and took the plate. “They complement each other really well. I think he’ll take good care of Cas.”

“Yes, but can Cas take care of him?”

Gabe raised an eyebrow. “Yes. Are you questioning it because he forgot to go over subspace and dropping?”

“And safewords. But it's not just that. He is our baby brother and he has plenty of issues from his ex, mother and father's deaths, the move here and the attack over the summer. I worry about him.”

“He seems to be doing a lot better. He’s whispering and smiling.”

“Yes. That is an improvement. He also stood up to me. While I am upset that he did, I am also proud that he is finally doing it.”

“I don’t think we need to be too worried about him.”

“But we will. He is our family. I worry about him, and you, and even Luke.”

“Yeah. Let me get this up to them so they can be alone.”

“Gabe, tell them... tell them that I'm sorry for getting angry and that I  _ am _ glad they called for help.”

“Sooooo, tell Dean you’re sorry you were a dick to him when he reached out for your help. Got it.”

“And that I am glad he did, you little trickster.”

“Will do.” Gabe said before going up the stairs and into the bathroom. “So, Mike says he’s sorry he’s such a colossal dick, especially when you were smart enough to call us for help, and he’s glad you did.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well... I'm sorry he's a dick too.”

Cas snorted.  _ “We all are.” _

Gabe put the tray on the side of the tub. “He asked me to bring this up to you.”

“Thank you, Gabe. I'd be an even worse mess if you hadn't come to help. Tell Mike... tell him thanks too, I guess.”

“So tell him he’s an asshole. Gotcha.”

Dean shook his head and laughed. “Are you trying to make him hate me? Don't be a dick, Gabe!”

Gabe smirked. “He doesn’t hate you.”

Cas shook his head and snuggled against Dean. Dean trailed his fingers lazily over Cas' chest. “Yeah, well, let's keep it that way.” He kissed Cas on the temple. “So, we drank the juice, we have the snacks, we're in the tub. Is there anything else we need to know tonight?”

“Just take care of each other. You could still drop tomorrow or the next day. So if you start feeling off you need to tell each other or call me. I’ll let you know if it sounds like you’re dropping.”

“Thanks. Oh, and could you lock the door on your way out?”

“Yup. You two pamper each other all night. Call me if you need me.” Gabe said before leaving the room and going downstairs.

“You hear that, Angel? You're supposed to pamper me all night.” He said, grin evident in his voice.

‘And you’re supposed to pamper me.’

Gabe walked over to Mike. “He says you’re an asshole, Mikey boy.”

“Yes. I'm sure that is exactly what they said, Gabriel. Are we ready to go?”

“Yup. Told them to call if they need anything else.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. ‘So are you going to pamper me?’

“Hmmm... I don't know. You seem to have already gotten blissed out tonight.” Dean scratched his nail over Cas' nipple. “But I think I could give you a nice massage.”

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘I’m really sorry about that.’

Dean swiped his thumb across Cas' bottom lip, gently tugging it free from his teeth. “Don't be, Angel. Gabe said it must have been really good for you if you slipped into... subspace?”

Cas nodded. ‘But while I was enjoying it, you were scared and worried.’

“I was. But I didn't know it could be that good. I mean, I've heard of fucking someone silly, or fucking them stupid, I just never heard of fucking them comatose.” He laughed.

‘Maybe one day you’ll get to experience it.’

Dean moaned. “Fuck, Angel. That would be awesome. Just... don't freak out and call your brothers if I do. It was hard enough to have to explain when I didn't know about it. It'd be even harder to explain when they know that we know.”

Cas sighed. ‘If I’d done things right then you wouldn’t have had to call them either. I should have explained things to you so you knew what to expect and how to handle it. Mike didn’t handle it properly and he knows it. The worst thing for a sub to come out of subspace to is their Dom not there for them. I was so scared and confused when I found Mike instead of you. I thought you’d left me or Mike had gotten me and taken me home.’

Dean shivered. “I'd never leave you in that state... not willingly, anyway. And I'd  _ never _ let Mike just take you away.”

Cas furrowed his brows and picked up a snack, then held it to Dean’s mouth. ‘Are you cold?’

Dean let Cas pop the snack in his mouth and he chewed and swallowed. “Yeah, a little. Aren't you?”

Cas shook his head. ‘No. Gabe made it pretty hot. We must not have gotten your sugar up enough.’ Cas picked up another snack and held it to Dean.

“See, I knew you'd pamper me, Angel.” Dean winked as he ate. “What is this? It's good.”

Cas picked up another and held it to Dean. ‘These are energy balls. It’s oatmeal, peanut butter, honey, and chocolate chips.’

“Cool. I'm guessing Mike made them, and if he did, you probably know how, too. You'll have to teach me.” Dean reached onto the plate and snagged an apple slice. He offered it to Cas as he bit into the energy ball.

Cas smiled and bit into the apple slice, then swallowed. ‘They’re easy to make. You just mix them up and roll them. There’s no baking.’ Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. ‘How are you feeling?’

Dean had stopped shivering and was stretched out in the tub. “I'm good. C'mere and kiss me, Angel.” Cas shifted so he was straddling Dean and kissed him deeply.

Dean felt himself start to get hard. “Angel? Are you still loose?”

Cas nodded. ‘Want me to ride you in the tub?’ He asked as he slowly lowered himself onto Dean’ cock.

Dean sighed as Cas encompassed him. “I always want you to ride me, Angel.”

Cas put his hands on the back of the tub and slowly started riding Dean as he nipped at his lower lip. Dean guided Cas by gripping his hips. He bent his legs and put his feet flat on the bottom of the tub, thankful for the non-slip decals. Dean leaned up and licked at the hardened pebble that was Cas' nipple. Cas chewed on his lip and threw his head back, moaning softly as he slowly rode Dean.

“Oh, Angel. You feel so good.” Dean thrust up, matching Cas' speed. “You're always so gorgeous. Naked on my cock or bundled up in that damned trench coat, I can't take my eyes off you.”

Cas moaned and rode Dean harder as he bent over and sucked on his neck. Dean grunted as he fucked into Cas. He slid his hands across Cas' tanned skin, one to the small of his back and the other to twitching cock. Cas tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair and sucked harder on his neck as he started spelling his name with his hips.

“Oh! Oh, God! ... Aaaan-geeeell!” Dean was spilling his load by the time he got to the I in Castiel. His stroking faltered briefly, but quickly, he regained the rhythm that would bring Cas to orgasm in seconds.

Cas cried out into Dean’s neck as his orgasm tore through him. Dean panted as he held Cas close, rubbing circles on his back, as Cas shuddered.

Cas took a shaky breath and kissed Dean’s neck. ‘I love you.’

'Oh, Angel, I love you too.'

Cas smiled and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. ‘Know what I was doing when you came?’

“Wriggling?”

Cas grinned. ‘Writing my name in cursive. You didn’t make it to the l.’

Dean looked at Cas and laughed. “How far did I make it and how did you plan on dotting the i?”

‘You dotted it for me.’ Cas said with a wink.

Dean laughed again. “Sooooo? How far?”

Cas tilted his head. ‘I’d just finished the i.’

“Oohhh, I get it, I lasted to the i, then dotted it.” Dean lowered his legs and let his head fall back to the edge of the tub.

‘Yup.’ Cas said as he leaned forward and snuggled against Dean. ‘How do you feel?’

Dean smiled as he brought his fingers up to look at them. “Umm... pruney.”

Cas snorted. ‘But you feel good? Your sugar dropped a lot during our scene.’

Dean smiled at Cas. “Yeah, Angel. I'm feeling good. But, we should take the food and go to the bedroom. I could give you a massage while we watch Netflix.”

Cas nodded, then stood up and stepped out of the tub. ‘A massage would be nice.’

Dean followed, grabbing the tray and carrying it to his bedroom. “With or without oil?”

Cas dried off and offered Dean the towel. ‘Oil.’

Dean set the tray down near the bed, took the towel and dried off. He picked up the bottle of lavender scented massage oil. “Lay down, Angel.”

Cas smiled and laid on the bed on his stomach. Dean climbed onto the bed and kneeled beside Cas. “Did you want to watch something or just listen to some music?”

‘Music is fine.’

Dean turned on the music app on his phone and handed it to Cas. “Go ahead and pick something, Angel. I forgot some extra towels. I'll be right back.” Dean hopped off the bed and hurried to the bathroom.

Cas looked through the app and smiled when he found a playlist called ‘Angel’. He pushed play on that one. Dean walked back into the room, carrying a stack of towels, and smiled at the music playing. “Songs that make me think of you, Cas.”

Cas smiled and playfully shoved Dean. ‘Such a sap.’

Dean smiled as he climbed back on the bed. “Just try to relax. I'll take care of you, Angel.” He poured some oil in his hands and rubbed them together to warm it, before starting on Cas' shoulders. Cas sighed happily as he relaxed into the bed.

Dean worked the tension out of Cas' shoulders and upper back, adding more oil as he needed. “How's that feel, Angel?” He slid his hands lower, to the small of his back.

Cas sighed. ‘Feels good.’

As Dean continued to work on Cas' back, he began to sing softly along with the playlist. Cas smiled softly. ‘I love when you sing.’

“I really only sing for you... sometimes Sammy when we were little.”

‘You have a beautiful voice.’

Dean blushed, "Thanks." He moved back up and started massaging Cas' arms, down to his fingers.

Cas sighed and closed his eyes. ‘This feels really good, Dean.’

“I'm glad you like it, Angel.” Dean moved down to Cas' feet and started at the ankles, working his way up the calves and thighs. Finally, massaging Cas' bottom, softly singing or humming with the music. “OK, Angel, flip over so I can do the front.” Cas flipped over and smiled at Dean. “Hi Angel.”

‘Hey.’

Dean started the massage on Cas' chest and abs, moving to his arms. Then moved to his feet, using enough pressure not to tickle, but not so much as to hurt. Up his legs, to his muscular thighs. Finally, Dean smiled at the erection pointing at Cas' belly.

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘Told you it felt good.’

Dean curled up to Cas' side, fingers tickling across his hip. “One more muscle to massage. Seems like I'm gonna have to rub it a lot to relieve the tension there.”

Cas snorted. ‘Dork.’

Dean smiled. “You love it.”

‘I do.’

Dean grasped Cas' cock firmly and began to stroke it. Quietly, he started singing. 

“ _ Baby you're all that I want. _ _   
_ _ When you're lying here in my arms _ _   
_ _ I'm finding it hard to believe _ _   
_ __ We're in heaven. ”

Cas moaned as his hips bucked into Dean’s hand. Dean continued to sing, as he stroked Cas slowly, lovingly.

‘Oh, Dean...’ Cas moaned as he felt his orgasm nearing.

As Dean reached the climax of the song, Cas reached his climax. 'I am in heaven, with my very own angel.' Dean gently brushed their lips together.

Cas kissed Dean, licking into his mouth as he tangled his fingers in his hair. Dean blindly grabbed for a towel, wiped his hand off and raked his fingers through Cas' hair. Cas ran his tongue over Dean’s and pulled him closer as he played with his hair. Dean moaned and caressed down Cas' neck and chest to toy with a nipple. Cas sucked Dean’s tongue into his mouth as he slipped a hand between them. He wrapped his fingers around Dean’s cock and started stroking it.

Dean bucked into Cas' hand. He pulled away to catch a breath. 'Fuck... Angel...'

Cas nipped at Dean’s jaw, then nipped his way to the spot on Dean’s neck that drove him insane. He licked and nipped at that spot as he stroked Dean harder. Dean whimpered, turned his head to give Cas more access to that spot, and held Cas' head to his neck. He moaned and squirmed and bucked into Cas' hand.

Cas bit Dean’s neck, then sucked hard. He ran his thumb over the head of Dean’s cock, collecting precum to make his hand slicker, then stroked him harder and faster. Dean threw is head back and moaned.

Cas ran his tongue over the dark hickey and squeezed Dean’s cock as he stroked him. ‘Cum.’

“Oh, Cas! Angel! Ungh!” Dean moaned and shuddered out his release. Cas gently milked Dean’s cock as he nipped at his jawline. Dean panted and twitched as Cas teased drop after drop out. 'Oh. My. God. Angel.'

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘Did you enjoy that?’ He asked with a smirk.

“Oh hell yeah.” Dean said with a sigh. He grabbed a towel and cleaned the cum off their hands and bellies.

Cas tilted his head. ‘Why do you always do that?’

“Do what, Angel?”

‘Use a towel.’

Dean looked at Cas in confusion. “It gets itchy when it dries.”

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘I like to lick it off of you.’

Dean's dick twitched at the thought. “Sorry, Angel. Old habits.”

‘I guess that’s not something that interests you.’

Dean gently turned Cas' face to look him in the eye. “Hey, don't be sad. I just have never done that and when you make me cum, my brain short-circuits for a bit.” Dean rubbed down Cas' chest and finds a drop he missed. He wiped it up with his finger and raised it in offering. “Here. Wanna check to see if I missed any more?”

Cas sucked Dean’s finger into his mouth. ‘I meant you cleaning me up with your tongue.’

Dean quickly kissed Cas, thrusting his tongue inside, trying to chase the taste. Cas tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair as he slid the other hand down his back.

Dean kissed down Cas' jaw, neck and chest. He slid lower, kissing and nipping lower. He found another drop he missed and hovered over it. Dean looked up at Cas' face, waiting until their eyes locked. He swallowed, then swiped his tongue across the flesh, gathering the drop into his mouth. The salty, slightly bitter, flavor burst across his tongue, causing him to moan. “Mmmm, oh Angel.”

Cas smiled and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. ‘See what you’ve been missing out on?’

Dean's eyelids fluttered closed as he licked at more of Cas' chest and stomach. He dipped his tongue into the belly button, where some cum had pooled. He moaned and tongue-fucked Cas' navel. “Yeah, remind me if I forget next time, but, damn, I doubt I'll forget this.”

Cas chewed on his lower lip. ‘Yeah. Ok. I can do that.’

Dean crawled back up, kissed Cas lazily and tangled their legs together. “I love you, Angel.”

Cas smiled and caressed Dean’s cheek. ‘I love you, too.’


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean run into problems with Raph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ”Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”  
>  Typing/Writing_

Cas held the door open for Sam as they left the library. He glanced up and saw Raph with a group of his friends. Cas grabbed Sam’s arm and fished his keys from his pocket, handing them to Sam. ‘Get in my car and lock the doors.’

Sam’s eyes widened and he nodded, running toward the car. Cas walked toward the group with his arms crossed.

“So, first you move to my school, thinking you can take my place on the team, then you turn the captain of the baseball team into a fag. You just don’t learn do you, Novak?”

Cas shrugged and glanced around as the group circled him. One guy grabbed Cas’ arms, pulling them behind his back while another moved in front of him, punching his face and his stomach. Cas struggled and coughed as guys took turns punching him. The guy holding him finally shoved him to the ground and kicked his chest.

“Go back to where you came from, Novak.” Raph said before kicking him in the face. 

Cas curled up and groaned. He pulled out his phone, calling Dean.

“Cas? Angel, you ok? Sammy called. What’s going on?”

‘Need help.’ Cas whispered before groaning in pain. 

“I’m on my way, Angel. Where are you? I know you’re at the library, but where?”

‘Side with bushes.’

“Ok. Employee entrance side. I’ll be right there. I promise.” Dean said before hanging up.

“Well, well, well. Looks like lover boy is going to come save you.”

Cas stiffened and fought as two guys hauled him off the ground and hid around a corner with him. The rumble of Baby’s engine got louder as she got closer, then it went silent. Dean jumped out of the car, looking around.

“Cas?”

Dean’s back was to them and Cas watched as four guys got ready to attack. He took a couple deep breaths and prepared himself.

“DEAN!” Cas shouted, wincing and tearing up at just how painful it was to shout.

Dean turned just in time to keep from getting grabbed, but it was four against one. Cas fought the guys that were holding him. He brought his head back, smashing the nose of one guy, then twisting away from the other, using a soccer technique to kick him in the head. He leaned against the building, trying to shake away the dizziness before running to where Dean was, using another kick on a guy hitting him. 

Cas grabbed a guy that was about to hit Dean and held him tightly. “Dean!” Cas winced and almost lost his hold from the pain in his throat. Dean turned and punched the guy, knocking him out. They worked together to eliminate the last two. Raphael was nowhere to be found.

Cas leaned against Dean, grabbing onto his shirt for support. “Hey. You ok?” Cas shrugged. 

Dean pulled out his phone, shooting video of them. “You think we look like shit? You should see the other guys.” He flipped the camera and panned across all the carnage then put the camera back on them. “Don’t get on Cas’ bad side. Seriously. Dude did some straight up Matrix shit.”

Cas rolled his eyes and croaked out, “Dean…” He winced and put his hand to his throat.

“Shhhh. Rest your voice. You don’t need to talk right now.” Dean said softly before kissing him. “I love you.”

“ _ I love you.” _

Dean stopped the recording then looked around. “Where’s Sammy?”

“ _ Car.” _

Dean texted Sam to come meet them and looked up when he saw him running across the parking lot. “Holy crap, Dean.”

Dean looked Sam over. “They didn’t touch you did they?”

“No. Cas told me to lock myself in his car.”

Dean looked at Cas and gently caressed his cheek. “Thank you.” Cas just smiled. “Ok. We need to get out of here. We’ll have to leave your car here. I can have Bobby tow it.”

“I know how to drive!”

“Yeah, but that’s not legal, Sammy.”

“ _ I don’t want to leave it. It’s not a far drive. I can ride with him.” _

“Cas is my new favorite brother.” Sam said as Cas smirked.

“What the fuck, Sammy?! You only have one brother!” Dean looked at Cas. “I’d rather you ride with me.”

“ _ Either Sam drives and I ride with him or I drive myself. You can follow us.” _

Dean growled. “But...FINE. Straight to our house and that's it. No speeding, Sam. I know you have a lead foot.”

“ _ You just know my Impala would smoke Baby.” _

Dean growled again and Cas winked. “ _ That’s so sexy. You should do that in the bedroom.” _

Sam blushed and covered his eyes “Gross, guys! You know I can understand you, right?”

Cas’ eyes widened as Dean looked mortified. “Just drive the damn car!” Dean glanced at how far away Cas’ car was. “Stay here with Cas. I’ll go get his car.” He said as he took the keys from Sam and hurried over to it with a limp.

“You ok?”

Cas shrugged. “ _ I’ll live.” _

“You better. He really cares about you.”

“ _ I know. I care about him, too.” _

Dean parked Cas’ car at the curb then hurried to help his boyfriend into the car as Sam got in the driver's seat. “I’m serious, Sammy. Don’t do anything stupid. If Jody catches you, she could take away your license before you even get it.”

“I know, Dean. I’ll be careful.”

Dean leaned over and gently kissed Cas’ temple. “When we get home, I’m getting you in a nice hot bath. How does that sound?” Cas smiled and nodded. Dean closed the door and hurried to get into Baby. He watched as Sam started driving, then followed him.

Sam glanced at Cas as he drove. “You really look like shit.”

Cas looked at himself in the mirror and groaned. His eye was swollen shut, his lip was swollen, and he had blood caked on one side of his face. He moved the mirror so he wouldn’t have to look at himself anymore.

“You’ve never been around Dean when you’ve been hurt so I’m just gonna warn you. He’s gonna mother hen you. Like, it doesn’t matter if you can do something, he’s gonna do it for you so you don’t have to.”

“I’m only telling you this because you don’t seem like the kind of guy that likes to be babied, but you’ve just got to let Dean do his thing. I’ve learned to live with it. I hope you can, too.”

Cas nodded and glanced in the side view mirror at the Impala following them. Nothing Sam had just said surprised him. He could already tell that if Dean cared deeply about someone, then he’d do everything in his power to keep them safe. He was the same way.

They pulled into the driveway and Cas started to open the door. “Let him, trust me.” Cas nodded and waited for Dean to rush over and open his door. Dean carefully helped Cas out.

“We need to get some ice on your face. It’s gotten worse over the drive.” Dean helped Cas inside, lowering him onto one of the dining room chairs. He rushed to get an ice pack and some aspirin and brought them back. 

Cas glanced at the items. “ _ And for you?” _

“You first, then I’ll get mine.”

Cas took the aspirin, wincing as he swallowed it then put the ice on his face. He looked at Dean and motioned for him to get on with it. Dean went back into the kitchen and returned with his own ice and aspirin. He made a show of taking it, then held the ice to his face.

“How bad does your throat hurt?” Cas shrugged, making Dean roll his eyes. “Scale of 1 to 10, how bad is it?” Cas opened and closed the hand not holding the ice four times, making Dean wince. “That bad?” Cas nodded.

Dean got up, going back into the kitchen. He came back a few minutes later with a hot mug, handing it to Cas. “It’s hot tea with honey and lemon. It should help.” Cas gave Dean a look of appreciation before he started sipping the tea. 

“When you’re done with that, I’ll get the bath going.” Cas put the mug down and motioned between the two of them. “You’re asking if I’ll take it with you?” Cas nodded and picked the tea back up. “I guess if we use the garden tub in the master, I could.” Cas smiled softly as he took another sip.

“No fooling around, though. I’ll just be helping wash you.”

Cas nodded and put the ice pack down. “ _ Not really in the mood to fool around, for some reason.” _

“You done?” Cas nodded, so Dean got up and carefully helped him up. “You should probably text your brothers that you’re staying here all weekend.” Cas leaned against Dean and pulled his phone out, handing it to him. 

Dean kissed Cas’ temple, then helped him up to the bathroom, sitting him on the closed toilet. He turned to the bathtub and started filling it, adding epsom salt. He pulled out Cas’ phone, texting his brothers that they’d been in a fight and Cas would be staying with him for a few days. Dean set the phone down and gently lifted Cas’ shirt. Cas winced as he lifted his arms then looked at Dean’s tear filled eyes. He glanced down at himself and saw the reason. His whole torso was black and blue.

“ _ They all punched me, then a few kicked me.” _

“Should we go to the hospital?”

Cas shook his head. “ _ They’ll only give me pain medicine and make me stay there. I want to be here, with you.” _

Dean picked up Cas’ phone when it buzzed. It was Gabe asking where he lived so he could bring some stuff over for Cas. Dean quickly responded and told him he was getting Cas into a bath, but Sam could let him in. He then texted Sam that it was ok to let Gabe in. 

“Gabe’s bringing some stuff over for you.”

_ “Pain medication probably.” _

Dean kissed Cas’ forehead. “Good. You need it.” He finished helping Cas undress, then winced as he pulled his own clothes off. “I think Jody needs to know about this. The cameras at the library probably caught the whole thing.”

Cas shrugged as Dean put a towel over his lap, then got a picture showing his face and abdomen. He wrapped a towel around his waist and handed the phone to Cas, who took a picture of him, then handed it back. Dean sent the pictures to Jody, along with a brief text telling her to check the cameras and that they’re at his house if she needed to see them. He put the phone down and gently lifted Cas into his arms, then stepped into the tub, settling in with Cas in his lap. 

Dean held Cas close. He glanced at his boyfriend when he began crying. “I’ve got you. You’re safe here.”

_ “I can’t believe he jumped me again. How could I let him do this to me again?” _

“Again? This isn’t the first time he’s hurt you?” Cas cried and shook his head as he touched his throat. “...He did that to you?” Cas nodded, burying his face in Dean’s shoulder as he cried. Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head. “We’re telling Jody. I want him to pay for this shit.”

Dean held Cas until he calmed down. He gently started washing the blood from his face. “Why’d he go after you the first time?”

Cas sniffled. “ _ Coach wanted to make me captain. He beat me up and told me he’d make it so I couldn’t tell anyone what happened.”  _ He closed his eyes and rested his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“So he made you mute and spread bullshit lies about you all because you’re better at soccer than he is?” Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. “What the fuck? And you’ve had to be exposed to him all this time. That’s...that’s fucked up.” Dean stiffened a little. “When I first asked you for help...you thought I…”

_ “I thought it was a trick. I thought he was testing me. He made it clear that I wasn’t supposed to have anyone to turn to. I took a chance tutoring you. I just...I needed a friend.” _

“You ended up with more than a friend.” Cas snorted and nodded. Dean gently lifted Cas’ chin. His eyes roamed over the bruises covering his boyfriend’s beautiful face. “I love you, Cas.”

‘Love you, too.’ Cas whispered with a slight wince.

Dean gently ran his fingers through Cas’ hair then finished washing him. He pulled the plug and helped Cas out of the tub, gently drying him off before helping him to the bedroom. Dean sat Cas on the bed then pulled out boxers and comfy pajamas for both for them. “Think you can make it downstairs?”

Cas nodded and slowly got up with Dean’s help. Dean held onto him as he slowly helped him down the stairs.

“Jesus, Cassie. Are you ok?”

Cas glanced at Gabe and nodded. Dean directed them to the living room. “Let’s sit somewhere more comfortable.” He said before sitting on the couch with his back to the armrest and pulling Cas to sit between his legs. He gently wrapped his arms around Cas.

Gabe sat on the loveseat while Sam sat in the recliner. “Sammykins was telling me what he knew about the fight. The guys were just waiting for you outside the library? Why?”

“They don’t like that Cas and I are together. One of them was the guy that messed up Cas’ voice. He was pissed that coach wanted to make Cas captain.”

“Is that true, Cassie?” Cas nodded. “Why didn’t you tell us? Mikey would have taken care of that dirtbag.”

Cas shrugged and looked down. “ _ The damage was already done.” _

“So? You were in the hospital for two fucking weeks, Castiel. You can’t talk now. He deserves to be punished.”

Cas opened his mouth to force a word out to prove Gabe wrong, but Dean gently placed a finger over his lips. “He can talk, but it hurts. When we’re alone he whispers to me. He’s pushed his voice a few times, but today he shouted and kept me from getting my ass handed to me. I don’t want him trying to use his voice until his pain isn’t a 20 on a scale of 10.” 

Cas rolled his eyes. “ _ It’s more of a 19 now.” _

“Not good enough, Angel. If you want to get your voice back, then I’m more than happy to help, but not until your throat is ready for you to use it. I’d love to be able to hear your sexy voice in person, but I’m also fine with you the way you are.”

Cas furrowed his brows then sat up, turning toward Dean. “ _ Hear my sexy voice in person? When have you heard my voice?” _

Dean shrugged sheepishly. “Balthazar shared some videos with me. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to think I wanted that version of you more than this one. I fell in love with the silent Cas that I asked for help from in the library. The guy that was ready to rip my head off, but still offered to help me. If your voice doesn’t come back, that’s fine. I didn’t even think it’d be possible until you forced it the first time. If you want it back, and it comes back, then it’s just a bonus, but it’s not a requirement to keep me around.”

Cas wiped away the tears streaming down his face and carefully kissed Dean. “ _ I want it back.” _

“Then we’ll get you back in therapy and maybe Dean-o will go with you and help.”

Cas glanced from Gabe to Dean, who smiled. “You know I will, Angel.” Cas nodded and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean gently ran his fingers through Cas’ hair. “I’ll be right there to push you and keep you focused, but only as motivation. If it’s more than you can handle and you want to stop, then I’ll be right there to back you up. I mean, if you don’t have a voice then I don’t have to hear more of your boring, useless facts.”

“ _ My useless facts are very enlightening.” _

“Hmmm. Not sure about that. It looked like your friends were dozing off.”

Cas smacked Dean’s arm. “ _ They were not!” _

Dean laughed as he held Cas. “I’ll gladly listen to your boring facts”

“Eck. Sam’s right. You two are mushy and gross.”

————

Cas slowly woke up, glancing around the room, which wasn’t his. He felt an arm draped across his chest and smiled softly when he remembered he was at Dean’s. His body was sore and his throat burned. He needed to take another pill, but getting up would probably hurt.

Cas turned his head to look at his sleeping boyfriend. Dean was always beautiful, even right now with a bruised face, but there was something about how he looked when he slept. Cas could get used to waking up to Dean beside him. It just felt right.

Cas winced as he reached his hand over and gently shook Dean’s shoulder. Dean’s eyes slowly fluttered open. “I’m up.” He grunted before closing them again. Cas rolled his eyes and shook a little harder. “I said I’m up.” Dean grumbled before opening his eyes fully, then smiling. “Cas.”

Realization hit and Dean sat up. “Cas. Oh shit.” He rubbed his eyes, wincing when he touched his bruised cheekbone. “You need more meds.” He said, making Cas nod. Dean got out of bed, yawning as he headed for the door. “Be right back.” He said before walking out.

Cas groaned, then winced. Why was waking up next to Dean and having him care for him so incredibly hot? He shifted slightly and tried to will his erection from getting any worse, but thinking about waking up next to a bare chested Dean was making things hard. 

Dean walked back in with the pills and some water and that’s when Cas noticed the tent in Dean’s boxers. Dean slowly helped Cas to sit up then gave him his pills, which he took. Cas grabbed Dean’s dick, stroking it through his boxers. Dean groaned and his hips bucked. “Cas… you’re hurt.”

“ _ I can still give a hand job.” _

Dean glanced at Cas’ lap, which showed he was in the same situation. “After.”

_ “After what?” _

“After I take care of you.” Dean said as he helped Cas lay down. He pulled the sheets down, then gently pulled down Cas’ boxers. Cas swallowed hard as he watched Dean. “Never done this before, so I might suck.”

Cas snorted. “ _ Kind of the whole point, babe.” _

“Shut up.” Dean said with a blush before he started stroking Cas. Cas let out a breathy moan as he closed his eyes. Dean hesitantly took Cas into his mouth and sucked on the head of his cock, then took in his entire length. He quickly pulled back, coughing.

Cas reached down, wiping Dean’s tears from his cheeks. “ _ Don’t hurt yourself. Just take what you can and use your hand on the rest.” _

Dean nodded and coughed again. “I just want you to feel good.”

Cas smiled as he caressed Dean’s cheek. “ _ It will. Don’t be so nervous. Just do what you like done to you.” _

“Yeah. Ok.” Dean replied before taking Cas back into his mouth. He bobbed his head, pulling back every so often to run his tongue from Cas’ balls to the head of his cock. He dipped his tongue into the slit, then took Cas back into his mouth.

Cas’ breathing escalated. He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, tangling one hand in his locks and tugging, while he tapped the fingers of his other hand three times on Dean’s temple.

Dean pulled back, looking up at Cas. “Something wrong?” Cas furrowed his brow and shook his head. “Then why’d you tap me?”

A grin stretched across Cas’ face. He tapped once on Dean’s forehead.  _ “I.”  _ He tapped a second time. “ _ Love.”  _ Cas tapped the third and final time. “ _ You.” _

Dean smiled and tapped Cas three times. “I love you.” Cas nodded, while still grinning. “I like it.” Dean said as he stroked Cas, then took him back into his mouth. He bobbed his head, taking Cas in until he felt like he could choke. Cas’ breathing escalated and his grip on Dean’s hair tightened. He groaned as his orgasm washed through him.

Cas glanced down at Dean and caught the slightly surprised look on his boyfriend’s face. “ _ You don’t have to swallow.” _ Dean shook his head and swallowed. Cas smiled and caressed Dean’s cheek as he tapped his temple three times.

“I love you, too.” Dean said as he moved up and kissed Cas softly. “That wasn’t as bad as I expected.”

Cas snorted. “ _ You expected it to be bad, but you still wanted to do it?” _

“Well, yeah. Just because I didn’t think I’d like it doesn’t mean I didn’t want to make you feel good.”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “ _ But you did like it?” _

“Yeah, Cas, I did.”

Cas smiled and shifted to lay on his side. He pushed Dean’s boxers down, then took his cock into his hand and started stroking. Dean moaned as his hips thrust into Cas’ touch. Cas leaned forward, kissing Dean. He slipped his tongue into Dean’s mouth, groaning when he tasted himself. 

Cas worked his hand faster, twisting his wrist on every few strokes. Dean pulled away from the kiss, panting. His body tightened and Cas could see that he was close. 

Cas leaned up to Dean’s ear. ‘I love you.’ He whispered as he stroked faster. Dean cried out as his orgasm shot from him. Cas continued stroking and milking Dean’s cock as he kissed him again.

He slowly pulled back, then pulled his hand from Dean and brought it up to his mouth, licking the cum from his fingers. Dean’s breath hitched as he watched. Cas glanced at the pools on Dean’s stomach. 

“ _ Feed it to me.” _

Dean gave Cas a questioning look then looked at his stomach. He collected the first pool onto his fingers and brought it to Cas’ mouth. Cas sucked Dean’s fingers into his mouth, twirling his tongue around the digits. Dean groaned and collected the second pool, allowing Cas to clean his fingers again.

“That’s so fucking hot.”

Cas smirked and kissed Dean softly. “ _ That was amazing, Dean. Thank you.” _

Cas laid back on the bed and smiled when Dean snuggled against him. Dean’s arm gently wrapped around Cas’ body, pulling them slightly closer together.

“I want you to stay here until you’re healed.” 

Cas carded his fingers through Dean’s hair. “ _ Ok. _ ”

Dean glanced up at Cas. “How’s your throat?”

Cas frowned slightly. “ _ Still sore. Yelling hurt.” _

Dean sighed and kissed Cas’ shoulder. “I hate that it hurt you so badly, but thank you for doing it and warning me.”

_ “You don’t have to thank me. I love you. I wasn’t going to let them jump you.” _

“I still appreciate it.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has trouble going back to school after the attack.

Cas whined when Dean’s alarm clock went off. He shifted and reached across Dean, smacking at the alarm to silence its shrill tone. Once the room was silent, he draped himself across Dean and snuggled into him.

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas' temple. 'Morning, Sunshine.'

‘Not morning.’ Cas mumbled against Dean. ‘Back to sleep.’

"Sorry, Angel," Dean said. "It's Monday morning. We have school. I have that stupid math test today." He yawned and stretched.

Cas whined. ‘I don’t want to go back yet.’

Dean pulled Cas close. “I know, Angel. But you know we have to.... at least I have to. I can't make you go, but I'll miss you if you're not there.”

Cas whimpered. ‘I don’t want to be alone.’

“Then....? School? I can't miss this test.” Dean thought for a second. “Want me to call Gabe and have him stay with you?”

Cas shook his head and clung to Dean. ‘Want to be with you.’

Dean nodded once before he started to roll out of Cas' arms. “School it is, Angel.” Cas whimpered and looked down as he let go of Dean. Dean glanced at Cas, still curled up, and smirked. “If you get up and go to school today, I'll give you a blow job at lunch.”

Cas shrugged. ‘I don’t want to go.’

Dean sighed. “Cas... I know you don't  _ want _ to go, hell, Angel, I don't want to go. But the question is, are you going?”

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘What if I run into him and you’re not there?’

“You don't have any classes with him, right?”

Cas shook his head. ‘But we cross paths in the hall.’

Dean smiled. “No problem. I'll come get you at the end of class and escort you to the next one.”

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘.....Ok.’

Dean grabbed Cas' hand and tugged, barely moving Cas an inch. “Ok, then. Up, dressed, breakfast.” Cas sighed and slowly got up.

Dean opened his dresser and pulled out boxers and socks for the both of them and a t-shirt for himself. He moved to the closet and got jeans and a flannel for himself and a pair of Cas' khakis and one of his button-down shirts. “This work for you, Angel?”

Cas didn’t even bother to look. ‘Yeah.’

“Cas? Hey, I'm not trying to dictate how you dress, Angel. Would you feel better in one of my t-shirts?”

Cas shrugged and walked into the bathroom. Dean sighed and hung his head. He placed Cas' clothes on the bed, picked up his own and walked to the bathroom. Cas used the bathroom and glanced at Dean. Dean smiled and nodded at Cas as he brushed his teeth. Cas brushed his teeth, then went back to the bedroom and pulled on the clothes Dean had pulled out.

Dean used the toilet, then pulled on his clothes. He peeked in the bedroom door. “Angel? I'm headed down to start breakfast. You ready?” Cas sighed and nodded.

Dean went to the kitchen, started the coffee pot brewing, and pulled out ingredients for breakfast. He started frying bacon as he cracked and beat the eggs. “Angel, do you want an omelette or just scrambled this morning?”

“Angel? I'm sorry. I know you don't want to go, but if I don't pass this class, I won't graduate. I promise that I will get you safely to and from each class. That asshole won't get within 25 feet of you.”

Cas sighed and entered the kitchen, sitting at the table with his head on it. Dean looked at Cas sadly and poured him a cup of coffee. He set the coffee in front of Cas, then continued to cook their breakfast. After several minutes, Dean set a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. “Would you like some orange juice, Angel?”

_ “Not hungry.” _

'Oh, Ok.'

Cas sighed and hid his face in his folded arms so Dean wouldn’t see the tears. Dean ate his breakfast quickly and put his plate and glass in the sink. “Look, if I didn't have this test today, I would gladly stay home. I don't want to be there either.” Cas shrugged a little, but didn’t move more than that.

“I know. You hate this and you don't like me a whole lot right now. I love you and I want you to be happy, but I have responsibilities, one of which is to graduate. So, please Angel, eat a little bit, a slice of bacon at least, and let's go and get this day over with.”

_ “I’ll puke.” _

“What about the toast? It always helps me when I feel like puking.” Cas whined and shook his head. “Ok, Angel. I'll put the toast in a baggie for you, in case your stomach settles before lunch.” Cas looked at Dean darkly. “Don't look at me like that. It won't hurt you to carry it in your backpack.”

_ “Just throw it away at school.” _

“I can't stop you from doing that, but I'll make sure you have it when we get  _ to _ the school. I'm just trying to take care of you, Angel.”

Cas pushed his chair away from the table and got up quickly. He tried to hide the wince when he did. He went into the living room and started to pick up his backpack, then bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain from its weight. He kicked it and walked out the front door without it.

'Fuck.' Dean put the toast in a baggie, went to the living room, grabbed both of their backpacks and walked out after Cas. “Wait up, Angel. I know you're hurting. I'll carry your backpack for you today and every day if you want me to.”

_ “I don’t want my backpack! I don’t want to go to school!” _

“Then where do you want me to drop you off, Cas?”

Cas turned and punched his car, then held his hand as he tried to keep his tears at bay.

Dean rushed to his side, gently grabbing his hand to check out any possible damage. “Angel? I don't know what to do. You want to be with me and I have to be at school, but you don't want to go to school. Tell me. What am I supposed to do here?” Cas turned his face away from Dean and shrugged as he fought his tears.

Dean kissed Cas' hand. “Looks like it'll be another bruise, but nothing's broken or cut.” He let go of Cas' hand and scrubbed his own over his face, letting out a groan of frustration. “Fuck it. I know you're dealing with a whole fuck-ton of shit right now. But I gotta hope you'll forgive me for this, but get in the goddamned house and stay here by yourself or get in the car and come to school with me. I'll walk you to every class, so you don't get ambushed. You want to be with me, that's where I'm going. I'll be in the car.” Saying that, Dean turned around, picked up the backpacks from where he dropped them and got in Baby.

Cas got in the car, slamming the door and turned so he’d look out the window. Dean winced at the slamming of the door, but said nothing. Baby didn't deserve the rough treatment, but he did. He started the car and drove them to school. 'I'm sorry, Angel.'

Cas gripped his own arm tightly, digging his nails in as his eyes darted around to each group of students. He swallowed hard and took shaky breaths. As soon as Dean had Baby in park, he jumped out and bent over with his hands on his knees, gasping for breath.

Dean swiftly grabbed their bags and hurried out of Baby, to wrap his arms around Cas. “I know, I know. Hey, look at me.” He rubbed small circles on Cas' back as he waited for Cas to lift his eyes. “Good. Deep breath. In.... and out.... again, in..... and out. Focus on me, no one else. I won't let anything happen to you. Ok, Angel?” Cas slowly nodded.

“Alright, let's get you to your first class.” Dean put his arm protectively around Cas' shoulder and led them inside. Cas leaned heavily on Dean as he tried to ignore the looks and whispers. Dean, seeing Cas' eyes shifting from one group to the next, decided to try and distract him. “So, I was thinking of renting a movie tonight. Is there anything you want to see?”

Cas shrugged. He whimpered and clung to Dean when he saw Raph looking at them.

'Ignore him, Angel.'

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand hard enough to hurt it as Raph made a motion letting him know he wasn’t through with him. He turned his head, burying his face in Dean’s shoulder. Dean rested his free hand on Cas' head. “Maybe I'll just practice my swing and hit a couple of balls instead.” He said, over his shoulder in Raph's direction.

Cas trembled slightly from his anxiety and snuggled closer to Dean. Dean hurried them inside, away from Raph's death stare. Cas sighed and held onto Dean all the way to his class. Dean stayed with Cas until the warning bell rang and he had to run halfway across the school to get to his class. He kissed Cas on the temple. “I love you, Angel. I'll be here right after class.”

Cas sighed and sat down, crossing his arms on his desk and laying his head on them. Dean slipped into his class just after the bell.

“Dean, you're late.” Miss Kline said when he walked in.

“Sorry, Miss K. Stomach's not doing too well today.”

Cas didn’t move the entire class. He even stayed like that through the bell. 

Two minutes before the bell rang, Dean clutched his stomach. “Miss K! I need to use the restroom.” 

“There's two minutes left, Dean.”

“I can't wait.” He rushed out of the room. Dean hurried to Cas' class, arriving just after the bell rang. He waited until the other students walked out, before he entered to collect Cas. “Ready to go, Angel?”

Cas slowly lifted his head and looked at Dean, then nodded. Dean picked up Cas' backpack and wrapped his arm around him. They walked to Cas' next class and, again, Dean waited until the last moment to leave, kissed Cas' temple and told him that he loved him, before leaving. Cas laid his head on the desk and waited.

Again, Dean played that he was having stomach troubles as an excuse for being late, as well as a reason to leave early. When he got to Cas' class, Cas still had his head down on his desk. “Angel? Are you ready? You have study hall next, right?”

Cas nodded as he slowly got up. Dean, again waited and kissed Cas. “I love you. Wish me luck on my test, Angel?”

Cas kissed Dean’s cheek. _ “Good luck.” _

“Thank you, Angel. I'll be here right after class, then we can have lunch.” Cas nodded, then laid his head on the table. Dean slid in his seat just in time to start his math test.

Cas sighed and got up, going down an aisle of books while running his fingers over the spines. He stopped and pulled a book from the shelf, then flipped it open and started reading. He was pulled from his reading by a body pressing against his own, making him go rigid.

“So, beating the shit out of you and lover boy didn’t work. What do I have to do to get it through your thick skull, Castiel? Stay away from Winchester.” Raph said as he slipped a hand around Cas and stroked him, while grabbing his ass with the other hand. “You’re so disgusting. I bet you’d get hard for any guy that touches you.” 

Raph leaned close to Cas’ ear. “I’ve got a deal for you. Let’s find a more secluded location and you show me a good time.” He said as he ran his fingers in the cleft of Cas’ ass and moved his hand from his cock to his lips. “And I won’t have to hurt you again.” He pulled away quickly when the librarian came down the next aisle.

Cas hurried away and slipped into the stacks, crouching low to avoid being seen. He could hear Raph walking down the rows, searching for him. Cas had a clear shot to the exit and took his chance to leave. He was out the door before Raph could try and stop him. In three minutes, Cas found himself locked in a stall of the boys restroom. He knew he had to get to Dean.

Cas sat on the toilet and put his head between his knees. He took deep, slow breaths as he tried to keep himself from going into a full blown panic attack. As soon as he felt like he could move again, he exited the bathroom and looked around to try to get his bearings. His mind was racing with only one thought. Dean. Cas turned and ran down the hallway toward Dean’s class and burst through the door.

All eyes in the class turned to Cas in surprise. Dean had finished his test and was rechecking his work when Cas burst in, looking frantic.

“C-castiel? Are you alright?” Mr. Redfield asked.

“Angel? What are you doing?” Cas’ eyes met Dean’s and he broke down, sobbing. Dean handed his test paper to the teacher and grabbed his backpack. “Mr. Redfield, I need to take Cas out to try and calm him down and figure out what's wrong.” Dean didn't wait for a response, as he wrapped his arms around Cas and ushered him out of the classroom. “Angel? What's going on?”

Cas fell into Dean’s arms as he sobbed. He buried his face in Dean’s shoulder and clung to him tightly. Dean held Cas tight, rubbing circles on his back, and let him cry. When Cas seemed to have calmed down a bit, “Angel? Tell me what's wrong. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong.”

Cas pulled back a little and looked at Dean as tears streamed down his face.  _ “Home.” _

Dean nodded, taking no time to think about it. “I can leave, no problem, just sign myself out. But, the school is gonna have to get permission from your brother for you to leave.”

Cas whimpered and dug his nails into his arm. Dean gently pried Cas' fingers from his arm and laced them with his own. “I will get you home, one way or another, but we gotta try to jump through their hoops. Do you want them to call Gabe or Mike?” He led Cas down the hall, to the office.

_ “Gabe.” _

“Ok, we'll have the office call Gabe to send you home.” They entered the office and Dean greeted the receptionist. “Hey, Becky. Look Cas and I aren't feeling well and we need to leave. So, can you call his brother Gabriel and get his Ok for me to take him home?”

Becky looked at Cas’ records. “Uh, it looks like his emergency contact is Micheal Novak.” Cas whimpered and shook his head.

Dean turned on the charm. “Isn't Gabriel listed as a secondary contact? Couldn't you just call him instead, Becky?”

“I don’t know. We’re supposed to try Micheal first.”

Dean looked back at Cas  _ "Just trust me. Text Gabe. Tell him you're freaking out and want me to take you home. I've got this."  _ He turned back to Becky. “C'mon, Beck, for me? Call Gabe. Mike's just gonna make Cas wait until he can get away from the office to come get him. Since I'm already leaving, Gabe won't make him wait.” Cas chewed on his lip and texted Gabe.

“But Michael is his primary. If he wants him to wait, then he needs to wait.”

“F.... Fine. Call Mike. Here I was, thinking you had brains enough to think for yourself.” Dean turned and led Cas to the chairs, so they could wait.  _ "Sorry, Angel. I used to be able to turn on the charm and have no problems. Am I getting old or ugly?" _

Cas sighed.  _ “You’re gay.” _

_ “ _ You’re able to go, Dean. He can wait without you.” Cas shook his head frantically as he clung to Dean and started crying.

Dean looked at Becky like she was insane. “Seriously? Can't you see he's in full-blown anxiety attack, working his way up to a panic attack? Are you gonna handle that? Are you gonna explain to Michael that, seeing his condition, you sent away the one person that could potentially keep him grounded, so you could make him wait by himself? Real smart.”

Cas cried and pressed as much of his body against Dean as he could. He clung tighter as he shook his head and cried.  _ “Home. Home. Home. Home.” _

Dean held Cas close and tried to soothe his sobbing boyfriend. “I'm trying to get you home as fast as I can, Angel.” He looked up at Becky. “Have you made that call yet?”

“Michael said he’ll be in a meeting for a few hours so you can take him home.”

“About time. Let's get out of here, Angel.” Cas wiped at his eyes and nodded. Dean grabbed their backpacks, wrapped his arm around Cas and they walked out to Baby. “Ok, Angel, we're going home.”

Cas wiped at his eyes more, then slowly got into the car. Dean got in the driver's seat and started her up. “Well, it's lunchtime. Do you want to stop and pick something up or just make lunch at home?”

Cas shrugged.  _ “Not hungry.” _

“I'm sorry. I know you didn't want to go to school. But I had to take that test. I hope you're not too upset with me.”

Cas shrugged again.  _ “Not your fault.” _

Dean frowned slightly, but drove out of the parking lot toward home. About halfway there, Dean asked, “So, what got you so upset, that you burst into my math class in total panic-mode, Angel?” Cas turned toward the window and shoved his hands into his pockets as he watched things fly by. “Fine. I'll drop it. But, I wish you wouldn't shut me out like this.”

Cas sniffled and wiped at his eyes. Dean laid his hand, palm up, on the seat between them. Cas glanced at Dean’s hand, then put his own on top. When Dean squeezed his hand, he started crying.

“It's ok, Angel. I've got you.” Cas put his other hand over his face as he cried. Dean's heart broke to see his boyfriend hurting so much. He wanted to help, to fix whatever problems Cas had, now or in the future. “Slide over here, Angel.”

Cas wiped at his eyes and slid over to Dean. Dean lifted their hands, laying his arm over Cas' shoulder, causing Cas to cross his arm over his chest. At a stoplight, Dean turned and kissed Cas on the forehead. “You know I love you and would do anything to protect you, right, Angel?” Cas nodded and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder.

Dean parked Baby in his driveway and shut the engine off. They sat there for a few moments, Dean's arm around Cas' shoulder, Cas' head on Dean's shoulder.   
“Are you ready to go inside, Angel?”

Cas nodded and pulled away from Dean, then got out of the car. Once inside, Dean set their backpacks on the floor next to the couch and headed for the kitchen.   
“I know you said you aren't hungry, but I'm starving. Want me to make some extra, in case you change your mind?” Cas shrugged, then sighed when he realized Dean had his back to him and couldn’t see it.

Dean pulled a package of bratwurst and a red bell pepper from the fridge and set them on the counter. Then he grabbed some potatoes and scrubbed them in the sink. He turned on the oven, diced the potatoes and a shallot, and sliced the pepper into strips. Dean coated them with oil and seasonings and put them all in a large baking dish. He placed the sausages evenly throughout. Then, he put it all in the oven to bake.

Cas fell onto the couch, sighing heavily. He put his face in his hands, then tugged hard on his hair. Dean walked into the living room and saw Cas pulling on his hair so hard that his knuckles were white. Cas pulled even harder as tears rolled down his cheeks.

'Angel? Why are you hurting yourself?'

_ “I’m stupid and disgusting and I don’t deserve you.” _

Dean looked at Cas in shock and confusion. He sat beside Cas and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “No, Angel. You are smart and sexy and the only person I want to be with.” Cas shook his head and cried. “It's true. If anyone says otherwise, I'll kick their ass. You're mine, for as long as you'll have me.”

_ “Raph...”  _ Cas cried harder and clung to Dean.

Dean growled. “Raph? Did you have a run in with him today?” Cas buried his face in Dean’s shoulder as he cried. “Did he hurt you? I'll kill him!” Cas cried and shook his head. “Did he just scare you?” Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. Dean gently wiped some of the tears from Cas' face. “I'm so sorry, Angel. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

Cas sighed and shook his head.  _ “Just want to sleep.” _

“The food's nearly done. If you give me a few, I can eat quickly and we can take a nap together.... unless you'd rather be alone.”

Cas shook his head more.  _ “With you.” _

Dean carded his fingers through Cas' hair, as they waited for the timer to go off. When it did, Dean had to untangle himself from Cas. “Has your appetite come back yet?” Cas shrugged. He still wasn’t hungry, but he knew if he didn’t eat, Dean would worry.

Dean held out his hand. “C'mon, keep me company while I eat, then we'll go upstairs.” Cas took Dean’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled from the couch. He walked with Dean into the kitchen and sat at the table.

Dean turned off the oven and made himself a plate. He made a smaller plate for Cas and slid it in front of him. True to his word, Dean ate quickly. He was relieved to see that Cas took a few bites of the food. “Let me put the leftovers away, Ok Angel?” Cas took a drink and nodded.

“Did you want some more?”

_ “Later.” _

Dean nodded and put everything away.   
“Ok, I think that's everything. You ready to go take a nap?” Cas nodded and got up. He picked up his glass and put it in the sink.

They went upstairs, Dean started pulling off his clothes. Cas got undressed and into bed. Dean joined him and cuddled him close. Cas laid his head on Dean’s chest as he snuggled closer to him. Dean kissed the top of Cas' head. “Sleep well, my Angel.”

Cas shifted, putting one leg between Dean’s and pressed his entire naked body against Dean. He sighed softly and closed his eyes.

Dean was awoken by his cellphone ringing a few hours later. He grabbed it off the nightstand and saw it was Mike and answered. “Hello.” 

“Where’s Cas?”

“Home.”

“No he’s not. I’m here and he’s not here.”

“Uhhh.... he’s with me at my house.”

“Why didn't you bring him to his home?”

“Uhhh... he wanted to come here.”

“Fine, I'm coming to get him.”

“Like hell you are.”

Cas whimpered and shifted. Dean brushed Cas' hair back, trying to soothe him back to sleep. 'Like hell you are. Cas is sleeping.'

“I don’t really care. He had an episode and he should be here, at home.”

Cas whimpered and snuggled closer. 'First, I am not gonna force Cas to be somewhere he doesn't want to go. That's part of what caused his panic attack today. I had a test and he didn't want me to leave him alone. Second, Cas is sleeping. He had a panic attack, he's exhausted, I know he needs to get up soon, but I want that to be gentle, not his older brother barging in and yanking him away. How do you think that's going to affect his anxiety?'

“I’d specifically told Ms Rosen that I gave you permission to bring him  _ home _ . I don’t like when my orders are not followed.”

'I  _ did _ bring him home. No one told me I had to take him to your house. Besides, I don't take orders from you.' Cas whimpered as he started tossing and turning.

“I’m coming to get him.”

'If and when Castiel goes back to  _ your _ house, will be up to him. Not you, not me, him. You will  _ not _ come into  _ my _ house uninvited and start ordering people around. We are not your submissives. Goodbye, Michael.' Dean said, then hung up.

Cas whimpered and fought with the sheets as he got tangled in them. Dean hesitantly reached out to touch Cas. He wanted to calm him down, but didn't want to startle him into another attack. 'Cas, Angel, hey... it's Ok. Wake up for me?'

Cas whimpered and shook his head. In his nightmare, the blankets were Raph pinning him against the bookshelf in the library. He’d never gotten away. He’d never gotten to Dean. Dean frowned. “Angel, wake up. Cas?”

Cas whimpered. ‘No... Dean... Help...’

Dean's heart broke, listening to Cas cry out for his help in his sleep. He reached out and shook Cas. “Cas! Wake up! Angel, it's just a dream.”

Cas’ eyes shot open and he tried to fight Dean off until realization hit and he buried his face in Dean’s chest. Dean threw his arms around Cas instantly. “Shhhh, it's alright, Angel. I'm here. It'll be OK.” Cas trembled in Dean’s arms as he took shaky breaths. “Want to tell me about your nightmare? It helps me, sometimes.”

Cas swallowed hard.  _ “Raph hurt me again.” _

‘Oh, Angel. I promise, one day, he will pay for all he's put you through.’

Cas nodded and snuggled into Dean.  _ “You’ll keep me safe.” _

Dean kissed the top of his head. “I'll do my best, Angel.”

_ “You’ll take care of me.” _

“Always.”

Cas nodded and kissed Dean’s chest.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas tells Dean what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _”ASL”  
>  Texting/Writing_

Dean was waiting for Cas at the end of second period. “So, Angel? Study hall. Library again?” Cas’ eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. He grabbed a hold of Dean’s arm for dear life. “Ok, ok, Angel. No library. Where do you want to go for study hall? Thank God, Mike got me that note saying I need extra time between classes. I can take you wherever you want in the school and not worry about being tardy.”

Cas chewed on his lip.  _ “With you.” _

Dean looked at Cas and shrugged. “I don't know if Donatello will go for it, but we can ask. If he says no, where do you want to go?”

Cas chewed on his lip and shrugged as he looked down.  _ “Home.” _

Dean nodded. “I'll try and make a real good case for you. If he says no, I'll get the homework and take you home. I want you safe, Angel.”

Cas gave Dean a surprised look.  _ “Seriously?” _

“Of course, Angel. I love you.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean softly.  _ “I love you, too.” _

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas and led him to his math class. “Mr. Redfield, hey. Umm, Cas and I would like to ask a favor. He has independent study this period. He's not comfortable going to the library with his anxiety like it is. Could he sit in here? It's not like he's gonna make a lot of noise, with his chord damage.” Cas leaned his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“Yes. Of course. Castiel can stay in here.”

“Thanks, Mr. R. C'mon Cas.” Dean led Cas to the back of the room and they sat. Cas pulled out his work and put it on the desk. Dean also pulled out his book and notes, getting ready for class to start. 'Feel better, Angel?'

Cas nodded. _ “I’m safe in here.”  _ Dean nodded and smiled. Cas smiled a little and messed with his work.

The bell rang and Mr. Redfield quieted the class to begin his lecture. Cas tuned Mr. Redfield out as he worked on his own schoolwork. “Alright, class, open your books to Chapter 7 – Application of Differentiation. The materials in this chapter introduce and cover the Application of Differentiation. We will be discussing the concepts of position and velocity, linear approximation, related rates and optimization.”

Dean opened his book and notebook, glancing at Cas. Cas chewed on the end of his pen as he read over his own assignment. Dean stared at Cas, biting his pen. Cas chewed on his pen some more, then started writing. He stopped and chewed on his lip a little with a slight head tilt.

“Mr. Winchester? Mr. Winchester, can you answer the question?”

Cas glanced at Mr. Redfield then at Dean and rolled his eyes. He threw his pen at him, hitting him in the forehead. Dean jumped and rubbed his forehead. He shot a look of confusion at Cas. 'Ow. What was that for?'

Cas motioned to Mr. Redfield. _ “Answer the question. He’s said your name multiple times.” _

Dean whipped his head to the front of the class, a look of embarrassment gracing his features. “I.. I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?” Cas shook his head with an amused look on his face.

“Mr. Winchester, Dean, I have allowed Mr. Novak to stay in this room, with the understanding that he would not be a disruptive influence. Please don't make me rethink my decision.”

Cas’ amused look fell and his eyes widened.  _ “I’m just studying!” _

“You're right, Mr. Redfield. I'm sorry. I'll pay attention. Promise. Don't blame Cas for this, it's my fault. He's just studying.”

“If he continues to distract you, then he’ll have to go to the library for the remainder of this period.”

Cas shook his head and looked at Dean.  _ “No!” _

“It won't come to that, sir. You have my word.”

“I don't want your word, Mr. Winchester. I want your attention.”

“You got it!”

Cas chewed on his lip and reached for his pen.  _ “Give me my pen back.” _

Dean, keeping his eyes on Mr. Redfield, reached down, picked up the pen and held it out for Cas. Cas took the pen, then scratched at his arm as he tried to focus on the assignment in front of him. When it became clear that his mind wasn’t going to let him, he folded his arms on the desk and laid his head on them.

Before they knew it, class was over and it was time for lunch. Dean poked Cas gently. 'Angel, class is over. Let's go out to Baby for lunch.' Cas lifted his head and nodded. He picked up everything and shoved it into his backpack before getting up.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas and they walked to the parking lot. “How are ya doing, Angel?”

Cas chewed on his lip and shrugged.  _ “I’m worried I’ll run into him and you won’t be there.” _

“Yeah, it'd be great if he'd just not be here and just leave you in peace. Raph's just a dick.” Dean hugged Cas closer as they got near Baby. Cas nodded and leaned against Dean.

Dean opened the backdoor of the car and waved Cas in, following after. He leaned over the front seat and started the engine to get the heater going. Then, Dean sat back and pulled Cas into his arms. “Damn, it's cold. Give it a minute and we should have some heat, Angel.”

Cas nodded and snuggled against Dean with a happy sigh. _ “You need to eat.” _

Dean looked at Cas' neck and started nibbling. “Mmm, best lunch.”

Cas chewed on his lip.  _ “I’m not food.” _

Dean smiled against Cas' neck, “Maybe not, but you sure are sweet and tasty and damned irresistible.” Cas turned his head and kissed Dean. Dean let his hands wander over Cas' chest as they kissed. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Angel? You really aren't into this right now, are you?”

Cas chewed on his lip.  _ “I’m hungry. Sorry.” _

Dean gave Cas another squeeze, before reaching into the cooler on the floor for their lunch. “Don't be sorry for being hungry. You're right, we should eat. What did you pack us today, Angel?”

_ “Mexican meatloaf.” _

“Mexican meatloaf? What makes it Mexican, Angel?”

_ “Taco seasoning in it and tortilla chips instead of bread. It’s really good.” _

“Sounds delicious. Do we need to go inside and heat it up or is it good cold?”

Cas shrugged.  _ “Either way.” _

“Which way would you prefer? I yield to your expertise, good sir.” He said with a smile.

_ “I don’t want to go in there with him. There’s bread so it can be a sandwich, if you want.” _

Dean smiled and kissed Cas' temple. “You take such good care of me, Angel.” He pulled out the container with the sliced meatloaf and the loaf of bread. “There's even cheese. This is great! You want it as a sandwich too, Angel?” Cas smiled and nodded.

Dean made the sandwiches, handed one to Cas and took a bite of his own. “Oh my God. This is fantastic!” Dean said around a mouthful of food.

Cas smiled shyly.  _ “I’m glad you like it.”  _ He took a bite of his own.

Dean swallowed. “Hell, yeah, I like it. It's meaty and cheesy and has the perfect amount of heat.”

Cas smiled.  _ “Luke and I created it.” _

“Luke is Mike's twin, right?” Cas nodded as he took another bite. “Is he anything like Mike?”

Cas shook his head.  _ “They’re both Doms, but he’s not an ass.” _

Dean continued eating his sandwich, moaning with every bite. “I'm guessing that Mike never created any recipes with you.”

Cas shook his head.  _ “He never did stuff like that.” _

Dean nodded and licked his fingers after swallowing the last bite of his sandwich. “Well, I'm definitely gonna have to thank Luke, if I ever meet him. Seems he actually cares about you.”

Cas took another bite.  _ “He does. He cares about Gabe, too. He and Mike get into it a lot. _ ”

“Probably more reason to like him.” Dean laughed. “Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Mike or anything, he just rubs me the wrong way.”

_ “I think he’ll like you when he meets you.” _

“Cool.”

Cas shifted and snuggled against Dean.  _ “Hopefully he can visit soon.” _

Dean wrapped his arms tighter around Cas. “I can't wait to meet him.” Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder and snuggled closer. They stayed like that, cuddling, for several minutes. Dean sighed. “I guess it's time to head back in. Only a few more classes, then we can go home and relax.”

Cas sighed and nodded.  _ “Wish we could just go home.” _

“You know Mike would have your ass, and Bobby would have mine if we skip any more, especially this week. I haven't been to English Lit and you haven't been to Government all week. I know we're gonna have a ton of work to make up.”

Cas pouted and snuggled closer. He chewed on his lip, then ran his hand over Dean’s chest and down his stomach toward his cock. Dean groaned and grabbed Cas' hand. “I know what you're trying to do, Angel. Now that it's time to go back, you're trying to distract me with sex.” He let his head fall back. Dean was torn. He wanted to be intimate with his boyfriend, but he knew he needed to be responsible and go to class. “Fuck, Angel. I know you're nervous about running into Raph, but if you live in fear, he wins. You don't want him to win, do you?”

Cas looked down as he pulled his hand away from Dean’s hand.  _ “He already has.”  _ Cas slid to the door and got out of the car, then headed for the school.

“Fuck. I just can't win sometimes.” Dean grabbed their backpacks, turned off the engine, hopped out and ran to catch up with Cas. “Angel. Don't be mad.” Cas shoved his hands in his pockets as he headed for the door.

'Great, more silent treatment.' “I know you want to leave. You know I need to stay. Neither of us is gonna be happy today, huh? Well, I'll stay true to my word, I'll be at the door after every class to walk you to the next. It doesn't matter if you don't want to talk to me today. I love you and I want to be here for you. Nothing's gonna change that.”

Cas turned toward Dean.  _ “Don’t be afraid, right? I think I can handle it the rest of the day.”  _ He took his backpack from Dean and put it on before opening the door and going inside, then shoved his hands back into his pockets.

'Damnit. Open mouth, insert foot, Winchester.' “Cas, wait up! I said I'll be here for you.” Dean followed Cas, staying two paces behind and keeping an eye out for Raph and his friends.

Cas stopped short and rolled his eyes when Dean ran into him. He turned and looked at him.  _ “Go to class.” _

“After I get you to yours. I'm not abandoning you, Castiel.”

_ “I’m a big boy. I can get myself to class, Dean. I’m not supposed to be afraid, or mad, or let him win, right? I mean, that’s what you said I’m not supposed to feel.” _

“You know that's not what I meant. I'm supposed to be the one you can lean on. I meant that you can't show  _ him _ that you're afraid. You're allowed to  _ be _ afraid and mad. I know I said that you can't live in fear. I wish that it was as easy as just deciding that you're not afraid. God, how I wish it were that easy. I wouldn't be afraid of John.” Dean took a deep breath and let it out. “Just.... let me do this. I can't lose you. I can't lose you to Raph hurting you when I could protect you. I can't lose you to my own stupidity, sticking my foot in my mouth. I.. I just can't.”

Cas sighed and turned back around and started walking toward his class as he dug his nails into his arm. Dean followed behind Cas, into the classroom. Once Cas was settled, Dean gave him an apologetic look. “I'll be here after class. Promise.”  _ "I love you."  _ Cas nodded and laid his head on the desk. Dean sighed and walked out before Cas could see the tears that were ready to fall. Once out in the hallway, he let go of his restraint and allowed himself to cry.

Cas waited until he was sure Dean was far enough down the hall. He got up and grabbed his bag, then left the room. He walked to a bathroom near an exit and went inside. He pulled out his phone and texted Gabe.  _ Gabe, come get me. _

_ What about lover boy? _

_ He thinks I’m in class. I can’t be here. Please don’t make me walk. _

Gabe sighed.  _ On my way.  _ He scrolled to Dean’s name.  _ Hey, Dean-o. I’m getting Cas from school. He said you think he’s in class, but he’s not. _

Dean read the text from Gabe, thankful Gabe sent it, but hurt that Cas didn't.  _ Thanks for telling me, Gabe. Don't let him know you told me.  _

_ Uh oh. You two didn’t break up did you? _

_ God, I hope not... just, don't tell him, please. _

_ Ok, but I don’t like that you two are keeping things from each other. _

_ Me either. I'm hoping this reminds him of that. _

Gabe ran his hand over his face.  _ How was he when you last saw him? Is he cutting again? What am I walking into? You obviously had a fight. What did he do wrong? _

Dean read the text from Gabe and shook his head.  _ He's upset. He's trying to hide his feelings. He was scratching at his arm, but he promised me he wouldn't cut anymore. We did have a fight because  _ I _ fucked up. I told him to stop being afraid, to not let Raph win. He's afraid Raph will corner him alone, like Monday. I feel I need to be in class and he wanted to go home. I treated him like a child. But now, he's back to only signing and now, he's leaving without telling me. He knew I would be at his class when the bell rang to get him to the next class. I hate secrets. _

_ Gotcha. Do you want Mike to handle it when he gets home? _

_ NO!! I DO NOT want Mike to  _ handle _ anything. There's nothing to handle! I got this. Just take Cas wherever he wants to go, my house or Mike's, I don't care. Just let me know. _

_ Ok. I’m here to get him.  _ Gabe texted Cas and waited for him to come out to the car. He raised his eyebrow when Cas got in the back and curled up. “Hey, Cassie. Where do you want to go?”

_ “Home.” _

“Our home?” Cas nodded. Gabe picked his phone up.  _ Our house _ .

_ Thanks. _

Cas wiped at his eyes as Gabe drove them home. Once the car stopped, he got out and dragged his backpack into the house and straight to his bedroom. Cas closed the door and fell back against it as he began sobbing.

When class was over, Dean rushed out of the school and ran to Baby. He hopped in, started her up and threw her into gear. Dean raced to Mike's house. He parked and ran inside, straight up to Cas' room. He almost knocked on the door, but quickly decided against it. Dean switched his phone to silent and texted Cas.  _ Angel? Where are you? I changed my mind about leaving early, but you're not in class. _

Cas sobbed and banged his head hard on the door a few times when he heard Dean’s text tone. He pulled the phone from his pocket and read his text through blurry eyes.  _ Mike’s. Sorry. _

_ Dean. I have to. I’m sorry. _

Dean bit back a sob, hearing the thuds against the door. He stared at his phone as the messages from Cas appeared.  _ Have to what, Cas? Talk to me. Please, Angel. _

Cas hit his head harder.  _ Break my promise. I’m sorry.  _ He put his face in his hands as he sobbed hard enough that Dean could hear it through the door.

_ Angel. Please. _ 'Don't'

Cas hit his head harder, making him see stars.  _ He touched me. I’m sorry.  _ Cas threw his phone down and wrapped his arms around his legs as he rocked in place and sobbed.

Dean reread the message. He felt that he had to be misunderstanding what Cas was saying. Cas told him that Raph just scared him.  _ Touched you how, Angel?  _ Cas continued sobbing and rocking as he ignored the phone. Dean bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck. Then, he took a breath to center himself, raised his hand and knocked on Cas' bedroom door.

Cas picked up the phone and texted Gabe.  _ Leave me alone! _

_ I’m downstairs. That’s Dean-o. _

Cas wiped at his eyes and tried to calm himself down as he slowly got up and opened the door, keeping his eyes downcast. 'Please, Angel.' Cas fell against Dean as he sobbed.

Dean picked Cas up and carried him to the bed. After laying him down, Dean stretched out alongside his sobbing boyfriend. 'Talk to me, Angel. How did he touch you?' Cas took shaky breaths and placed his hand on Dean’s cock.

'He did that?' Dean fought to stay calm. Cas nodded and sniffled then put his hand on Dean’s ass. Dean's breath caught in his throat. He cleared his throat. 'Here too?' Cas nodded as tears rolled down his cheeks. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, then chewed on lip. Dean brushed Cas' hair back from his forehead. 'Did... did he do anything else, Angel?'

‘He...’ Cas sniffled and sighed.  _ “He said if I showed him a good time he wouldn’t hurt me again.” _

'And that's when you ran to find me during my test?' Cas nodded. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him close. 'Oh, Angel. We gotta figure out how to keep him away from you, otherwise, I'm gonna kill him.'

Cas buried his face in Dean’s shoulder. ‘I’m sorry.’

Dean smiled softly at those two words. Just hearing Cas whisper, after two days of silence, was music to Dean's ears. 'Angel, you have nothing to be sorry for. Raph has targeted you, not the other way around.'

‘I should...’ Cas swallowed down the lump in his throat. ‘I should have told you.’

Dean sighed and kissed the top of Cas' head. 'I agree that you should have told me or someone sooner. I understand why you didn't, but I'm glad you finally did, Angel.' He ran his hands down Cas' arms. 'Are... are you still gonna break your promise?'

Cas let out a little sob. ‘I need to.’

'Is there anything I can do to take away that need?'

Cas shrugged and wiped at his eyes. ‘Pain helps.’

Dean thought for a moment. “If you were to cut right now, where would you do it?” Cas didn’t even hesitate as he pointed to his inner thigh on his left leg. Dean scooted down, until he was eye level with where Cas pointed. He kissed the spot through Cas' trousers. “Right here, Angel?” Cas watched Dean and nodded.

Dean looked up at Cas and pressed his thumbnail into the spot. He gauged Cas' reaction, and seeing it wasn't giving him the relief he needed, Dean opened his mouth and bit the spot, hard. Cas gasped and bit his lip. ‘Harder.’

Dean stopped biting. “Take off your pants. Leave your boxers on.” Cas nodded and undid his pants, then pushed them off. Dean could see the faint marks from his teeth on Cas' thigh. He brushed his thumb over the spot and bit down again. 

Cas gasped and arched his back as he tangled his fingers in Dean hair. ‘Again. Higher.’

Dean pressed his thumb higher on his thigh. “Here?”

Cas whimpered. ‘Yes. Please.’ Dean bit down on the new spot, hard. Cas cried out and pulled Dean’s head higher, putting his mouth next to his dick. ‘Please.’ Dean bit where Cas moved him, not quite as hard, for fear of causing damage to Cas' groin.

Cas gasped and tightened his fingers in Dean’s hair. He pulled Dean’s head up to his abs. Dean skated his fingers over the thin, silvery scars, about an inch and a half long, running parallel like a ladder up his abs. “Where, Angel?”

Cas shivered. ‘Right there.’ Dean licked a stripe, then bit. Cas bit his lip and moaned, then pulled Dean’s head so his mouth was at his nipple. 

Dean flicked the tight nub with the tip of his tongue. “You sure?”

Cas nodded. ‘Please.’ Dean swirled his tongue around the nipple, then pulled back and blew across the flesh, making it pebble. Cas gasped and arched toward Dean’s mouth. Dean bit. Cas moaned and held Dean’s mouth to his nipple as he ran his nails up his back. ‘Touch me. Please, touch me.’

Dean slid his fingers down Cas' chest, tickling his abs. Cas let out a breath as he moved Dean’s mouth to his neck. Dean smiled and kissed at the pulse point. 'Angel.'

Cas whimpered. ‘Please.’ Dean bit down, not hard enough to break the fragile skin, but hard enough to leave marks. Cas gasped and held Dean to his neck. ‘P-please.’

Dean pressed his lips to Cas' neck before asking, 'Please, what, Angel? Tell me what you need.'

Cas whimpered. ‘Touch me. Please.’

'I am touching you, Angel.'

Cas whined and grabbed Dean’s hand and put it on his cock. ‘Touch me.’ Dean grinned and worked his hand inside Cas' boxers, to grasp the thick cock and start stroking. Cas moaned as his hips rocked into Dean’s touch.

“You still need the biting, Angel?”

Cas nodded. ‘Please. I need you inside me, too.’ Dean tilted his chin up and bit down on Cas' earlobe. He pulled away and started to strip off his clothes. Cas watched Dean and ran his hand over Dean’s chest when his shirt came off.

Dean moaned as Cas' fingers danced over his skin. He unbuckled his belt and opened his fly. “Get your boxers off and grab the lube. I wanna watch you open yourself for me.”

Cas kicked his boxers off. ‘On my knees or on my back?’

Dean kneeled, resting his ass on his heels. “However you want, Angel.”

Cas grabbed the lube and brought his knees up until he could hook them behind his shoulders. He drizzled the lube over his hole, then rubbed his fingers in the lube. ‘Do you like me like this?’

Dean's jaw dropped and he moaned. He thrust his hand in his boxers. “Fuck, Angel. You're so... bendy.” Cas locked his eyes on Dean’s as he ran his tongue over his own cock and pushed a finger into himself. Dean started stroking his cock faster, watching Cas lick the head of his cock and finger his hole. 'Fuck'

Cas bobbed his head as he added a second finger. He thrust his fingers deep into himself. Dean reached out with his free hand and ran it along Cas' ass and thigh. Cas pulled off with a pop as he thrust his fingers harder. ‘You like watching me do that, don’t you?’

“Fuck yeah.”

Cas pushed a third finger into himself. ‘I see how hard you are from it.’

Dean licked his lips as he leaned forward. Then licked a stripe up Cas' cock, from balls to tip.

Cas let his head fall back. ‘Oh, fuck.’

Dean smiled and grabbed the base of Cas' cock. “Keep working yourself open, Angel.” He sucked the head into his mouth and swirled his tongue around the head, then flicked the tip of his tongue into the slit. Cas bit his lip and moaned as he thrust his fingers deep into himself.

Dean moaned as he took more of Cas' cock into his mouth. Cas stilled his fingers and moaned. ‘You’re going to make me cum.’

Dean pulled off with a pop and tightened his grip around the base of Cas' cock. He smiled mischievously

“But you taste so good, Angel.” Dean teased the slit with the tip of his tongue.

Cas’ breath hitched. ‘I’m ok with cumming twice.’ Dean let go of his own cock, sucked Cas' cock back into his mouth, and slid his index finger alongside Cas' fingers, into his hole. Cas gasped. ‘Oh fuck.’

Dean sucked, stroked and thrust at a slow, steady pace. He hummed around Cas' cock. Cas moaned as his hips rocked. He moved his fingers with Dean’s. Dean curled his finger, pressing Cas' fingers into his prostate. Cas cried out as his orgasm shot from him, filling Dean’s mouth with cum. 

Cas' orgasm caught Dean by surprise. He caught as much of the cum as he could and held it in his mouth. Dean kept working his finger in and out. He leaned up and kissed Cas, sharing the cum with him. Cas moaned and tangled his finger in Dean’s hair, as their tongues moved the cum around in their mouths.

Dean moaned and pulled back, swallowing the cum in his mouth. “You taste so good, Angel.” He bent back down and cleaned the remaining cum from his cock and belly.

Cas swallowed and moaned. ‘You look so hot doing that.’

“Need to be in you, Angel. How do you want it?” Dean sat back and stroked his cock.

Cas pulled his fingers from himself. ‘Make love to me, please.’

'Always, Angel.' Dean stood and took off his jeans and boxers before climbing back on the bed and kissing Cas. Cas returned the kiss as he tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair. 'Do you want more lube, Angel? I know you like that added touch of pain.'

Cas swallowed hard. ‘I still need the pain.’

Dean nodded and lined his cock up. He rubbed the head over Cas' hole. 'You're so beautiful, Angel.'

Cas smiled shyly. ‘You want me to stay like this?’

Dean nodded. 'Just for now. I'll let you know when and how I want you to move.' Dean pushed the head in and pulled it back out, then rubbed over the hole again. Cas moaned and reached up to grab his ankles.

Dean pushed the head in again, slowly, then stopped. 'Fuck, you're so tight.' After he adjusted to Cas flexing the muscles in his ass, Dean slowly pushed all the way in and stopped again.

Cas hissed softly. ‘You feel so good.’

Dean panted. 'You too, Angel.' He kissed Cas deeply. Dean started to moved in and out at a slow pace. 'Wrap your legs around my hips, Angel.' Cas shifted so he could bring his legs down, then wrapped them around Dean’s hips.

Dean moaned at the change in angle. He started moving slightly faster. 'Yeah, that's so good. Mmmmm.. squeeze your legs tighter, Angel.' Cas moaned as he hooked his ankles together and squeezed.

'Oh, yeah, that's perfect.' Dean kissed and nibbled at Cas' jaw, then down his neck. He grabbed Cas' biceps, pushed them down and squeezed. Cas tried to move his arms. His eyes fluttered shut when he realized Dean had them pinned down. He moaned and tilted his head, giving Dean better access to his neck.

'I love you, Cas.' He bit down on the spot where Cas' neck meets his shoulder. 

Cas gasped and tried to press his body closer to Dean’s. ‘I love you too, Dean.’

Dean snapped his hips harder and faster. He kissed and nibbled and bit across Cas' shoulders, neck and chest. Cas cried out as he rocked his hips, meeting Dean’s thrusts.

As Dean got closer to climax, he let go of one arm and grabbed Cas' cock and stroked it in rhythm with his own thrusts. 'Close... I'm close, Angel' He sucked a mark to Cas' neck. Cas nodded and didn’t move his arm when Dean let go of it. He cried out as his orgasm tore through him. 

Dean felt Cas tighten his legs around his hips and his ass around his cock as he came. Dean thrust in as deep as he could and came with a growl. Cas moaned and tightened his legs more, forcing Dean even deeper.

“Fuck, yes, Angel. You feel so good wrapped around me.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s lips as he tried to move the arm that was still pinned, then glanced at it. ‘You pinning me down was so fucking hot, Dean.’

Dean looked at Cas' arm, gave it a final squeeze and released it, as he collapsed onto Cas' chest. ‘Yeah. I hoped it would add the right amount of pain for you.'

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. ‘It wasn’t just the pain. It was also the feeling of being restrained.’

'Good to know. It's definitely a better alternative than cutting.... and it's more fun too.'

Cas ran his fingers over Dean’s spine. ‘The biting gave me that sharp pain that I need.’

Dean sighed and melted into Cas. 'I love that you play soccer because it's made your legs so strong. When they wrap around me... fuck... it's amazing.'

Cas’ fingers continued to idly run up and down Dean’s spine as he wrapped his legs around him. ‘Even like this, or just during sex?’

'Mmmm... anytime, Angel.'

Cas smiled and kissed Dean softly as he squeezed him with his legs. ‘I like squeezing you tight when you’re buried deep inside me. I love that I can force you just a little deeper.’

'Yeah. That  _ is _ nice. Of course, I wouldn't be opposed to having you climb on my back, like a spider monkey, and wrap those legs around me. I could carry you around school like a backpack.' Dean laughed at the thought.

Cas snorted. ‘I wouldn’t be against doing that.’

Dean grinned and kissed Cas. “Let me up a second, Angel.” Cas dropped his legs and Dean scooted off the bed. He tugged Cas to the edge of the bed, leaned down, slid his arms under Cas' back and lifted him up. Cas wrapped his arms and legs around Dean and Dean carried him to the bathroom.

Cas kissed Dean’s neck then made him turn his head and kissed him deeply. Dean set Cas down on the countertop and slid his tongue alongside Cas'. Cas moaned softly as he tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair.

Dean kissed and licked down Cas' neck and chest, lapping up as much of the drying cum as he could. “Should have done this sooner... it's starting to dry.”

Cas smiled and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. ‘That tends to happen.’

Dean laughed. “Brat!”

Cas stuck his tongue out at Dean, then caressed his cheek. ‘Thank you.’

Dean leaned into the caress. “Of course. I love you, Angel. Thank you for letting me help you.”

Cas held his hand to Dean’s cheek as he ran his thumb over his lips. ‘I’ll always accept your help.’

Dean nodded. “Just don't shut me out, Ok?”

‘I’ll try not to.’

Dean stepped away and turned on the shower to let it heat up. Cas bit his lip and smacked Dean’s ass. Dean yelped and his dick twitched at the sudden sting. Cas smirked. ‘Sorry. I couldn’t help it.’

Dean smiled and wiggled his ass at Cas. “Yeah, my ass is pretty irresistible.”

Cas smacked Dean’s ass again. ‘Very irresistible.’ Dean sucked in a sharp breath and rubbed his ass. His dick twitched again and started to fill. ‘Mmmmm. You like that, don’t you?’

“Kinda. It stings, but feels good in a way.”

‘Your dick is very interested.’

Dean looked down and snickered. “Well, I know he likes you, Angel.”

Cas smacked Dean’s ass again while Dean was looking at his cock. ‘I think he more than likes me, Honeybee.’

Dean rested his hands on Cas' hips. “He's not alone in that.” He nuzzled into Cas' neck. “Let's hop in the shower and rinse off, Angel.”

Cas nodded and hopped off the counter. He gave Dean’s dick a little tug, then got into the shower. Dean whimpered and gave a full-body shudder, before joining Cas under the spray. “I love you, Angel.”

Cas smiled and ran his hand over Dean’s chest. ‘I love you too, Honeybee.’ Dean's dick jumped at the nickname. Cas smirked and nibbles on Dean’s earlobe. ‘Honeybee.’

Dean moaned 'Love it when you say that. You're the only one that calls me Honeybee.'

Cas ran his tongue over the shell of Dean’s ear. ‘Honeybee.’

'Need you.'

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. ‘You need to be inside me again?’

Dean looked into Cas' eyes, shyly and shook his head. 'Need you in me, Cas.'

Cas smiled and ran his hand over Dean’s ass. ‘Want me to open you up?’ Dean nodded. Cas ran his fingers in the cleft of Dean’s ass, then gently pushed the tip of one into him. ‘You never expected to like having me inside you, did you?’

Dean clung to Cas' shoulders and bit his lip. He moaned at the sensation of the finger breaching his hole. 'No, but I'm glad I let you show me how good it is.'

Cas smiled. ‘Me too.’ He said as he pushed his finger deeper, then pulled it out.

Dean whined at the loss of the finger. 'Angel... please...'

‘Just need lube, Honeybee.’ Cas said as he put lube on his fingers and pushed one deep into Dean.

Dean moaned and pushed back. “Yeah... yeah... oohhhh... Angel…” Cas thrust his finger deep into Dean, adding a second and pressing against Dean’s spot. Dean squeaked, then chuckled. “Bed, please Angel.... oh, God, yeah.... before I... ugh... fall down…”

Cas snorted and pulled his fingers from Dean. ‘So much for rinsing off.’

“We rinsed... sort of.” He laughed. Cas shook his head and turned the water off. He pulled Dean out of the shower. He tossed a towel at Dean’s face, then dried himself off. Dean dried himself quickly, then pulled Cas in for a deep, slow kiss. Cas moaned softly as he pushed the tip of his finger into Dean.

Dean moaned and lifted one leg up and put it around Cas' hip. 'Think you can carry me, my Angel?'

Cas smirked. ‘Hop on.’

Dean braced himself on Cas' shoulders and hopped up into his hands, wrapping his legs around Cas' waist. 'Mmmm... so strong.’ Dean bent his head and nibbled on Cas' ear. Cas moaned and ran his hands over Dean’s ass, then pushed two fingers back into him.

Dean's breath hitched, his hips bucked and he tightened his hold on Cas' shoulders. Cas slowly thrust his fingers into Dean, making sure they rubbed his spot, as he nibbled on his neck. ‘Bet I can fuck you like this.’

Dean moaned. 'Fuck... please, Angel.'

Cas pushed a third finger into Dean. ‘Standing or on the bed?’

Dean panted and twitched. 'Don't care... need you... please, Cas.'

Cas thrust his fingers into Dean, then removed them. He shifted Dean’s hips and pushed his cock into his boyfriend. Cas nibbled on Dean’s neck. ‘Ride me, Cowboy.’ Cas said as he backed Dean against the wall.

Dean mewled and rocked his hips. 'Are you my bucking bronco? God, you feel so good... fuck me.' Cas grabbed Dean’s hips and started thrusting deep into him. Dean clutched Cas' shoulder with one hand, while reaching above his head with the other, searching for something to hold on to and pull himself up with. “Yes, Angel, just like that.”

Cas thrust deeper and harder into Dean, hitting his spot. “Harder, yeah.. fuck me harder, Angel.” Cas snapped his hips harder and faster as he bit Dean’s neck, then sucked on it. Dean cried out as Cas pounded his prostate. “Fuck... not gonna last... so good…”

Cas thrust harder and faster. ‘Stroke yourself. Make yourself cum.’

Dean reached between them to stroke his cock. He leaned his head back and gasped. “Angel.. Love you.. damn, you're so strong... fuck me so good…” Cas shifted Dean’s hips and his angle as he started pounding against his spot. Dean stroked faster. “Oh God... gonna... gonna cum... oh, Caaaassss!!!” He came hard, shooting his cum up to Cas' chin.

Cas opened his mouth, catching as much cum as he could. He thrust harder, crying out as he thrust as deep as he could into Dean and filled him with his cum. Dean shoved his tongue into Cas' mouth, moaning as Cas' cum shot deep inside him. Cas moaned and held himself deep inside Dean as he tangled their tongues together. He ran his hand over Dean’s ass, then ran his fingers over his stretched hole.

Dean whimpered at the touch. He felt Cas' legs start to tremble. Dean pulled back. “Angel, do you need to put me down? I don't want you to hurt yourself.”

Cas shook his head as he continued to run his fingers over where they were joined. ‘I’ve got you. Not ready for this to be over yet.’

“Can you keep going, Angel?”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. ‘If that’s what you’re wanting.’

“Always want you. You feel so good inside me.” Dean tangled his fingers in Cas' hair. “Can we move to the bed? I want you on your back while I ride you.”

Cas smirked. ‘Should we grab your hat so you can be a proper cowboy, Sheriff?’

“That's where my hat went.” Dean laughed

Cas smirked. ‘I may have stolen it. Think you can hold on for the ride, Sheriff?’ Dean nodded and tightened his grip on Cas' shoulders. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean as he walked into the bedroom, then into the closet. ‘Reach up there.’

Dean reached up and grabbed his hat from the shelf and put it on. “How many other things have you stolen? Do I need to put you under arrest?” He laughed.

Cas smirked. ‘Do you want to arrest me?’

“Unless you wanna work out a deal.” Dean winked.

Cas ran his fingers down to Dean’s hole and ran his fingers over the stretched skin. ‘What kind of deal are we talking about?’

Dean thought for a moment. “I get to ride you and cum whenever I want, but you don't get to cum until I tell you... no cock ring either.”

Cas’ eyes widened slightly and he swallowed hard. ‘Ok, Sheriff.’

“On the bed. It's time to ride.” Cas nodded and took Dean over to the bed. He sat and waited for Dean to straddle him before laying back on the bed. Cas looked up at Dean as he ran his hands over his legs.

Dean held Cas' cock steady as he sank down and started to ride. He reached for Cas' hands and laced their fingers together. Cas moaned and thrust up into Dean. Dean squeezed Cas' hands to get his attention, then shook his head. “Nuh-uh. You stay still. I control the speed.”

Cas whimpered and nodded. ‘Yes, Sheriff.’

Dean lifted himself up slowly, then dropped down quickly. He circled his hips, then lifted slowly again. Cas moaned and tightened his grip on Dean’s hands as he willed himself to not move. “Talk to me, Angel. Tell me how it feels. Tell me what you want and need.”

Cas moaned and dug his heels into the bed. ‘Feels so good, Dean.’

Dean grinned. “You do too.... stroke me, not too fast, though.”

‘Yes, Sheriff.’ Cas let go of one of Dean’s hands and started stroking him nice and slow, just how he knew Dean liked it.

“Yeah, that's good.” Dean continued moving, riding his boyfriend slowly. “Tell me what you need.”

Cas moaned as he continued to stroked Dean. ‘You. I just need you.’

Dean nodded. He moved Cas' other hand to his hip. “Hold me here.” Dean then reached out to caress Cas' chest, as well as brace himself as he leaned forward.

Cas caressed Dean’s hip as he stroked him. ‘You’re so fucking sexy with that hat on.’

The change in angle made Dean moan as he fucked himself on Cas' cock. “You'd look so good in chaps, with nothing underneath.”

Cas moaned and dug his fingers into Dean’s hip. ‘So...so would you. Oh fuck...’

Dean leaned back and braced his hands just above Cas' knees. He hissed as Cas brushed his prostate with his cock. “Fuck, Angel. I love the way you fill me so perfectly.” Cas moaned and stroked Dean harder as his hips involuntary thrust up into him.

Dean cried out at the sudden sensation. “Unghh... hold still, Angel. Ca.. can you do that?”

Cas dug his nails into Dean’s hip. ‘S-sorry, Sheriff. I’m trying.’

“It's ok. I know it's tough, desperado. Can you tell me your color?” Dean realized he needed to check in, since they found themselves in a scene.

Cas nodded. ‘Green, Sheriff.’ Dean smiled and resumed riding Cas. Cas moaned and stroked Dean again. 

“Faster, Desperado. Make me cum.” Dean kept his pace slow and steady. Cas chewed on his lip as he stroked Dean hard and fast. Dean tightened around Cas' cock as he neared his orgasm, but his speed never faltered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck... gonna cum... n-now!” He shot cum across Cas' chest.

Cas whimpered and dug his nails into Dean’s hip as he willed himself not to cum. Dean twitched and shuddered, aftershocks pulsed through his body. He stilled and studied Cas' face. “You're doing so good, Angel.”

Cas squeezed his eyes shut as he took slow, deep breaths. His hand moved from Dean’s cock to his other hip and he grabbed him hard with his nails digging in just as much as the other hand was. Dean swiped the fingers of both hands through the cum on Cas' chest. He held one hand out to Cas and brought the other to his own lips. “Open your eyes, desperado.” 

Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean, then at his cum covered fingers. He opened his mouth and held his tongue out. Dean slid the fingers into Cas' mouth at the same time he slid fingers into his own mouth. He kept his eyes locked with Cas and sucked the cum off greedily. Cas closed his lips around Dean’s fingers, sucking on them as he swirled his tongue around them. “God, Cas, Angel, your mouth is sinful.” 

Cas smirked around Dean’s fingers as he swirled his tongue around them, then between them. Dean started rocking his hips back and forth. “Fuck me, Angel. Fill me with your cum.”

Cas held onto Dean’s hips as he started thrusting up into him hard. Dean braced his hands on Cas' chest. He cried out with every thrust. “Yeah, yeah, fuck me hard. Cum in me, Angel!”

Cas thrust deeper and harder into Dean as he adjusted his hips so he’d hit his spot on each thrust. He moaned as he watched Dean getting hard again. Dean groaned. His cock filled again as Cas pounded his prostate. “Fuck, I can't believe how hard you make me all the time, Angel.”

Cas pounded harder against Dean’s spot. ‘You have to keep your gun loaded, Sheriff.’

Dean whined, then laughed. “Might end up shooting blanks, desperado.”

Cas slammed against Dean’s spot harder. ‘Should you really shoot blanks when I have a full gun?’

“Do you plan on trying to escape? Oh, fuck, right there.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s cock and stroked him hard as he slammed into him harder. ‘I might.’

Dean squeezed his thighs tight around Cas' hips. “Guess you're gonna have to shoot me, then, huh?”

Cas thrust harder as he stroked Dean hard. ‘Mmmhmmm and you’re going to shoot me, Sheriff.’

Dean whined and panted. “So close, Angel. Need you to cum for me.” Cas let go of Dean’s hip, allowing him to bounce freely. He ran his hand over his ass, then ran his fingers over his stretched rim. He stroked Dean harder as he hit his spot hard and cried out when his orgasm shot from him. 

Cas' cum painted Dean's insides. Feeling the warmth spread, as Cas' cock pulsed and throbbed, ripped Dean's orgasm from him with a long shout. Cas pulled Dean down, kissing him deeply as he knocked the hat off Dean’s head and tangled his fingers in his hair.

Dean slid his arms under Cas' back and rolled them over. Cas moaned and tugged on Dean’s hair as he tangled his tongue with Dean’s. Dean gasped as Cas' cock slipped out of his ass and cum began to leak out.

Cas pulled back a little and gently caressed Dean’s cheek. ‘I love you, Sheriff.’

'I love you too, desperado.' Dean stared long into Cas' eyes. 'You are a thief, ya know. You stole my heart.'

Cas grinned. ‘You stole mine, too.’

As they lay there, kissing and licking each other clean, they whispered softly, talked passionately, cuddled and petted. Together, they drifted to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas tells Dean how he feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”  
>  Typing/Writing_

Cas sat in his bedroom with his phone in his hand. He opened the voice recorder and hit the button to record, then immediately stopped it. Dean wanted to hear his voice. He knew he did. He wanted to do everything he could to make that possible. Cas swallowed hard and hit the button again.

“I love you, Dean.”

He hit the stop button and played it back, frowning at how horrible his voice sounded. The few times he’d used his voice around Dean, Dean’s face had lit up. Why would Dean be so happy to hear him if he sounded like that? Cas cleared his throat and hit the button again.

“I love you, Dean”

Cas stopped the recording again and frowned at his voice. He tried this over and over until he thought he was sounding close to normal.

Gabe watched from the crack in the door, where he was filming it all. He stopped the film when he saw Cas was about to try again.

“That sounded pretty close to how you used to sound.”

Cas jumped and glared at the door.  _ “Why are you listening in, you asshole?” _

Gabe pushed the door open while rolling his eyes. “Please. Don’t act like you can’t speak. You want to sound normal for him? You have to use your voice more.”

‘I don’t want to sound stupid.’

Gabe sat beside Cas, wrapping his arm around him. “You could never sound stupid, little bro.” Gabe gave Cas a little squeeze. “I knew he’d be good for you.”

Cas smiled softly as he flipped his phone in his hands.

“Thinking about sending him a voicemail?”

Cas nodded. ‘Yeah. Is that a stupid idea?’

Gabe hugged Cas close again. “Nah. I’ll leave you to it.” Gabe walked to the door and started to pull it closed. “It’ll mean the world to him, Cassie. He’ll never delete it. I know if I was him, I wouldn’t.”

Cas smiled softly. “Thanks.”

Gabe smiled and blinked back tears. “You sound perfect. Call him. Tell him how much he means to you.”

Cas looked down at his phone and chewed on his lip as his door closed. He listened to the last recording, finding that Gabe was right, it did sound like him. He took a deep breath and tapped on Dean’s name, crossing his fingers that he wasn’t on a break and able to answer. He smiled when he heard Dean’s voicemail message and took a deep breath.

“I love you, Dean. I wasn’t planning on saying more, but I’ll just go until my voice won’t let me. Sorry if it sounds a little rough, but this is as close as I can get right now. You mean the world to me, Dean. You’re everything I ever wanted in a lover and then some. When I’m with you, I feel whole. When we make love, I feel like we’re one with each other. I don’t want this to ever end. I love you so much, Dean.” Cas coughed and rubbed his throat. “I love you.” ‘I love you.’

Cas quickly hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed. He put his face in his hands and took deep shaky breaths. He’d spoke for Dean. Not only had he used his voice, he recorded it. What if it’d changed at some point and sounded horrible? He glanced through his fingers at his door, which was still cracked. 

‘Gabe?’

Gabe pushed the door open, wiping his eyes. “It was perfect, Cas. I knew you’d worry so…” Gabe hit play on the video and Cas smiled as he watched. He wiped away his own tears as he looked at his brother.

‘I sounded ok until the end.’

“Yeah. You did.” Gabe gently punched Cas’ shoulder. “So how long have you been doing this whispering shit?”

Cas chewed on his bottom lip. ‘Since the first time I tutored Dean.’

“Really? You couldn’t talk to us?”

Cas shrugged. ‘It was something only he and I shared.’

Gabe shook his head. “So, when do you think lover boy will hear it?”

Cas shrugged and looked at the time. ‘He takes his lunch in 30 minutes, so maybe then?’

“So expect him to come racing through the door in 35?”

Cas rolled his eyes. ‘It’s a 15 minute drive.’

“Ok, so 37 minutes.”

————

Dean set down the tools he’d been working with and sighed. Rufus’ old Mustang was definitely giving him a run for his money. Dean rubbed his face and groaned when he remembered he’d promised Cas that they’d have dinner together after work. With how things were going, there was no way he’d be home in time for that.

Dean pulled out his phone, furrowing his brow when he had a missed call from Cas. He opened up his voicemail expecting a butt dial. When Cas’ voice filled Dean’s ears, he stumbled back against the Mustang with tears in his eyes. Dean played the message a second time, then wiped the tears from his face and ran to the house, bursting through the door.

“Sammy! You gotta save something for me! It can’t just be a voicemail! I can’t ever lose this!”

“Uh, ok. What is it?”

“Cas spoke! He said he loves me! You gotta save it!”

“What? Really? Let me hear.”

Dean hit the play button, wiping his tears as he listened to the message again and again.

“If you want me to save it, then you’ll have to hand it over, Dean.” Dean handed the phone to Sam and watched as he worked. “Ok. It’s saved.”

“What’re you still doing here? Go get him, ya idjit.” Bobby said from the doorway.

“But I’m in the middle of…”

“You ain’t in the middle of nothing. Now git!”

“Thanks, Bobby!” Dean yelled as he grabbed his phone and ran out to his car. He started her, throwing her into drive and flooring it. Dean raced through town, praying no officers would see him. He pulled up at Cas’ house and threw Baby into park and jumped out, running up to the door.

Dean started to knock, then noticed the note from Gabe.

_ Go get him, Tiger. _

Dean rushed into the house, taking the steps two at a time, he pushed open Cas’ door and hurried over to his boyfriend, kissing him deeply as he moved so he was on top of him. Dean pulled back, smiling at Cas. “Say it again!” He quickly put his fingers over Cas’ lips when he started to open them. “No. Your throat probably hurts.”

Cas laughed softly and kissed Dean’s fingers, then pulled his hand away. “I love you, Dean.”

Dean smiled even wider. “I love you too, Angel.”

Cas gently brushed Dean’s hair behind his ear as he chewed on his lip. “Fuck me? Please?”

Dean kissed Cas' throat, gently. “Yeah, Angel. Need to be in you.”

Cas tilted his head giving Dean better access. “Too many clothes.”

Dean laughed and pulled back. He started removing Cas' shirt. “I guess that would help, huh?”

Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. “Maybe a little.”

“You're so beautiful, my Angel. How do you want to do this?”

Cas gently ran his fingers over Dean’s lips. “I want you to show me how much you liked the voicemail.”

Dean dropped to his knees, gently opened Cas' jeans and pulled him out. He stroked Cas' cock and licked a stripe from root to tip. Cas moaned and gripped the sheets. “Fuck, Dean.”

Dean looked up at Cas through his lashes. “Like that, Angel?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah.”

Dean swirled his tongue around the head. “Mmm, you taste so good. I heard that message and I couldn't wait to be with you.”

Cas forced his hips not to buck up into Dean as he swallowed hard. “I was scared to send it. I didn’t know if you’d like it.”

He tugged Cas' jeans down and off. Dean settled back between Cas' spread legs. “It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.” He said before he sucked Cas' hard cock into his mouth and sunk down as far as he could.

Cas groaned as he tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair. ‘Fuck.’

Dean gagged slightly, but he didn't let that stop him. He pulled back, took a breath, relaxed and slid back down, taking Cas deeper every time he bobbed his head.

Cas moaned as his hips bucked. “Feels so good, Dean.”

Dean pulled off with a pop. “Do you want to cum in my mouth or with me in you, Angel?”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “With you.”

“Do you need me to stop while I stretch you?” Cas chewed on his lip and shook his head. Dean smiled and reached into the nightstand for the lube. “You tell me if I need to stop, OK?”

Cas nodded. “Ok.”

Dean swirled his tongue around the head, then sunk down on Cas' cock again and hummed when he got low. He slicked a finger with lube and teased Cas' hole with gentle pressure. Cas gasped and tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair. “Please, Dean, please.”

Dean kept humming as he continued to bob up and down. He pressed his finger inside, slowly, enjoying the fluttery feeling of Cas' hole. Cas groaned and pushed back against Dean’s finger as he tried to get more friction.

Dean pulled back and chuckled. “Patience, Angel. I'm not gonna rush prepping you. Let me take my time and worship you.” He added more lube to his fingers and slid a second in alongside the first. “God, that's gorgeous.” He sunk back down and continued sucking and humming.

Cas whimpered as he rocked his hips. “Dean...I need...fuck…”

Dean stopped and pulled back, still thrusting his fingers in and out. “Need me to stop?”

“I need…” Cas shook his head as he bit his lip. “Don’t stop.”

“Angel? What do you need? Tell me?”

Cas shook his head. “I don’t want to ruin it. Please don’t stop.”

Dean looked intently at his boyfriend. “Don't hide what you want from me? I want to take care of you.... Please?”

Cas chewed on his lip and looked away. ‘I want you to use your tongue.’

Dean looked confused for a moment. He thought he was using his tongue. Then it dawned on him, Cas wanted him to use his tongue to stretch him. “I.. Angel, I've never done that before... umm…”

Cas closed his eyes and sighed. ‘I know. I told you I didn’t want to say it because it would ruin it.’

Dean slipped his fingers out and dug into the drawer, whispering to himself, 'I know I saw it.' “Ah-ha!” He pulled out the tube of strawberry flavored lube. “I might not be good, Angel, but I'm willing to try.”

Cas shook his head. ‘You don’t have to.’

Dean shushed Cas. “I want to give you everything you want. I mean, I never had sex with a man before you, and you've seen how much I love that.” He licked teasingly across Cas' balls and up his softening cock.   
“Just because I haven't done it before, doesn't mean I don't want to try.”

Cas gasped and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I’d...I’d never tried it until you. I just...I want to know how it feels since you seem to love it.”

Dean nodded and poured some of the flavored lube on his fingers and Cas' twitching hole. He slid two fingers in and scissored them, helping to spread the lube. He took a deep breath and swiped his tongue along the edge of Cas' opening. Cas gasped and pulled his knees to his chest. “Fuck…”

Dean pulled his fingers out and dove back in, licking and pushing his tongue deep into Cas' welcoming heat. “Oh, Dean…” Cas moaned as he practically folded himself in half.

Dean moaned and slid his fingers in beside his tongue. He continued to stretch his lover, anxious to get inside. “Oh, that's... mmmm... like this. Making me so hard, Angel.”

Cas looked at Dean with half lidded eyes. “Dean, I....ohhhhhh...yes... Fuck, yes. Fuck me, Dean.”

Dean slid a third finger in, making sure Cas was truly stretched. “Ready for me, Angel?” Not waiting for an answer, Dean stood and shoved his jeans down his thighs. He spread some of the lube on his cock and pushed the head against Cas' hole.

Cas let go of his legs and wrapped them around Dean, urging him to sink into him as he grabbed the hem of Dean’s shirt and tugged it off of him. “Always ready for you.”

Dean pushed in slowly, as he kissed Cas' neck and jaw. “Love you so much, Cas, my Angel. You feel so good, I don't know how long I'm gonna last.”

Cas wrapped his legs tightly around Dean. “Then don’t move.” Cas grabbed Dean’s head, pulling their mouths together. He licked into Dean’s mouth, moaning when he tasted the lube and himself on Dean’s tongue.

Dean kissed and nipped at Cas' lips until he couldn't take it any longer. “Angel, sweetheart, I gotta move. You feel so good around me that I just gotta.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s lower lip and tugged on it as he ground his ass against Dean then clenched his muscles around Dean’s hard cock. “You going to be able to fuck me for a while?”

Dean moaned and thrust shallowly into Cas. “God, I hope so, Angel. I love being inside you.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s swollen lips as he relaxed his legs, keeping them around Dean, but not restricting his movements. He leaned toward Dean’s ear and tugged on the lobe. ‘Fuck me.’

Dean set a slow pace, touching and kissing Cas wherever he could reach. “I love you... So perfect... My Angel... Love you…”

Cas moaned and tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair. “Oh, Dean... So big... Ohhhhh... Yes, oh god…”

Dean sped up his thrusts. “Cum for me Angel. I'm so close.” Dean looked at Cas face and saw a slight frown. He slowed down and let himself ease back from the edge of orgasm. “What is it, Angel? Am I hurting you?”

Cas shook his head as he looked away. ‘I wanted you to fuck me.’

Dean turned Cas' head to face him. “Cas, look at me, Angel. Were you wanting it rough?”

Cas kept his eyes downcast as he nodded slightly. ‘I’m not going to break.’

Dean kissed Cas and growled. He pulled back, grabbed Cas' hips and started thrusting roughly into his boyfriend. “You only had to ask. I want to give you what you need, Angel.” Dean grunted as his hips hit Cas’ ass. “You feel so fucking good. So tight around my cock.”

Cas cried out and rocked his hips hard in time with Dean’s thrusts. “Oh fuck, Dean. Harder.”

Dean thrust harder and faster, and as he got closer to his own climax, he stroked Cas' cock at the same, brutal pace. “Fuck. So close, Cas. Cum with me.”

Cas’ back arched off the bed and he let out a silent scream as he came when Dean slammed against his prostate, causing him to see stars. Dean grunted and thrust twice more as he felt Cas tighten around him. He buried himself deep and came with a loud moan. He carefully pulled out and got back on his knees between Cas' legs. He licked Cas' cum from his belly, then moved down and began to lick his cum from Cas' hole. “Mmm... we taste so good together, Angel.”

Cas shivered at the sensation of Dean’s tongue lapping at his hole. He took deep, shaky breaths as he carded his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. ‘I’ve never...’ Cas swallowed hard and cleared his throat with a wince. “I’ve never cum that hard before.”

When Dean was satisfied that he had cleaned away the last of his cum, he crawled back up on the bed and pulled Cas close to his chest. “Me either, Angel. Everything I feel with you is so much more intense and pure. Rest your voice now. I want to hear you again when we wake up. I love you Castiel.”

Cas snuggled against Dean, kissing his chest. “I love you too, Dean.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have breakfast at the Novak house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”  
>  Typing/Writing_

Cas woke up and smiled when he felt Dean’s hand on his back. He swallowed hard. “Dean?”

Dean sighed and tightened his hold on Cas. “That is the most beautiful sound. Good morning, Angel.” He said before he kissed Cas softly.

Cas slowly pulled back and smiled at Dean. “Good morning, Honeybee.”

“Did you sleep well?”

Cas snuggled against Dean. “I always do when you’re holding me.” He sighed happily. “Last night was amazing. Thank you.”

Dean kissed the top of Cas' head. “I do too. I could stay like this forever.” Dean shifted to hold Cas closer. “Last night was better than amazing. I love when you tell me what you like.”

Cas glanced up at Dean then looked back down. “You do? I, uh, I didn’t even know if I’d like it. I just knew I wanted to try it since you like it so much.”

“I love it when you do things like that to me. I'm just afraid I won't be that good at first. It's all so new to me.”

Cas furrowed his brow a little. “....It’s new to me, too.”

Dean gasped in shock and pulled back to look into Cas' eyes. “But I thought you and Balthazar…”

“That we what? That he’d blow me and use his tongue to stretch me? Or that he’d let me do something like that to him?” Cas huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes. “He’d fuck me, Dean. Sometimes it’d be my mouth, sometimes my ass, but it wasn’t anything special.”

Dean shook his head, sighed and pulled Cas back to him. “I'm sorry, Angel. I shouldn't have assumed. You have all those toys, you know what you want me to do to you, you're soooo good at what you do to me. I just figured it was because of your relationship with Balth.”

Cas pulled away a little. “How much sex did you think I had with him in the four months we went out?”

Dean thought for a moment, doing the math in his head. “Well, based on how often we have sex... I'd guess quite a bit. But, from the look on your face, I'm wrong. How... uh.. how much sex DID you have with him? God, I can't believe I'm asking for details about you and your ex-boyfriend's sex life.”

“Ten times, Dean, ten. And the last time he hurt me because I wouldn’t stop bitching about needing him.”

“WHAT? He HURT you!?” Dean growled low in his throat. Cas began to pull away, causing Dean to stop and take a calming breath. “Sorry, Cas. It makes me angry to think about anyone hurting my Angel. What do you mean by "bitching about needing him"?”

Cas sighed and rested his forehead on Dean’s chest. “I... The toys weren’t enough. I needed him. I wanted him to hold me and make love to me like you do. He just wanted me on my hands and knees like usual. He got mad that I was begging him to let me be on my back.”

“How? How did he hurt you? I need to know how much I get to hurt him.”

Cas swallowed hard and took a shaky breath. “He... he didn’t use enough lube. It was all he had left, but it wasn’t enough.”

“He wasn't much of a boy scout, huh?” Dean let out a shaky laugh. He tried to tell himself it was just a rookie mistake, but he knew the truth. Balthazar hurt Cas intentionally. “You know I'd never do that to you, right?”

Cas nodded against Dean’s chest. “It wasn’t his fault, I know I’m a slut.”

“You've said that before. Why do you call yourself a slut, Angel? Having sex 10 times in 4 months isn't slutty behavior.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Balth always called me a slut because I always wanted sex, and when he wasn’t interested, I watched porn and used toys. I must be a slut because I do all those things.”

Dean kissed Cas softly, then chuckled. “Angel, if wanting sex, watching porn and using toys made someone a slut, 95% of the world would be sluts and people wouldn't get anything else done. Listen to me. You are NOT a slut. You're a normal, hormone-ridden American male. I watch porn, use toys and want to make love to you all the time. Am I a slut?”

Cas let out a small sob and shook his head. “I... I don’t tell you every time I need you or how I need you because I don’t want you to say the same thing.”

Dean brushed the tears from Cas' face. “Angel, I could never think of you like that. Sluts are people who would fuck anyone, just to get off. You don't do that.” Dean waited until Cas' breathing evened out some. “I am a little disappointed that you don't let me know when you need me. I love it when you tell me how to please you. I need to know these things. All I want is for you to be happy, Angel.”

Cas buried his face in Dean’s shoulder and cried. “I d-don’t want to disa-appoint you.”

“The only way you can disappoint me is by hiding from me. Let me in. Let me get to know you in every way possible. I promise to do the same for you. If you want me to fuck you hard and fast, tell me. If you want soft, gentle love-making, say the word. Want me to tie you up and tease you for hours, then we will skip school until you're sated.” Dean brushed his hand through Cas' hair. “Of course, the same goes for me. If I want you to ride my cock like a cowboy or pound my ass or use that vibrating plug on me at school, I need to be able to tell you. Can we do that, Angel?”

Cas hiccuped and nodded. “Y-yeah.”

“And no more talk of being a slut. OK? You are perfect, my Angel. I will remind you of that every second of every day if I have to. I love you so much.”

Cas wiped at his eyes. ‘I’ll try.’

Dean smiled and nodded, he looked into his lover's eyes. “That's all I ask. I know it's not going to be easy. It won't be easy for me either. Neither one of us is used to being this open and honest with someone. As long as we try, it will all work out.”

Cas nodded and swallowed hard. “I liked... I liked how you came in here yesterday and pushed me back on the bed. I should have said I wanted it rough, but I thought telling you to fuck me and yanking your shirt off would be enough. I loved everything we did...I just wanted it to all be like it was at the end.”

Dean smiled. “Yeah, that was really nice. I was being gentle because I didn't want to hurt you. Being rough isn't something I would want to do all the time, but, on occasion, it's fantastic.” He nibbled lightly on Cas' neck. “You know what I liked? Eating you out. Both before and after. I hope I did ok.”

Cas tilted his head as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “It was amazing. You almost made me cum from just your tongue.”

Dean blushed at the praise. “Definitely something we will have to do more often. But, right now, let's go raid the kitchen. I'm starving. Do you have any pie?”

“We should have some apple pie, unless Gabe ate it all, but we definitely have bacon, eggs, and toast.”

Dean got out of the bed and pulled Cas up with him. “Mmm... Apple pie AND bacon? What are we waiting for, Angel?”

Cas laughed softly. “Pants, at least. I don’t need my brother checking you out.”

Dean looked down at their naked bodies and laughed. “I dunno. We could give them a show. Nah, don't want them getting jealous of all this.” He grabbed his jeans from the floor and saw how dirty they were. “Got anything a little less grime-covered?”

“No. I don’t need Gabe to see you naked. He’s already said you look like you have the perfect ass for spanking.” Cas said as he rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, then pointed at the dresser. “Right side is yours.”

“Mine? Angel, have you been sneaking my clothes over here?”

“What? No. I bought some stuff in case you ever stayed the night here and needed clothes.” Cas shrugged. “That doesn’t happen very often.”

“Wait, why would Gabe want to spank my ass? Which, by the way, would never happen. The only one laying a finger on this ass is you, Angel.” Dean walked over to the dresser and found boxers, jeans and a t-shirt to wear. “Like I said before, you're perfect.” He kissed Cas deeply before getting dressed.

Cas blinked and cleared his throat. “Gabe, uh, he never said he wanted to spank you. He just said you had the perfect ass for being spanked.” Cas grabbed his own clothes and pulled them on while he watched Dean. “Do you like them?”

Dean blushed and cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah, the clothes are great. Cas? Do you.. um.. Do you want to spank me? I mean, not now, but sometime?”

Cas’ eyes widened slightly. “...Do you want me to?”

Dean blushed again. “I don't know. I've never had a sexy spanking. We could try someday. If we don't like it, we don't have to do it again, right?”

Cas smirked and swatted Dean’s ass. “Right.”

Dean yelped and chased Cas out of the room, laughing. “Sneaky bastard.”

Cas smirked as he grabbed Dean’s ass and squeezed. “So you do like getting spanked.”

“Definitely something to explore.” Dean licked into Cas' mouth as he squeezed Cas' ass in return.

“Morning Dean-o, Cassie. Is my breakfast in the way? Do I need to clear a space so you can grope each other on the table?”

Cas jumped and pulled away from Dean as he blushed.  _ “Shut up, Assbutt.” _

“Oh you crazy kids. I take it you had a pleasant night?”

Cas hid his face in Dean’s shoulder.  _ “Always do when I’m with him.” _

Dean smirked at Gabe. “Oh, yeah. It was a great night.” He turned to Cas, “What do you want me to make for breakfast, Angel?”

Cas smirked a little. “You.”

Dean swatted Cas on the ass and turned to the fridge. “I was talking food. Starving man here.”

Cas snorted. “I told you we have bacon, eggs, and toast or you can make pancakes.”

Gabe huffed in annoyance. “Cassie? Why don't you talk to me?”

Cas glanced at Gabe then back at Dean’s ass. “Huh?”

Gabe followed Cas' line of sight and chuckled. “I see. It takes a tight ass to get you to use your voice, huh?”

Cas furrowed his brow and looked at Gabe. “ _ What are you talking about?” _

Gabe let out a full belly laugh. “Dean-o, are you seeing this? You he talks to. Me, all I get is sign. Unless, of course, he gets distracted looking at you.”

Cas rolled his eyes.  _ “You’re insane....” _ "Oh....sorry."

Dean set the bacon and eggs on the counter and slipped his arms around Cas' waist from behind. “Lay off, Gabe. Don't be a bag of dicks. Cas just ain't used to using his voice anymore. I think it's different around me because he's been whispering to me since he started tutoring me.” He kissed Cas' neck. “I kinda like that he saves his talking for me. Makes me feel special. Not that I don't want him to talk, it's just... I dunno... sweet.”

Cas smiled and leaned back into Dean. “You are special.”

“What am I? Chopped liver? I'm your loving brother!”

Cas smirked as he kissed Dean’s neck. “Mmhmmm.”

Mike walked into the kitchen with a look of shock on his face. “Castiel is talking again?”

“Well, to SOME of us.”

Cas rolled his eyes then smirked. “Good morning, Mike.”

Mike stared at Cas then wiped at his eyes. “Good morning.”

“Asshole.” Gabe huffed.

Cas snorted. “Me?”

Gabe smiled at finally being talked to and pulled Cas into a tight hug. “Yes, you, you little shit. I'm so glad you're healing, bro.”

Cas leaned against Gabe as he returned the hug. “If I’m a little shit, what does that make you?”

Mike laughed at his brothers. “He's an older, littler shit.”

“I don’t know. I think he’s a big shit.”

Dean smiled and shook his head as he worked on the food. He easily slipped into the familiar role of caretaker and started preparing breakfast for the whole Novak household. “Eggs, bacon and pancakes good for everyone?”

“Good for me, Honeybee.”

Mike glanced over at Dean. “You don’t have to do that.” He walked over to where Dean was and gently squeezed his shoulder. “Thank you.”

Dean looked at Mike in confusion. “For what? It's just breakfast.”

Mike nodded toward Cas, who was giving Gabe a noogie. “For him.”

Dean smiled and blushed. “Oh, that? It's easy to love him.”

Mike sighed as he watched his younger brothers play fight. “It is, but our love wasn’t enough to bring him back. He needed you.”

Dean turned back to the pancake batter and shrugged. “I needed him too. I was missing this huge piece in my life and I didn't even know it before I met Cas.”

Gabe scrambled to get away from Cas and darted for the living room with Cas hot on his heels. “Did you know he flat out refused to speak? I took him to specialists and they said that while there would be some pain when trying to talk that it wouldn’t be enough to keep him from doing so. They said the longer he was silent the more it’d hurt when he tried. He wasn’t even trying. Not until he met you.”

“I hate that he had to go through what he did, but I'm actually kinda thankful. I don't know if we would have even noticed each other if he hadn't.”

Mike laughed a little. “You think? I’m pretty sure he noticed you the first day he saw you. I remember him coming home with a smile and Gabe, being Gabe, asked what’s his name and Cas signed Dean before he realized what he’d done and tried to say you were nobody. We weren’t stupid though.”

Dean glanced at the doorway Gabe and Cas had gone through with a look of awe. “I, uh, huh.” 'Maybe I should thank John.' He could hear Gabe begging Cas to stop whatever he was doing to him and Dean smiled. “It's good to see him happy.”

Mike smiled. “It really is. It’s been a long time since he’s really been happy. I don’t just mean since the attack or our parents’ deaths. I mean years. This Cas we’re seeing right now? I thought he was lost.” Mike sighed and glanced at Dean. “Please don’t ever hurt him. I know you’ve had your ups and downs and I know there’ll be more to come, but please don’t ever break his heart.”

Dean studied Mike carefully. He could see just how serious Mike was being. “Mike, I'm an older brother too. I've taken care of Sam since our mom died and John lost himself in the bottle. I know what I'd do to anyone that hurt Sammy and I'm sure you're the same. I have no intention of ever hurting my Angel. I'll be here for as long as he'll have me.”

Mike sighed. “I just... I say that because I don’t know you that well and I don’t know how committed you are to the relationship or how long you’ve truly been a part of it. Cas? His head was already in it back around Homecoming. I’d never seen him so disappointed to not get asked to a dance. He played it off as he wasn’t because you were just friends, but he was upset. And Halloween? I wanted to murder you. He doesn’t know it, but I heard him practicing saying your name before the dance, then he walked in the door crying and locked himself in his room. I’m assuming he was, once again, more involved in the relationship than you were and got let down.”

Dean wiped the tears from his eyes. “I know. I was in complete denial when homecoming came around. I still had John's voice so strong in my head that I couldn't admit that I was falling for Cas... a guy.” Dean sighed and dropped his head in shame. “Halloween was completely my fault. I was too busy being "Dean Winchester, all-star pitcher" to notice I wasn't being a good boyfriend. I nearly lost the best thing to ever happen to me because I was trying to be popular. Trust me, Mike, I've gotten my head outta my ass.”

Mike looked Dean over then squeezed his shoulder. “Good. I’d hate to have to hide your body.” Mike said with a small smile. “If there’s ever anything you need, I mean anything, come talk to me. I don’t care if it’s for you, or for Cas, or for your brother, I’ll be here to help you as long as you treat him right.”

Dean started plating up up the food, while Mike brewed a fresh pot of coffee and got the butter and syrup from the fridge. “Thanks, Mike. I'll keep that in mind. Do you want to get them or should I?”

“You go ahead. I’m sure you’ll want to steal a few kisses before you get back in here.”

“Uncle! Uncle! Mike!” Gabe yelled as Cas tortured him in the other room. 

Cas bust out laughing as he fell over on the couch. Dean was stealing a piece of bacon when he heard Cas laughing. He ran to the living room, excited to hear more of that intoxicating laugh.

“Get in here, Gabe. The foods ready.” Gabe pouted and shoved Cas, making him laugh harder, then went into the kitchen.

Cas smiled at Dean as he gasped for air and wiped at his eyes. “Hey, Honeybee.”

“Angel.” Dean pulled Cas close “That is a wonderful sound.”

Cas coughed and rubbed at his throat. “Me gasping for air is a wonderful sound to you?”

Dean laughed and kissed Cas' throat. “No, Angel, your laugh. It's so pure.”

Cas laughed. “Pretty sure Gabe would say it was pure evil. I did give him a wedgie.”

Dean laughed, lifted Cas off his feet and spun them around. “I'm sure he deserved it.”

“He always does.” Cas eyed Dean playfully. “What’s got you so happy all of the sudden? I was afraid that Mike was in there describing exactly how he’d hide your body if you ever hurt me.”

Dean peppered kisses all over Cas' face and neck. “You. You make me happier than I've ever been. Yeah, Mike gave me the talk. He didn't need to, though. I'll never hurt you, Angel.” Cas' stomach rumbled, making both of them laugh. “Breakfast is ready. You're gonna need your strength for what I've got planned.”

Cas kissed Dean deeply, pushing his tongue into Dean’s mouth as he tangled his fingers in his hair. He smacked Dean’s ass fairly hard with the other hand. “Mmm, bacon-y.” Cas said as he pulled away.

Dean rubbed his ass as he chuckled. “Yeah. I was trying to sneak bacon when I heard you. Let's go eat before it's completely cold or Gabe eats it all out of spite.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him into the kitchen, then sat in his chair. “It all looks so good, Dean.”

Gabe spoke up, with a mouth full of pancakes. “Tastes even better.” Gabe swallowed. “Keep a tight hold on him, or I might have to steal him away.”

Cas pulled Dean into his lap as he eyed Gabe. “Not sure you could satisfy his needs.”

Dean handed Cas a piece of bacon and bit into his own piece. “Not a chance, Gabe. Cas is the only person for me.”

Cas started to bite into the bacon then glanced at Dean. “You’re the only one for me, too.”

Gabe rolled his eyes and mock whispered to Mike. “Don't need any syrup for the pancakes with as sickly-sweet these two are.”

Mike laughed as Cas rolled his eyes and tried to control his emotions from hearing Dean say that. He took a bite of his bacon as he flipped Gabe off. Dean piled food on a plate for the two of them. He leaned in to whisper to Cas. 'Can we take the food to your room? I have an idea for the syrup.'

Cas choked on the bacon he was swallowing. “Yeah.” Dean stood up, grabbed the plate and the syrup.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Gabe asked.

Dean smiled and winked at Gabe. “You said you didn't need the syrup.” Dean and Cas laughed and raced up the stairs to Cas' bedroom.

Cas closed and locked the door behind them then turned to Dean as he chewed on his lower lip. “What’d you have in mind?”

Dean held up the bottle and grinned. “Let's get sticky. Angel, I want to lick this off your cock.”

Cas’ breathing hitched and he swallowed hard. “Ok.”

Dean set the plate and syrup on the desk and turned to look at Cas. “I'm guessing you like that idea, Angel.”

Cas watched Dean. “Yeah. I like it a lot.”

Dean moaned softly. “Show me, Angel. How much do you want it?”

Cas felt his knees go weak. He swallowed hard and hurried over to Dean, pushing him back against the desk. He grabbed Dean’s hand and placed it on his straining erection as he kissed and nipped at Dean’s neck. “Does that tell you anything?”

Dean tangled his hand in Cas' hair, tilting his head back to give him better access to his neck, as he stroked Cas' cock through his pants. “Fuck, Cas. I love it when you do that to my neck.”

Cas gave Dean’s neck even more attention. He nipped, and licked, and kissed his way from one side to the other, ending on the pulse point where he sucked until Dean had a nice hickey. Once Cas was happy with the mark he’d left he fell to his knees and undid Dean’s pants. He pushed them down and took Dean’s cock in his hand, then licked a stripe from his balls to the tip before taking him deep in his throat.

Dean was thankful that he was leaning against the desk because his knees buckled when Cas swallowed around the head of his cock. “Oh, God... fuck... yeah, just like that, Angel.”

Cas hummed and swallowed again, then slowly pulled back until the head of Dean’s cock rested on his lips. He looked up at Dean through his lashes, then took his length back into his throat as his hands kneaded Dean’s ass and a finger found its way to his hole. Dean threaded his fingers through Cas' hair, just putting gentle pressure on his head. He moaned and tried to relax as the finger teased his hole.

Cas kept his nose pressed against Dean’s skin. He swallowed and moved his tongue around as his finger circled and pressed against Dean’s hole. He reached for a drawer with his other hand then reached up and patted Dean’s chest to get his attention.  _ “Lube.” _

Dean fumbled around in the drawer, pausing every few seconds whenever Cas sucked him back down, until he found a bottle of lube and handed it to Cas. “That's so good. Don't stop.”

Cas pulled back, taking a few deep breaths of air. He flicked his tongue over the head of Dean’s cock then tongued at the slit as he put lube on his fingers. He pressed his finger against Dean’s hole and pushed it in as he took Dean back into his throat. Dean moaned loudly. He didn't know whether to thrust forward into Cas' throat or back onto his finger. “Cas... Angel... yes... more, please, please…”

Cas swallowed and moved his tongue around as he slowly moved his finger in and out of Dean, then added a second. He grabbed Dean’s wrist with his other hand, making him move the hand tangled tightly in his hair so it’d make his head move, then let go as he pressed his fingers against Dean’s spot. Dean gripped Cas' hair tighter and tugged his head up and down. “So close, Angel.”

Cas moved his tongue around as he allowed Dean to fuck his throat. He thrust his fingers deep into Dean, adding a third and focusing on his prostate as his free hand ran up Dean’s body, under his shirt, and tweaked his nipple. Dean held Cas' head still as he grunted and came down his throat, his ass clenching around the fingers still thrusting there.

Cas sucked and swallowed as he pinched and tweaked Dean’s nipple. He thrust his fingers harder against Dean’s prostate. As Cas continued his assault on Dean's spot, Dean got more and more sensitive to the touch. He tugged Cas' head back. “Stop, Angel. It's too much.”

Cas pulled his fingers from Dean as he licked his lips. ‘I told you...’ Cas cleared his throat and coughed as he rubbed his throat. “I told you I wanted you for breakfast.”

Dean helped Cas to stand and carefully kissed his neck. “Did I hurt you? You felt so good around my dick, I kinda lost control. I'm sorry, Angel.” He snagged a slice of bacon from the plate behind him and munched on it as he half carried Cas to the bed. 

“Now, I really need to bring my blood-sugar back up.” Dean quickly snatched the syrup from the desk before climbing into the bed with Cas.

Cas smiled softly. “You did exactly what I wanted you to do. It’s a little sore, but I did just have your rather large dick in my throat, so that’s to be expected.” Cas frowned playfully. “I don’t get any?”

Dean chuckled, got up and brought the plate with him back to the bed. “I'm sorry, princess. I thought you'd be full. You did just have a "rather large" serving of my meat.” Dean teased, then fed Cas a bite of pancake, dripping in syrup.

Cas swallowed the bite and looked at Dean. “...Princess?”

“Aww, I'm only teasing. You know you're my handsome prince, saved me from sleep-walking through life with that first kiss.” Dean kissed Cas softly.

Cas slowly pulled back from the kiss. “Dean, I’m not... please don’t call me that.”

Dean realized his mistake and immediately felt guilty. “Angel, no. I'm so sorry. Fuck. Why does my mouth start going before my brain kicks in?” Dean stood and started pacing and ran his hand through his hair. “Castiel, I have no doubt in my mind that you are fully male. I want you just the way you are. I have no desire to pretend that you are or make you pretend to be female. I love you. I love your muscular chest and your big, beautiful cock.”

Cas chewed on his lip and got off the bed. He walked over to Dean, pulling him close to stop his pacing. “I know.”

Dean scrubbed his hand down his face. He searched Cas' eyes, seeking forgiveness. “Can you forgive me for being a boneheaded buffoon?”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You didn’t mean it. It’s ok. Come on. It’s time for your breakfast.”

Dean smiled a shaky smile and wiped away the tear that was threatening to fall. He nodded at Cas and kissed him slowly, walking him backwards to the bed. They broke apart long enough to pull Cas' shirt over his head. Cas gently wiped at Dean’s cheeks then brought his lips back to Dean’s. Dean laid them down on the bed and kissed and licked his way down Cas' chest, toward his goal.

Cas tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair as his breathing increased. “Fuck... Dean…”

Dean kissed and nibbled at Cas' hipbones as he tugged his cartoon bee-covered pajama bottoms off and stroked Cas' cock. Cas gasped and tightened his hold on Dean’s hair when he felt his teeth on his skin. “Oh, God.”

Dean moaned at the tightening of the fingers in his hair. He grazed his teeth along Cas' skin, then sucked a dark bruise into his flesh. “Mine.” He growled. He reached for the syrup. “Ready to get sticky, Angel?”

Cas moaned and chewed on his lip as he nodded. “All yours. Only yours.”

Dean drizzled the maple syrup on Cas' hard prick and down his balls, coating them in the sticky sweetness. “Hold still, Angel.” Dean set the bottle on the floor so it wouldn't spill. “So gorgeous, my tasty treat.”

Cas gasped as he felt the syrup slowly running down his cock and into his crack. Dean slowly licked the syrup from Cas' balls, following the trail of sweetness between his cheeks. He lifted Cas' legs and rested them on his shoulders so he’d have better access to his hole. Dean licked at Cas' hole, thrusting his tongue in as deep as he could. Cas clutched the sheets and threw his head back as he cried out.

Dean grabbed the lube from under the pillow, spread some on his fingers and used them to replace his tongue. Cas moaned and rocked back against Dean’s fingers. Dean slid his fingers in and out slowly, chuckling at the whimper he heard from above. “Easy, Angel. It's a marathon, not a sprint.” Once Cas calmed down, Dean licked his way up the shaft of Cas' cock and crooked his fingers to press on his prostate.

“Fuck…” Cas gasped as his hips bucked.

Dean continued to lick and nibble gently all around the shaft and head until he was satisfied the had cleaned up every trace of syrup. He looked up at Cas through heavy-lidded eyes. “You look so fucking hot.”

Cas swallowed hard. “Then fuck me.”

Dean shook his head. “Patience is a virtue, Angel.” He slid a third finger in at the same time he sucked Cas' cock into his mouth.

Cas groaned as his head fell back on the bed. “Don’t tell me to have patience when you’ve got your fingers hitting my prostate.”

Dean laughed with Cas' dick still in his mouth, the vibrations causing Cas to grab Dean's head and push him down a little deeper. Cas moaned. “Fuck.... like that…”

Dean panicked slightly as his breathing was briefly cut off. He pulled back, got a breath and sunk back down. He moaned at the sensation of taking Cas deeper than he had before. Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair as he moaned. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to do that.”

Dean pulled off with a pop and smiled at Cas. “Don't be. I wanted to take you deeper, but I was afraid of choking. You just nudged me out of my comfort zone. It feels weird, but good to have you in my throat. To know that, if you wanted, you could hold my head down and control my breathing…” Dean moaned “Fuck, that's incredibly hot.” He took Cas back in his mouth and into his throat.

Cas moaned and resisted thrusting into Dean’s mouth as he played with his hair. “You weren’t ready though. Fuck.”

Dean took Cas all the way to the root, swallowed and moaned. He tried to show Cas that everything was wonderful without using words. Dean thrust his fingers deeper and faster, brushing over his prostate on every stroke.

Cas tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair, holding him in place as his hips bucked into his mouth. Dean moaned again and let Cas fuck his throat as much as he wanted. Cas pulled Dean from his cock when he could tell he needed air. “Was that ok?”

Dean smiled a wide smile and nodded. “It was fucking perfect, Angel.” He stood and quickly stripped out of his clothes, slicked his rock hard cock with lube and pushed into Cas' eager hole. Dean slid his arms under Cas and pulled their chests together and kissed him roughly.

Cas moaned and eagerly returned the kiss as he tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair and scratched his back. Dean tugged one of Cas' legs up around his hip, changing the angle, and fucked into him harder and faster. He buried his face in Cas' neck, sucking bruises wherever he could reach.

Cas cried out and tilted his head to give Dean better access. His fingers tightened in Dean’s hair as his nails clawed at his back. He rocked his hips, meeting each of Dean’s thrusts. Dean panted. “Close. I'm gonna... Please tell me you're close. *grunt* Wanna cum with you, Angel.”

Cas nodded as he rocked his hips harder and dug his nails in deeper. “Dean!” Cas cried out as his orgasm tore through him.

“Cas!” Dean came hard, losing the rhythm of his thrusts, but he kept going as his orgasm continued to send shocks through his body. 'Angel'

Cas tightened his leg around Dean, forcing him to stay deep inside him as he yanked Dean’s head down by his hair and kissed him hungrily.

Dean kissed and caressed Cas everywhere he could reach. He whispered praises meant for only Cas to hear. He stayed buried deep inside Cas until his dick softened and he slipped out. They continued to kiss and touch until long after the sweat on their bodies cooled and dried. Cas wiped at his eyes. ‘Thank you.’

Dean kissed his eyelids, then his fingers, finally placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 'I love you, Angel. Always.'

Cas sniffled and wiped at his eyes more. ‘I love y-‘ He swallowed hard when a lump formed in his throat, then buried his face in Dean’s neck as the tears flowed freely.

Dean rolled them onto their sides, keeping Cas cuddled close to his chest. 'Sshhhh, Angel. It's ok. I've got you. I'm here.'

Cas cried into Dean’s shoulder as he dug his fingers into his back. Dean started to worry that he had done something wrong and hurt Cas. “Talk to me, Cas. What's wrong? Why are you crying, Angel?”

Cas shook his head as he took deep, shaky breaths and wiped at his eyes. “You don’t know how long I’ve been needing that.”

“We just had sex last night. Angel, I'm confused.” Dean said as he continued to hold and soothe Cas.

Cas wiped at his eyes and huffed a laugh. “Not like that. I mean, yeah, you were rough at the end, but not like you just were. I wasn’t even sure if you liked it last night. I wasn’t sure you’d do it again, but you just…” Cas let out a little sob and wiped at his eyes.

Dean peppered kisses all over Cas' face. When his breathing evened out, Dean sighed and tucked Cas' head into his chest and brushed his fingers through the dark tangles. “I love you, Angel. I wasn't sure how you wanted it this morning, until you helped me deep-throat you. That was fantastic, by the way. I won't fuck you like that all the time. It's great every now and then, but sometimes I just want to make love to you, slow and sweet.”

Cas nodded against Dean’s chest. “Sometimes I’ll need it like that. I’ll try to let you know when I do. I just... right now I feel so amazing. Like... I dunno. I was all wound up because I needed that and you just released it all.”

Dean kissed the top of Cas' head. “I feel awesome too, Angel. I'll try to let you know what I need too. If I can't give you something, I'll let you know and I'll try to give you a reason why. Sometimes I don't know why though.”

Cas lifted his head enough to look at Dean. “No. I... I don’t even know how to describe what I’m feeling. I always feel amazing after having sex with you, but there’s always this need for more. Like an itch that just wasn’t getting scratched. I’ve been feeling that itch for a few years. Balth never came close to scratching it. Sex with you came close, but it was always still there. Right now though...I’m not feeling like we need to do more. I’m happy just laying in your arms. You finally scratched that itch for me.”

Dean cuddled closer, as if that were even possible, and relaxed in Cas' arms. “Glad I could be of service. What time is it, Angel? I only got like two pieces of bacon and a lot of syrupy goodness. Think it's lunchtime yet?” To emphasize his point, Dean's stomach chose that moment to growl, loudly.

Cas snorted and grabbed a piece of bacon from the plate and held it to Dean’s mouth. “We still have breakfast up here, but if you’re ready for lunch we’ll have to get dressed.”

Dean let Cas feed him the bacon. It was cold, but still bacon. He munched happily for a moment and swallowed. “Clothes are overrated. Would your brothers be offended if we went to the kitchen in just our boxers long enough to make a sandwich and maybe some of that pie? I hope Gabe left some.”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I walk around in my boxers all the time. I think you just want to show off all the hickeys you left on me.”

Dean laughed and smacked Cas on the ass. “They are lovely and I'm actually kinda proud of a few of them. Especially this one here.” He pressed his fingers to the mark on Cas' hip.

Cas looked down at it and put his fingers beside Dean’s.” I like that one, too.” He looked back up at Dean. “You can mark me anytime and anywhere.”

Dean smiled and blushed. “I like having you mark me too. It shows everyone that I'm yours.”

Cas pushed Dean into his back and straddled him, kissing his neck. “You can have me anytime and anywhere.” Dean's stomach grumbled again, making both of them laugh.

Cas sucked a mark above Dean’s nipple then pulled back with a smirk before getting off of Dean and the bed. “Now we can get food.” Cas said as he walked into the bathroom and got a rag and wiped the dried cum from his stomach.

Dean looked down at the fresh hickey and prodded it with his fingers. He grinned at the feeling. Dean followed Cas to the bathroom and snagged the rag from his hands. He wiped the dried cum from his dick, then manhandled Cas up against the counter. “Hold still, Angel.” Dean crouched down behind Cas, spread his cheeks and gently cleaned the dried cum and lube. Then he leaned in and nipped the plump cheek lightly. “OK, now we can go.”

Cas squeaked in surprise then laughed. “Not without boxers. I’m serious when I say Gabe doesn’t need to see your bare ass.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike’s a douche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re sorry guys. Aren’t we charmin365?
> 
> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

Dean and Cas sat at the kitchen table in their boxers, laughing and eating their sandwiches and pie, when Gabe walks in looking at his cell. “Dean-o, what's an "idjit" and why is your boss texting me to have you get your "horny butt" back to the shop to work on the 'Stang? Don't you have your own cell phone?”

Cas stopped eating and glanced at Dean. “...Do you really have to go back to work?”

Dean shrugged and took another bite of his pie. “I should. I don't really want to. You want to come with me? Rufus' car really needs the work done, but once I get her finished, she'll be awesome.”

Cas glanced from the napkin he’d started shredding to Dean. “Bobby won’t get mad if I’m there?”

Dean grabbed Cas' hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it softly. “Doubt it. He might grumble about it, but that's nothing new. Old man complains about everything. He'll just have to accept that we're a package deal now.”

Gabe threw his hands in the air and huffs. “What the hell is an idjit?”

Cas smiled softly and brushed his fingers over Dean’s lips. “Haven’t we been a package deal for a while?”

Mike walked into the kitchen, newspaper in hand, and smacked Gabe on the back of the head. “You are. Seriously, Gabriel, you've lived here for four years and you've never picked up on the local slang? Idjit means idiot. Now, text Bobby back and tell him that Dean AND Castiel will be on their way when they finish their lunch.”

Dean grinned at Cas. “Yeah, Angel, we've been a package deal for a while. Bobby just needs to accept it. He will once you start hanging out at the shop with me more often. We can even work on homework while I work, if you want, now that you can talk louder.”

Cas dragged his thumb across Dean’s lower lip then dragged it down his chin and down his throat to the hickey on his chest and pressed on it. “Work on homework or watch your ass while you’re bent over working on an engine. Hmmm. Not sure which one I’d rather do.”

Dean leaned into the touch. “Can't we do both?”

Mike sighed as he grabbed his mug of coffee. “Chop chop kids. Finish up, get dressed and get to the shop. Bobby doesn't seem like a patient man.”

Cas leaned closer to Dean and nipped at his lips. “I don’t know. Your ass is very distracting. I might answer a question with god I’d love to fuck that ass right now.”

“A-plus, Angel. That is always the right answer.”

Cas snorted. “Not sure my teachers would agree.”

Dean mock-frowned. “Stupid, boring, spoil-sport teachers.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Finish your food, Honeybee. You need your calories.”

Dean nodded and devoured the rest of his pie and half of Cas' sandwich. They headed upstairs to get dressed and heard Mike call after them. “You have five minutes and then I'm coming in with my flogger. You know I mean it Castiel. Get dressed and get Dean to work.”

Cas frowned. “Yes, sir.”

When they got to Cas' room, Dean pulled Cas in for a kiss. “Honeybee, we can't. Mike is serious. We have five minutes.” He started pulling clothes out of the dresser and tossing some to Dean. “Remember how my brothers don't care that I spend a lot of money on toys? Mike is a Dom. When he gives an order, he expects it to be followed.”

“Yeah, I know he’s a Dom, but seriously? He’d use a flogger on you?”

Cas rubbed his ass and looked away from Dean. “The last time he did he left welts.”

“Fuck. What did you do to make him do that to you?” Dean hurried to get his clothes on, not for himself, but for Cas' piece of mind.

Cas got dressed as he watched the clock. “Does it matter? I disobeyed an order and I paid the price.” Cas glanced at the clock as he quickly tied his shoes. “Dean, shoes. Please. We’re at four minutes.”

Dean slid his feet into his shoes, not bothering to tie them. He grabbed his dirty clothes from the day before and headed for the door. “I'm ready, Angel. It'll be fine.” He turned the knob and opened the door to see Mike coming up the stairs. Cas grabbed his backpack and they walked into the hallway with a few seconds to spare.

“Good boys. Have fun at work.”

Cas held the strap of his backpack tighter. “Yes, sir.” Cas glanced at Dean, then hurried past Mike and down the stairs.

Mike stopped Dean on the stairs. “Cas, go wait in the car. I need a quick word with Dean.” Cas nodded and hurried out of the house. “Dean, I know you said you'd never do anything to hurt my brother. I believe you. I need you to believe me when I tell you that I won't hurt him either.”

“He said you left welts on his ass.”

Mike hung his head. “I've... made mistakes. It's difficult for me to admit that. After our parents died, Castiel was lost, understandably. I reverted to what I knew to care for him. I treated him like a sub. Not sexually, but orders and punishment. After I flogged him too hard and Gabriel had to treat his wounds, I realized the error of my ways.”

“It worked though. Since then, on the rare occasion I give him an order, he obeys. The flogger is a threat, but I will never use it on him again. Ever.”

“I needed you to know that. I'm not a bad person. I love my brother and I think you are the best thing to ever happen to him. Don't let him push you away when his depression and anxiety start to overtake him. If you need ANYTHING, come to me or Gabe. Hell, even Lucifer. We all want the best for him. Now, run along. Bobby's waiting.”

Cas sat in the car, fidgeting while he waited for Dean. He glanced at Dean when he got in then looked down at his hands. “What’d he have to say? He tell you the best ways to keep me in line so you don’t have to deal with me disobeying?”

Dean lifted Cas' chin to look in his eyes. “Angel, no. He told me about the welts and how he made mistakes with you. He didn't say it, but I think he was scared to have to act as a parent to you. He feels bad about treating you like one of his subs, but he loves you and he doesn't want to lose you. I agree with him on that. I love you and I don't want to lose you. I have to ask you though, if you could, would you want to move out of his house?”

Cas looked away and wiped his eyes. “He won’t let me. You need to drive, Dean. He’ll be timing us and he’ll have Gabe check in with Bobby to make sure we made good time.”

Dean started the car and drove to Bobby's a little faster than normal because he could see Cas' anxiety rising. As he drove, Dean decided that he would talk to Mike about the possibility of Cas moving in with him. He knew he'd have to make a good case for himself and get Bobby and possibly Jody to back him up, but he knew that wouldn't be a problem. “You know, you didn't actually answer my question. If you COULD, would you WANT to move out of your brothers' house, Angel?”

Cas sighed sadly. “Haven’t I already?”

Dean smiled. “Yeah, but not officially. School still has your home listed as Mike's. Your emergency contact is Gabe. I'm not saying we cut your brothers out of your life, just, I dunno, make my house into  _ our _ house.”

Cas glanced out the window. ‘I thought it already was.’

Dean nodded and squeezed Cas' hand. “Yeah, it is. I just want something legal that says you don't have to go back to Mike's if you don't want. I have my emancipated minor paperwork. Jody said that, even though I turn 18 in January, without the papers, I could be forced into freaking foster care until I graduate in May because I'm still in high school. I don't want someone doing that to you. I don't want anyone to try and take you away from me.” He pulled into the parking lot of the shop and parked Baby. “You're mine, Angel. I ain't giving you up without a fight.”

Cas wiped at his eyes. “I didn’t want you to know. I don’t know why he had to say anything in front of you. He knows I didn’t want you to know.” Cas put his face in his hands and cried.

Dean pulled Cas into a tight hug. “You don't have to hide anything from me, Angel. Shhh. Listen, John beaten me so badly that I have been put in the hospital five separate times in as many years. He gets extremely drunk on the anniversary of Mom's death. He blames me because they had driven to Lebanon for my baseball game. Sammy stayed with Bobby and I rode the bus with the team. Dad had too much to drink and ran a red light. They got t-boned and she died. I don't like people knowing that he keeps doing that, but I don't want to keep any secrets from you. Don't be ashamed about what Mike did. It's not your fault and, if I get my way, it will never happen again. So, dry your eyes and let's go pester Bobby.”

Bobby walked out of the garage, wiping his hands on a greasy rag. “About damn time you idjits climb outta bed and get over here.”

Dean walked around Baby and opened the door for Cas. “Hush, old man. Just cause you ain't getting any, don't mean you gotta hate on those of us that are!”

Cas quickly wiped at his eyes and did his best to stop crying so he wouldn’t anger Dean. He got out of the car and slung his backpack over his shoulder and waited.

Dean noticed how tense Cas had become since Mike gave his order. 'Fucking Mike' He pressed a kiss to Cas' cheek. “Angel, wanna go get us a couple of sodas from the fridge in the house? I need to see what kind of mess Bobby has made that I need to clean up. Meet me out in the garage, OK?”

Cas glanced at Dean then back down and nodded, then headed for the house.

Bobby watched Cas move almost on autopilot to follow Dean's instructions. Once Cas was inside the house, Bobby turned to Dean. “OK, that was weird. What's going on with him?” 

Dean headed into the garage, not waiting to see if Bobby followed. “Fucking Mike. It's a long story that I can explain later, but can you call Jody to see about getting something legal that makes it so Cas can't be forced to live at his brother's house? He practically lives with me anyway, I just want something legal. I know Mike won't fight me on it, but it will make Cas feel better.”

Bobby searched Dean's eyes, looking to see if his request was being driven by hormones or a desire to protect the man he loves. “Sure thing. I'll go call her now. You, get to work on that transmission.”

Cas looked through the fridge until he found Dean’s favorite soda and grabbed it and a drink for himself. He walked back to the garage and bit his lip as he stopped in the doorway. He weighed his options of how Dean would want him. Cas sighed and walked into the garage, kneeling behind Dean, who was already working, and holding up the two sodas.

Dean turned around and almost tripped over Cas, not expecting him to be kneeling behind him. “Shit! Cas, what the hell? The floor is filthy. There's a chair in the corner you can bring over to sit on.” He helped Cas stand up and wiped some of the dirt off his knees.

Cas flinched. ‘I’m sorry.’ He put the drinks down and quickly got the chair and brought it over, then sat down.

Dean sighed and wiped the tears that he couldn't help shed. He needed to call Gabe. Mike might be the expert on a Dom/sub relationship, but Gabe was the expert on Cas. “Angel, no, I'm sorry. I'm not giving you orders. It hurts to see you afraid of me. I'm not like Mike. I'm not a Dom. I.. damnit... Fucking Mike!”

“I'll be right back, Angel. We'll figure this out.” Dean kissed Cas on the top of his head and ruffled his hair. He walked out to Baby and got his cell from the pocket of yesterday's jeans and called Gabe.

Gabe answered the phone. “You guys get to Bobby's ok?”

“Fucking Mike!”

“God damnit! How bad is Cassie?”

Dean scrubbed his hand down his face. “Bad. He's afraid of me now. He takes everything I say as an order. He fucking kneeled behind me on the garage floor in suplication. I hate it. I want my cocky, smartass Angel back, but I don't know what to do. Help?”

Gabe sighed. “Typically he’s like that until Mike leaves or he leaves and goes to your place. Maybe the bullshit stuck with him because getting you to work was part of the order? What happened after you left? When did he start assuming you were giving him orders?”

Dean thought over what happened during the ride over. “I asked him if, given the chance, would he want to move out of your house. He told me Mike wouldn't let him. Then, damn, I told him he didn't actually answer me, so when he said he thought he already had, I dismissed him, saying it wasn't official. I told him I wouldn't let anyone take him away from me without a fight, like he's my property or some shit. He told me he never wanted me to find out about what Mike did to him. I'm sure he blames himself. I told him about my dad abusing me after he caused my mom's death. Then, fuck, I told him to dry his eyes right before we got out of the car. I've always let him cry until he was done, held him until he felt better. I wasn't trying to order him around, I just didn't want him to have to explain anything to Bobby. What do I do, Gabe? Did I break him?”

Gabe hummed. “And when did he start acting submissive to you?”

“I asked him to go get a couple of sodas from the house and meet me in the garage. I went out to talk to Bobby. When he came out, he kneeled behind me and held up the sodas. I damn near tripped over him. I got angry, but I was angry with Mike. I'm sure Cas thought I was angry with him. He's back to whispering and he keeps avoiding looking me in the eye.”

“And this was after telling him to stop crying?”

Dean sighed in defeat. “Yeah. He didn't even acknowledge Bobby after I told him to dry his eyes.”

“Dean, I’m sure you already know by now just how emotional Cassie can be. You were trying to shield him from having to explain this whole mess, but to him, he was given an order to not have those emotions. I’m willing to bet that if you go back to him right now you’ll find him trying to not cry. Let him. Hold him and comfort him like you would if you were at home. He needs you. He needs his boyfriend, the one that cares about him when he’s crying. And, Dean? For the record, I think he should live with you.”

Dean took a deep, calming breath and slowly let it out. “OK. I'll try. I gotta tell Bobby to give us some privacy. God, I hope this works. Thanks, Gabe. Oh, hey, I know from experience that it takes a long time to become an emancipated minor, so it's kind of pointless to do that for Cas, but is there some legal document that can be drawn up that states Cas can't be forced to go back to Mike's house? I want Cas to have proof that where he lives is HIS choice, no one else's.”

Gabe thought for a moment. “I’ll have Mike draw something up. He’d still have to be Cassie’s legal guardian, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he has to live with him. I mean, technically Mike would have to be ok with wherever he chose to live, but it’s not like he’s not already ok with Cas practically living with you.”

“If Mike wants to, he can talk to Bobby and Sheriff Mills. Obviously Bobby can confirm I have the financial resources to maintain the house, keep the lights and heat on and keep food in the house. Jody makes regular welfare checks for the county to ensure I'm not running a 24/7 party. I love him Gabe. God, Mike's gonna bury me in a shallow grave if I don't fix this. Wish me luck. I'll keep you updated. Bye, Gabriel.” Dean ended to call, stopped in the house to tell Bobby that they needed some privacy in the garage, but might come inside and go to his old room if they needed, then walked out to the garage to help bring his boyfriend back from the edge.

Cas sat in the chair sniffing and wiping his eyes. Dean walked in and crouched in front of Cas, forcing himself into Cas' line of sight. “Hey, Angel. How are you feeling?”

Cas immediately stopped sniffling and blinked back the tears. 'I’m fine.’

Dean gently caressed Cas' face and sighed. “I'm not.” He looked into Cas' eyes before he continued. “See, I've got this problem. I fucked up with my boyfriend. He was hurting and instead of helping him express his pain and work through it, I told him to hide it. I mean, I know that appearing weak in front of other people embarrasses him and I was trying to stave off that feeling, but by doing that, I didn't let him feel his other emotions. He shoved them away and is hiding them from me. I love every part of him. The way he smiles with his eyes when he teases me for tripping over my shoes in the morning, the way he grumbles about school starting too damned early until he's had his second cup of coffee. The way he stares intently at me when he doesn't understand my pop culture references. The way he folds himself into my arms when he's sad or hurting so I can hold him while he cries. Yeah, I think I miss that the most. It's only been about half an hour, but not having that hurts the most. So, yeah, that's how I feel. I want to fix my fuck up. Can you help me, Angel?” Dean wiped the tears that fell from his own eyes and looked to Cas, hoping he was doing this right.

Cas blinked back tears and swallowed hard. ‘I’m...I’m not fine. I...I don’t want to be a sub.’

Dean smiled softly and nodded. “Good. I don't want to be a Dom. Is there anything else? You don't have to hide anything from me, Angel.”

Cas wiped at his eyes. ‘Then why’d you give me orders?’

Dean rubbed his hands lightly up and down Cas' thighs in an attempt to soothe his boyfriend. “Oh, Angel, I didn't think that I was. I didn't think. I was angry with Mike for what he did to you in the past. All I could think about was getting you out of that house and what I needed to do to make that happen. Then I saw Bobby and I didn't want you to be embarrassed in front of him. I was so busy trying to protect you from everyone else, that I didn't see that I was hurting you the most by not taking the time to hold you and let you deal with what you were feeling in the moment.”

Cas wiped at his eyes, but the tears fell too fast for him to keep up. “I want to live with you. I don’t want to live with Mike anymore.” Cas broke down and started crying.

Dean gathered Cas into his arms as he sat on the dirty garage floor. “That's it, Angel. Let it all out. We got all the time in the world. You're ok. I've got you.” Dean held and rocked Cas as he sobbed and sniffled and cried out his sadness for feeling weak and his frustration with being manipulated into submission by his brother and then transferring that feeling to Dean. As Cas finally started to calm down, Dean started humming, then softly singing to Cas. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.”

Dean kissed the top of Cas' head. “Whenever you're ready, we can go get your things from Mike's house and move you fully into our house. If you want to live with me still. Completely your choice, Angel.”

Cas sniffled and snuggled against Dean. “I just told you I do, but he’s not going to let me.”

Dean smoothed his hands over Cas' back. “I already talked to Gabe about it. He's gonna have Mike draw up a document that says, while he's still your legal guardian, you can choose where to live. The fact that Jody, being sheriff, already does checks on me for my health, safety and welfare, makes things easier. If he doesn't write that up, Jody has our backs. She'll find other ways to get you out of that house. I don't think Mike's gonna fight us on this. He's worried about losing you completely. The best way to keep you around and safe and happy is to let you be free to make your own decisions.”

Cas pulled away a little and looked at Dean. “You did all that, for me?”

Dean kissed him softly. “Yeah, well for us. I'll admit, I'm being a little selfish. I hate the nights we spend apart. The bed is so empty when you're not in my arms. I never hated being alone in the house before you came into my life. Now, when you're not there, it doesn't feel like home anymore. I..” Dean looked down and blushed. “I can't sleep without you there. I just sit up all night watching tv in the living room. I can't bear to even lay on the bed alone. It just about ripped my heart out whenever I would try, so I gave up if you're not at home with me.”

Cas turned Dean’s face and kissed him softly. “I can’t sleep without you, either.” Cas smiled softly then laid his head back on Dean’s shoulder. “You said Gabe is involved?”

“Yeah.”

“He’ll do it. Gabe will call Luke if he doesn’t and he knows it.”

Dean snickered. “Might have to bake Gabe a pie for this.” He shifted, trying to get a little more comfortable on the cold concrete. “Angel, can we go inside? My ass is getting numb. We can cuddle on the couch or lay down in my old room.”

Cas carefully got up then helped Dean up. “Your old room.”

Dean wrapped one arm around Cas' waist and walked across the yard up on the porch. As he opened the door, Bobby called out from the kitchen. “Go home. Not getting any work done today anyway. Do your homework, eat dinner, brush your damned teeth, don't tell me any details of anything else you two get up to. Come back tomorrow, ready to work. You too, Castiel. I got a job suitable for your brains. Go on, git. Idjits.”

Dean laughed and turned around. He called out over his shoulder. “Thanks ya old grump. See ya bright and early.”

Cas furrowed his brow and glanced at Dean. “I can’t fix cars.”

Dean laughed and gave Cas a squeeze. “Oh, Angel, I know for a fact that Bobby wouldn't let you near a car without making sure you knew exactly what you were doing. Most likely, he's gonna get you to try and figure out his filing system. That is a frightening mess. I've offered to help before, but he kicked me back to the garage when I asked for matches.”

Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m good at filing.”

Dean nodded. “That's half the battle right there. Bobby hates the paperwork side of the business. I'll bet that once you get the files straight, he'll have you start doing the books.”

“So he’s giving me a job?”

“Congratulations! Gotta love Bobby's hiring process. Honestly, I think he figures that if you're going to be here with me all the time anyway, it might as well be beneficial to everyone. He gets help with the paperwork, you get to make some money and me, well, I get to have my Angel close.”

Cas nodded against Dean’s shoulder. “Dean? Can you take me home now?”

Dean kissed Cas' temple. “Sure thing, Angel.” He opened the passenger door for Cas. “Hey, if you decide that you don't want to work here, that's ok. Bobby won't be offended and he won't kick you out. He's smart enough to know that if he says you can't be here, I won't be here. He wouldn't risk losing me, I'm the best mechanic he's got.”

“No. I think I’d like working near you.” Cas said as he got into the car.

Dean smiled wide and shut the door. As they drove to their home, he held Cas' hand. “I love you, Angel.”

Cas slid across the bench and curled into Dean’s side. “I love you, too.”

Dean glanced at Cas. “You look exhausted, Angel. Do you want to take a nap when we get home?”

Cas sighed. “I still don’t feel...right. I don’t care what we do. I just need to be near you.”

Dean thought for a few minutes. “Well, it's too early for dinner, so we could chill on the couch and watch a movie, then order some Chinese later? What do you think?”

Cas shrugged a little. “Ok.”

When they got home, Dean handed the remote to Cas. “Go ahead and find something you want to watch. I'm not picky. I'm gonna take a leak and get us some sweats to change into, OK, Angel?”

Cas looked at the remote then at Dean. “I just want to wear boxers.”

Dean nodded. “That's fine, Angel. Want me to turn the heat up a bit or do you want us to cuddle up under a blanket?”

Cas smiled a little. “Blanket.”

Dean smiled and kissed Cas softly. “That's an awesome plan. That's why you're the brains, Angel. Be right back.”

Cas sat on the couch and turned on the tv. He flipped through the channels until he found some program about bees.

Dean went and relieved himself, undressed and tossed his dirty clothes in the hamper. He went to his,  _ their _ bedroom, he reminded himself with a smile, put on a pair of boxers, picked a clean pair for Cas, and grabbed a fuzzy blanket from the bed. He walked back into the living room to find Cas staring in fascination at the bees on the tv. “Angel, I brought you a fresh pair of boxers, in case you want to change.” Cas kept staring at the tv, a small smile playing over his face. “Angel? Wow, I've been replaced by bugs.”

Cas glanced at Dean and the boxers in his hand. “They’re bees.” Cas said as he got up and stripped, then put on the clean boxers.

Dean smiled and shook his head. He sat on the couch, leaning against the arm, and left room for Cas, in case he wanted to settle between Dean's legs. “Bees, huh? I'm guessing you like the little stripey bastards.” He said as he playfully tried to provoke Cas.

Cas curled up in Dean’s lap with his face buried in the crook of his neck. “You already know I do.”

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas. “Yeah, I know, but I had to do something to get your attention. One kiss and I'll let you watch your show.”

Cas shifted slightly and kissed Dean as he ran his hand over his chest. Dean moaned and deepened the kiss. Cas licked into Dean’s mouth as his fingers grazed his nipple, then found the hickey and pressed on it. Dean slid his hands down and under the waistband of Cas' boxers, intent on squeezing his firm ass.

Cas tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair as their tongues danced together. He carefully shifted so he was straddling Dean’s lap without breaking the kiss. Dean pulled at Cas' hips, trying to gain a little friction on their groins. Cas sucked Dean’s tongue into his mouth as he shifted so their cocks lined up and rolled his hips into Dean. Dean thrust up against Cas' cock and whimpered at the hardness he felt.

Cas pulled back just enough to let them both breathe. “What’s wrong?”

Dean drew in a ragged breath and squeezed Cas' ass again. “You feel so good, Angel. I lied, I need more than one kiss. Please don't stop.”

Cas cocked an eyebrow as he ran his hand over Dean’s chest. “Who said anything about stopping?”

“I thought you wanted to watch your bee program.”

Cas kissed along Dean’s jawline. “I own it on DVD. The only bee I’m interested in right now is the one that’s under me.”

Dean chuckled as he nibbled and licked along Cas' neck. He nipped lightly and grinned when Cas tilted his head to give him better access. “Of course you already own it, my sweeter than honey Angel.” He nipped harder and sucked a new mark into the flesh.

Cas moaned and tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair as he rolled his hips against Dean’s hard cock. Dean reached one hand between them to stroke Cas' cock through the boxers. “Please touch me, Angel.”

Cas moaned as he slipped his hand between them. He pushed the waistband on Dean’s boxers under his balls, then took his cock in his hand and stroked him. Cas licked and sucked at Dean’s neck. “How do you want to do this?”

Dean's breath hitched. “Fuck. Cas, Angel, I'm about to cum just like this.” Dean shoved Cas' boxers down to grasp his cock. “You feel so fucking good, Angel.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s neck, then sucked on it as he stroked him. “Do you want to cum like this or do you want us to do something else?”

Dean tilted his head back and moaned. “This.. this, Angel. Are you close? Want to cum with you.” Dean whined. “Angel…”

Cas nipped at Dean’s Adam’s Apple then ran his tongue down his throat to his clavicle and sucked a hickey into his skin. He stroked Dean’s cock, running a nail up and down his length then lightly scratched at his frenulum before rubbing his thumb over the head of Dean’s cock. “Cum for me, Dean. I’m right there with you.”

Dean stroked Cas' cock faster. “Yeah, Fuck, Love you, Angel.” He thrust up into Cas' fist and stilled as he came, cum shooting up and hitting his chin.

Cas thrust into Dean’s hand a few times then groaned as came hard. He licked some of their cum from Dean’s chest and chin and held it on his tongue, then pushed it into Dean’s slightly parted lips. Dean moaned softly and sucked on Cas' tongue. He licked into Cas' mouth, chasing the flavor of them. Dean relaxed back into the couch, pulling Cas close. He continued to kiss Cas lazily and sighed in contentment.

Cas continued to kiss Dean as he gently milked his cock. He ran his thumbnail up the underside of Dean’s cock and scratched at the frenulum again. Cas smirked into the kiss when Dean shuddered and he felt a little more cum land on his hand. Dean copied Cas' actions and caused Cas to twitch and thrust into his hand. He danced his fingers up Cas' oversensitive side and smiled as Cas twitched as he giggled.

Cas groaned and kissed Dean’s jawline. “I love you.”

“Not as much as I love you, Angel.”

Cas gently ran the fingers of his clean hand through Dean’s hair as he searched his face. “Yeah. You must love me a lot to put up with all my shit. I’m so sorry you had to put up with what happened earlier.”

“You, Castiel James Novak, have nothing to feel sorry about. Mike should never have done that to you in the first place and then to send you spiraling... I mean, I know he didn't mean to do it, but, damn. I want to punch him square in the nose.” Dean kissed Cas again. “You, Angel, are easy to love.”

Cas smiled softly. “I’m normally ok after he’s given me an order. I come here and hang out while you're at work or I go for a drive, then come here and cuddle with you until I feel better.” Cas snuggled against Dean. “I normally get to clear my head. I didn’t get that this time.” Cas chewed on his lip. “What if it hadn’t been you? What if I’d run into someone like Raph and they’d given me an order and then hurt me?”

Dean combed his fingers through Cas' unruly hair and growled. “I'd hunt them down and they'd never find the body.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Once he was calmer he continued. “Sorry. The thought of Raph or someone like him even trying to hurt you gets me really pissed. I guess we'll have to figure out some additional techniques to get you out of that mindset quickly, in case you don't have the time to clear your head like usual.” He kissed Cas' forehead. “Maybe we can figure a code word or something to let me know you're starting to spiral.”

Cas leaned into Dean’s touch and sighed. “I think I’ll be ok as long as he doesn’t give me anymore orders and since I’ll be living here that shouldn’t be a problem. But, yeah, we should probably figure some stuff out.” Cas swallowed hard. “It... it wasn’t just Mike that’s done this. Balth figured out I’d listen to orders.”

Dean growled again. “And there's another nose to break.”

Cas huffed a laugh. “You say that like he wasn’t already on your list.”

Dean shrugged. “I'll let him heal before I break it again.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Babe, Honeybee, you can’t go after every single person that’s ever hurt me. I mean, are you going to go after Gabe because he knocked one of my baby teeth out when he kicked me while he was swinging?”

Dean pouted comically. “Maybe”

Cas shook his head. “I deserved it, by the way. I was standing there taunting him that he couldn’t get me. I was wrong.”

Dean sighed and tightened his hold on Cas. “I know. Violence isn't the answer. It makes me no better than them. Anyway, I'd have to break my own nose a couple of times for when I was an idiot and hurt you. I just can't help wanting... no, needing to protect you from the assholes in the world.”

Cas glanced at Dean. “And you think you were one of those assholes when you were just scared to admit how you felt about me?”

Dean shrugged and looked away. “I hurt you.”

Cas turned Dean’s face so he’d look at him. “And we got past it. Look at where we are now. We’ve got our dicks out and are covered in cum on  _ our _ couch in  _ our _ house. What if we needed those bumps to get to this point? What if them never happening meant we’d never make it to where we are?”

Dean swiped at the tear threatening to fall and smiled a small, shaky smile. “You're amazing, Angel. All that you've been through and you're still able to look on the bright side of things. I don't know how you do it.”

Cas kissed the corner of Dean’s mouth. “I didn’t, until I had you by my side.”

“Thank you for not giving up on me when I was an ass.”

“And thank you for not giving up on me because of all my issues...and thanks for, you know, deciding you wanted to stop acting straight.”

Dean grinned and shrugged. “Like I said, it is so easy and completely natural for me to love you. Being with you was, and will always be, the best decision of my life. Never letting you go, Angel.”

Cas snuggled closer to Dean with his head on his shoulder. “Good, because I never want you to let go.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas starts working at Bobby’s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

Dean walked into Bobby’s. “We come bearing donuts!”

“About damn time.” Bobby grumbled. Cas glanced at Dean nervously.

_ “Don't worry. He's always like that. We're actually early.” _

Bobby eyed the donut box. “Did you at least bring some of the good kind?” 

Cas nodded.  _ “I’m more worried about what I’ll be walking into. Is it really as bad as you said?” _

“Uhh.. I better get working on that Mustang.” Dean turned quickly and escaped to the garage.

Cas glared at his boyfriend as he escaped, then glanced at Bobby, who was happily eating a lemon filled donut. He just stood there awkwardly, waiting until Bobby finished his donut. Cas sighed and signed  _ "Chicken-shit" _ behind Dean's back.

Sam, who was sitting at the table giggled. He played it off that he was laughing at Dean. Dean turned and glanced at Sam then at Cas, who narrowed his eyes at him. He quickly turned back to the car and got back to work.

Bobby finished off his second donut then looked at Cas. “Well, why’re you still standing here?”

Cas rolled his eyes dramatically and pulled his pad from his pocket. _ I don’t know where to go or what to do. _

Bobby led Cas into the office and opened the closet. “My, uh, files, such as they are. I need you to figure out some way to organize them. Sam says I should go digital, but I don't trust those confounded machines.”

Cas looked at the chaos in shock for a moment then picked up his pad.  _ Digital is the way to go, but I can organize the hard copies for your peace of mind. _

Bobby nodded. “So, you're on his side, huh? Balls! I guess Sam and I need to go buy a damn computer.”

_ You don’t have a computer?  _ Cas paused for a moment to let that sink in.  _ If you had a fire and they weren’t digital, then you’d lose all your records. That could cause you to lose your business. You need a scanner and printer too.  _ Cas handed the note to Sam

Sam read the note and nodded. “I've actually done a lot of research on what to get. System requirements, business software and a print/scan/copy unit.” Cas smiled and gave Sam a thumbs up. “Dean, we're gonna get wi-fi!”

“About time!”

“Balls!”

Cas snorted.  _ So are you going to get computer stuff while I try to figure this mess out? Or are you going another day?  _ Cas showed the note to Bobby and Sam.

Bobby and Sam looked at each other guiltily.    
Cas shook his head and shooed them out of the office. He walked to the closet, sighed, grabbed a box and took it to the desk. He started digging through the box and rolled his eyes when he found candy wrappers. ‘What the fuck...’

Cas sighed as he slowly worked his way through a few boxes. He didn’t understand how Bobby was able to mix multiple years in each box, months, yeah, but each box should at least be a different year. He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his temples before checking the time on the clock. He’d only been at it for about an hour and he was already exhausted.

Dean walked in with a can of soda for Cas. “Hey, Angel. You ready to take a break?”

Cas glared at Dean. “Since it’s  _ our _ house now, does that mean I can make you sleep on the couch?”

Dean hung his head. “Is it really that bad? I mean, I was exaggerating, I thought.” He started rubbing Cas' shoulders to loosen the knots that were already forming.

Cas motioned to piles as he spoke. “This year, last year, two years ago, three years ago, a random receipt from ten years ago, scratch offs, and candy wrappers. And this is just two shoe boxes.”

Dean whistled. He glanced at the closet, where there were at least fifty more boxes. “I'm so sorry, Angel.” He leaned down and nibbled on Cas' ear. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?”

“Right now? No, unless you want to help go through boxes, but I’m assuming the penises on some of the receipts were drawn by you, so I’m not sure how much help you’d be.”

“Cas. I'm really sorry. Seriously. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Cas sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, then shrugged. “I don’t know. I think it’s just going to be a long, slow process. Just please tell me you never went through a phase where you drew female genitalia on things.”

Dean crinkled his nose in disgust. “Eww. Why would I do that? The dicks are on there because I was bored, Bobby was being a dick, so I drew dicks on the receipts and tossed them in the box for Bobby to find later. I guess he never found them.”

Cas shook his head. “You were lying to yourself for a while. You could have done something like that to seem like you were interested in them.”

Dean shook his head. “Nah, I never felt the need to do that here. School notebooks, sure, but here, all Bobby cares about is if I'm doing my job right. Trust me, if you find girl parts, it'll be Bobby's skin mags or Sammy's finally hit puberty.”

Cas gave Dean a horrified look. “Please tell me he wouldn’t keep any of those in here.”

Dean laughed. “I was kidding. I've never known him to bring them out of his bedroom. I don't think he trusted Crowley to actually get any work done if they were out here.”

“If I find any I’m demanding a raise.”

“If you find any, I'll supply the hand sanitizer and disinfectant.”

“...Oh my god.” Cas let his head drop into his hands.

“Angel?”

“That’s...that’s so disgusting. Can we please change the subject?”

Dean nodded. “So.... come here often?” Cas glared at Dean. “I'm kidding. Actually, can you give me a hand out in the garage? I need you to hold a light for me. There's no place to hang it and still have it shine where I need it.”

“Yeah. I guess I can help as long as Bobby doesn’t come back to you groping my ass.”

Dean pouted. “No ass groping? Damn, Cas, seriously tying my hands here. Fine, I promise I won't grope your ass until... lunch. Best I can do, Angel.”

“I didn’t say that. I said Bobby can’t come back to it.”

Dean smirked. “Such a naughty boy.”

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes. “Don’t get us fired.”

Dean pressed Cas up against the wall and nibbled along his jaw. “He wouldn't dare fire us. If he did, he'd have to do all this work himself. It's called job security, Angel.”

Cas swallowed hard and tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair. “Maybe he wouldn’t fire you.”

Dean moaned when Cas tugged on his hair. “Package deal, remember?”

Cas nodded a little. “Yeah.”

Dean sighed, pulled back and searched Cas' eyes. “Still worried?”

Cas chewed on his lip and shook his head. “No.” Cas yanked on Dean’s hair. “Why’d you stop?”

Dean swallowed hard. “If I don't stop now, I'm gonna lock that door and have you fuck me on Bobby's desk.”

“They went to get computer stuff. How long do you think that’ll take?”

Dean tried to clear his head long enough to remember how far they had to go and factor in Sam's excitement looking at all the new tech in the store. “You're a very bad influence on me, Angel. We should have about 45 minutes before we have to worry.”

Cas pushed Dean so he was sitting on the desk and got between his legs. “You’re the one that started it.” Cas glanced around Dean to the stacks on the desk. “We move the stacks, without ruining my work, and I’ll fuck you on the desk.”

Dean looked at the stacks nervously. “Angel, I'm afraid to touch anything. I don't want to mess anything up.”

Cas rolled his eyes and picked up each stack and carefully placed them on the floor, where they wouldn’t get disturbed. He glanced back at Dean. “Can’t take your own pants off?”

Dean smirked and grabbed Cas' hips. “More fun if you take 'em off me.”

Cas undid Dean’s pants and pushed them down. “That might be true, but we’re on a time constraint. If you want to get fucked, then we can’t take our time.”

Dean nodded and reached for Cas' belt and started to unbuckle it. “You're right, Angel. I can't wait.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “How do you want it? Do you want to be bent over like you are when you’re working on an engine? Or do you want to be on your back?”

Dean whimpered. “Bend me over, Angel.”

Cas grabbed Dean and flipped him around then pushed his chest to the desk. “Like this?” Cas asked as he finished undoing his pants and pushed them down.

Dean wiggled his ass at Cas as he looked over his shoulder at him. “Yes, please. Need you in me soon. Want you to make me feel it all day.”

Cas pulled out the lube and ripped the packet open with his teeth. He squeezed some onto his fingers and pushed one in, thrusting it in and out a few times before adding a second finger and scissoring them inside Dean. “So you want it rough?”

Dean pushed back onto Cas' fingers. “Yes. Rough. I want it rough and hard. Fuck me, Angel.”

Cas shuddered and moaned as he pushed a third finger into Dean and thrust them deep into him. He smacked his ass hard, then grabbed a handful of his plump ass tightly. “I’ve been dreaming of plowing your ass since I met you.”

“Smack my ass again.”

Cas smacked Dean’s ass even harder, leaving a nice red hand print behind. He pulled his fingers from Dean and spread lube on his cock, then sunk into his still tight hole until he bottomed out. “Fuck. You’re still so tight. I’m not hurting you am I?”

Dean cried out and moaned happily. “Just like that. Perfect. You're perfect, Angel. Fuck me. Make me cum on your cock.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hips roughly, then started thrusting hard and deep into Dean, his hips slamming against Dean’s ass on every thrust. Dean gripped the edge of the desk and lifted his chest up, pressed his belly down and thrust his ass back in time with Cas' thrusts.

Cas moved his hands to Dean’s shoulders, making him arch his back more as his hips kept their brutal pace. “If you don’t like this, let me know and I’ll stop.” Cas said as he moved one hand to Dean’s neck and arched his back even more, making it hard for Dean to breathe. Dean shifted his weight slightly so he could touch Cas' arm. He nodded and lightly brushed his fingers along the wrist holding him in place.

Cas moved his other hand to Dean’s chest. He shifted his hips slightly so every thrust would come in contact with Dean’s prostate. Dean clenched his ass around Cas' cock as his orgasm built quickly. His brain couldn't form words and he hoped his moans and grunts told Cas just how good he felt and how happy he was.

Cas held Dean tight as he slammed directly against his prostate. “Close…” Cas moaned as he tweaked Dean’s nipple hard.

Dean nodded quickly, then arched back even more and froze as he came hard, all over Bobby's desk. Cas thrust into Dean a few more times, then cried out as he filled Dean. He let go of Dean’s throat and carefully lowered him to the desk before collapsing on his lover.

Dean drew in heavy breaths with his eyes closed as he lay blanketed by Cas. As his breathing evened out, he started laughing softly. “Oh my God, Angel. That was awesome. Even though I knew there was some danger, I felt safe. I knew you'd take care of me. When I came, it was like an explosion. Holy shit. We gotta do that one again, my sweet Angel.”

Cas kissed the back of Dean’s neck as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I knew you'd let me know if I’d held your throat for longer than you could handle.” Cas gently ran his fingers over Dean’s throat. “Maybe one day, I’ll be ok enough to try that.” 

Cas slowly pushed himself up and pulled out of Dean’s abused hole. “Your ass is so red right now.” He said as he smacked it lightly.

Dean gasped as Cas pulled out and yelped at the final smack. He pushed himself up and looked at his shirt. 'Worth it.' He took his cum-covered shirt off and used it to wipe up any remaining evidence on the desk, his dick, and his ass.

“I love you so damn much, Angel.” He kissed Cas as he used the shirt to wipe off Cas' cock as well. “I've got to go in the house and get another shirt and something to drink. Oh, crap. I was supposed to call Gabe. Can I borrow your cell? I forgot mine at home.”

Cas gently pulled Dean’s pants back up and buttoned and zipped them. “Yeah.” Cas pulled up his own pants and pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to Dean. “How bad does your ass hurt? I have some salve, but it’s at home, of course.”

Dean smiled. “Its sore, but it's a good sore. Might have to eat lunch standing up, though. Are you OK, Angel?”

Cas kissed Dean softly then peppered kisses across his throat. “I’m great. I’ve been wanting to bend you over something and fuck you hard for a while now.” Cas said then ran his hand over Dean’s bare chest. “I dreamed of finding someone like you. I never thought I’d happen though.” He glanced up at Dean through his lashes. “I love you so much.”

Dean hugged Cas tight. “Me too. Mom used to say that angels were watching over me, and here you are. My Angel.” He kissed Cas gently, then reluctantly pulled away. “Need me to bring you anything?”

Cas smiled and shook his head. “I’m good until we break for lunch, but if you just  _ have _ to pop back in, then you could bring a snack.”

Dean nodded and leaned in and gave Cas a quick peck on the cheek before leaving the office. He hurried into the house, dropping his soiled shirt in the basket of dirty clothes just inside the laundry room door. Dean took the stairs two at a time, as he started to look through Cas' phone. He knew Cas had a few recordings of him practicing his speaking. He wanted to transfer them to his phone so he could listen to them whenever he wanted. Being away from Cas for even the length of a class period was difficult, so he hoped having the recordings would help.

“Holy shit. 167 recordings over a 2 month period! Ugh. I'm gonna need Sam's help with this.”

Dean clicked on the earliest recording and listened to Cas' rough, scratchy voice say, "I love" before it gave out and a whispered 'damn' was said.

“Angel.” He wiped his eyes and grabbed a shirt from his dresser. As he was about to close the drawer, Dean spotted the ring box. Inside was the class ring that Bobby insisted on buying for him, saying that as hard as he worked in school, at the shop and trying to raise his little brother, he deserved it. Dean grabbed the box and shoved it in his pocket. He put his shirt on and dialled Gabe.

“Cassie! Nice to get a call instead of a text.”

“Sorry, Gabe, it's Dean. I borrowed Cas' phone. I just wanted to let you know that everything is good. It took some talking from me and tears and stuff from Cas, but I got him back. Any headway on the documents? I think Cas feels like Mike actually OWNS him. He needs to know that he isn't a.... thing or... I dunno, a pet maybe. He needs to know that he doesn't belong to anyone but himself.”

“Dean-o! Great news! So, I decided to go a different route because I was thinking the same thing. I’m drawing up paperwork to transfer guardianship to yours truly! Mike already said he’d sign it after I told him how quickly Cassie spiraled, thanks to him.”

“Really? That's awesome! Will it take long to get it done? It needs to happen soon.”

“Nah. I’m almost done with all the legal mumbo jumbo then we both sign and file it and I become the proud parent of a bouncing baby boy! Oh! I sent you some videos of Cassie doing his thing when he was trying to talk. One’s of him leaving the message! I guess since you don’t have your phone, you haven’t seen them yet.”

Dean smiled in relief. “That's great. Let me know when you guys are going to sign. I want Cas to be there to see it. Thanks Gabe. For this and the videos and everything. I gotta go.”

“Okie dokie. It should be in the next few days. A week at the latest. Take care of my baby boy. They grow up so fast.” Gabe said with a fake sniffle.

After Dean hung up, he went downstairs to see if Sam and Bobby were back. He sat on the couch and hissed and stood back up.

Sam walked in the door with all sorts of electrical goodies. “Bobby’s out there, grumbling that you’re probably locked away with Cas, doing things we don’t need to know about. He’ll be glad to know you’re not.”

Dean looked up at Sam and cleared his throat. “Hey Sam. Is, uh, is there any way you can send all these audio files to my phone? I just, I want them, but I'm afraid Cas'll delete them.” He looked down at Cas' phone again before holding it out for Sam to see.

Sam looked at the phone and scrolled through the messages. “ _ All _ of them?” 

Sam clicked on a random one and Cas’ rough voice filled the room. “I love you, De-“ ‘-an’. A frustrated groan followed. ‘Stupid fucking vocal chords!’

Sam glanced up at Dean. “These are all him practicing?”

Dean grinned widely and nodded. “Beautiful, ain't it? Can you save them?”

“Yeah. It’ll take me a minute though. So, when are you making it official?” Sam teased.

Dean looked at Sam in confusion. “Make what official?”

Sam laughed. “When are you going to ask him? You two are practically already married.”

Dean's jaw dropped and he started to sputter. “I...I.. shit.” Dean pulled the ring box from his pocket. “I was thinking of asking him to wear my class ring. Stupid, right? I mean, I just asked him to move in with me. I hope you're ok with that. Anyway, what if he doesn't want to marry a dumb mechanic?”

Sam looked at Dean in shock, then smiled. “Dean, you’re so blind sometimes. Have you seen the way he looks at you? Seriously, if he didn’t want to marry a mechanic, then he wouldn’t be dating a mechanic and he wouldn’t be in that office, organizing God knows how many boxes of paperwork.  _ And _ he wouldn’t have recorded himself saying he loves you over and over just so he could say it in a voicemail.”

Sam could still see the doubt written on Dean’s face so he scrolled to the oldest recordings and hit one, letting it play. “Tell me this doesn’t sound like someone that wants to be with you.” Sam scrolled and hit another. He continued to play random recordings, until he got to one that shocked both of them. Cas’ voice was still rough, but sounding better.

“I love you, Dean.” Cas sighed heavily. ‘Why am I doing this? It’s not going to make you want me more.’ A loud crash was heard as Cas swiped his arm across his desk, sending everything to the floor. ‘Balth was right. Nobody will ever want to marry me.’ Cas’ soft cries could be heard until the recording ended. Sam looked at the phone then at Dean with wide eyes.

Dean swayed on his feet, then sat heavily on the couch. The pain from his rear barely registering. His heart ached for the Castiel on the recording. Dean looked to the doorway. “Sam, take care of the recordings... I've.. I've got to go talk to Cas.” He stood and walked out of the house.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys get a little sidetracked at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

Cas opened a new box and sighed heavily as he started trying to organize the papers inside. He sat back in his chair and stretched as he looked around. He noticed the top of a frame peeking out from behind a stack of books. He shifted the books out of the way and smiled when Dean’s grinning face was exposed. Cas pulled the frame out and placed it on the desk. Dean was holding up a beautiful catfish, proudly, with Sam in the background still fishing. “God, I love you.”

Bobby stood in the doorway, holding a laptop box in one hand and a printer tucked under the other arm. “Seem to be getting pretty good at the talking thing. You haven't been leading my boy on, have you? Pretending to not be able to talk and all?”

Cas jumped and almost knocked the frame off the desk. “I... What? No! Why would you think I’d do that?”

Bobby walked it and set the boxes down. “It just seems strange that just a few days ago, the most you could do was whisper to Dean and now, here you are, talking up a storm.”

Dean came in and nudged Bobby out of the way. He took a hold of Cas' hands. “He's been practicing, a lot. Haven't you, Angel?”

Cas buried his face in Dean’s shoulder and nodded, then lifted his head and looked at Dean with tear filled eyes. “You don’t think I’ve been lying to you...do you?”

Dean looked deep in Cas' eyes. “No, Angel. It wasn't lying. It was a wonderful surprise that you wanted to be perfect. And it was.” He kissed Cas softly.

Cas slowly pulled away and nodded as he wiped his eyes. “I didn’t want you to hear my voice when it sounded so horrible. I wanted you to hear  _ my _ voice, not the one Raph made me have.” Cas wiped at his eyes as he took shaky breaths. “This is why I can’t talk to anyone else. They’ll all think I’ve been faking.”

“I don't care what anyone else thinks. You've been through some shit. That causes PTSD and anxiety.”

Bobby cleared his throat. “Well, this has been a sappy little slice of heaven, but Dean, you got work starting to pile up and, Cas, you have to set all this shit up.” Cas glanced at Bobby and the equipment he was holding, then looked down and nodded.

Dean glanced at Bobby, then back to Cas. “Hang on, you old grump. I'll get back on it in a minute.” He squeezed Cas' hand. “Do you want to work here? I know it can seem like Bobby hates everyone. And he might on some level, but he really does like you. He keeps telling me how good you are for me, how much happier I've been since we met. But if you only want to be here to hang out, that's fine. If you want to work, that's good too. It's up to you, Angel.”

Bobby took off his baseball cap and wiped his brow. “Oh, Balls! Dean's right. I didn't even ask if you wanted a job, I just pushed it on you. You already seem like one of my boys.”

Cas took shaky breaths as he slowly looked up at Dean. “I...I did...until... I w-wasn’t p-pl-“ ‘playing you.’ He buried his face in Dean’s shoulder and cried.

Bobby hung his head. “I'm sorry, Castiel. Dean said it himself, I'm an old grump, but I'm protective of my boys. ALL THREE of my boys. I just had to check. I want you to know that you're welcome here in any capacity you want.”

Cas sniffled and hiccuped as he held onto Dean tightly, needing the support that only Dean was able to give him.

Sam walked in to give the phone back. “Cas? You left your phone inside.” He held the phone out to Cas and looked at Bobby and Dean. “What are you guys doing to him? Come on, let's go get you some water and watch tv for a while. These two need to get their feet out of their mouths. Or do you want me to call your brother Gabe to pick you up?”

Cas whimpered and clung to Dean tighter as he shook his head. “Why don't you come out and watch me work? You don't have to make any decisions right now, OK?”

Cas swallowed hard. ‘Ok.’

Bobby looked at Sam as Dean and Cas headed to the garage. “Alright, Sam. Set this crap up.”

Sam glared at Bobby. “What’d you do?”

Bobby sighed. “I heard the boy talking to himself. Not that whispering he'd been doing, but actual talking, like on the voicemail. So, like a damn fool, I asked if he'd been pretending. Now, I think the poor boy thinks I hate him.”

Sam held up Cas’ phone and opened up the recordings and scrolled through them, showing Bobby. “Each one of these is Cas practicing saying I love you, Dean. Dean thought there were  _ only _ 167, but I found about 100 more that hadn’t been fully deleted.” Sam tapped on the first one then scrolled through playing others so Bobby could hear the progression. He sighed and put the phone down. “Dean was just in the house asking me to save every single one of those so they wouldn’t be gone when Cas deletes them. Bobby, he’s got his ring in his pocket. He said he wants to ask Cas to wear it. Cas already lives with him, Bobby.”

Dean leaned over the engine compartment and looked back at Cas, who was trying to stay close without hovering. “Hand me that wrench, Angel. The 3/8ths.” When Cas turned to search the toolbox, Dean pulled the ring box from his pocket and dropped to one knee. Cas, having found the correct tool, turned back around. “I know I don't really have anything to offer you, but I want to spend forever with you. Castiel James Novak, will you be mine forever? Will you marry me?” He held up the box and opened it, revealing the class ring. “It's just my class ring for now, but I wanted you to have something to wear until I can find the perfect ring for my Angel.”

Cas dropped the wrench and held his hand over his mouth. ‘Are you...’ “Are you serious?”

“I've never been more serious. You're my whole world, my everything. I can't imagine my life without you.”

Cas wiped at his eyes and nodded. “Yes. Of course I’ll marry you.” He held out his left hand to Dean.

Dean slid the ring on Cas' finger and stood to kiss his fiancé.

Bobby and Sam hooted and applauded from the door to the office. Bobby smiled and wiped a tear from his eye as he walked over to the newly engaged couple.

“Welcome to the family, son.” He pulled Cas into a quick, tight hug, before clearing his throat and pulling back to hug Dean.

“Wait!” Cas pulled his own ring off his finger and got on one knee, holding it up to Dean. “Dean Robert Winchester, will you also be mine forever?”

Dean held out his left hand and grinned from ear to ear. “Yes, Cas. Yes.” He pulled Cas up off his knee and looked over at his brother. “Dude, I'm gonna get married!” Dean raised his hand and waggled his fingers at Sam.

Sam smirked. “I knew what you meant when you said you were gonna ask him to wear it.”

Cas gently turned Dean’s face toward his own and kissed him softly. “Don’t ever say you don’t have anything to offer me. The only reason that could ever be true is because you’ve already given me everything.”

“The same goes for me, Angel.” 'I would say we get out of here and celebrate by making love, but my ass hurts too much to drive home right now.' Dean whispered with a chuckle.

Cas gently ran his hand over Dean’s ass, smirking when the touch made Dean suck in air. ‘I’d remind you that you do have a room here, but Bobby might hurt you if you walk away from this car again.’

Dean laughed. “Yeah. Ok. I.. uh.. I really do need that wrench.”

Cas picked the wrench up and handed it to Dean, watching as he started to get back to work. “Dean? You should put the ring on your necklace so it doesn’t get caught on something in the engine.”

Dean looked at his hand sadly, but nodded. “Yeah, you're right. I just like seeing it there. I'm yours.” Reluctantly, he slid the ring off, took off the necklace that Sam had given him several years before for Christmas, put the ring on the cord, and then put it back around his neck, tucking it inside his shirt.

Cas kissed Dean’s cheek. “I like seeing it there, too, but I also like seeing you with all your fingers.” Cas watched as Dean bent over the engine and adjusted a few times because of the pressure of the jeans against his raw ass. He sighed and dug in Dean’s pocket for the keys to Baby and pulled them out. “l have to get something from the house. I’ll be right back.” 

Sam watched Cas head to Baby with his jaw on the ground. “You let him drive Baby?”

Dean looked at Sam and shrugged. “If I trust him with my heart, I guess I can trust him with my car. Anyway, he has his own Baby, she just happens to be the more common 2-door.”

Sam whistled and glanced at Bobby. “I knew he was gone, but I had no clue he was this gone.”

Bobby nodded and steered Sam back into the office. “So, you got me to buy all this junk. Make it do something.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Technically, Cas got you to buy it because you didn’t like what I was telling you.”

Cas pulled up at the house and ran inside, grabbing a bag and the few items he was needing. He smiled every time he saw the ring on his hand. Cas noticed Dean’s phone on the nightstand and picked it up, then narrowed his eyes when he saw Gabe had sent videos to Dean. He opened one and played it. “I’m going to kill my brother.” He shoved the phone in his pocket and went back out to Baby.

Bobby lightly smacked Sam on the back of the head. “Don't be mouthy. Get to work.”

“Hey! Am I getting paid for this?”

Cas drove back to the garage and parked Baby, then went inside. “Why is my brother sending you videos of me?”

“The sooner you get this all hooked up, the sooner you can use that wiffy you're so excited about. That's your pay.”

Dean stood up straight and looked at his phone in Cas' hand. “Angel, don't be mad. Gabe was worried about you after that shit with Mike. I guess he wanted me to know just how hard you practiced and how worried you were about using your voice. He means well, Angel.”

Cas shook his head. “I’m not mad, but he’s going to pay.” Cas glanced at the office when he heard Bobby and Sam. “We need to go somewhere private for a little bit.”

Dean leered at Cas as felt his dick start to harden in his jeans. “Yeah? Did you bring a toy? I hope it's the remote vibe so I can tease you while I work.” Dean took Cas' hand and led him to the house.

Cas walked with Dean as he chewed on his lip. “I, uh, I did bring a few things like that, just in case. I mainly went home for you.”

“Huh? What did you get for me, well, other than my phone?”

Cas closed and locked the bedroom door. “Pants and boxers off.”

Dean looked a little worried, but he trusted that his boyfriend... no, his fiancé, wouldn't do anything to make him hurt more. He reached for his belt and started to unbuckle it. “Angel, I'm not sure I can take another round right now.” He opened his fly and carefully slid his jeans and boxers down to his knees.

Cas shook his head. “All the way off, then bend over the bed or lay on your stomach, whichever is most comfortable.”

Dean looks down at his boots. “Uh, Cas, I can't sit to untie my boots and I can't take my pants off over them. Can you help me, please?”

Cas knelt down and undid Dean’s boots, then slid them off his feet. He waited for Dean to put a hand on his shoulder before he pulled his legs from his pants. Cas stood up and kissed Dean’s cheek. “Get comfortable on the bed.”

Dean climbed onto the bed and laid on his stomach. He pillowed his arms under his head, as he looked over at Cas. Cas pulled a jar of salve from the bag and gently started spreading it over Dean’s tender ass. “I wish you would have told me you were this tender. I would have gone home for this immediately.”

Dean sighed as the salve eased the pain. “It wasn't that bad at first. Maybe my jeans are too tight.” He hmmmed, relaxing into Cas' gentle touch. “That feels so good. Next time we go that rough will have to be on a day off and I'm wearing sweats or nothing.”

Cas continued to gently work the salve into Dean’s skin. “I brought something else for you to wear. How do you feel inside? Does that hurt?”

Dean was nearly asleep when Cas asked. “Hmm, maybe a little. It's more than when you usually fuck me, but not real bad.”

Cas ran his finger over Dean’s hole. “Does that hurt?”

Dean hissed slightly, then sighed. “Yeah. I loved it though. Please.... please don't let this be the only time you'll take me rough like that.” He felt the tears stinging in his eyes.

Cas pulled his hand away and coated his fingers in salve. “I’d never stop doing something you love unless it was dangerous. I’m only asking so I can ease your pain, Honeybee.” Cas teased Dean’s hole with his well coated finger before slowly slipping it inside him.

Dean's breath hitched, he didn't know if it was from the relief of hearing that or from the pain/pleasure of Cas' finger sliding in and out slowly.

Cas continued to distribute the salve then pulled his finger out and pushed a different, well coated, finger in. “You’ve never dealt with this before. You’ve never been sore and woken up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and had to bite your arm to keep from screaming and waking your parents. I don’t want you to ever know that feeling.”

“Oh, God. Balth did that to you? I'm so sorry you suffered so much at his hands.”

“I told you he hurt me. How does it feel now?”

Dean shifted and wiggled a little. “Better. I know you need it rough sometimes. If I hurt you, tell me and I'll do this for you. I don't ever want you to suffer like that again, Angel.”

“Of course. Aftercare is very important.” Cas wiped off his hand and pulled some pants and silk boxers from the bag. “Don’t laugh. They’ll feel good against your skin and these are my pants so they should be loose on you.”

Dean nodded and stood to get dressed in the fresh clothes. “I trust you.” He pulled on the boxers, enjoying the cool fabric on his heated skin. Next, he put on the pants and the belt from his own jeans. He stepped into his boots, eyed Cas, and hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed to tie his boots. When he realized the pain was tolerable, he smiled up at Cas. “You truly are an Angel, aren't you?”

Cas shrugged. “I just know how to take care of this kind of stuff.”

Dean hugged Cas and kissed his cheek. “I know you don't see it. One day, you will, even if it kills me. But the fact that you care so much about making other people feel good, even if it makes you uncomfortable or upset, means so much. I want to be that way. You make me a better person, just by being you. That's angelic.”

Cas smiled softly as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Then, by that definition, you must also be an angel. You’ve saved me more times than I can count.”

Dean blushed. “I love you. Wow. We're engaged. Amazing.”

Cas laughed a little and looked at the ring on his finger. “Yeah. I never thought you or anyone else would want to marry me. He said I wasn’t the kind of guy anyone would want to marry. I was just someone to keep around for fun.”

Dean looked down sheepishly. “I know. I.. I heard. When you showed me that you had recordings of your practice, I wanted to save them to my phone so I could have a piece of you with me when you're not near, like at school and stuff. I saw so many and clicked on some at random. I heard you get upset about your voice and breakdown because of  _ him _ . I'm sorry for snooping. But, your voice is so beautiful. Forgive me?”

Cas smacked his hand over his face and fell backwards onto the bed. “Ugh. Why’d you want to hear those? I sounded horrible.” Cas split his fingers open to peek at Dean. “...Which breakdown because of him?”

Dean sat beside Cas on the bed and wrapped his arms around him. “Um, it sounded like when you "redecorated" your room and swiped everything off your desk, then you were talking about not knowing why you were doing this and how  _ he _ said you weren't worth marrying, only to keep for fun. Then, all I heard was crying.” Dean moved Cas' hands. “Don't hide from me, please. As much as it hurts that you were in such pain, I love that you wanted to do that for me, a dumb mechanic.”

Cas gave Dean a worried look. “That’s not why you asked...is it?”

“Angel, no. I wanted to marry you after that first kiss.”

Cas’ look changed from worried to confused. “But... But you ignored me and pushed me away. Sometimes I wasn’t even sure that you liked me.”

Dean laughed at himself. “I know. I was confused about myself, in denial about my sexuality and I was scared of my world turning upside down. But, through all that, one thing was constant, I knew I had to be near you. I knew I had to have you in my life. Then, I was afraid you wouldn't want me like that. I wanted to wait until I had a real ring to give you. I wanted it to be all romantic. Then, there you were, looking all beautiful and perfect. I knew I couldn't wait any longer.”

Bobby knocked on the bedroom door. “Ok, boys, I'm all for celebrating, but Donna's coming in for an oil change and you know she won't let anyone else touch her Jeep.”

Cas sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “We just needed to talk. We’ll be out in a second.”

“Alright. Don't keep her waiting.”

Dean called out to Bobby. “Fine, fine. Just give us a few.” He looked back to Cas. “I know, Halloween was completely my fault. I hadn't figured out how to balance. When I nearly lost you, I knew that all those other people don't mean shit. You and Sam are really the only people that truly matter to me. I can't lose you.”

“You didn’t even try to balance that night.”

“I know.” Dean hung his head. “I've been beating myself up about that ever since. I can't go back and fix it, I can only learn from it and move on.”

“If there’s even a slight chance the same thing will happen at the formal, then I don’t want to go.”

Dean kissed Cas again and again. “There is absolutely no chance that I will leave your side for even a second. I won't be able to take my eyes off you long enough to even notice anyone else there. I want to show everyone my wonderfully handsome fiancé.”

Cas smiled softly. “Guess you need to get to the garage.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, let's go. You've got to meet Donna. She moved here a couple of years ago from Minnesota. She's hilarious, she'll love you.”

Cas stood up and headed for the door. “Do I have to talk to her?”

“Angel, I'm never gonna force you to do what makes you uncomfortable. If you don't want to talk, that's fine. Honestly, Donna tends to monopolize the conversation and the rest of us can barely get a word in edgewise. So, if you're more comfortable signing, I can translate or you can write. Or you can sit there and listen. I'm just proud that you're my fiancé.” Cas stopped and pressed a remote into Dean's hand. “Is this for…”

Cas nodded. “I put it in when I went home. I needed something. Now, I want you to control my pleasure. But if you do anything crazy while I’m with someone else like Bobby or Sam, then I’ll beat you with the giant wrench thingy you use to take tires off.”

“You can trust me, Angel. If you want me to stop completely, say Poughkeepsie. And, it's called a lug wrench.” He kissed Cas deeply and turned the vibrating plug to the lowest setting.

Cas moaned into the kiss, then pulled back. “Lug wrench, tire iron, the thing you bust out your ex’s head lights with. It’s all the same thing.”

Dean opened the door and mock-gasped. “You wound me! I'd never do anything to risk becoming your ex. Come on, Angel.” As they came down the porch steps, walking hand in hand toward the garage, a big, maroon Jeep pulled up and honked, the blonde inside waving excitedly.

Cas leaned toward Dean. “You’ll never be an ex. I’ve only had one ex, Dean.”

“Wait, you beat on  _ him _ with a lug wrench? Shit! Good for you, Angel!”

“I could never hit him like that. I busted out the headlights and taillights on his BMW.”

Dean threw back his head and laughed. “Still, way to go!”

Cas shrugged. “I told Gabe what happened and he said to go after him with the tire iron. I said no, so he said every time he broke up with Kali she took out the lights on his car, so I should at least do that.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, messing with a man's car... that's the ultimate insult.” He looked over at Donna, as she climbed out of her Jeep and waved. “Hey, Donna! I want you to meet someone. Cas, this is Donna Hanscomb, Donna, this is my fiancé, Castiel Novak.”

Cas smiled and waved. ‘Hel...’ Cas coughed and cleared his throat. “Hello.”

Donna smiled her big, dimpled smile and threw her arms around both boys, pulling them into a three-way hug. “Hi-ya there Castiel! Castiel? That's a name. I always wished I had a more unique name. Donna is just so plain. So, fiancé, huh? When did this all happen? Have you set a date yet? Come on, let's go find some 'chocolate' while Dean changes my oil.”

Cas gave Dean a worried look.  _ “Help.” _

_ "I got ya."  _ “Hey, D-train, Cas isn't much of a talker. Dial it back a bit. How many Mochas did you have today?” He turned to Cas.  _ "Do you want to see if Sam needs help in the office or stay in the garage with me?" _

Cas shifted his hips a little.  _ “You.” _

Dean nodded. “Head on inside, Angel. I'll pull the Jeep into bay 2.” He turned to Donna and held his hand out for her keys. “He's kinda shy and has some vocal chord damage. Meeting new people can be a little rough. Give him some time and he'll probably come around. Why don't you go rescue Bobby from Sam. They just bought a computer and I'm sure Bobby is totally overwhelmed by Sam's technospeak.” Cas went inside the garage and waited for Dean.

“Awww. Poor thing. Hey-ya, Bobby! I need some help with a doohickey!” Donna yelled as she headed for the office.

Dean hopped in the Jeep and pulled it in the bay. As he got out, he pulled the remote out and changed the rhythm of the vibrations. “You did so good with Donna. She can be too much sometimes, but you asked me for help. I'm really proud of you, Angel.” He quickly kissed Cas before starting to work on the Jeep.

Cas moaned and squirmed. “I t-tried.”

Dean raised the lift and gathered the tools he needed for the job. “Yep. You actually did better than Sam did when he first met Donna.” He smirked at Cas' attempt to get comfortable on the chair. “Doing Ok there, Angel?”

Cas swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah. Just remember I’ll be in control next time.”

Dean stopped for a moment and let his eyelids flutter in anticipation. “That sounds wonderful. I can't wait.” He ramped up the intensity a notch. Hearing Cas whimper caused Dean's dick to twitch.

Cas bit his lip and thanked god that he’d thought to put a cock ring on. “F-fuck...Dean…” Cas groaned.

Dean continued his work, occasionally dropping his tools so he would have to bend over and wiggle his ass in Cas' direction. Cas whimpered and shifted in the chair to lessen the pressure on his prostate.

Dean lowered the lift and started pouring fresh oil in the Jeep. While he waited, he looked at the remote and noticed another button. Curiosity got the better of him and he pressed it. Cas clasped a hand over his mouth and cried out, hoping his hand muffled the sound enough to not draw any attention to them. He panted as beads of sweat rolled down his face.

Dean turned in surprise when Cas cried out. “Angel? Are you still good? You look like you're having some trouble.”

Cas rocked his hips in time with the thrusts. He threw back his head and moaned long and low. Dean's breath hitched as he watched Cas rock and thrust against the air. Cas' moans and whines and panting made Dean's cock stand up, the head slid smoothly against the silk of the boxers. “Fuck, Angel. You look fantastic like that. Mmm... the sounds you're making are turning me on so much. Are you gonna cum, Angel?”

Cas barely even registered that Dean was speaking to him. His hips moved on their own as he palmed at his cock through his pants. His clothes clung to his body due to how much he was sweating. Cas body went stiff as he came with a silent scream.

Dean rubbed the heel of his hand across the head of his cock through his pants. He moaned softly. He saw Cas twitch and heard him whimper. “Oh, fuck, that was amazing.” He remembered the remote in his hand and pressed the off button. “I wish we were home. I'd stick my cock down your throat and let you drink my cum.”

Cas panted and laid his head back on the top of the low headrest. He swallowed hard and reached into his pants with shaky hands, then removed the cock ring. He pulled it out of his pants and set it on top of his leg.

Dean's eyes widened. “I thought a cock ring was supposed to keep you from cumming. How...?”

Cas swallowed hard and peeled his tongue from the roof of his mouth as he tapped on the cock ring. “Makes it harder, not impossible.” Cas swallowed hard again. “Couldn’t thrust at one? Had to do ten?” Cas asked with a lazy slur.

“Thrust? Ten? OK, we need to go over the settings on the remote before I have control again.”

Cas giggled. “Why’d you think I lost my shit?”

Dean laughed. “Honestly, I didn't think. You looked so fucking beautiful. Turned me on so much. Look, I'm still rock hard.”

Cas moaned when he saw the bulge in Dean’s pants. “Wanna suck you down my throat.”

Dean moaned low in his throat. “Fuck, yes. I should finish the Jeep first, but fuck, I want you so bad, Angel.”

Cas reached out and hooked a finger in Dean’s belt loop, pulling him closer. He rubbed his face over the bulge and mouthed at it through the fabric. “Wouldn’t take long if you choked me with it.”

Dean grabbed a handful of Cas' hair, and pulled his head back to look up at him. “You trust me with this?” Cas nodded. “Ok. But I want you to tap my leg twice if you need me to pull back.”

Cas smiled. “Ok.” He unbuckled Dean’s belt, then undid the pants and pulled Dean’s cock out. He pushed the pants and boxers down enough that they weren’t in the way, but didn’t expose his red ass. Cas opened his mouth and looked up at Dean through his lashes.

Dean caressed Cas' cheek and jaw. “Gorgeous.” He tugged Cas' head forward and slid his cock into the open mouth. Cas' tongue flicked at the shaft as he sunk deeper. “Deep breath, Angel.”

Cas placed a hand on each of Dean’s thighs and took a deep breath. Dean kept his eyes locked on Cas as he pressed even deeper, into his throat. Dean moaned as he felt Cas tighten around the head.

Cas moved his hands up and down Dean’s thighs to let him know he was ok.

Dean pulled back and pressed back in several times. When he pulled back, he paused to let Cas take a breath, and every time he pressed in, he pressed deeper, until Cas' nose was buried in Dean's pubic hair. Cas shifted so his nose was smushed against Dean’s body, then swallowed.

“Oh, fuuuck.” Dean's hips bucked forward, as his fist tightened in Cas' hair. Cas swallowed again and grabbed the hand not fisted in his hair. He brought it down to his throat and made Dean feel how he filled his throat.

“Angel. Feels so good.” Dean stroked Cas' throat, pulled back and thrust back in with more force than before. Cas squeezed out tears, but quickly rubbed Dean’s leg. He grabbed Dean’s hand and positioned it so it was holding his jaw in place and putting pressure on his throat. He squeezed his hand around Dean’s then put his hand back on his thigh.

“You want me to squeeze your throat? Tap when it's hard enough.” Dean started to squeeze tighter and tighter as he thrust in and out slowly. Cas waited until he knew that everything combined would make this amazing for Dean, then tapped on his leg once. Dean stopped adding pressure and just held it there as he continued to slowly fuck Cas' throat.

“Beautiful Angel.”

Cas swallowed hard a few times as a few more tears spilled from his eyes. Dean gasped at the tightening around the head of his cock with every swallow.    
“So good, yeah. Swallow my cock.”

Cas continued swallowing as he smacked Dean’s ass in an attempt to tell him he doesn’t have to be so careful. Dean pulled back enough to let Cas pull in air. “Another big breath.” Cas inhaled deeply and Dean began fucking his throat hard and fast.

Cas squeezed his eyes shut as his fingers dug into Dean’s thighs. He tried to swallow when Dean was deep in his throat, but it was hard to keep up, so he just kept swallowing. Dean moaned and started to lose his rhythm as he raced to his climax. “Fuck, yeah, I'm almost there, Angel.”

Tears streamed down Cas’ cheeks as he kept swallowing. He moved one hand to Dean’s ass and squeezed his cheek, hoping it’d give him the right amount of pain and pleasure. Dean felt Cas squeeze his tender ass and hissed. “Harder, Angel, I'm right there.” Cas squeezed tighter and sent Dean over the edge. He bucked hard twice and froze with a low shout and emptied his seed down Cas' throat.

Cas swallowed over and over, milking Dean’s cock as he came. Dean loosened his grip on Cas' throat, rubbed along the jawline and pulled his softening cock from his throat. “Angel, let me pull out, you're trying to suck my brains out through my dick.”

Cas inhaled deeply once Dean pulled out, then immediately started coughing.

“Shit. Cas, are you Ok, Angel?”

Cas coughed and nodded.  _ “I’m fine. Give me a second.” _

Dean pulled up his pants and boxers, tucked his dick away and fastened his pants and belt. “Better yet? Do you need a drink?”

Cas wiped at his eyes as his coughing slowed. “Yeah.” He croaked then winced as he rubbed his throat.

“Yeah to which question, Angel? I'll bet you'd like something warm and soothing on your throat, huh?”

Cas nodded.  _ “Both, I guess.” _

Dean thought for a moment. “Bobby usually has coffee brewed, but I don't know how soothing that would be. Sammy might have some cocoa. I doubt there's any tea. That would probably be best.”

_ “Hot tea with honey and lemon is the best, but cocoa should help.” _

“It'll be in the house. Want me to get it for you, go with you or wait here?”

Cas looked down at his pants.  _ “Can you make it while I change pants and get the plug out?” _

Dean looked at the soaked front of Cas' pants and laughed. “Sure thing, Angel. Let's go.” He helped Cas stand and pressed a kiss to his irritated throat. As they walked to the house, Dean felt a dopey grin spread across his face. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

Cas frowned.  _ “Not in the past five minutes. You’re slacking.” _

“I love you more than cheeseburgers, more than pizza, more than pie.”

Cas eyed Dean.  _ “More than Baby?” _

Dean answered without hesitation. “Angel, Baby doesn't hold a candle to you. Yes, I love you more than Baby.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s cheek.  _ “Only thing I can use is sex, and while I do love you more than sex, I love sex with you a lot.” _

Dean kissed Cas' cheek. “I know, Angel. I feel your love flowing from you like sunshine.” Once inside, Dean went to the kitchen and Cas went to the bathroom to clean up and change.

Cas wrinkled his nose as he peeled his boxers off. He then reached behind himself and sucked in a breath as he slowly pulled the plug out. He cleaned himself up, then grabbed Dean’s discarded boxers and jeans and put them on. He looked at himself in the mirror and attempted to calm down his wild hair, then gently ran his fingers over the marks on his throat and smiled.

Dean set the water on to boil. He wished he could make the good cocoa from scratch with milk, but Bobby didn't have the ingredients, so he'd settle for the powdered packet. As he waited, he pulled the ring Cas gave him from his shirt, looked at it and smiled.

Cas went down to the kitchen and snuggled up behind Dean, wrapping his arms around him.

“Mmm. Hey. Missed you.”

Cas kissed the back of Dean’s neck. ‘I didn’t think you’d do it.’

“I know. But I knew you needed to know you could trust me. Trust that I'll give you what you need, stop when you ask and only cause you pleasurable pain.”

Cas kissed behind Dean’s ear. ‘I know I can trust you. I know you’re not either one of  _ them _ . I just thought you wouldn’t because you’d be afraid it’d cause more trauma.’ He gently turned Dean’s face toward his own. ‘Did you really think I didn’t know I could trust you?’

Dean shrugged. “I have to trust you too. Trust that you know how much you can take and will tell me when to stop.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘I know this might seem like it was more than I could take, but it wasn’t. You’re more endowed than Balth, so I’ve never taken as much as you before, but I’m fine. Throat’s sore like usual, nothing feels different.’ Cas kissed Dean again. ‘I’m sorry I scared you with the coughing fit. I’m just glad you know ASL so I could sign to you.’

Dean kissed Cas' throat and along his jaw. He huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, me too, Angel. If you hadn't been able to sign and tell me you were fine, I would have flipped.” The kettle finally came to a boil. Dean turned off the burner and finished making the cocoa for Cas.

Cas smiled softly. ‘I would have found a way to let you know.’

Dean handed Cas the mug. “I know you would have, Angel.” He led Cas back out to the garage so he could finish up Donna's Jeep. Bobby and Donna were waiting in the bay. “Don't start, Bobby. Cas has used his voice too much the past few days and got into a coughing fit. We went in to get him some cocoa to soothe his throat. I'm almost done with the job. Just gotta button her back up.” Sam laughed from inside the office.

Cas gave Bobby a sheepish look. ‘Sorry, Bobby.’ Cas coughed and took a sip of his drink.

“That's Ok, son. Go on and sit down while Dean finishes up.” Bobby turned to Donna to apologize for the delay.

“Boy-howdy, do I know about bad coughing fits. My Daddy, God rest him, he smoked too much and ended up with throat cancer. He loved his hot toddys, but you'd have to use tea or hot apple cider instead of whisky. The cocoa should do wonders, you betcha.”

Cas smiled and patted Dean’s ass, then sat down with his drink.

Dean winked at Cas.  _ "Feeling cocky, huh?"  _ Cas just smiled and sipped his cocoa. Dean quickly finished up with the Jeep and pulled it back out of the bay.

Bobby took Donna back to the office to settle up her bill. Dean ran Donna's keys to the office, gave her a quick hug and then he headed back out to see Cas.

“Dean, I better get invited to the wedding!”

“Oh, yeah, sure, you betcha!” Dean said, teasingly mocking the girl's Minnesota accent.

Cas snorted and waited for Dean to glance over at him.  _ “Not a good accent for you.” _

Dean laughed and waved Cas over and led him over to bay one. “I gotta get back on Rufus' car. Throat feeling any better?”

Cas smiled. ‘A little. I wish I’d thought to bring the spray with me.’

Dean glanced at the clock. “I can take lunch in about an hour. Can you wait that long to go get it or do you want to take Baby?”

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘I’m fine. If I wasn’t I’d be signing. The spray just numbs it.’

Dean bent over the engine and called back over his shoulder. “Ok, Angel. We'll go to lunch in about an hour and we'll go get your spray and some food then.” They heard Sam curse from the office.

Cas smiled. ‘Our first meal as an engaged couple.’


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little lunch time fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

“Damnit! Why won't it connect?”

Sam came out of the office and looked at Cas nervously. “Cas, um... I know you want to stay in here with Dean, but, well, I can't get the printer to connect to the laptop. Can you come look at it?”

Cas nodded. ‘Sure.’ He gently smacked Dean’s ass, making sure to hit the cheek he’d squeezed earlier. ‘Stay out of trouble.’ Cas smirked as he followed Sam into the office. ‘Sorry you had to hear...you know.’

Sam made a face with a tight expression. “Uh, yeah, I'm just glad I got the Wi-Fi working before then. I plugged in my ear buds and listened to some music... loud.”

Cas sighed and looked down. ‘That wasn’t exactly planned. We’ll try to be more careful.’

Sam sighed. “I get it. You just moved in with Dean and now you're engaged. Celebrating is part of it. Just, yeah, next time, get a little further away from the office.”

Cas nodded. ‘Yeah, so, umm, what’s the printer doing?’

Sam looked at the new equipment and sighed. “Everything is plugged in and powered on, but the laptop isn't finding the printer.”

Cas checked what network the laptop was on and the network the printer was on. ‘The laptop is on the 5ghz network and the printer is on the 3ghz network. They have to be on the same one to connect.’

“Oh yeah. Can you fix it?”

Cas messed with the computer and got them on the same network, then connected the printer and printed something. ‘There you go.’

Sam put the office copy of Donna's receipt on the scanner and scanned it to a file. When the image appeared on the screen, Sam bumped his shoulder against Cas' shoulder. “Yes! This is great! Now they can scan the daily receipts in, until I can convince Bobby to stop using the handwritten ones completely. Thanks, Cas! You're the best brother-in-law ever!”

Cas smiled. ‘So you’re really ok with this? Do you have any questions or concerns about me living with Dean?’

Sam thought for a moment. “Well, your family has way more money than we do, so I know you're not a gold digger. You already have an Impala, so it's not that. So, it must be that you actually love my insanely protective brother with the weird cowboy and classic rock obsessions.” Sam was giggling by the end. “No, Cas, I don't have any concerns. One question though. Where are you going to go for college next year? Dean's got a baseball scholarship to KU here in town. If you go somewhere far, he's gonna be so lonely.”

Cas snorted. ‘Yeah, so not a gold digger and my Impala is way more impressive than Dean’s.’ Cas winked. ‘I really do love him, a lot. I had a full ride to Texas A&M, but I declined it and got a full ride to KU, so I won’t be going anywhere.’

Sam sat back in the chair. “Huh. I couldn't imagine giving up a full-ride to Texas A&M. I want to go to Stanford. Dean hates the idea of me leaving, but that's still like 4 years away.”

Cas shrugged. ‘A&M just wasn’t a good fit for me anymore. It's better for me to stay here. Maybe Dean will ease up with time. He’ll have me so he won’t be alone. It’ll still be hard for him to have you so far away, but it wouldn’t be for forever.’

Sam started grabbing piles of receipts, sorting them to scan. “What are you gonna study at UKansas?”

Cas watched Sam excitedly work and wondered why Bobby even wanted to hire him. ‘Entomology, more specifically, melittology.’

Sam stared for a second. “Entomology is insects, right? What's melittology?”

Cas smiled fondly. ‘Bees.’

“Wow. When you say bees, you get almost the same look on your face that you do when you look at Dean.”

Cas laughed softly, then rubbed his throat. ‘He’s my Honeybee.’

Sam's face lit up in little brother excitement. “Honeybee?! Oh, that is PRICELESS! I've got to remember that.” Sam laughed for a little bit. “I wish Bobby'd let me actually work out here. He keeps telling me that he doesn't want me to get too "dug in" here. Plus, I'm only 14 and that's "too young to worry about working." I just want to help out my family.”

‘I can tell him I need an assistant because my voice comes and goes.’ Cas said then winked.

“Maybe. Wait. You still want to work here? That's fantastic! Bobby will be relieved that he doesn't need to learn so much of the computer. Dean is gonna be on cloud nine.”

‘Of course I do. I want to be near Dean and with my voice, it’d be hard to get anything else, plus I’ll officially be family soon.’

Sam nodded, smiling. He couldn’t wait to tell Bobby. “So, since it'll be your job, I think we need a database for customers and a receipt form on the computer. What do you think?”

Cas nodded. ‘Sounds good. Do you know how to do that or would you like me to show you?’

“Um, we just got the overview in business class. I don't really know how to do it. The idea sounded perfect for here. Could you show me?”

‘Yeah. I don’t know if Dean told you, but I’m kinda a big nerd.’

“Yeah, he says I'm a big nerd too. I like to read, sue me!” Sam shrugged.

‘I like to read and watch documentaries. I’ve gotten Dean interested in a few that I watch.’

Sam nodded. “I'm not sure he was as interested in watching the documentaries as he was in watching you watch them.”

‘Really? Did he say something to you?’

Sam laughed. “No, I just know my brother.”

Cas shook his head. ‘And he thinks it’s creepy that I watch him sleep.’

“That's just his paranoia.”

‘Paranoia, huh?’

“Yeah. Dad was a Marine who would run surprise fire drills. He kept having nightmares about Mom dying in a house fire. Anyway, Dean is still expecting to wake up with Dad standing at the foot of his bed, setting off a smoke detector.”

Cas and Sam talked for awhile as Cas showed Sam how to set up the database and add fields as they needed. Before long, it was lunchtime and Dean walked through the door, wiping his hands on a shop rag. “What are you two little nerds saying about me?”

Cas smiled sweetly. ‘Sam’s been giving me all kinds of juicy information. I never would have guessed that you wet the bed until you were ten.’

“What?! Sam! You know I didn't wet the bed until I was ten! Oh, God, what other kinds of lies has he told you?”

Sam doubled over, laughing, as Cas smirked. ‘None. We mainly talked about nerd stuff.’

Dean walked around the desk and offered a hand to Cas. “Don't scare me like that! Are you ready to go get some lunch, Angel?”

Cas nodded. ‘You really think he’d say anything bad about you?’

“Yes!”

Cas shook his head. ‘To him, you walk on water.’

Dean blushed and shook his head “I'm nothing special, I'm just his brother.”

Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek. ‘You’re his world.’

Sam started to make gagging noises behind them. “Cas, don't tell him that. He'll get an even more bloated ego.”

Cas rolled his eyes and shook his head. ‘You know you wouldn’t trade him for anyone else.’

Sam and Dean responded at the same time, "Yeah."

Cas laughed softly. ‘See. I know what I’m talking about.’

Dean kissed Cas on the tip of his nose. “Ok, smarty-pants, let's go. Hey, Sammy? Want us to bring you some lunch?”

“A salad!”

“Freak!”

“And it better not be a taco salad or something like that again!”

Dean looked at Cas. “I swear, I don't know where I went wrong with that kid.”

Cas shook his head. ‘What do you think of sushi?’

Sam perked up. “Sushi? I love sushi!”

“Sushi? Ew. Raw fish is best used as bait to catch fish you can deep fry.”

Cas shook his head. ‘It’s not all raw, Dean. Some is smoked.’

“And wrapped in seaweed.” Dean shudders at the thought.

Cas put his hand to his chin like he was deep in thought. ‘I may have to re-evaluate this relationship.’

“Don't be like that, Angel.”

‘Or maybe I’ll just have to take Sam out on a date without you.’

“You'd really trade me for my brother over sushi and salad? Maybe I'll have to see if Gabe wants burgers and pie?”

Cas cocked an eyebrow. _ “Go ahead. He’ll probably smack your ass a few times.” _

Dean cringed at the thought. “Ok, we really need to get out of here before I lose my appetite.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. ‘Yeah. Don’t try to use Gabe against me. I know him too well.’

“Noted. However, if you and Sam do want to go eat your disgusting foods that make you both happy, I won't stand in your way. Just don't forget to bring me pie.”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. ‘I know a great sushi place that’s also a hibachi steak house.’

Dean moaned. “Mmm, steak. Yeah, that sounds good. I don't think we have time for it today. It may just be a drive-thru kind of day.”

Cas furrowed his brows. ‘For our first meal as fiancés?’

Dean brushed his fingers down Cas' throat.  _ "You already had your first meal as fiancés." _

Cas shoved Dean playfully.  _ “That doesn’t count.” _

“Where do you want to go, Angel?”

Cas shrugged. ‘We don’t have time to go anywhere.’

“Angel, how about we go to that sushi steakhouse for dinner tonight? We can pick up something quick for now and it can be our first snack as fiancés.”

Cas shrugged. ‘I guess.’

“I know. It sucks.” Dean suddenly smacked his forehead. “I'm such an idiot. I know the perfect place. It's romantic and quick. Come on, Angel.”

Cas eyed Dean. ‘Ok.’

Dean opened the passenger door for Cas, then got in the driver's seat and started the engine. “This will seem odd at first, but you have to trust me.” He threw Baby in gear and drove off. 

‘...Ok.’

They made a quick stop at their house to get Cas' throat spray, before taking off again. Dean drove them to a small deli. “Don't worry, we're only getting the food here. Trust me, this place is the best deli in 50 miles.”

‘Ok.’

Dean took them inside, ordered sandwiches, potato salad, Coleslaw and a salad for Sam. They grabbed drinks from the cooler and headed out after paying. “Ok, for this part, close your eyes. I want it to be a surprise.”

Cas eyed Dean, then closed his eyes.

Dean drove to the lake and parked near the picnic area. “No peeking.” He went to the trunk and pulled out the old blanket he kept there for long car rides with Sam. He quickly spread the blanket out in the grass and went to get Cas and their lunches. “Come on, Angel. Just a few steps. Ok, stop.” He set the food down on the blanket. “Alright, open your eyes.”

Cas opened his eyes and smiled wide. “This is perfect, Honeybee.” He said in a slightly rough voice.

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. “I'm glad you like it, Angel. How's your throat? Is the spray helping?”

Cas kissed Dean softly and nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

Dean and Cas sat on the blanket and talked as they ate their lunches. “I've wanted to bring you back here for awhile. I figured it wouldn't be until spring before we'd be able. I'm just glad it hasn't snowed yet.”

Cas smiled and leaned against Dean. “I’m glad you did. This is perfect.” Cas glanced around. “What do you think about getting married here?”

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulders and looked around as well. “Yeah, I think it would be beautiful, all green and blooming.”

Cas nodded. “Some time this summer?”

Dean kissed Cas on his temple. “Yeah. That sounds good, Angel.”

Cas smiled. “Ok. I’ll start looking into how much it’ll run and when it’s available.”

Dean squeezed Cas closer. “I'm not good at planning stuff, but you tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it.”

“Show up.” Cas said with a chuckle.

Dean laughed. “I can do that.”

Dean felt Cas shiver. “Are you too cold, Angel? Go get in Baby and start her up while I clean up. Can't have you catch a cold.”

Cas playfully pushed Dean back on the blanket and leaned over him. “I’m used to colder weather than this.”

Dean tangled his fingers in Cas' dark hair and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “Ok, but clothes stay on. I know it's too chilly for my parts to be hanging out.”

Cas laughed. “Yeah. We’ve had enough public sex for one day.”

Dean kissed and nibbled along Cas' jaw and neck. “You taste so delicious, Angel.”

Cas tilted his head and moaned. “I like when you do that.”

“Mmm, I like it too.”

Cas gasped softly when Dean nibbled at a sensitive spot. “You keep that up and our clothes won’t be staying on.”

Dean pulled away and concentrated on kissing Cas' lips, licking into his mouth. Cas moaned and rolled them over, then ran his hand over Dean’s back. Dean reluctantly pulled away before he got too aroused. “Oh, Angel. You make me so happy. Happier than I've ever felt.”

Cas smiled and caressed Dean’s cheek, then ran his fingers over his lips. “I can definitely say the same about you.” Cas looked into Dean’s eyes and sighed happily, then glanced down at the ring on his finger and his smile wavered. “I don’t want to tell my brothers....not yet.”

Dean followed Cas' eyes, looking at the ring, and sighed. He sat up and pulled Cas up into his arms. “I know. I know you're not ashamed of me or anything like that. It's Mike, isn't it? You're afraid he'll try and split us up. Give all sorts of reasons, like we're too young and haven't thought this through, right?”

Cas snuggled into Dean’s arms and nodded. “I don’t want him to tell me that I can’t see you anymore or to ship me off to a boarding school or something.” Cas chewed on his lip. “That’s why I haven’t moved my stuff yet. He’s ok with me staying with you, but I didn’t ask if I could move in with you.”

Dean tried to smooth Cas' hair and kissed the top of his head. He ached to tell Cas about getting guardianship transferred to Gabe, but until it was done, he didn't dare. He was worried Mike would change his mind as well. “It's ok, Cas. We can wait to tell them.”

“What’ll we do if he tries to break us up?”

“We'll take it to court. That, or there's the car crusher at Bobby's.” Dean smirked.

Cas shook his head. “I know we don’t want a rushed wedding, but I’ll be 18 soon. If he pulls something we could go to the JP.”

Dean hesitated before he answered. “We could. I really want to give you the wedding of your dreams, followed by a long honeymoon.”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s jaw. “And we could do that later. I’m just saying it’s an option if Mike gives us problems. The JP would just be for legal reasons.” Cas snuggled closer to Dean. “I just...I know how my mind works. I wouldn’t survive if he separated us. I don’t care if he gave an order. I’d disobey if you were willing to meet me at the JP with Bobby and Jody as witnesses.”

“I promise, Angel. He tries to do anything to keep us apart and we'll do the quickie wedding thing. We'll even go to Vegas if we have to.”

Cas laughed. “Vegas? You just want to be married by Elvis, huh? If Mike gets involved and won’t let me contact you, I’ll call Bobby to quit so you’ll know. Then, I’d show up there as soon as I could since he doesn’t know where Bobby’s is.”

Dean looked out at the lake, fingers twirling a lock of Cas' hair. “That sounds like a good plan. We'll let Bobby know, in case I'm not there yet.... Wait, call to quit? Does that mean you're taking the job?”

Cas nodded a little. “I am. I told Sam he can be my assistant.”

Dean laughed. “Leave it to Sam to make an end run around Bobby. If he puts up a fight, you can always tell him that you'll help Sam with his homework at the same time. Not that he really needs the help, but it would make Bobby feel better.”

Cas smirked. “I told him that maybe I’ll need help because of my voice giving out.” Cas said as he placed a hand on Dean’s dick.

Dean raised an eyebrow and looked down. “Angel?”

Cas laughed. “I was insinuating that I’d be choking on, or at least swallowing you a lot.”

Dean's cock twitched and began to fill. He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. “The things you say!” Cas threw back his head in laughter, making his whole body shake and his hand move on Dean’s cock. Dean moaned and started to reach for Cas' hand. “Cas! Oh, God, you're gonna be the death of me. I'm gonna die from cumming so much. Fuck! It's so worth it, Angel.” His hips thrust up against Cas' hand.

Cas pulled his hand away when he realized what was going on. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get you excited.”

Dean whimpered at the loss of contact. “Remember the first time we came here, Angel? Remember what we did in Baby?” Dean winked at Cas.

Cas smiled and put his hand back in Dean’s lap, giving his cock a little squeeze. “Yeah. I remember.”

Dean gasped. “Let's clean this up and then recreate some history.” He reached over and squeezed Cas' cock through his pants.

Cas gasped as his hips bucked into Dean’s hand. “The same way? Or just sex in the backseat?”

“What do you want, my love, my future husband?”

Cas nibbled at Dean’s ear. “I’m still stretched and lubed from the plug. You'll be able to sink right in and fuck me hard.”

Dean shivered in anticipation. “Oh, Angel. Let's hurry. I need to be inside you.”

Cas ran his tongue up the shell of Dean’s ear. “You can bend me in half and hold me down as you fuck me so hard your balls slam against my ass.”

Dean bit his lip hard. “If you don't get your sexy ass in the car now, you'll have to wait until tonight. 'Cuz I'm gonna blow my load if you keep doing that with your tongue.”

Cas ran his tongue back down to Dean’s earlobe and tugged it with his teeth before getting up. “Did I discover another way to turn you on easily?” Cas asked as he backed toward Baby, while unbuttoning his shirt.

Dean took a breath and grinned at Cas. He stood, gathered their trash and the blanket and followed his fiancé. “Let me put the blanket down on the seat, Angel. That leather is gonna be freezing on your back.”

Cas pulled his shirt off and tossed it in the front seat, then started pushed his pants and boxers off. “And then it’ll stick to me once you’ve gotten me hot and sweaty.” Cas stroked himself as he kicked his pants off. “Honeybee, by the end of the school year, I want to be able to draw a map with my tongue to every spot on your body that gets you hard.”

Dean stripped quickly and stroked his cock as he watched Cas. “Beautiful. Just thinking about your tongue on me gets me hard. Lay back, I wanna make sure you're still slick enough.”

Cas laid back on the bench and pulled his knees to his shoulders. “The plug isn’t small. I used plenty of lube.”

Dean made a lustful sound low in his throat at the sight of Cas holding himself ready for him. He ran his fingers over Cas' hole and watch it quiver. Dean slid two fingers in and crooked them, making Cas writhe and moan. “So perfect.” He removed his fingers and wiped the lube they collected onto his cock. “You ready for me, Angel?”

Cas nodded. “Always and forever.”

Dean blinked happy tears from his eyes as he sunk into his love. “Forever. Always. Love you, Castiel.” He slid in and out slowly at first as he adjusted to the tight heat around his cock. Then, Dean pressed a kiss to Cas' lips and began to thrust hard.

Cas moaned and tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair. Dean tilted his head into the touch. He fucked harder and faster, awed by the look of bliss on Cas' face. Cas swallowed hard as his head fell back against the seat. “Fuck.” He groaned.

“Angel?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Yeah?”

“I'm getting close. Want you to cum with me.”

Cas nodded. “Hold me down. See how far I’ll bend.”

Dean nodded. He adjusted his angle as he pressed his hands into the backs of Cas' thighs. “How's that? You're so beautiful. Wish we had more room.”

Cas gasped when the new angle made Dean hit his prostate. He hooked his finger in his ring and pulled Dean down by it. Cas pushed his tongue through Dean’s lips then cried out into his mouth as his cum painted their chests. Dean gasped as he felt Cas tighten around his cock. He thrust twice more and came with a growl. Cas devoured Dean’s mouth, as his body shook with the aftershocks.

Dean continued to slowly thrust as his cock softened, until he slipped out. He lowered Cas' legs and rubbed the stretched muscles. “You're even more bendy than that, aren't you, Angel?” Dean leaned down and licked the cum from Cas' chest, occasionally flicking his tongue over the head of his cock, snickering when Cas would twitch.

Cas moaned softly and nodded. “I’m reeeeeeaaaally bendy.”

Dean bit his lip as his a multitude of sinful images flooded his brain. “That is definitely something you'll have to show me, Angel.”

Cas grabbed one leg and pulled it up, hooking it behind his head. “That’s just a taste of what I can do.”

Dean's eyes went wide. 'Fuck, that is so hot.'

Cas smirked. “I can do both legs at the same time.”

Dean grinned. “You're giving me so many ideas. Damn.”

Cas put his leg back down. “Good. I think we’ll have fun with it.”

Dean looked at his watch and sighed. “It's a good thing Bobby loves me. We are so late. Probably should head back and make Bobby and Sammy uncomfortable. I'm sure they figured out what we were doing.”

“Uh, yeah, about that... We need to be more careful. Sam was in the office when we went at it in the garage…”

Dean laughed loudly. “Is that why he couldn't look me in the eye?”

“Probably. I apologized and got a bitch face. He said he had to put in his headphones and blare music.”

Dean continued to laugh as he grabbed their clothes and started getting dressed. “Oh, now we definitely have to go back! Sam, by the way, has about fifty different bitch faces. The list keeps growing.”

Cas laughed as he got dressed. “Really? This one looked like this.” Cas mimicked the tight face Sam had given him.

Dean looked at the attempt. “Yeah, I think that was #15 or possibly #27.”

Cas laughed again. “I can’t believe you number them.”

“I get bored. I torment him in different ways to see the different reactions. I've thought about photographing them and making him a book.  _ The Many Bitchfaces of Sammy _ .”

Cas shook his head. “For some reason, I don’t think he’d appreciate it.”

Dean laughed. “Oh, he'd hate it. That's what makes it the perfect gift for him. It's a big brother's job to tease. You ready to head back?”

Cas smiled. “Yeah. This lunch was amazing, Dean. Thank you.”

Dean kissed Cas. “Best lunch ever.” He helped Cas out of the backseat and into the front. “I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I'll be separated from you most of the day.”

Cas sighed. “Yeah. I know. We can meet at the lockers between classes though.”

Dean shrugged as he drove. “Yeah, I guess. It won't be enough though.”

Cas snuggled closer to Dean. “No, but Christmas break will be here soon.”

Dean smiled. “Yeah, two whole weeks off. Then, the new semester will start. We still have lunch together, right?”

Cas nodded. “Yup.”

“Good. I almost wish I was a big nerd like you so I could take some of those AP classes with you... almost.” Dean winked and laughed.

Cas groaned. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t in them, but I didn’t have a choice.”

“Mike made you? If Mike couldn't stop you, would you drop some of those classes?”

“My parents made me ages ago. Mike just made sure I stayed in them. But...sometimes it’s just too much...especially after everything that’s happened.” Cas chewed on his bottom lip. “I’d maybe drop one or two. They aren’t important anyhow.”

“Not important?”

Cas shrugged. “I don’t think studying bees requires AP English Lit, AP Calculus, or AP Government.”

“I love your big brain, but I hate that you have to study so hard.”

“Yeah. College should be a breeze after all these AP classes.” Dean nodded. He didn't want to talk about college right then. Cas glanced at Dean. “You ok?”

Dean parked Baby in the lot. “We're here. Let me just..” He reached for Cas' hair and messed it up a little more, giving it a definitive "just fucked" look. “Perfect.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s arm before he could get out of the car. “What is it? What did I say wrong?”

Dean sighed and closed the door. “I.. it's just... college. I'm going to KU. You're probably going off to some big Ivy League school. We're talking about getting married this summer. How are we gonna handle college? Even if I skipped college, I can't abandon Sammy.” He rubbed his face. “I'm sorry. We were having such a good day and then my brain latches onto something and won't let go. I tried to shove it away. I don't want to hold you back, Angel.”

Cas smiled softly and caressed Dean’s cheek. “I’m a Jayhawk, Dean.”

Dean stared at Cas in shock, then pulled him into a tight hug. “Really, Angel?”

Cas chuckled. “Bees don’t care about Ivy League degrees.”

Dean laughed. “That's true, I guess.” He kissed Cas gently, then got out of the car. “Let's go, Angel. Work to be done.”

Cas got out and took Dean’s hand in his. “How long have you been worrying about that?”

Dean looked down and said, shyly. “Since we went to the lake for the first time.”

Cas lifted Dean’s chin. “You could have asked me at anytime. If there’s anything else that’s worrying you, I want you to ask.”

“I know. I do. I just have trouble sometimes.” Dean softly kissed Cas.

Cas gently took Dean’s face in his hands. “Just so we’re clear. I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not for college, not for a job, never. My place is with you.”

Dean swallowed and nodded. “You're sure? I can't expect you to give up on your dreams because I'm being stubborn.”

Cas smiled. “I’m sure, Dean. I can’t move somewhere without you and I’m not going to force you to move somewhere knowing you’ll be miserable.”

Dean kissed Cas again. “How did I get so lucky?”

“Hmmm. You fell behind on your classes and were smart enough to come to me for help.”

“But the lucky part was you loving me.”

Cas smiled. “Oh, that was easy. I’d be an idiot to pass up an ass like that.”

Dean feigned shock. “You mean you only love me for my ass? Well, it is a great ass. Firm, tight, still fucking sore. Let's go in and torment our family.”

Cas smirked. “You’re ass caught my attention, then I got to know you.” Cas kissed Dean softly. “I’ll let you torment them.”

Dean grabbed Sam's salad and they got out of the car. “So, how long have you planned on studying bees?” He asked as he walked them toward the office.

“When I was three, I thought I was a bee.”

“Really? What made you think you were a bee?”

Cas shrugged. “Some kids think they’re cats or dogs. I thought I was a bee.” He glanced at Dean. “How long have you known you wanted to work on cars?”

“Hmm, seems like always. But if I remember right, I was 4, Sammy had just been born and everyone was giving him all the attention, so John took me out with him to work on Baby. I think he wanted me to still feel special with the new baby around. After that, any time I got feeling something other than happy, he took me out and we worked on the car. Cars bring me back to happy. Cars and you.”

Cas smiled softly. “That was nice of him. Dean? Are you still willing to teach me how to work on cars?”

“Anytime, Angel... or should I call you Little Bee?”

Cas rolled his eyes and lightly smacked Dean’s ass. “I like Angel.”

“Buzz buzz little bee!” Dean laughed as he ran off. Cas shook his head and took off after Dean. Dean ran into the office and around the desk. He grabbed Sam to use as a human shield. “Protect me Sam! The little bee is gonna sting me!”

Cas smirk. “Oh, I’ll sting you all right.” He dodged Sam enough to smack Dean’s ass.

Sam rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to be in the middle of this!”

Dean tossed Sam his salad and ran from the office into the garage with Cas hot on his heels. “Can't catch me, little bee!”

Bobby stepped into the garage. “What in the hell are you two idjits doing? Someone's gonna get hurt and I'll have to find a new mechanic or new office help! Doesn't anyone think of me?”

Cas stopped and chewed on his lip as he looked down. “Sorry.”

“Just, take it to the side yard. I'm not gonna stop your fun, Cas.”

Cas nodded and glanced at Dean.

“Thanks, old man! Come on, Angel. Let's keep from giving Bobby a heart attack.” Dean grinned, grabbed Cas by the arm and tugged him from the garage.

“Shouldn’t we be working?”

“Nah, the only car in right now is Rufus'. And Bobby loves torturing him.”

“Oh. Ok. So what are you studying in college?”

“I'm thinking mechanical engineering. I dunno.”

Cas stopped, making Dean stop short. “Mechanical engineering? Wow. That’s not an easy major, but it’d be a great one for you.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I know. The mechanics I got, but the engineering... fuck, I don't know. Maybe I'll find a sexy tutor to help me.”

Cas thought for a moment. “I could make that my minor. That way we’d be taking the classes together. I think you should go for it.”

Dean kissed Cas. “I just know you'll be designing little mechanical bees or something.”

Cas laughed a little. “Possibly.”

Dean smiled softly and sighed. “I guess we should get back to work for a little while.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. Probably. Do you think they need me in the office or do you think I can stay in the garage?”

Dean thought as they walked back in. “Let Sam geek out in there for today. I can start teaching you to fix cars today.”

Cas smiled and lit up. “Really?”

“Of course. How can you be expected to help customers if you don't learn about engines?”

Cas shrugged. “I thought I was just office help and you took care of that part.”

Dean smiled. “Even if you never pick up a wrench, it doesn't hurt to have the knowledge, right? Anyway, it lets me be close to you and that sexy ass of yours.”

Cas leaned against Dean and kissed his cheek. “I’d like to be able to help you out here sometimes.”

“I'd like that. Ok, hand me that wrench.” Dean started explaining what he was doing to Rufus' car and how to do each step.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean are enjoying being engaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

Cas paid close attention to everything Dean said. He watched in awe and fascination as Dean explained what different parts were and how they worked. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to fix my car, but my parents always felt it was beneath us. They said that’s what mechanics are for.”

Dean looked at Cas from across the engine, shook his head and laughed. “That attitude kills me. There are so many people out there that think because they have money or some prestigious job, everyone else is beneath them. But, then they go and trust their lives to these "lowly" people, like mechanics and the people who make their food. I'm glad you're not like that, Cas.”

Cas smiled softly then chewed on his lip. “They wouldn’t have approved of me being with you. They wanted me to be with someone successful, since I wasn’t going to be a lawyer or doctor, like they wanted. They would have liked hearing that you’re going to major in mechanical engineering, but when they found out you’d be putting that knowledge into repairing engines and not into designing them, they wouldn’t have approved.”

“Yeah, I won't keep you in the style you've become accustomed to, but I'll make you happy, keep a roof over your head and your belly full. Who knows, I might design too, but I like getting my hands dirty.”

Cas shook his head. “I don’t need someone to take care of me financially. I have trust funds and inheritance. I’m worth a lot of money, which is something Balth  _ did _ like about me.” Cas leaned across the engine and took Dean’s face in his hands, running his thumb over his lower lip. “ _ We _ have money. I just need someone to love me and make me happy, which you do.”

Dean blushed. “You make me happy too.” He kissed the pad of Cas' thumb. “Hmm, maybe I'll take some art classes too.”

Cas smiled. “That sounds like fun. Do you have a full ride?”

“Yeah.” He stood up straight and stretched his back. It was starting to ache again. “For Baseball. I really hope this summer didn't mess that up. Another beating like he gave me last time, I won't be able to play anymore.”

Cas moved around the car and got behind Dean. He gently ran his hands over his back, then started pressing his thumbs into the knots he felt. “What’s going to happen if he walks in and I’m there?”

Dean moaned as Cas worked the tension loose. “That feels really good, Angel.” Dean leaned back and turned his head to kiss Cas over his shoulder. “I plan on changing the locks, no more poop-key, and if he breaks in, we'll call the cops. Jody's already offered to get a protective order against him.”

Cas nodded as he worked on a tough knot in Dean’s muscles. “Good. I don’t want us to have to worry about him.”

Dean looked at the Mustang they'd been working on, satisfied with the day's progress. “Let's get cleaned up. We've got to wait on an intake manifold, so we can't do much else on her today.”

Cas gently kissed Dean’s neck. “Ok.”

After washing up, Dean poked his head into the office. “Hey, guys, we're gonna head out. Sammy, make sure you eat dessert. Too many vegetables can't be good for you.”

“Whatever, Jerk.”

“Night, bitch.”

Cas shook his head and tugged on Dean’s arm. “We need a shower.”

Dean nodded. “Maybe continue that massage?”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Of course. You’ll be jelly before I’m done.”

“Go, before you start humping each other for the umpteenth time today.” Bobby laughed and shooed them out.

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him to Baby. “I want to get you in a hot shower and really work on those knots.”

Dean grinned. “Yes, please.”

Cas slipped into the car. “If you weren’t still sore, I’d fuck you nice and slow while I did.”

Dean's eyes fluttered slightly at the thought. “We can still try, can't we, Angel?”

Cas glanced over at Dean. “Do you think you’ll be ok enough for it to not hurt?”

Dean took his hand and squeezed as he drove them home. “Maybe use some more of that magic salve of yours, fuck me nice and slow, I think I'll be fine.”

Cas nodded as he glanced down at their hands and smiled. “Castiel Winchester or Dean Novak, or something like Winchester-Novak?”

Dean thought about it. “What do you think? I'd be proud to have you take my name. Castiel Winchester does have a nice ring to it. But if you want me to take your name, I'd be just as proud. As long as you're with me.”

Cas smiled and squeezed Dean’s hand. “Castiel James Winchester.”

Dean moaned. “That's definitely a turn on, Angel.”

Cas smirked and leaned closer to Dean’s ear. ‘Castiel James Winchester.’ He purred seductively.

Dean pushed harder on the accelerator in a rush to get home. “Say it again.”

Cas ran his tongue up the shell of Dean’s ear. ‘Castiel James Winchester.’

'Castiel James Winchester'

Cas nodded and kissed Dean’s temple. “Mmmhmmm. I take it you like the sound of that.”

“I love it, Angel. But, how does Dean Robert Novak sound to you?”

“Beautiful, but not as good as Castiel James Winchester.”

“Yeah, I have to agree. It is so sexy to think of you taking my name.” Dean pulled into the driveway and parked. “You ready for a shower, massage and sweet, slow sex, Mr. Winchester?”

Cas moaned and rested his forehead on Dean’s shoulder. “I wish that was already true.”

“Me too, Angel, me too. But, we'll get there. I promise.”

Cas nodded and kissed Dean softly then slid out of the car. “Did you need the salve first or were you just anticipating that you’ll need it?”

Dean got out of the car too. “Have it handy, just in case. I know that you'll take good care of me.”

Cas glanced over at Dean. “Are you sore right now? Inside, I mean.”

Dean assessed his pain as he unlocked the door and walked inside. “No, my cheeks are still a little tender though.”

Cas laughed. “Probably because I can’t keep my hands off of them. I don’t plan on doing anything that could hurt them. I was more concerned that being inside you would hurt you.”

Dean winked and stripped his shirt off. “I like that you can't keep your hands off my cheeks. Let's me know my ass belongs to you, and you alone.”

Cas licked his lips as he watched Dean undress. “My body belongs to you.”

Dean kept his eyes locked on Cas' as he reached down to tug slowly on his cock. “You coming, Angel?” He turned and bent to pick up his clothing, wiggling his still pink ass at Cas. Then Dean straightened and sauntered toward the shower. Cas quickly pulled his clothes off and hurried to follow Dean.

Dean had just finished adjusting the shower temperature when he felt Cas behind him, laying light kisses down his spine. Cas continued his trail down Dean’s spine as he shifted to his knees. He peppered kisses over Dean’s sore ass then gently parted his cheeks and ran his tongue over his hole.

“Fuck. Oh, I love your tongue.” He pushed back slightly, trying to get that tongue deeper. Cas pushed his tongue deeper into Dean and wiggled it. Dean's knees started to shake and he pulled away, stepping into the shower. He turned and pulled Cas up and into the spray with him. “Don't want to cum too soon.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Just means I’d have to make you cum again.”

Dean whimpered softly. He grabbed a cloth and soap and began washing Cas from head to toe, making sure to thoroughly clean his cock and balls. Cas moaned as he cupped Dean’s cheek and ran his thumb over his lips. Dean leaned into the touch. “Cas. I love you so much.”

Cas smiled. “I love you too, Dean.”

Dean quickly washed himself before turning off the water and stepping out to grab towels. Cas took his towel from Dean and dried himself off. “Ready for the double massage?”

Dean nodded, not trusting his voice. He was sure it would crack with lust. Cas took Dean’s hand in his and pulled him over to the bed. “Get on your stomach.” He said as he pulled lube from the drawer.

Dean crawled onto the bed. He curled his arms around a pillow and laid his head on it. Cas grabbed bottles of lotion and lube and got on the bed. He coated his fingers with lube and gently pushed one into Dean. Dean moaned and pushed back onto Cas' finger.

Cas thrust his finger into Dean, then added a second. He kissed and nipped at Dean’s ass as he slowly opened him up.

“Yeah... yeah... open me up.” Dean bit his lip and whimpered as Cas grazed his prostate.

Cas pushed a third finger into Dean and hooked his fingers to hit his prostate. “You ready for me?”

Dean panted. “Always... always ready for you.”

Cas pulled his fingers from Dean and lubed up his cock before slowly sinking into Dean’s tight heat. Cas bit his lip and moaned. “Fuck. I’ll never get used to that.”

Dean let out a shaky breath. “Me either. I can't get enough of you inside me.”

Cas shifted so he was on his knees, but completely filled Dean. He put some lotion on his hands and started working on Dean’s back. “I love that you didn’t want this until you met me. I love knowing I’m your first.”

“You fit me so perfectly. I can't imagine doing this with anyone but you. Only you.”

Cas held still inside of Dean as he worked hard on a knot in his back. “I can honestly say it wasn’t like this before you. Everything since meeting you has been amazing.”

Dean moaned louder as Cas worked the knot. He clenched around Cas' cock. Cas gasped and worked on the knot as he slowly pulled out and pushed back into Dean a few times, then held still. “I know what you’re trying to do. It’s not going to work.”

Dean whined. “Angel... God, you feel so good.”

Cas continued to work on Dean’s back as he slowly started thrusting into him. “I told you I was going to take you nice and slow.”

Dean tried to control his arousal and just relax into the feel of Cas' hands on his back. Cas found another knot and worked it hard as he slowly pumped in and out of Dean. Dean sighed and started to hum. There was no real tune, just soft, contented sounds. He relaxed more and more as Cas continued.

Cas kissed the back of Dean’s neck as he worked harder on the knot. He shifted his hips just enough that he’d brush Dean’s prostate on every stroke, making Dean whimper. Cas kissed and nipped at Dean’s neck as he found more knots and worked hard on them. He kept his slow pace, shifting to hit Dean’s spot softly from time to time. “Tell me, Dean, how does this feel?”

Dean took a moment to respond. Not because he had to think of his answer, but because Cas had reduced Dean's world to the hands massaging his back and the slow thrusts of the cock in his ass. “Amazing.”

Cas ran his hands over Dean’s back as his hips continued to move. “Did I get them all?”

Dean nodded and reached back with one hand to touch Cas in some way. Cas guided Dean’s hand to his body as his hips stopped with his cock pressed against Dean’s prostate. He ran his hand up Dean’s spine, stopping where the bat had hit him. “He hit you right here?”

Dean nodded. 'Yeah.'

Cas felt the area a little more, then positioned his hands. “Deep breath in...and breathe out.” Cas waited for Dean to breathe out and adjusted his back. He gently massaged the area as he started pumping in and out of him again. “That should help.”

“Oh! Oohhhh.” Dean barely pushed back into Cas, enough to make himself feel like he was an active participant. A lone tear trickled down Dean's cheek. 'Thank you, Angel.'

Cas kissed between Dean’s shoulder blades and he moved his hips a little harder. “If it still hurts, we’ll get you to a chiropractor for major adjustments. I only know how to do some minor ones.”

'They said I should see one, but it cost too much.' Dean grasped at Cas' body, trying to find his hand. 'Please.' Dean didn’t know what he was asking for. He just knew he needed  _ something _ from his fiancé.

Cas brought his hand to Dean’s and let him grab it as he kissed between his shoulders again. “Nothing’s too expensive for you now. We’ll get you one and make sure your back gets better.” Cas grasped Dean’s hip with his free hand and thrust hard against his spot, holding still with his dick against it. “What do you need?”

Dean shook his head and pushed back. “I dunno... you, I need you... please Cas, Angel…”

Cas shifted so he and Dean were on their sides, spooned together. He grabbed Dean’s leg and made it hook behind him, then wrapped his arms tightly around his lover as he thrust into him. “I love you so fucking much, Dean.”

Dean moaned softly. “Yeah, oh, m-me t-too, ah, Love you, Cas.” He trailed his fingers over the arms holding him tight. Dean tugged a hand up to kiss Cas' fingers.

Cas moved the other hand down Dean’s body and stroked him as he thrust a little harder into him. “Is this what you needed?” Dean nodded, sucking two fingers into his mouth. Cas moaned and stroked Dean harder as he thrust against his spot. “I’m glad I can give you what you need.”

Dean thrust forward into Cas' hand and back onto his cock, sucking hard on his fingers. He didn't try to speed up, only increase the power. Cas sucked on Dean’s neck. He was happy to know that he’d been able to pull Dean back from such a dark memory. Cas stroked Dean harder, rubbing his frenulum as he thrust against his spot.

Cas licked his way to a new spot on Dean’s neck and sucked on it as he thrust slightly faster against his spot. He focused on Dean’s frenulum and the head of his cock, toying with his slit.

“Oh, God, please, please, more…”

Cas gently bit down on the spot he’d been sucking on as he thrust harder against his prostate. He brought the hand Dean had been sucking on down and rubbed his fingers over his taint as his other hand continued to focus on the head of his cock.

Dean chanted Cas' name like a prayer. He was being pushed closer to the edge, but felt no rush to topple over. Dean basked in his fiancé's attentions.

Cas thrust harder into Dean as his hands continued to rub Dean’s taint and stroke him. Cas ran his tongue up the shell of his ear. “Pinch and play with your nipples.”

Dean's eyes rolled back and his mouth fell open in a silent gasp as he plucked at one nipple and pinched and twisted the other. “Cas... please, Angel.”

Cas thrust harder against Dean’s spot as his hands worked harder. He gently bit Dean’s earlobe. “Cum.”

Dean stiffened at the command, his entire body tight, and he came with a shout. Cas moaned as Dean tightened around him. He thrust into him two more times, then cried out as he filled Dean with spurt after spurt of his cum. He rested his forehead on Dean’s shoulder and kissed his shoulder blade.

Dean breathed heavily as he came down from the high of his climax. “Angel... that was... wow…”

Cas shifted his arms to wrap them around Dean. “You ok?”

“Want to kiss you.”

Cas carefully pulled out of Dean and shifted him so they were facing each other. “Then kiss me.”

Dean kissed Cas slowly, deeply, pouring all his love into the action. When he pulled back, his eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “You are so perfect. When you found the spot where John... where the bat hit, I felt myself start to spiral and you grounded me. You gave me what I needed when I didn't even know. Thank you, Angel. I love you so much, Castiel.”

Cas kissed Dean’s eyes, then peppered kisses over his face. “I could tell you were. I knew it was risky to bring it up, but I wanted you as relaxed as possible when I did the adjustment.” Cas smiled as he gently wiped away Dean’s tears. “You’ve needed me to hold you before and you weren’t sure how to ask. I just assumed that’s what was going on. I’ll always be here for you, Honeybee.”

“Thank you. I'll always be here for you when you need me, too, Angel.” Dean's stomach rumbled and he laughed. He looked down. “No one asked you.”

Cas laughed and slowly got off the bed, stretching once he was standing. “Let’s get some food in you.”

Dean pouted, but got up and stretched as well. “My back does feel better.”

Cas smiled. “Good. We’ll find a chiropractor to see if any other adjustments need to be made. Did they say anything about physical therapy?”

“Yeah, Sam looked up exercises for me to do. Stretches and stuff to strengthen the muscles.”

Cas walked to the kitchen with Dean and started working on food. “Has it been helping or do you think you should schedule some appointments?”

“It's been ok, so far, but after New Year's, baseball practices will start. I'm a little worried about that.”

Cas glanced at Dean. “Would you like to set up appointments with a physical therapist?”

Dean thought about it. He was about to say no because of the cost, but that wasn't what Cas had asked. “I guess I could go for a consultation. See how many sessions I might need, find out the cost, all that.”

Cas shook his head. “Don’t worry about the cost. We’ll find someone that specializes is sports medicine for both physical therapy and chiropractic and you’ll see both of them, and anyone they suggest you see for as long as you need to.” Cas sat a plate of spaghetti down in front of Dean and sat with his own and took a bite.

Dean glanced at the plate and smiled. He twirled some of the spaghetti onto his fork and took a bite. “This is good, Cas. I keep trying to make my own sauce, but it rarely turns out well.” Dean took another bite. “It'll be nice to not have to depend on Medicaid for my insurance. It's great for basic doctor visits, but there's a limited number of specialists that accept it and they're usually crap. I definitely want to get Sammy some real coverage too.”

“Dean, I’ll help with anything Sam needs, too. If you want to become his guardian after we graduate, then I’ll help with that and I’ll get my brothers to help with it. After we’re married you’ll be on my insurance and if we’re his guardians then he’ll be on it, too.”

“That's awesome.”

Cas ate a bite of his spaghetti. “Dean, do you still owe medical bills from what happened?”

Dean thought as he ate. “I'm not sure. I know a couple of bills came in at Bobby's when I was still in the brace, but he wouldn't let me see them.”

Cas nodded. “Ok. I’ll ask him when we’re over there.”

Dean laughed. “Don't be surprised if he fights you on it. He's a stubborn old coot.”

“And I come from a family of lawyers.”

Dean laughed again. “I don't know who to feel sorry for.”

Cas smirked and grabbed Dean’s phone from where it fell on the floor in his rush to get undressed. He dialed Bobby’s number on speakerphone, and waited for the other man to answer.

“Dean? What’s wrong?”

“Hey, Bobby. It’s Castiel. Dean tells me you’d know if he still has outstanding bills from what happened over the summer.”

“Don't you worry about that, son.”

“I’d like to see them and help him pay them off.”

“Cas, I said I can take care of it. I set up payments. Anyway, I feel responsible. I never should have let him stay at the house, knowing what day it was.”

“Bobby, I don’t want that burden on you. Why should you have to feel guilty that it happened and spend your hard earned money on bills that  _ you didn’t cause _ . I want to help pay for the injury that brought us together. Anyhow, you probably told him not to come over here and he blew you off.”

Dean hung his head. “Bobby, just agree to let him look at the bills. It can't hurt to show him. Anyway, he has a point, I was determined to be in the house. I can still feel her here, especially on that day. I think that's why John keeps coming back on that day, too. He wants to remember and forget at the same time. Just... just show him.”

“Son, I don’t want this to be a burden on either of you.”

Cas gently placed his hand on Dean’s leg and caressed it. “It won’t be a burden, Bobby. I have more money than I know what to do with. What good is having money, if I can’t use it to help my family and my future husband?”

“I... you're not gonna let this go, are ya?”

“No, I am not.”

“Balls! Fine. I'll let you look. I can't promise more than that.”

“Sure you can. I’m going to pay them off or I’ll make you figure out your new computer and use it yourself.”

Dean laughed. “Bye Bobby!” He ended the call. “You are evil, my Angel.”

Cas smirked. “I was going to say I’d work without pay, but I know he’d just put my pay with yours and make you put it in your account. So, I went with what I know scares him the most, that computer.”

They laughed and talked through the rest of their dinner. Dean washed the dishes as Cas put the leftovers away. Then, they cuddled on the couch, watching tv until Cas started to drift off.

“Angel, let's go to bed. The alarm's gonna go off early in the morning.”

Cas yawned and nodded. “Guess we can’t skip and snuggle all day.”

“You're supposed to be the responsible one, Angel. We got finals coming up. We'll have plenty of snuggle days over Christmas break.”

Cas sighed. “I know.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has another run in with Raph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

Cas smiled as he headed toward the cafeteria. He couldn’t wait to spend the entire lunch period with Dean. He rounded the corner, not paying attention to his surroundings, when he was grabbed and pulled into the bathroom. Cas’ eyes widened and he gulped when Raph slammed him against the wall.

“I thought I told you to stop your shit. You were supposed to leave Winchester alone, not swap class rings. Do they not teach English where you're from?” Raph held Cas to the wall with one arm, while he sunk a punch in Cas' ribs with the other.

Cas squeezed his eyes shut as slumped forward and held his midsection. ‘Help’ he mouthed.

Raph pulled him back up and slammed Cas' head against the wall. “Still not talking? Good!” He held his arm up to Cas' throat and pressed. “You WILL learn your lesson, freak. Leave Winchester alone!”

Cas gasped and clawed at Raph’s arm as tears streamed down his cheeks. ‘Help!’

Raph pulled his arm back, seeing that Cas broke skin when he clawed him and was now bleeding. He backhanded Cas across the face. “You little bitch. How dare you?!”

Cas winced and held his cheek. He took a deep breath. “HELP! HEL-“ Cas was cut off by a hand clasping over his mouth so forcefully, that his head snapped back against the tile hard enough to make him see stars.

“Shut up!” Raph slammed Cas against the wall again, making Cas' eyes roll back briefly.

Just then, the bathroom door opened and Garth and Crowley walked in, arguing about which was better when it came to the teen vampire genre, Twilight or Buffy.

“I'm telling you, mate, the vamps in Buffy are... Raph?! What the bloody hell are you doing!?” Crowley pulled Raph off of Cas and yelled to Garth to go get help, quickly. Cas slumped to the ground, leaving a bloody spot where his head connected with the wall.

Garth’s eyes widened and he ran from the bathroom, running straight into Charlie. “Go get Dean! Cas is hurt in the bathroom!” Garth took off for the office.

Charlie ran into the cafeteria. “Dean! Cas!”

“What? What's wrong with Cas?” Dean jumped up and followed Charlie as they ran to the bathroom.

Charlie ran as fast as she could. “Dunno. Garth said he’s hurt in the bathroom.” She said as she pointed and stopped to catch her breath.

Dean sprinted past her and into the bathroom. He saw Crowley and Cole holding Raph and Aaron crouched by Cas, holding paper towels to his head. Dean turned back to Raph, fury evident in his eyes. “You bastard! What the fuck, Raphael?” Dean started toward Raph, intent on beating the hell out of him. Crowley let go of one arm to stop Dean. Ash and Garth came in with Principal Shurley close behind.

“DEAN! NO!” Ash and Garth yelled in unison.

Cas whimpered and held his head. Aaron looked over at Dean. “Dean, he needs  _ you _ more than he needs you to go after that asshole.”

Dean turned back to Cas. “Fuck, Angel? What did he do to you?” He crouched down and gathered Cas into his arms. “God, you're bleeding.”

Aaron held the paper towel to Cas’ head, making him wince. “Best I can guess, is he cracked his head on the wall.” He said as he pointed to where it had clearly happened.

Cas whimpered. “Dean…”

“Mr. Novak, Mr. Milton? Someone care to tell me what is going on here?” Principal Shurley asked.

“I can tell you what I walked in on, Principal Shurley. Raphael had Castiel slammed up against the wall. Cas was being choked and was bleeding from the head. I pulled Raph off him and held him back while Garth went to get you.”

Raph pulled against Cole's hold on him. “I was defending myself. Look at my arm. He clawed at me for no reason!”

Aaron looked at Principal Shurley. “I was in a stall when they came in. All I heard was Cas struggling while Raphael was saying stuff about him being a freak and that he’d told him to stay away from Winchester. I heard him hit Cas and heard Cas’ head hit the wall a few times. I got out here as fast as I could.” Aaron turned and looked at Dean. “Sorry I couldn’t get out sooner.”

“It's ok, Aaron. I understand. At least you were here to help stop the bleeding.”

Aaron nodded. “He yelled for help. I thought he was mute.”

Jody walked in the door. “Ok, what do we ha- Dean? What the hell happened?”

“Jody, thank God you're here. Raphael is the one who attacked Cas over the summer, attacked him and Sam a few weeks ago and now he's attacked him again. This time, on school grounds. Cas needs to go to the hospital and that bastard needs locked up!” Cas whimpered and covered his ears.

“You’re positive it was him the first time?”

Dean smoothed his hand down Cas' back. 'Angel? Can you talk to Jody?'

_ “Hurts.” _

“What hurts, Angel?”

_ “Head. Tell her yes.” _

“He said yes, he's positive, Jody. Can I take him to the hospital now?” Dean tried to soothe away as much of Cas' pain as he could.

Jody directed the other officer to haul Raphael off. “I’ve got to call for a bus.”

Cas winced.  _ “Why’s Balth here?” _

“Balth? He's not…” Dean looked around the room and chuckled. “Angel, that's not Balth, that's Crowley. Balth is still back in Pontiac.” He looked at Cas, his head tilting into Dean's chest. “Jody, I can get him to the hospital faster in Baby. Aaron, help me get him up.”

Charlie peeked around Jody. “It’ll take too long for you to get him out to Baby without jostling him too much. I can go get her and park her at the door. I promise, I won’t scratch her.” 

Aaron looked at Dean. “She’s right. You’ll have to move slowly with him and we all know where you park.”

Dean thought about it and when Cas groaned, his decision was made. He fished his keys from his pocket and tossed them to Charlie. “Hurry, and not a scratch.” Charlie caught the keys and took off toward Baby.

“OK, hold him while I stand.” Dean shifted Cas' weight to Aaron and stood. Then he bent over and picked him up, bridal-style. “Just hang on to me, Angel.” Cas whimpered and let his head roll to Dean’s shoulder.

“Ok. I’ll be out there to escort you.”

Sam walked down the hallway and his eyes widened. “Jody? What’s going on?”

“Cas was attacked, Dean's going to take him to the hospital. Why don't you ride with him, to help with Cas, so Dean can drive.”

Sam watched as Dean walked out of the bathroom with Cas and his eyes widened. “Dean! Oh my god. Is he ok?”

“He's gonna be fine, right, Cas? Come on, Sammy. Help me get him to Baby.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Just make sure we got a path and open the doors for us.”

“Ok. I can do that.” Sam proceeded to make sure people got out of the way as they walked down the hall. His eyes widened when he saw Baby pull up in front of the door. “You let someone drive Baby?”

“Emergency circumstances.”

Sam continued to make people get out of the way and watched as Charlie got out of Baby. “You let  _ Bradbury _ drive Baby?” Sam asked as he opened the door for them.

Dean just glared at Sam and continued to slowly carry Cas outside. When they got into the sunshine, Cas cringed and groaned. “Sorry it's so bright. It'll be better inside Baby, just hang on.” Sam quickly pulled off his flannel and used it to shield Cas’ eyes.

Charlie ran around the car. “Front or back?”

“Let's put him in the back. Let him stretch out. Sammy, in the back with Cas to keep an eye on him.”

Charlie nodded and opened the back door.    
Sam slid in the back and helped Dean lay Cas on the bench. Cas groaned and whimpered.

“I know, Angel. I'll hurry.” Dean closed the door, hopped into the driver's seat, threw her into gear and sped off. Jody was waiting at the parking lot exit, blocking traffic with her squad car. Dean tore around her, leading the way through the streets of Lawrence to the hospital.

“Damnit, Winchester, police escort does not mean go as fast as you can and hope the police can keep up!”

Cas winced and held his side. Sam lifted Cas’ shirt and sighed. “Did you know he got punched in the ribs?”

“Fuck. No, I didn't. Keep him comfortable, we're almost there.”

Bobby heard the sirens blaring from down the street and pulled over to stay out of the way. Baby flew past, then the sheriff's car went blaring by. “Dean? Jody? Oh, balls, what has that idjit done now?” He followed the two vehicles down the street.

“Was he choked? His neck's starting to bruise.”

Dean pulled up to the emergency entrance, threw her in park and rushed inside. “I need help outside. My fiancé was attacked. He's bleeding from his head, bruises showing up on his neck and ribs.” A trauma team followed Dean outside with a gurney.

Sam carefully moved some hair that was stuck to Cas’ cheek and looked up at Dean when he opened the door. “His cheek is split open, too.”

The trauma team carefully lifted Cas and laid him on the gurney. They took him inside. Dean went to follow and the registrar stopped him. “Sir, your friend is in good hands, but I'm going to need you to move your car, please. Then come see me, so I can get some information from you.” Dean just nodded, staring in the direction Cas was taken.

“Dean, you need to park Baby, unless you want me to do it.” Sam offered. Dean finally snapped out of his daze, got in and parked the car in the lot.

Sam glanced at Dean. “He’s going to be ok.”

“Yeah. Yeah, Sammy, I know.” 

They walked in and found the registrar. “Can you answer some questions about the patient?” Dean nodded. “Name?”

“Castiel James Novak.”

“Age?”

“Seventeen.”

“We'll need to speak to Mr. Novak's parent or guardian. Do you have that information?”

“Uh, yeah, I'll call Mike. When can I see him?”

“They're taking good care of Mr. Novak. Once we speak to his parent or guardian and they say it's ok, someone will take you back.” Dean nodded and called Mike.

Sam rolled his eyes at the registrar. “Of course it’ll be ok for him to go back there. Cas is my future brother-in-law.”

“Dean? Shouldn’t you be in school?”

“Mike, Cas was attacked by Raph again. He's in the hospital. You need to come.”

“Shit! Ok. I’ll be right there. How bad is it?”

“Um, I'm not sure. He's bleeding from the back of his head, a cut on his cheek, bruising on his neck and ribs. They won't let me go back, Mike. Hurry.”

Jody came through the doors with Bobby on her heels.   
“Damnit Dean, next time, slow down and FOLLOW the escort. How is he?”

“Is it Carol? If it’s Carol tell her Attorney Michael Novak is his guardian and grants permission for you to go back. She knows me.”

Sam looked at Jody. “They won’t let him go back.”

Dean looked at the registrar's nametag and sighed in relief. “Carol? Attorney Michael Novak is Castiel's guardian, I have him on the phone. He says I have permission to go back and see him.”

“Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?” She turned and said something to someone then buzzed the door. “Come on back.”

“Thanks Mike. Hurry.” Dean ended the call and rushed back to see Cas. He was shown to the room Cas was in and he stood back to watch them work. He crossed his arms over his chest and chewed on his thumbnail.

Cas groaned and whimpered. “Dean…”

“I'm right here, Cas. How are you doing, Angel?”

Cas whimpered. “Hurts.”

One of the nurses looked back at Dean. “So you’re who he keeps asking for.”

Dean nodded. “Can you give him something for the pain?”

Cas whimpered.

“We just got the IV in. He’ll be getting something through that in just a second.”

Dean watched the nurse scan the medication to Cas' chart, then inject it into his IV. “How is he?”

“Definite signs of a concussion. We have to get him to X-ray, but I’d say the throat and ribs are just bruised and his cheek and the back of his head just need stitches.”

Dean nodded, yet again. “Can I... can I hold his hand?”

“Of course.”

Dean stepped into the room and sat on the chair beside the bed. Gently, he slid his hand into Cas' and gave it a small squeeze. “Hey, Angel. Feeling any better yet?”

Cas held Dean’s hand. “A little.”

“Boyfriends?”

Dean smiled. “Fiancés, actually. We plan on getting married this summer.”

The nurse smiled at Dean and pointed at the class ring on Cas’ hand. “I’ll let you take that off him, so it doesn’t go in the bag with his belongings.”

Dean slid the ring off Cas' finger. “Can I hold on to the ring on the chain around his neck? It was his mother's and it would kill him if he lost it.”

The nurse nodded. “Of course. If you want to grab his phone, keys, and wallet you can do that, too. I’ve seen bags get lost in the shuffle. It’s not so bad if you just lose the clothes you wore in.”

“Thanks. Hey, Cas.”

“Honeybee... I feel floaty and I think my head is full of bees. Bzzz bzzz.”

Dean smiled and reached around his neck to remove the chain. "That would be your pain meds, Angel. I'm gonna take your rings, necklace, phone, keys and wallet, so they don't get lost, OK?”

Cas hummed. “Ok.” The nurse shook her head.

Dean sat there, holding Cas' hand for longer than he knows. Everything had been a whirlwind since the start of their lunch period. After a while, Dean heard Mike in the hallway.

“I'll be right back, Angel.” Dean let go of his hand and kissed him on the forehead.

“Mm'kay”

Mike glanced over at Dean when he stepped out of the room. He finished up his conversation with the doctor, then walked over to him. “How’s he doing?”

“He, uh, he's gonna need stitches on the back of his head and his cheek. He's got signs of concussion, they still need to take him to x-ray to check his skull, neck and ribs, but they're pretty sure nothing's broken. They gave him something for pain that made him kinda loopy.” Dean felt the tears start to fall as he explained Cas' injuries to Mike. “I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to protect him and in less than two days, he's in the hospital.”

Mike sighed and pulled Dean into a hug. “Hey. You couldn’t have kept this from happening and less than two days since what?”

“Shit. Uh, he didn't want to tell you yet. He's afraid you'll order him to leave me, that you'll send him to boarding school. But, umm... we kinda got engaged. I'm still saving up for a real ring, but we exchanged our class rings. We're planning on this summer.” Dean sniffled. “Please, Mike, don't take him away from me. He's my whole world.”

“Remember when I said if you needed help with anything to just let me know?” Dean sniffled and nodded. “I was subtly hinting at a ring. It was obvious you were both thinking about it. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon, though.”

“You won't order him away?” Mike shook his head. “Thank God. Please, don't tell him I told you. He still has that fear of you ordering him to do stuff and getting stuck in that headspace. I'll think about the ring. I'd like to get my Grandpa Henry's ring, but I don't know if I can.” Dean took a deep, cleansing breath. “Want to go in and see him?”

“Of course I do.” Mike shook his head. “A boarding school? You two really thought I’d send my baby brother, who's been self harming for almost two years, to a boarding school? Don’t look at me like that. He thinks we don’t know, but we do. We’ve also noticed that it hasn’t been happening as much lately.” Mike looked toward Cas’ door. “Even if you got your grandfather's ring, you’d still need an engagement ring, right?”

“Hey, the boarding school was his fear. I was just afraid you'd order him to move back to your house and never see me again. Yes, I'd love to give my Angel a beautiful engagement ring.”

Mike scrubbed his face with his hand. “No wonder you’ve got Gabe taking over guardianship.” He clasped Dean on the shoulder. “Figure out what you want. I don’t care if it’s from a showcase or you want something custom. I’ve put you both through some shit. The least I can do is shell out some money so you can give him the perfect ring. Now come on. Let’s go see my loopy brother.”

They slipped in the room. “Angel? Hey? I'm back. I brought Mike with me.”

Cas grinned. “Deeeeeeeeeeeean.”

Mike shook his head. “They must have given him morphine. It has this effect on him.”

“Is he allergic?”

“Nah. It just makes him loopy.”

“You’re loopy.”

“How are you feeling, Angel?” He sat down again and grabbed Cas' hand.

“Like a little bee.” Mike shook his head.

“You just rest, little bee. I'll be right here.”

“In bed with me?”

Dean smiled and brushed the hair back from Cas' forehead. “No, not in the bed, but I'll be right here beside it. I'll cuddle you when we get home. How does that sound?”

Cas sighed softly. “Sounds good. Dean? Did they arrest him?”

“Yeah, Angel. Jody made sure of it.” Dean looked to Mike. “Was Sheriff Mills still in the lobby when you got here? And a tall, gangly teen with floppy hair and a crusty old coot?”

“Yeah.”

“Dean? Am I pressing charges?” Cas asked.

“The state is pressing charges. Mr. Milton turned 18 two weeks ago and he has now assaulted a minor on school property. Dean? When he can, I'll need Cas to give a statement. We already have Mr. Bass' witness statement, along with statements from the other students that walked in on the attack.” Jody said from the doorway.

“....He touched me.”

Mike looked at Jody then his head whipped around to Cas. “He what?”

“Who touched you, Angel? Where did he touch you?”

“Raph. That first time. He kissed me and put his hand in my pants, then said I was disgusting and could never take his spot on the team. He touched me again at the library.”

Mike took deep, calming breaths to control his anger.

Jody started taking down Cas' statement. “You said he put his hand in your pants. Was he touching your bottom or your penis?”

Cas glanced toward Jody. “That first time? Both. He played with my dick a little, then he started hitting me. Then he pushed two fingers into me and said he should fuck me like the disgusting fag I am. But he beat me up and took my voice so I couldn’t tell anyone.”

Jody nodded and continued to write. “Did you ask Raphael to stop? Did you tell him no?”

Mike wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulder as they both sat and listened to Cas admit to being sexually assaulted.

Cas looked at Jody like she was stupid. “When he didn’t have his hand over my mouth.”

“So, you were not, at any time, involved in voluntary sexual relations with Raphael Milton?”

Cas gave Jody a bitch face that could beat Sam’s. “No. I’d only been here for two weeks. He offered to help me learn about the team.”

Jody looked at Dean and Mike and mouthed 'I'm sorry.' “Now, at the library, where did Raphael touch you?”

“Not  _ the _ library. The school library. The day I freaked out and Dean had to take me home. He grabbed my ass and stroked me through my pants.”

“How long ago was this?”

Cas blinked a few times. “Uh, last week... Monday? Tuesday?”

“Sheriff, I want Raphael Milton charged with the sexual assault of a minor. You said he turned 18 two weeks ago and this latest sexual assault was committed one week ago.” Mike said through clenched teeth.

Dean sniffled as he wiped his eyes. “Oh, Angel, why didn't you tell me?”

Cas glanced at Dean, then looked down. “Because then you wouldn’t want to touch me anymore.”

Dean brushed his fingers along the side of Cas' face. “Cas, I'll NEVER stop wanting to touch you. What he did to you can't ever change my feelings for you. You're my Angel, my little bee, my Castiel.”

Cas sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “You forgot sunshine.”

“But you don't like me to call you Sunshine. You only like me to sing it to you.”

Dean started to softly sing  _ You Are My Sunshine _ to Cas. He was only vaguely aware of Mike and Jody leaving the room to give them privacy.

Cas sniffled and wiped at his eyes some more. “I want to go home.”

“Angel, you still need your x-rays. Thankfully, your stitches got done already. Once the doc says you can go, I'll get you home and take care of you until you're all better.” Dean kissed the hand he was holding.

Cas sniffled as a few tears fell. “But you won’t hold me here.”

Dean pushed the call button for the nurse. When she came in, he asked “Can I climb in the bed with Cas? He's been through a lot and he just wants me to hold him.”

The nurse sighed. “Just be careful of his injuries.” Cas wiped at his eyes.

Dean lowered the side rail on the bed and crawled in on Cas' uninjured side. He wrapped his arms around Cas and carefully let Cas lay his head on Dean's chest. “Is that better, my Angel?”

Cas nodded slightly. “Yeah.”

A little while later, the radiology techs came in with their portable machine. Dean stepped into the hall as they took the x-rays. When they left, Dean climbed back in the bed. Then, they just had to wait for the doctor to read the films and give them the results. Cas snuggled back against Dean with a sigh.

Finally the doctor came in with Mike to give them Cas' results. “Castiel has a minor concussion and lacerations to the anterior of his scalp and his right cheek, both of which have been suctured. There is minor bruising to the throat and left side ribs. The x-rays showed no fractures in either the ribs, neck or skull. He will need supervision for the next 48-hours, so, as long as that can be provided, I'll prepare a prescription for Vicodin and he can return home. If he starts to vomit uncontrollably, starts to run a fever, or shows any signs of seizure activity, bring him back immediately.”

Mike glanced at Dean and nodded. “That can be provided.”

“Ok, I'll go get his release paperwork started.”

“Thank you.” 

Cas glanced at Dean. “Told you it was a minor one.”

“Yes, Angel, you were right. You still had to get stitches though.”

Cas shrugged a little. “I’m used to soccer balls and other people’s heads, not tile walls.” Mike shook his head.

The nurse came in with a dose of Vicodin and Cas' discharge papers. “Ok, handsome, let's wheel you outta here. One of you can bring the car around.”

As much as Dean didn’t want to leave Cas, he wanted to drive him home. “I'll meet you at the door, Angel. Then we'll go home.”

Cas smiled softly as he grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled the class ring off and put it back on his finger. “Ok, Honeybee.”

The ride home was uneventful and by the time Dean got Cas inside the house and settled on the bed, Mike had arrived with Cas' prescription and a late lunch. “Gabe has a few more things to take care of then he will be over. Why don't you two eat something and rest. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

“Ok.” Cas watched Mike walk away, then looked at Dean. “It’s weird having him here.”

“Yeah, I know. He loves you, though, and he's worried.” Dean pulled Cas closer. “You know what's even weirder? He hugged me.”

“....He what?”

“In the hospital. I was telling him all of your injuries and he just... hugged me. I mean, I needed it. I was so scared for you. But I didn't expect Mike to do that.”

“I... Sometimes he can be a good big brother. I mean, he’s always been a bossy jerk, but sometimes he shows a softer side. Plus he’s a Dom. He’s supposed to be able to read what a sub needs. Maybe he just read that you needed comfort.” Cas said, then shrugged.

“Yeah, maybe. Not gonna be his sub though. I like the way we are. It's equal. I take care of you, you take care of me. So much easier.”

Cas gently played with Dean’s hair. “Not saying he sees you as one. He just knew you needed comfort and gave you it. I like how we are, too. I like that we can change roles and be either dominant or submissive when we want to.”

Dean nodded and leaned into the touch. “How's your head? Want me to close the curtains or anything?”

“I don’t want you to move. It’s sore. It’ll be sore for a while.”

“I can text Mike. Have him come and wait on us? Oh, I just remembered…” Dean took Cas' chain from his neck and put it on Cas. “I didn't want your mom's ring to get lost. I know it means a lot to you.”

Cas smiled softly. “Thank you.”

Dean kissed Cas softly on the temple. “Anytime, Angel.”

Cas played with Dean’s hair. “I was so scared he’d take my voice away again.”

“I was scared Raph would take  _ you _ away.”

Cas sighed. “Oh, Honeybee. I fought back. I yelled for help.”

“I know you did, Angel. You did so good.” 

There was a knock at the door and they heard Mike got up to answer it. Gabe entered in his usual, boisterous fashion. “Hiya Mikey, how's tricks? Where's Cassie and Dean-o?”

“Bedroom. Cas has a concussion, so keep it down.”

Cas groaned. “I love him to death, but he’s going to give me a headache.”

“Cover up, I'm coming in. Damn, you're both dressed.” Gabe shrugged. “Eh, maybe next time.”

Cas rolled his eyes and winced. “Yes, because we should be having wild vigorous sex while I have a concussion.”

“Lower the volume, Gabe. Is that?”

Gabe nodded and fully entered the bedroom, followed by Mike. “We got you something, Cassie.” Gabe held out the paperwork for Cas to see.

Cas looked at the paperwork and furrowed his brow. “What is that?”

Gabe took the papers back. “Right, blurry vision with the concussion. These, my dear baby brother, are official Transfer of Guardianship papers. Mikey has agreed to transfer 100% guardianship of one Castiel James Novak to yours truly. Whaddaya think of that?”

Cas looked from his brothers to Dean, then back to his brothers. “What? This must be a worse concussion than I thought. It sounded like you said you’re going to be my guardian now.”

“Cas, don't you know what this means? It means that once these are signed, I cannot give you orders. I've made many mistakes with you since mother and father died. I hope this helps to rectify some of that. The only person you should take orders from is yourself, Cas.”

Cas thought about this for a moment. “Yeah, cause I’m not taking orders from him. He’d make me eat weird things or do things for his own amusement.” He looked at Dean. “The last living thing Gabe had to care for didn’t make it. Fluffy the fish never stood a chance.”

Dean looked at Cas, then Gabe and finally Mike. “I can't tell if that's the concussion or if Gabe really had a fish named Fluffy.”

Mike sighed. “He did.”

Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. “He gave him Kool Aid in his bowl.” Cas sighed as he played with Dean’s hair. “Are you sure you want to wait until summer time to get married? I know you won’t drown me in Kool Aid.”

Gabe sputtered. “MARRIED!? You two are engaged? And you didn't bother to tell your poppa?” Gabe wiped a mock tear from his eye “They grow up so fast.” He looked at Mike, who was calm, but smiling fondly at the couple. “Did you know about this?”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and held it over his ear as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. “Owwwwwww.”

Mike shrugged. “I found out at the hospital.”

'Guys, keep it down. Can you just sign the papers and get out?' Cas whimpered as tears fell from his eyes.

Mike grabbed Gabe by the collar and dragged him from the room. “I told you he has a concussion.”

“Ow ow ow ow.”

In the kitchen, Mike and Gabe signed the papers. Mike took the pain meds to the bedroom and quietly handed them to Dean and showed him the signed paperwork.  _ "He should take another pill in an hour. I'll file the papers with the courts in the morning and bring back a copy for Cas. I've threatened Gabe with castration if he goes above a whisper within 100 feet of the house for the next 48-hours. He'll be here overnight if you need him and I'll be back at lunchtime. Text me if need anything." _

Cas whimpered as his head continued to pound. His tears slowly soaked Dean’s chest.

_ "Thank you."  _ Dean ran his hand through Cas' hair, careful to avoid the stitches and lump on the back of his head. His other hand rubbed small circles on Cas' back. 'Angel, how can I help you?'

Cas whimpered. ‘Kill Gabe.’

Dean smiled. 'I'll get on that when you feel well enough to relax your grip.'

‘Won’t stop pounding.’

Dean grabbed his phone, made sure it was on vibrate and texted Gabe.  _ Bring Cas an ice pack from the freezer. Make a sound and I will kill you. _

Gabe’s phone went off in the other room. “Shit. Fuck.” Gabe quickly grabbed his phone and silenced it. He went in the kitchen and dug around for the ice pack. Cas covered his ear to muffle the noise. Gabe hurried up the stairs and walked into the room with the ice pack, then handed it to Dean.

_ "Thank you. Do you know what else I could do to help with the pain? He can't take a pill yet." _

Gabe shrugged. ‘Not have me here?’

Dean shook his head.  _ "Not getting out of this that easy." _

Gabe reached for Cas' shoes, untied and removed them. Then he began massaging his feet. ‘Just being honest. Our parents always made me leave when he got one. I always make them worse.’

_ "It's because you're naturally loud. Try signing more. Top dresser drawer. 2 pair of pjs and 2 tshirts." _

Gabe went over to the dresser and shook his head at all the bee pjs. He pulled out a pair of those and a pair he was sure were Dean’s then grabbed two shirts and went back to the bed.

_ "Help me get him changed, then hold him while I go change." _

Gabe rolled his eyes.  _ “Scared I might maul you if I see you change?” _

_ "All this... not for you." _

Gabe rolled his eyes dramatically.  _ “Like I’d go after jail bait. Please.” _

_ "Just help." _ 'Angel, we're gonna get you in some pjs and then Gabe will hold you so I can go change. Ok?'

Cas whimpered. ‘Can’t we be in boxers?’ Gabe shook his head.

'Want to leave the shirts off?'

‘Don’t want any clothes.’ Gabe smacked his forehead.

'Angel, I'm not having Gabe see me naked. If you really want, you can be naked, but I'm wearing pjs.' Cas whimpered and buried his face in Dean’s neck.

'I'm sorry, Cassie. Want me to get out so you two can strip?'

Cas sighed sadly. ‘Doesn’t matter.’

_ "I swear on Castiel's life, I will only come in when called. I won't peek." _

'Get out, Gabe. You can sleep in any other room. We'll call if we need you.' Cas sniffled and wiped at his eyes. Gabe hurried out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. Dean stripped out of his clothes quickly, trying to not jostle Cas too much. 'OK, little bee. Let's get these clothes off you.'

Cas looked at Dean with tear filled eyes. ‘I don’t want pajamas.’

'No pajamas.'

Cas sniffled. ‘Even for you?’

'That's right, little bee. No pajamas for me either.'

Cas wiped at his eyes. ‘Ok.’

Dean helped Cas sit up and remove his shirt. 'Let's lay you down.' Dean removed Cas' jeans, boxers and socks. Then, he grabbed the light quilt his mom had made and spread it out over Cas and crawled in beside him.

Cas snuggled close. ‘Could have left boxers on. I wasn’t trying to get you completely naked.’

'I know, but I realized that I need to be as close to you as I can get. Well, without sex. I was just being shy because of Gabe.' Dean looked at the clock and grabbed the pills. 'Take one of these, Angel. It's close enough to time.'

Cas took the pill and winced. ‘You shower in the locker rooms all the time. You can’t be that shy.’

'But the guys in the locker room aren't actively checking me out. I don't trust Gabe.'

Cas pulled back a little and looked at Dean. ‘He doesn’t actively check you out.’

'Maybe not actively, but covertly?' Dean tugged Cas back to snuggle on his chest.

Cas sighed. ‘He doesn’t want you, Dean. He says shit to rile me up. Would he smack your ass and make some sort of comment? Yes, because he knows you’d tell me and I’d go after him and he thinks that’s funny.’

Dean smiled and massaged the back of Cas' neck. 'So, can I start calling you Sunshine? You wanted me to in the hospital.'

‘Don’t change the subject. Do you still think he wants to check you out?’

'No, I guess not.... Sunshine.'

Cas rolled his eyes a little. ‘How long did we sit in Mike’s kitchen in just boxers and he never did anything? I mean he said something about you having a tight ass because I wouldn’t stop staring at it, but he wasn’t checking you out.’

Dean kissed the top of Cas' head. 'OK, I give. Gabe doesn't check me out. I have no reason to be modest in front of him. Now, you need to rest. I've got you.'

Cas smiled softly. ‘And I never said don’t call me Sunshine. I said I liked Angel, more.’

‘Well, you are my Angel and my Little Bee and my Sunshine and my Castiel. I love you.'

Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s chest. ‘I love you, too.’

Dean ran his hands along Cas' spine. 'Is it getting better, Angel?'

Cas sighed softly. ‘Yeah.’

'Good. Get some sleep.'

Cas nodded. ‘You, too.’


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets to try out the remote control plug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

Cas sat curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him and a warm drink in his hands. He watched as Dean pulled new deadbolts and door knobs from a bag Bobby had brought over. “You know that legally you can’t lock him out if it’s his house, right?”

Dean removed the old hardware from the door. “That's the beauty, Angel. It's my house.”

Cas stared at Dean for a moment. “You actually own the house? How?”

“Ok, so, technically, Bobby owns the house. It's being held in trust for me until I'm 18 and can legally own it. About a year after the accident, John was out playing poker at the Roadhouse. The guys playing weren't the usual crowd and they went real high stakes. John thought he had some monster hand, I guess, and he bet the deed to the house and lost. Luckily, it was to Ellen's late husband. They always looked out for us. Ellen said we could live here as long as we want. When Bill died, Ellen sold him the house for cheap, as long as it became mine at 18.”

Cas’ eyes widened and he glanced around the room. “Wow. So, we’re going to live here forever?”

“Unless you wanted to move... but, there's still bits and pieces of mom here…” Dean said nervously.

“No!” Cas winced and held his head. “No. I thought your dad owned the house. I thought we were probably going to have to move this summer, since you would have graduated from high school. I like this house. We have some great memories here.”

Dean finished tightening the last screw in the doorknob and stood. “Yeah, we do.” Dean winked at Cas. He opened and closed the door a few times, making sure everything was tight. He tested the deadbolt, making sure it was aligned. “There. What do you think? Want me to put a chain lock on too? They pretty much only stop the girl scouts though. An average strength person can usually bust through those.”

Cas shook his head. “I think that’s enough.” He chewed on his lip and winced. “I think I got confused because we sleep in your childhood room. I guess I just assumed that meant the master still belonged to him.”

Dean cleaned up his mess and put the new keys in his pocket to swap out on their keyrings later. He sat on the couch and let Cas curl himself into his arms. “I haven't moved rooms yet because, until very recently, when John would come here, drunk, of course, it was easier to let him have that room. There would be less yelling, 'fewer fists'.” Dean shook the memory from his head and cleared his throat. “I would like for us to move in there, but we definitely need a new bed. Mom picked out that bed. I am not making love to you on the same bed that my parents had sex on. Eww.”

Cas nodded. “Do you want all new furniture or just a new mattress?”

“Later, when we go back upstairs, we can detour to the master and take a look. It will be your bed too. You get to help make the decisions, Angel.”

“Ok. That’s the only room I haven’t been in. But I guess what I’m really asking is, are you ok with using furniture that was your mom’s? I don’t want us to use it if it’ll upset you.”

“Mom and Dad picked out pretty much all the furniture, except a few things, like the weird little table next to the recliner that I made in woodshop at school.”

Cas smiled. “I wondered if you’d made that. It’s cute.” Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “If we like the furniture, then we’ll try using it. It’s different when it’s furniture that your parents chose for  _ them _ . I just don’t want you to be upset.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. I know what you mean. We'll have to see how it goes.”

Cas snuggled closer. “I still can’t believe this is really our house.” He sighed. “Dean? I’m sorry I never told you.”

Dean looked at Cas, confused for a moment. “I understand, Angel. Sexual assaults are rarely reported, especially by men. I get it, the victim blames themselves, thinking they should have done something to stop it; they're afraid of what people will say when it comes out; they're afraid of being called a liar or that they were "asking for it”." He laced their fingers together and lifted their hands to his lips. Dean pressed soft kisses to the back of Cas' hand. “Just, don't be ashamed of things that happened TO you. Know that you do not and will never have to hide from me.”

Cas sniffled and nodded. “He said you wouldn’t want me anymore if you knew how disgusting I was.”

Dean cuddled Cas closer. “Oh, Angel, no. That's a common lie that predators tell. It gave him power over you. But now that you've spoken up about Raph assaulting you and he's been charged, we can take that power back.” Dean kissed Cas softly. “You are NOT disgusting.” Another soft kiss. “I will always want you.” He kissed harder. “We will be old and in a nursing home and I'll still want to be with you in every way we are physically able.”

Cas wiped his eyes and tucked his head against Dean’s neck. He fisted his hand in Dean’s shirt. “Don’t ever let me go.”

“Never. The world better hope we die together because people will freak to see me lugging you around "Weekend at Bernie's" style.” He attempted humor to lighten Cas' mood.

Cas furrowed his brow. “Weekend at Bernie’s style?”

Dean shook his head and laughed “Oh, Sunshine, we have seriously got to get your pop culture IQ up!”

Cas frowned slightly. “You’ve already said that.”

Dean tapped Cas lightly on the nose. “Yeah. I have. And, actually, if you got all my references, it would take away some of your charm. Plus, I wouldn't have the pleasure of watching your eyes light up when we watch a movie or show and you suddenly get the reference. It's sheer beauty.”

Cas shook his head. “Sam was right. You do watch me while I watch TV.”

Dean blushed. “You're too beautiful not to watch.”

“I’m not that beautiful.”

“You are to me. In the words of the Duchess, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Well, I behold beauty.”

Cas blushed and hid his face. “Shut up.”

Dean tickled Cas lightly. “You shut up.”

Cas gasped and tried to get Dean’s hand away. “Don’t...I can’t laugh right now…”

“I'm sorry, Little Bee. I just can't keep my hands off you. So sexy.”

“No, that was you wanting to tickle me.” Cas deadpanned. “You can touch all you want, but laughing will make me puke.”

“I'm so sorry, little bee. I didn't think.” Dean caressed Cas' tummy. “I love touching you and I get carried away.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “I wish you could  _ really _ touch me right now.”

Dean shivered at the touch of Cas' lips on his neck. “Me too, Angel. If I didn't think it would kill your head, I'd suck that gorgeous dick of yours and make you cum down my throat.”

Cas gasped and pressed the heal of his hand against his dick as he whined. “Deeeean…”

“Cas... Angel…” Dean grabbed his own dick through his jeans. “I'm in the same boat.”

Cas whimpered. “That doesn’t make this any better.”

Dean bit his lower lip and tried to slow his breathing. “I know.” He let go of his dick and laid his head back. “I'm stopping. I want to get off so bad, Angel, but it's not fair to you if I get off and you can't without your head splitting open.”

Cas swallowed hard. “Go take care of it.”

“No, Angel. Not without you. It wouldn't be the same without you. I can wait.”

“Please, Dean? You can make it up to me later.”

“I'd ask you to help, Angel, but that'd probably be too frustrating for you, huh?”

Cas chuckled. “Breathing is frustrating.” He took a shaky breath. “Get the plug.”

Dean grinned. “Ok... uh, which one?” He wanted to reach down and rub his cock through his jeans, but he wasn't sure what Cas had planned.

“The one you’ve been dying to try out.”

Dean closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them and searched Cas' face. “Really? Thank you, Angel.” Dean kissed Cas softly and got up to get the plug, lube and remote. Cas took a deep breath and palmed at himself as he waited for Dean to return.

Dean came back into the room and set the plug, lube, remote and a towel on the coffee table. His hands shook slightly. Anticipation and nerves combining. “Tell me what to do, Angel. I've never put one in before.”

Cas smiled softly. “I know, Babe. Remember how I opened myself up for you? I want you to try that. I’ll make sure you’re stretched and lubed enough before you try to put it in. But first, come kiss me.”

Dean smiled and straddled Cas' lap. He leaned down and kissed him slowly and deeply. “You gonna be ok with this?”

Cas smiled and ran his fingers over Dean’s lip. “Yeah, but I’ll need to cum after you’re done.”

“Won't that hurt your head, Sunshine?”

Cas shrugged as he ran his fingers up Dean’s jawline and over the shell of his ear. “It might hurt a little. It depends on how hard I cum.”

Dean leaned into the touch. “So, we'll have to ease you into it, huh?” He stood and stripped off his clothes before grabbing the bottle of lube. “Should I lay back or kneel, Angel?”

Cas looked Dean over and licked his lips. “Try both ways. Find out what’s comfortable for you.”

Dean tried laying on his back on the couch first, but it felt awkward because of the armrest. He then got on his knees on the floor, facing Cas, and pushed in a finger. “Oh... yeah... that's better.” Dean locked eyes with Cas as he pushed a second finger inside himself.

Cas swallowed hard as he watched. “Fuck. You’re so fucking sexy, Babe.”

Dean added more lube to his fingers and slid two in again, scissoring them apart. His eyelids fluttered and he bit his lip when he added a third. Dean dropped his head to Cas' thigh and rubbed his cheek against the soft hairs. “Oh, God. You look so fucking beautiful. Can't wait until you're better, so I can suck that beautiful cock.”

Cas ran his thumb over Dean’s lips. “You can do that today if you don’t try to suck my brains out.” Cas slipped his thumb into Dean’s mouth. “Push them in deeper. Try to get as deep as I do.”

Dean sucked on Cas' thumb and nibbled on the pad. He pushed his fingers deeper and spread them apart. “Fuck. Let me see your cock, Angel. I.. oohhhhh... I want to see you stroke it.” Dean shuddered and twitched as he brushed against his prostate.

Cas bit his lip as he pushed his boxers down and pulled out his straining cock. “Look at how hard I am, from just watching you finger yourself.” He said as he slowly ran a finger up and down his length.

Dean whined as he pulled his fingers out, added still more lube and pushed them back in.

Cas slowly ran his finger up and down his cock, enjoying how Dean’s eyes tracked the movement. “Honeybee? How stretched are you? Are you ready to put it in?”

Dean pulled his fingers out and turned around. He presented his ass and pressed his fingers back in. “What do you think, Angel? Am I ready?”

Cas groaned and bit his lip. “Fuck, Dean.” He swallowed hard as he ran his hand over Dean’s ass. “I want you to try to do it yourself. I know you’ll need my help, but see if you can get it started. Don’t force it, though. If you feel a little pain just back it out a little and hold it for a moment before trying again.”

Dean grabbed the plug and lubed it, then paused. “Angel? I wanna see your face.... let's go to the bathroom. We can use the mirror. Can you stand long enough for that? Please, Angel?”

Cas pushed three fingers into Dean, hooking them so they’d come in contact with his prostate. “Can you stand and do this at the same time?”

“Oh, fuck! I can lean on the counter. Is that a yes?”

Cas rubbed Dean’s spot. “You don’t think your legs will give out? You have that mirror in the hall. You could bring it in here and prop it against the chair.”

Dean nodded and pushed back on Cas' fingers before he let Cas pull them out. He got up and grabbed the mirror from the wall in the hallway. Dean rearranged the furniture, so the mirror was lined up just right for Dean to see Cas' face. “Ok, I'm ready.” He held the plug at his hole, pushed slowly and pulled back, pushed again and pulled back. “Fuck. This thing is huge.” Dean took a few deep breaths and pushed it in again, deeper than before, and held it steady.

Cas moaned and ran his hand over Dean’s ass, then ran his fingers over his stretched hole. “Let me know if you need me to take over.”

“How much farther do I need to go? I... mmm... it's big.” Dean rocked back on the plug and Cas' fingers.

Cas squirted some lube on the plug and used his fingers to distribute it. “About another inch until you’re at the widest part.”

Dean whined. “You're gonna have to help me, Angel. Maybe I shoulda gone with a smaller one, but they don't have remotes. I wanna feel what you felt when you let me control it in you.”

Cas shifted so he was on his knees beside Dean. He kissed Dean’s spine as he gently moved Dean’s hand out of the way and replaced it with his own. “You can hold my hand if you still want control, or you can use it to help balance yourself. It’s up to you.”

Dean put his hand on the floor and locked eyes with Cas in the mirror. “I trust you.”

Cas smiled softly. “I know, Honeybee. You know I’d never hurt you. Just relax. I’ve got you.” He pulled the plug out some, then slowly started thrusting it into Dean, allowing it to go in deeper the more he stretched.

Dean breathed and relaxed as Cas worked the plug into him. Just when he thought he couldn't stretch any more, he felt the plug pop into place. 'Fuck.'

Cas ran his hand over Dean’s back. “You ok? How does it feel?”

“Full.” Dean panted and clenched and released as he got used to the feeling.

Cas grabbed the base of the plug and gently shifted it inside Dean. “I’d imagine. You’ve never been this full before.”

“Oh! It feels good.” Dean looked down at his cock, hanging heavy between his legs. “I'm probably gonna cum too soon.”

Cas grabbed a pillow from the couch and put it near Dean’s head. “Put your head and chest on that. Try to get comfortable and calm yourself down. I know you want to make this last as long as you can.” He gently ran his hand over Dean’s back. “I can also get a cock ring if you’d like me to.”

Dean sank down on the pillow. The plug hit at a different angle as he shifted and he hissed. “Yeah, get the ring. I won't last without it.”

Cas kissed Dean’s back, then slowly made his way upstairs and back down with the ring. “This one won’t let you cum, so if it gets to be too much you’ll have to tell me.” Cas said and he slipped the ring on Dean’s cock and made sure it was properly situated. He sat back and sucked in a deep breath. “Fuck. I wish you could see yourself like this.”

“Ok. Oh, I want to move.”

Cas picked up his phone and snapped a picture of Dean. He ran his hand up and down the inside of Dean’s thigh. “Go ahead and try. I drove and walked with it in. It’s not going to hurt if you move around, but I wouldn’t suggest sitting. I don’t think you could handle that.”

“Did you just take a picture? Let me see, Sunshine.” Dean pushed himself up and back, so he was kneeling. He gasped as the plug shifted.

Cas grinned and showed Dean the picture. “Look at how fucking hot you look.”

Dean looked at the photo and moaned. “Wow.... that does look hot.” He leaned over and kissed Cas. He grasped Cas' cock and stroked it a few times.

Cas moaned as his hips bucked into Dean’s touch. “You ready to find out what it does?”

Dean bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah.... yeah.... show me.”

“I’m not going to do what you did to me, unless that’s what you’re wanting.” Cas kissed Dean softly. “Get comfortable.”

Dean stood and took a few steps, getting used to the movement, then he sat lightly before laying back on the couch. He stroked his cock, then looked at Cas. “Ok, ready.”

Cas started Dean off with the lowest vibration. He moved from the floor to the chair closest to the couch and watched Dean.

Dean moaned. He stroked his cock with one hand and thrust the other hand in his hair. “Ohhh fuuuckk.”

Cas leaned over and licked the shell of Dean’s ear. “And that's the lowest vibration. What do you think of this?” He asked as he increased the strength and made it pulse.

“Oh my God. Th-that's awesome.”

Cas changed the type of pulse and strength, then smirked when he made it thrust at a level 2.

Dean started writhing on the couch, moaning loudly. He let go of his cock and squeezed his balls. Dean trailed his other hand from his hair, down the side of his face, along his neck, down his chest, to finally stop and roll a nipple between his fingers. “Fuck, Angel. That's it. So good.”

Cas ran his fingers over Dean’s lips. “That’s just a two. Do you want to stay here for a moment or should I change it up again?”

Dean licked at Cas' fingers. “Give.. give me a... a minute.”

Cas ran his thumb over Dean’s lower lip, pulling it to the side. “Ok. Stay here, or bring it down a notch?”

“Stay. Stay.”

Cas kissed along Dean’s jawline and down his neck to the nipple he’d been playing with. He gently closed his lips around the hardened bud and sucked on it before flicking his tongue over it.

Dean threw his head back with a sigh. “Ok. I'm good. You can ramp it up, Sunshine.”

Cas tugged on Dean’s nipple with his teeth as he bumped the thrusting up to a 5.

Dean cried out. “Oh God oh God oh God oh God!”

Cas ran his hand down to Dean’s cock and ran his finger up and down his length. “That’s only half way there, Babe.”

“What? Only half? Fuck... Oh God... And I put it at max for you? No wonder you l-lost it. Fuck!”

Cas made the vibrations stronger and changed the pulse. “Mmmhmmm. Think you can make it to 10?”

Dean shook his head. “No. No way, Angel. Not this time.” Dean breathed hard, moaning and humping the air.

“I don’t know. I could just take you from 5 to 10 and watch you fall completely apart.”

“Oh, God, if you do that, take the ring off my cock. Fuck, Angel.”

“Do you want to try 10? I promise I’ll take it off after you’ve tried it for a little bit. Or would you rather only go to 7 or 8 and work up to the ring coming off?”

“I don't care.. don't care.. trust you, Cas, Angel.”

Cas put one hand on Dean’s chest as he jumped from 5 to 6 to 7 to 8 to 9 and finally ended on 10.

Dean grabbed at the hand on his chest. “FUUUUUCKK! Please please... Oh Gooooood! Oh oh oh oh ... Love you, Cas…” Dean continued to cry out, begging and swearing. “G-gotta cum.. please.”

Cas took in how Dean looked for a moment, then set the remote down and pulled the ring off of Dean. He quickly grabbed Dean’s cock and stroked it hard and fast. Dean thrust up into Cas' fist. He came with a shout, cum shooting up and landing on his chest and neck. Dean kept thrusting into Cas' hand as the plug kept stimulating his prostate.

Cas grabbed the remote and quickly turned it off, then ran his hand over Dean’s abs as he leaned over him and licked the cum from his body. “You with me?”

Dean went limp on the couch. As he attempted to catch his breath, he slid his hand to find Cas' fingers. “Yeeaahhh... Oh Ohhh, Angel... that... that was... my God....”

Cas brought his hand to Dean’s. “So, was it what you thought it would be?”

Dean squeezed Cas' fingers and looked at his face. “Soooo much better. Want to fuck you the next time I wear this.”

Cas smiled. “I think we can arrange that.” Cas kissed Dean softly. “I should go ahead and get it out of you. It’ll feel weird coming out and you’ll feel pretty empty without it, but it’ll pass.”

Dean nodded and laughed. “Ok. Yeah, do it now, while I'm still floaty.”

Cas kissed Dean again and smiled. “Exactly.” He shifted and spread Dean’s legs, then grabbed the base and slowly pulled as he watched Dean’s face for any signs of discomfort.

Dean felt the pull and stretch as Cas worked the plug out. Once the widest part passed the ring of muscle, it slid out quickly. “Oohhhh.” Dean's cock gave a half-interested twitch. When Dean felt Cas gently clean him up, a wave of emptiness crashed through his body. “Cas…” He reached out to touch his fiancé.

Cas quickly moved to Dean’s side and grabbed his hand, bringing it to his cheek. “I know, Honeybee. Is the feeling too much to handle?”

Dean shook his head. “No... no... just kiss me, Angel.”

Cas kissed Dean, licking into his mouth as he ran a hand over his chest. Dean moaned into the kiss and curled his fingers into Cas' hair. “Mmm, Sunshine.” Dean cleared his throat. “Thirsty. Can you get me something, Angel? I don't think I can walk yet.”

Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek as he searched his face. “Yeah. Just let me do something to help before I walk away from you. I can tell the emptiness is getting to you.” Cas picked up a smaller plug he’d brought down with the cock ring and gently slid it into Dean. “Does that feel better?”

“Oh! Yeah, that's better.”

Cas searched Dean’s face again, then kissed him softly. “I’ll be right back with your drink and some chocolate.” He kissed Dean again. “I love you so much.” Cas carefully got up and went into the kitchen. He poured a glass of orange juice and grabbed a chocolate bar, then returned to Dean.

Dean shivered as the sweat cooled on his body. “Mmm, love you too, Angel.”

Cas helped Dean to carefully sit up and wrapped a blanket around him, then handed him the juice. “You did amazing, Dean. I wasn’t sure how long you’d hold out since it was your first time playing with toys. I’m impressed.”

Dean drained half the glass of juice in one go. He looked at Cas carefully. “Angel, you look worried. Are you ok?”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Yeah. I’m just making sure you don’t drop.” Cas held the chocolate to Dean’s lips. “Eat some chocolate.”

Dean bit into the chocolate, moaning as it melted on his tongue. “Mmm, this is the good chocolate.” He winked at Cas as he opened his mouth for another piece.

Cas smiled and put another piece in his mouth. “How are you feeling?”

Dean swallowed the chocolate and took another sip of his juice. “I feel good. Physically worn out, like after the first intense practice of the season, but, I mean, I came like a fire hydrant.” He broke off a piece of chocolate and fed it to Cas. “It was intense, but not overwhelmingly so. And you were right there with me the whole way. When you took it out, yeah, wow, empty. But, you took care of me. I'm glad you thought to bring the smaller plug. That helps too.” He cuddled closer to Cas. “How are you feeling, Angel?”

Cas sighed with relief. “Not as worried, now. The first time I used a larger toy, I had the same problem. I figured you might, too. You can keep that one in as long as you need to. It won’t be hard to take out.”

Dean nodded. “I'm feeling better. I can help you now.” He reached over to stroke Cas' cock through his boxers.

Cas peeled his sticky boxers away from his skin. “We, uh, kinda came at the same time.”

“Wow... you.. just from watching me?” Dean smiled widely and kissed Cas. “That's awesome.” He drank the rest of his juice. “Wish we had one of those big hot tubs that we could just go and soak for awhile.”

“I could make it happen. Not today, obviously, but if you want one, we could get one.” Cas thought for a moment. “Actually, I could probably make it happen today.”

Dean yawned. “Nah, not today. Today I just want to cuddle and watch some tv with you.”

Cas smiled. “More like cuddle and fall asleep. I need clean boxers before I’ll be doing any cuddling.”

Dean grinned. “Boxers would be nice. Could you bring me a pair, little bee? And you love cuddling and falling asleep.”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You don’t want to try to make it up to our bed?”

“As long as you're with me, I'll go wherever you want.”

Cas kissed Dean softly and smiled. “Come on. I think we’ll both be more comfortable in the bed.” Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled. “You can snuggle against me and I can play with your hair while you drift off.”

Dean let himself be pulled to his feet and he draped his arms over Cas' shoulders. “Ok, Angel. Can we still watch some tv too?” He leaned in to whisper in Cas' ear. 'I love when you play with my hair and I love to play with yours too, little bee.'

Cas smiled softly. “I know you do.” He kissed Dean’s jaw. “We can watch tv, as long as it’s not too loud and isn’t just a lot of noise.”

“Oh, Angel, how's your head? You were taking such good care of me, that I forgot that I'm supposed to be taking care of you.”

“It’s a little sore from cumming, but it was totally worth it.”

Dean kissed Cas on the temple. “We don't have to have the TV on if it's gonna hurt your head more. Do you need one of your pain pills or anything?”

Cas smiled. “I’m ok. It’s not that bad.”

Dean looked in his eyes, seeing them slightly unfocused. “You don't have to be strong for me, Angel. It's fine if you don't want one now, but it gets any worse, you take your pill. I don't want you waiting 'til it's really bad. Ok?”

Cas rolled his eyes and winced a little. “I guess I should take one now so you don’t have to get out of bed to get it for me.”

Dean made a quick detour to the bathroom to relieve his bladder and grab the pills. He brought the pills and a glass of water to their bedroom. “Look, I know you want to wait because the pills knock you out and you want to play with my hair. So, I'll set them here, with a glass of water, so you can reach them when you're ready.”

Cas smiled softly. “Thank you, Honeybee.”

Dean climbed onto the bed with Cas and, for once, became the "little spoon." “I love you, Angel.”

Cas pulled Dean closer and played with his hair. “I love you, too.”

Within five minutes, Dean was asleep in Cas' arms. Cas smiled as he played with Dean’s hair. He gently kissed the top of his head and sighed happily.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

Dean woke a few hours later. Cas was groaning in his sleep. He rolled over to pull Cas into his arms. 'Angel, hey? You need your pill?' Dean brushed the hair back from Cas' forehead. Cas whimpered and turned his head away from the touch.

Dean shook Cas lightly. “Angel? Wake up for me, huh?”

Cas slowly opened his eyes and rubbed his head. ‘Dean?’

“Hey, Angel. There you are. Need your pill? I'm sure you didn't take one before you fell asleep.”

Cas glanced around, then buried his face into Dean’s chest as he sniffled. ‘Don’t let him get me again.’

Dean looked around, pulling Cas closer. “Ssshhhhhh, Angel. I'll always protect you. It was just a nightmare. Raph's in jail, Mike filed a restraining order, in case he makes bail.”

Cas sniffled and snuggled closer to Dean. ‘Why did he do that to me?’

Dean kissed the top of Cas' head and ran his fingers through the messy, dark hair. 'I don't know, Angel. I don't know. Why does anyone do what he did?'

‘He got what he wanted. I dropped soccer. He got to keep his position. I didn’t tell anyone. I just...I kept to myself unless you were around. He didn’t have to keep hurting me.’

'He had control over you, except when it came to me. I couldn't resist being with you. I guess I'm partially to blame. You tried to push me away. I won't say I'm sorry, though. You're my whole world, Angel. My Sunshine, my little bee, and one day, my Castiel James Winchester. I'll NEVER let anyone hurt you again.'

Cas shook his head as tears streamed down down his cheeks. ‘Don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault, Dean. I didn’t even know you the first time. It’s my fault.’

“No, Angel. No. It is all on him. Raphael chose to do this. You were new to town, hadn't made any friends yet, it made you an easy target. But, this is NOT your fault! I wish I could have been there to protect you.”

Cas wiped at his eyes. ‘I’m gonna lose my scholarship, Dean. I’m going to lose my scholarship because of him.’ Cas broke down crying into Dean’s chest.

Dean held Cas as he cried. Dean held Cas as his sadness turned to anger. Dean held Cas until his emotions wore him out. “Why would you lose your scholarship? The season hasn't even started yet. I'm sure the coach would still love to have you on the team.” Dean shook his head. “There's definitely an opening on the team. Raph violated the student athlete code of conduct. I'll be at every practice and every match. He won't get a chance to get near you, Angel.”

“I’m n-not registered. It’s t-too late.”

“Leave it to me, Angel. I'm sure that under the circumstances, they'll let you on the team. I mean, coach wanted you last spring, before you even officially moved here, right?”

Cas nodded. “W-wanted me to be C-captain.”

“Raph was supposed to be captain. You were going to take his spot. That had to have been what set him off. It's not your fault. Coach chooses the captain. Raph should have dealt with coach about it.”

Cas whimpered. ‘Dean. Head hurts.’

Dean grabbed Cas' pills and handed him one, then handed him the glass of water. Cas took his pill and snuggled back down into Dean's arms. 'You relax, little bee. We'll figure this out later. Want me to order some food? We can eat up here in bed when it comes.'

‘Don’t want you to leave me.’

'But, what if I have to pee, Sunshine?'

Cas snuggled closer. ‘I dunno.’

'You could come to the door with me when food gets here.'

‘Maybe.’

'Maybe, huh?' Dean shifted to hold Cas closer and the small plug pressed into his prostate. He sucked in a sharp breath and his dick twitched.

Cas lifted his head and looked at Dean. ‘You ok?’ Dean nodded, not trusting that his voice wouldn't crack, but his eyes were wide and slightly glassy. Cas gave Dean a worried look. “What’s wrong?”

Dean cleared his throat. “The umm.. the plug... we forgot to take it out…” He shifted again and started to pant. “It keeps hitting my prostate.” 'Fuck'

“We didn’t forget. You fell asleep. Do you want to take it out or enjoy it?”

“I know we came together before, but I didn't get to see you cum. Do you think you can handle cumming again?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “How do you want me to cum?”

“With me inside you. I don't care if you ride my cock or if I'm on top or even on all fours, if  _ you _ want. I just need to be in you the next time I cum and I need you to cum with me.

Cas bit his lip. “Ride you.”

Dean moaned and pulled Cas in for a kiss. “That sounds perfect, Angel. You want me to stretch you or do you want to do it?”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “You.”

Dean reached into the drawer for the lube. He spread some on his fingers and reached around to Cas' hole. Dean rubbed along the rim, barely dipping his fingertip inside, then went back to massaging the rim.

Cas moaned softly and ran his tongue along the shell of Dean’s ear. ‘Make me forget about him touching me, please.’

Dean nodded as he pushed his index finger in deep. 'No one else will ever touch you, not if I have anything to say about it.' Cas moaned and let his forehead drop onto Dean’s shoulder. “No one will ever touch you like I have.”

Dean thrust his finger in and out of Cas' hole, feeling it tighten and relax. He pulled his hand away, added more lube to his fingers and added a second when he pressed back in. Dean scissored and curled his fingers at random, stretching and teasing. “If I knew he had touched you, Angel, I would have knocked him on his ass.”

Cas gasped and moaned as he shook his head. “Would have killed him. Can’t have you in prison. You’re too pretty.”

Dean chuckled “You're right. Told you that you were the brainy one. How's that feel, Sunshine? Need me to open you up more?”

Cas moaned and pushed back against Dean’s fingers. “Feels so good.”

Dean wiggled his ring finger up to join the first two. “Irresistible.”

Cas gasped and licked at Dean’s neck as he rocked back on his fingers. ‘Fuck.’

Dean shifted again. He bent his knees and planted his feet flat on the bed. He slipped his fingers from Cas' hole, added more lube and spread it on his hard cock. “Ride me, Cas-Angel. Need you on my cock.”

Cas sat up and slowly sank down onto Dean’s cock until he was completely filled. He moaned and leaned back against Dean’s legs as he wiggled on his cock.

“Oh, yeah... just like that, Angel.” Dean gave Cas a moment to adjust before thrusting up lightly. He grabbed Cas' hand and entwined their fingers.

Cas moaned and squeezed Dean’s hand. “Feel so good inside me.”

Dean squeezed Cas' hand in response. He moaned when he thrust up and yelped quietly when his ass hit the bed on the down-thrust, shoving the plug against his prostate.

Cas moaned as he slowly started lifting and lowering himself on Dean’s cock. “Ohhhh, Dean…”

Dean ran his free hand up Cas' thigh to his hip, then up his belly and chest. He rolled a nipple between his fingers. “So beautiful... so perfect... my gorgeous Angel.”

Cas gasped and moaned as he rode Dean harder. He reached behind himself and ran his hand down Dean’s thigh until he felt the base of the plug. He grabbed it and made the plug shift inside Dean.

“Oh, Fuck! Yes!” Dean grasped Cas' cock and stroked it, trying to match the rhythm Cas had going. He swiped his thumb across the head. He let go of Cas' hand, so he could cup Cas' balls as he stroked his cock.

Cas moaned as he shifted so Dean would hit his spot. He got a better hold on the plug, and started fucking Dean with it.

Dean bit his lip and moaned as he felt the push and pull of the plug in his ass. “Just like that. Oh, Angel... fuck... love how you feel on my cock and being filled at the same time.... oh God... I'm getting close.”

Cas thrust the plug into Dean, hoping he had the right angle to hit his spot. He came down hard on Dean’s cock and cried out as cum shot from him, landing on Dean’s chest. Dean thrust up into Cas and came with a shout when Cas tightened around him. He filled Cas' hole as Cas milked Dean's cock with his ass. Cas pulled the plug from Dean, then collapsed forward onto his chest as he tried to catch his breath.

“That was... that was... Fuck, that was awesome, Angel.”

Cas nodded as he swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

“How's the head, little bee? Need some water?”

“Water.”

Dean grabbed the glass and held it to Cas' lips as he took a drink. “Is that better, Angel?”

Cas ran his fingers over Dean’s lips. “Much better.”

Dean set the glass down and laid back. “I'm hungry, but wore out. I don't know if I should eat or sleep. Hmmm It doesn't matter, as long as I'm with you, I'm golden.”

Cas ran his hand over Dean’s chest. “We need to eat.”

Dean smiled. His stomach growled in agreement. “We gonna order in or make something?”

Cas kissed Dean’s chest. “Order in unless you feel like cooking.”

Dean grabbed his phone, opening the delivery app. “What are you in the mood for? Mexican, Chinese, pizza, burgers?”

“Ummmm. Doesn’t matter to me. What do you want?”

Dean settled on pizza and placed the order on the app. Cas had linked his credit card to Dean's account weeks before, so they just had to put some sort of clothing on before heading down to meet the delivery person. “You coming with me, little bee, or are you gonna laze around in bed all day?” Dean teased.

Cas slowly got off the bed and stretched. “I’d like to laze around, but we keep needing sex.”

“I know, Angel. I just can't get enough of you. You're like oxygen. If I don't have you, I'll suffocate and die.”

Cas shook his head. “I highly doubt you’ll die.” He pulled on some clothes. “Do we have time to look at the master?”

Dean pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms that were covered in images of pies of all kinds of flavors. “Yeah, we have time.”

Cas smiled and took Dean’s hand, pulling him down the hallway. He stopped outside the master bedroom and looked at Dean. Dean took a deep breath and opened the door. He let Cas enter the room first. “Well, Angel, this is it. What do you think?”

Cas watched Dean, then looked at the room. “...It’s beautiful.”

Dean stepped further into the room, looking around. He pointed to the vanity and chair. “Mom didn't wear makeup often, but every day, she'd sit there and brush her hair. She had long, beautiful, blonde hair.”

Cas wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and leaned his head against his shoulder. He could tell by the way Dean opened the door, that this wasn’t easy for him.

“Sometimes, she would have me braid it for her. John would get mad, saying she was turning me into a girl.”

Cas shook his head. “If you were straight, knowing how to braid hair, would have made the woman you were with very happy. It would have been one more way to pamper her.”

“Yeah, all he saw was some wimpy hairdresser.”

Cas kissed Dean’s cheek. “And if that’s what you’d wanted to be, there’d be nothing wrong with it. Gay or straight, it wouldn’t have mattered.”

Dean looked down and nodded. “Logically, I know that, but he still gets in my head and twists me all up. I want to be the man he expects, but I NEED to be me, too.”

Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek, then lifted his head until Dean looked at him. “I want you to be you. I don’t care if that’s covered in grease while you work on cars or as some flamboyant hairdresser. I just want you to be happy and comfortable in your own skin.”

“I know, Angel. That's what I want for you, too. Melittologist or part-time beekeeper that sells honey out of the auto shop. I want you to be happy with you.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “I, uh, I normally dress a little different than this. Balth called it nerdy punk. After Raph, I just wasn’t comfortable being me, because I didn’t feel like me. But I do now. I have for a few months, actually.”

Dean looked over Cas' body, trying to picture what 'nerdy punk' might look like. “Gonna have to do a fashion show for me, Angel. I want to see how you dress when you're feeling like you.”

Cas blushed. “We have to get my stuff first.” He looked around the room. “I think we should clean out the room at the end of the hall and put your mom’s stuff in there for a guest room, then we can make this our own space.”

“So, the old storage room is the new guest room, Sam's room stays his, this becomes our room, what about my old room?”

“Our old room would become a playroom.” Cas said as he blushed.

Dean grinned at the blush. “Are you embarrassed that you want a playroom, little bee?” He teased.

Cas shrugged. “I just never thought I’d suggest having one.”

Dean held Cas' hand as he lead him out of the master bedroom and down the stairs to wait for their pizza. “So, you're not wanting like, some dark sex dungeon, right? 'Cause I'm thinking more bright and airy, but someplace to keep the special toys, the swing and the sling. Is that what you had in mind, Sunshine?”

Cas nodded. “I can show you Mike’s when we get my stuff.”

“Will you be ok to go in there? Won't Mike get mad if we invade his space?”

“He never took me in there, so I’ll be fine. I’d ask him before we went in there. I just want you to see what it’s like. It’s pretty nice. The dungeon however…”

Dean coughed. “He has a playroom AND a dungeon!?!”

Cas furrowed his brow. “Yeah. Playrooms are for fun. Dungeons are for punishment.”

“You're never stepping foot in that, or any other, dungeon. Even if we did ever decide that we needed to punish each other, it wouldn't be dungeon-worthy. I want even our "punishments" to be fun and light.”

“Yeah. I don’t ever want one. I’ve seen his just because I was curious. If you’re curious, then I can show it to you.”

“NO! Sorry, Angel. No, I don't want to see it. It'll be hard enough looking him in the eye just knowing he has a dungeon. If I actually see it, every time we're around him, I'll be picturing what he does in there. I don't want those images of Mike in my head.” Dean laughed.

“It’s ok, babe. You don’t have to see it. I’d never make you do something you don’t want to.”

Dean kissed Cas softly. “Thank you, Angel.” The doorbell rang and Dean went to answer it.

Cas waited for Dean to come back and looked at him. “Do you want to see the playroom?”

Dean thought for a moment as he set the pizza down and got plates and napkins. “Yeah, we can look at it.”

Cas smiled softly. “Sorry I didn’t ask first.”

“It's ok, Cas. It's what you grew up with. I'm assuming your parents knew about your brothers' interests. Well, even if they didn't, you did and it was normal for you. Mom and John were either too vanilla or too secretive to even talk about sex in any way other than hetero missionary, doggie or 69. Don't ever be sorry for doing what feels natural for you. If it makes me uncomfortable, I'll tell you.” Dean kissed Cas on the cheek and handed him a slice of pizza.

Cas laughed. “My parents taught them what they know.”

“I'm kind of afraid to ask how, but, call it morbid curiosity. How did they "teach" them?”

Cas took a bite of his pizza. “Mainly with their porn library, but some was Dad inviting someone over and letting Mike and Luke practice on them.”

Dean took a bite of his own slice, thinking. “What did your mom have to say about it, or was she a sub and just took orders?”

Cas took another bite. “She was a Dom, too. They’d switch. She had no problem with my brothers learning.”

“Did they teach you too?”

“They tried to teach all of us. Gabe’s too much of a sub to be interested in what they wanted to teach him. I wasn’t very interested. I don’t want to live that lifestyle. I just want to do things sometimes, for fun.”

Dean was a little shocked. “Gabe's a sub? I wouldn't have guessed that about him. He's so cocky.”

Cas laughed. “Bossy bottom.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah. But, I mean, I guess I do see it a little. Mike tells him to do something, he pretty much does it. They're not... ya know... together, are they?”

Cas wrinkled his nose. “Eww. No. Mike’s just always been bossy, so we’re used to listening.”

Dean put his hand to his chest and laughed. “Oh, thank God. I thought it was about to get REALLY awkward when they're around.”

Cas shook his head. “If Mike had a sub like Gabe... I’m not sure either would survive.”

Dean laughed harder.

Cas furrowed his brow. “If you’d known all this before, would you have thought I was his sub?”

“I would have wondered, probably. But I would have asked and I trust that you'd have told me.”

Cas took a bite of his pizza. “I’d be his type. I don’t cause problems like Gabe.”

Dean threw his arm around Cas. “You could never be his type, unless his type didn't want to be subs. I would think he would want someone who was a willing participant, not someone who was there because of circumstances.”

“Well, yeah. But, I mean, when I am submissive, I’m the type he’d want. Anyone he works with wants to be there. He doesn’t force people to sub for him. But when it comes to us, he just expects us to be submissive to him since we’re younger.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I guess I can understand that. I do expect Sammy to do what I say because I'm older and I guess if you were raised in that life, the Dom attitude would filter through.”

Cas shrugged. “Yeah. It kinda filtered through a little too much.”

“You done eating?” Cas nodded and Dean took their plates to the sink. “Well, now he's back to just being your brother. So, we shouldn't have to worry about you slipping back into that sub way of thinking. But, if it does happen, I am right here to bring you back.”

“I wouldn’t mind being submissive for you sometimes, but nothing like how Mike made me.”

“Honestly, Angel, I wouldn't know where to begin when it comes to being a Dom, and there is no way I'd go to Mike or Luke for advice.”

Cas raised his eyebrow. “You could have fooled me when you tied me to the bed and blindfolded me.”

“Huh. I guess I never thought of it as being a Dom. I just thought you'd like it.”

“It is and it isn’t. In Mike and Luke’s world it isn’t really being a Dom or Master. But for us, that was you being dominant and taking control away from me and making me submissive. You never asked me to completely give up control and I never felt like you’d take it from me. So no, you weren’t a true Dom.”

“Ok, yeah. I can do that, but only if you do it for me too.”

Cas blushed a little. “I’ve kind of been wanting to tie you up for a while. I just wasn’t sure you were ready for that.”

“I'm not positive I am, but I trust that you'll stop if I can't handle it.”

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair as he smiled. “You know I will. Like I said, I’ll never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Me either, Angel.” Dean sighed as he kissed Cas.

Cas twirled Dean’s hair around his fingers as he licked at his lips, then pushed his tongue into Dean’s mouth. Dean moaned into the kiss and pushed his fingers into Cas' hair. Cas ran his tongue over Dean’s as he grabbed a handful of Dean’s hair and backed him up until he hit the wall. Dean grunted when his back hit the wall.

Cas grabbed one of Dean’s wrists and pinned it to the wall, near his head. He deepened the kiss even more as he pressed his cock against Dean’s. Cas quickly released Dean and pulled away, resting his forehead on Dean’s shoulder as he panted. ‘Sorry.’

Dean whimpered when Cas pulled away. The hand that had been pinned went instinctively to the back of Cas' head, resting lightly over the wound. “Cas? What's wrong Angel?”

“You’re not ready for that.” Cas said as he pulled his fingers from Dean’s hair and rested his hand on his chest.

Dean looked down and nodded. “You're probably right, Angel. I mean, I like the idea of it, but... I don't know... I'm sorry, Cas.”

“It’s ok. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m the one that needs to apologize because thinking about you like that shouldn’t get me so excited.”

“Why shouldn't you get excited, Angel? Thinking about you, when I had you tied up and blindfolded, gets me excited.” Cas sighed and shook his head. “Cas? Talk to me. Why do you think you shouldn't get excited by the thought of tying me up?”

Cas kept his forehead on Dean’s shoulder as he blinked back tears. ‘Because you might not ever be ready. I don’t want to make you feel forced, just like you didn’t tell me you wanted to hear me talk because you didn’t want me to feel forced.’

Dean picked Cas up and carried him to the couch and sat with him on his lap. “Again, Angel, you're right. I might not ever be ready. But, I might be ready tomorrow. I know you won't force me. So, if I tell you that I think I'm ready for something, please don't second guess me.”

Cas buried his face in Dean’s shoulder as tears streamed down his cheeks. Dean held Cas as he cried. “I didn't mean to upset you, little bee. How can I help you feel better?” Cas cried and shook his head. “Is that an "I don't know" or an "I don't want to tell you" headshake, Angel?”

Cas cried and wiped at his eyes as he pulled himself from Dean’s arms and got up.  _ “I need to go lay down.” _

Dean sighed and looked down at his hands. 'Can I come too?'

Cas chewed on his lip.  _ “No talking.” _

Dean continued to look at his hands, so he didn't see that Cas had responded. 'Don't break up with me, Angel.' Tears started to fall from Dean's eyes.

Cas stared at Dean for a moment. “ _ Me _ break up with  _ you _ ? Dean, the day you break up with me is the day I’ll no longer exist.”

Dean looked up at Cas, shocked. “I'm not going to break up with you! You mean everything to me.” 'I.. I don't understand what's going on.'

Cas pulled at his hair, wincing when it put tension on his stitches. “I don’t want to talk about it because I don’t want to think about every time I wasn’t ready but I was pressured into being ready. I don’t want to think that you’ll do the same thing. I don’t want to think about everything I’ve done that I didn’t want to. I don’t want to cut, Dean, but it’s making my skin itch for a blade.”

Dean stood and took a step toward Cas, then stopped. “I'm sorry. I hope I've never made you feel pressured.” He sniffled and wiped at his eyes. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I don't want you to feel the need to cut. I just want to help you. We don't have to talk about it. Can I just hold you?” Cas swallowed hard and nodded. Dean nodded and reached out for Cas. Cas took the few steps to Dean and fell into his arms.

Dean picked Cas up again and carried him upstairs to their room. He set Cas down on the bed. Dean stripped down to his boxers, then helped Cas do the same. He crawled in the bed and made room for Cas in his arms, whenever his Angel was ready. Cas cuddled into Dean’s arms, with his head on his chest, and let out a sigh.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, stroking his skin gently. He started humming, then singing "Angel's Lullaby" by Reba McEntire softly.   
“ _ Midnight moonlight shining through the curtain lace _ _  
_ _ Paints a perfect picture on your perfect face _ _  
_ _ One sweet angel sleeping in my arms _ _  
_ _ You are the promise I knew God would keep _ _  
_ _ You are the gift that makes my world complete.” _

_ “And you'll never know how much I love you _ _  
_ _ But I'll keep on telling you my whole life through _ __  
_ Now I believe in miracles, and you're the reason why _ _  
_ __ So dream on while I sing you my angel's lullaby. ”

Cas snuggled closer and closed his eyes.

'Sleep, Angel. I've got you.'

Cas slowly drifted off in Dean’s arms. Dean cried silently, until he too, drifted off to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally meets Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Talking”  
> ‘Whispering’  
>  _“ASL”_  
>  _Typing/Writing_

Cas stood outside the school, waiting for Dean near the Impala. He messed around on his phone, then gasped when he was grabbed from behind.

“Hello, baby brother.”

Cas struggled to get out of Luke’s strong hold. “Let go of me, you asshole!”

Dean was almost to the Impala, when he saw a man grab Cas from behind. He saw Cas struggle to get free and heard him cry out. “Son of a Bitch! Get off him!”

Dean jerked the man back by his shoulder and punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground. He straddled the man and hit him again. “Don't you touch him!”

“Dean! Stop!” Cas yelled as he grabbed Dean’s arm to keep him from hitting Luke again.

Luke spit blood onto the cement, then gingerly touched his lip. “This must be the Adonis. Nobody mentioned he was such a pit bull.”

“Angel? Did he hurt you? I'll hit him again if he did!”

“Hurt him? I may be a sadomasochist, but I’d never hurt Castiel.”

Cas sighed and pulled Dean off of Luke. “Dean, this is Luke. Luke, Dean.”

Dean looked at the man on the ground next to Baby, then at Cas. “Luke? Your brother, Luke?”

Cas reached down and helped Luke up. “Yeah.”

Luke brushed himself off. “The better looking twin.”

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his feet. “Oh, sorry. I just thought... Sorry.”

Luke shook his head. “It’s ok. I know about the attack, so I understand why you’d react that way. It’s nice to know Castiel has a boyfriend that actually cares about him this time.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Fiancé.”

Dean smiled and wrapped an arm around Cas' waist. “Of course I care about him. He's my Angel.” Cas smiled and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder.

Luke looked at the couple and shook his head. “I have a feeling my dear brother left a few key details out, knowing I’d get attacked.”

Cas chuckled. “Sounds like Mike.”

Dean held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Luke. Sorry about the punching and the lip. I thought someone was hurting Cas. I can't let that happen again.”

Luke shook Dean’s hand. “It's nice to meet you, too. And don’t worry about it. I’m just glad to know he’s well protected.” Luke glanced at Cas. “Ready to go home?”

“Uh, I live with Dean now.”

Dean looked at Cas. “We can go visit with your brothers, if you want. It's up to you, Angel.”

Cas looked from Luke to Dean. “Uhhhh…” He looked back at Luke. “Will you help us get the last of my stuff from Mike’s?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks, man. Do you, uh, need a ride?”

“Yeah. My dear, dear brother dropped me off here and said Cas would take me home.”

Cas smacked his forehead and winced.  _ “His bags are probably on our porch.” _

_ "We can drive by and check before we go to Mike's." “ _ Alright. Hop in.”

Luke eyed both of them as he got in the Impala. “What were you saying about my bags?”

Cas got in and glanced at Luke. “I was telling him they’re probably sitting on our porch. We’ll check before going to Mike’s.”

“This is a nice ride, Dean. It's a '67, like yours, right, Jimmy?”

Cas scowled. “Don’t make me release my pit bull, Luci.” Dean growled. Cas giggled and leaned over, kissing Dean softly.

Luke shook his head. “I’m surprised Micheal allowed you to move out and get engaged. I’m assuming he found Dean to be a suitable Dom for you?”

Dean shook his head. “What is it with you older Novak's? Why does Cas have to have a Dom? He doesn't want to be a sub.”

“Oh, no. You misunderstood. I don’t think Cas needs a Dom. Mike’s the one pushing those rolls on him and Gabe.”

Cas glanced at Luke. “He’s not my Dom and it wasn’t up to Mike. Gabe’s my guardian now.”

Luke's eyebrows shot up. “Gabriel? The same Gabriel that killed Fluffy, is responsible for you?”

“Only in the legal sense. Gabe actually leaves us alone, for the most part. Cas and I both go to school, have jobs and will be going to KU in the fall, as husbands.”

Luke furrowed his brow. “KU? I thought you had a full ride to Texas A&M.” Cas tensed and looked out the windshield.

“Texas? You're going to Texas? But, I thought…” Dean stared at the road.

Cas put his hand on Dean’s thigh. “I’m going to KU. I turned A&M down.”

“Why would you turn them down? It's a great school.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Can we please not do this while you’re driving?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, Angel. Whatever you want.” His voice was tight. Cas blinked back tears as he moved closer to the door.

Luke sighed as he watched both of them. 'Well, fuck.'

As soon as Dean pulled up at the house Cas jumped out of the car and hurried for the door, letting himself in, then ran up to their room.

Luke ran his hand over his face. “Sorry.”

“Not your fault. We're trying to work through some shit and I think I fucked up again. Make yourself comfortable or call Mike or Gabe to pick you up. I gotta try to fix this.” Dean left Luke to his own devices and ran up the stairs after Cas. Cas sat on the edge of the bed, picking at the hem of his shirt. “Angel, you are so brilliant. You can do so much better than KU. You're better than that.”

Cas stared at a spot on the floor. “I dropped A&M about two months ago for KU.”

“Ok. But why? I don't understand.” Cas shrugged. Dean stood and started pacing. “Ok, so about 2 months ago you decided to change your college plans, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Let's see.... two months ago... that's... huh. That's about when we starting dating. Did you switch to KU for me?”

Cas sighed. “Kinda.”

“Damnit, Cas! Why would you do that? I'm just a dumb mechanic!”

“Because I wanted to be here, with you.”

“I want you here with me, I do. I just don't understand why you would throw away your future on someone you had just started dating. What if we hadn't stayed together? What if you hadn't forgiven me at Halloween? Angel?”

“Why does that matter? We did and I did.”

“That's a lot to put on a person. Hell, Angel, my own fucking father thinks I'm worthless. I couldn't bear it if, one day, you think that of me too. If you regretted turning down something as awesome as A&M for a damn grease monkey.”

Cas set his jaw. “Do you want me to call them and tell them I changed my mind and will be attending?”

“Yes... No... I don't know... No. No, I don't want you to go to Texas. Angel, I love you. I just can't have you grow to hate me.”

“No. You know what, Dean? You’re right. I might end up regretting giving up A&M. I should call them and tell them I’m going to attend. While I’m at it, I should call my roommate and tell him he doesn’t have to find a new one. I’m sure Balthazar will be thrilled to hear that he’s getting his fuck toy back.”

“WHAT?!? DAMNIT! Why do I have to keep fucking everything up?” Dean balled up his fist and punched the wall. “He was right. I should have listened to him. I can't do anything right. I can't even be happy that my fiancé wants to be with me. I'm so fucking stupid.” He punched the wall again.

Cas jumped up and ran over to Dean, grabbing his hand to stop him. “Dean, Honeybee, stop. Two months ago, I dropped A&M because this amazing mechanic came into my life and made things better. I’d planned on going to A&M and going back to Balth, until I met you. I applied for KU. I didn’t accept KU until last month. I already knew that you were it for me. I will never regret giving up my abusive ex for my loving mechanic.”

Dean shook. He couldn't breathe. His eyelids fluttered and he started to sink to the floor. “C-cas? Wh-what's…” Dean gripped at Cas' shirt as he went down.

Cas grabbed Dean tight to keep him from falling. “Dean? Luke! Help!”

Luke ran up the stairs and looked at them. “What the hell happened?”

“We were fighting and he passed out. Help me get him on the bed.”

Luke walked over to them and lifted Dean into his arms and put him on the bed. “I’ll be right back.” He said as he ran down the stairs. Cas sat on the bed next to Dean and cried.

Luke came back in the room with a vial. He opened it and waved it under Dean's nose. After a few moments, Dean began to stir. “Come on back, Dean. Cas, go get a cool, damp cloth for his head, please.”

Cas ran from the bedroom and got a wet washcloth. He ran back to the room and almost ran into Luke because his tears were blinding him.

“Cas, you need to calm down. Take a deep breath in... now let it out slowly... again.... better?”

Cas shook his head as he looked at Dean and fresh tears fell. “I did this to him.” Cas put his face in his hands and started sobbing.

'Angel?'

“D-Dean?” Cas cried as he threw himself on top of his fiancé.

“Hey. There he is.” Luke capped the vial and put it in his pocket.

“Cas? Angel? What happened? Why do I smell peppermint and rosemary?”

“Balsam too. I think you had a panic attack, kiddo.”

Cas balled his fists in Dean’s shirt as he cried. Dean slid his hands up and down Cas' back. “I'm sorry, Angel.”

Cas got up on wobbly legs and hurried to the bathroom, barely making it before he threw up.

Dean tried to get up to follow Cas, but Luke stopped him. “You stay in that bed, Tiger. Don't want to pick you up off the floor again. I'll check on Cas.”

Cas hugged the toilet as he continued to throw up. Luke looked down at his brother sadly. “Oh, Cas. You two make quite the pair.” He pulled the vial from his pocket and crouched beside Cas. “Smell this, little brother. It should help you too.”

Cas took shaky breaths. ‘Head hurts.’

“Are you done throwing up?”

‘Yeah. Want Dean.’

Luke grabbed the mouthwash and handed a capful to Cas. “Rinse and spit. Then, we'll get you to loverboy.”

Cas rinsed and spat, then tried to stand. He groaned when the room started spinning and collapsed back onto the floor. Luke lifted Cas and carried him back to the bedroom, laying him down next to Dean on the bed. Cas whimpered as he snuggled against Dean. ‘Head hurts.’

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and kissed his temple. 'I know, Angel. Luke, can you get his pills?'

‘Of course. Where are they?’

'Night stand. Should be a glass of water there too.' Dean pointed over his shoulder.

Luke picked up the pill bottle and looked it over before dumping a pill into his hand and giving it, and the water, to Dean. ‘How often is he needing these?’

'He hasn't had one since last night. He wouldn't take one before going to school this morning. Before that, three or four times a day.'

Luke shook his head. ‘Such a stubborn little bumblebee.’

‘Stop talking about me like I’m not right here.’ Cas whispered then winced.

'I'm sorry, Angel. Can you sit up and take your pill?'

‘...Maybe.’ Cas slowly tried to sit up as tears rolled down his cheeks. Luke reached over and gently helped him.

Once he swallowed the pill, Dean carefully tucked Cas back into his arms. He twirled a lock of Cas' hair between his fingers. 'Try to relax, Sunshine.' He gently kissed his forehead. 'Luke, what was that stuff in the vial?'

Luke pulled out the vial and showed Dean. ‘Homemade smelling salts. Peppermint, rosemary and Balsam essential oils mixed with Epsom and sea salt. Great for energizing and mental alertness, and safer than the ammonia-based, commercial ones.' Cas sighed and snuggled into Dean. ‘Dean? Are your parents going to be ok with me staying here or will I need to get Gabe to get me later?’

'It won't be a problem. Just, make sure the door is locked.'

‘Are you sure?’

Cas sighed. ‘It’s our house.’

'What?'

'It's a long story, one I don't want to go into right now, but when I turn 18 in January, it becomes my and Cas' house.'

‘So two high school seniors live here alone and haven’t turned it into a frat house? I’m amazed.’

'We're not animals. Anyway, I'm an emancipated minor, so I'm subjected to home inspections. Jody'd drag my ass back to Bobby's in a heartbeat if this place became a constant party.'

‘Ah. That makes more sense. I just know if any of my siblings, myself included, had our own house as a teenager we’d be throwing huge parties.’

Cas shook his head slightly. ‘You guys did throw huge parties when our parents were out of town.’

'True. And you were quite the little party animal.'

‘...Shut up.’

'Angel? You were a partier?'

Luke pulled out his phone and brought up a picture of Cas as his nerdy punk self and showed it to Dean. 'Heard he’s been more mellow since he moved here.' Cas hid his face in Dean’s chest with a groan.

'That's sexy. I've thought about changing my look, but the thrift stores here in Lawrence have mostly jeans and flannel.'

‘You have money now. You don’t have to shop at the thrift stores.’ Cas said, slightly muffled by Dean’s chest.

'Wow. You two are serious."

'I know, little bee, but it's hard to stop thinking like that.' Dean looked at Luke. ‘Of course we're serious. What would make you think we weren't?’

Luke held his hands up. 'I meant as a couple. You’re already combining bank accounts. That’s pretty serious. Has Mike discussed prenups yet?'

Cas shifted to look at Luke. “No and neither will you. We don’t need one and I don’t want one.”

“I don't love Cas for his money. He could have been living on the streets and I'd still have fallen in love with him. If he lost every dime, I'd still be here to take care of him.”

“Dean didn’t even know how much I have until about a week ago. If this falls apart, I’ll gladly give Dean whatever percentage he asks for or the court decides he deserves. Until I met him I was thinking about ending it or going back to Balthazar. I don’t care if I only get one year with him. That one year would be worth my entire bank account.”

Luke held up his hands some more. “Whoa. You know that’s just the lawyer in me coming out. Hold on. I’ll shut him off.” Luke pressed between his eyes and did a shutting down noise as he slumped forward.

“I’m not two anymore.” Cas said with a giggle.

Luke opened one eye and eyed him. “Yet it still makes you laugh.”

“You are so different from Mike. But, I don't want Cas' money. I only want him.”

Luke groaned as his head fell back. “Everyone assumes he’s the nicer twin because of my name. Mike’s a dick. He’ll tear someone apart and never bat an eye. I stop at the first sign it’s not enjoyable, safeword or not.”

Cas glanced at Dean. “I thought I’d told you he’s my favorite.” He looked back at Luke. “Dean’s had access to  _ our _ money for a week. Would you like to know what he’s bought? Food, some new underwear and socks, and a part for Baby. I had to convince him it was ok to spend that much on an original part.”

“Seventeen and that much restraint? That  _ is _ a pleasant surprise, not something often seen in someone so young.”

Dean blushed under the attention. “I had to grow up fast, after…” Dean shook his head. He looked at Cas. “Head feeling better, Angel?”

Cas nodded. “They work fast.”

“Well, whatever the case, knowing that has eased my mind some. That Balthazar dick would have blown through half his money by now. He didn’t even have access to it, but he got you to spend how much, Cas?”

Cas shrugged. “A couple grand.”

“Yep, breaking his nose. How many times am I up to now?”Dean laughed.

“Probably four or five, but I’ll round it up to ten.”

Luke bust out laughing. “Man, I’m glad you found him, Cas. Now you know the difference between trash and a good man.”

“I do have to thank him, though. He was there for my Angel when I was an asshole, and he also sent me videos of Cas back in Pontiac... before. He was surrounded by friends and so happy. Plus, I have to thank him for being a self-centered jerk. If he hadn't been, Cas would still be with him and going to A&M. Instead, he's with me, gonna go to KU and study his bees.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “You don’t need to thank him for anything. We would have gotten past it without him.”

“He’s right, Dean. The happy Cas you saw only came out around his friends. He was miserable with Balthazar.”

Dean's stomach grumbled and he looked down at it. “I don't want to get up.” He looked at Cas. “I don't want to talk about him anymore, either. Is that ok, Angel?”

“I never want to talk about him.” Cas said as he snuggled back into Dean.

Luke smiled softly. “What would you like to eat? I’ll take care of it.”

“You choose, Sunshine. I picked last night.”

Cas thought for a moment. “Steak, twice baked potatoes, and bacon wrapped asparagus.”

Luke shook his head. “Do you have everything I’ll need?”

“I'm not sure. With the latest attack, I haven't had time to go to the store.”

“We don’t.”

Luke shook his head and held out his hand. “Keys.” Cas pulled his keys from his pocket and handed them to Luke. “Would you like a snack while I’m shopping?”

Dean snuggled closer to Cas and nodded. “Yes, please. There should be some fruit salad in the fridge.” Luke nodded and went downstairs. 'I know you like it when I eat healthier.'

Cas smiled. “I do. Thank you.”

“And I know that the bacon is your sneaky way to try and get me to eat aspara-guts.”

Cas smirked. “And it’s going to work.”

Luke came back with the bowl, a fork, and two drinks. “If you think of anything you need, just text me.”

“PIE!”

Luke laughed as Cas shook his head. “Any particular kind?”

Dean looked at Cas. “What was the kind you brought to Thanksgiving?”

Cas smiled. “Apple caramel crunch.”

“Ah. Your favorite is Cas’ favorite, huh.”

“My favorite is related to mood. Right now, I want comfort.”

“Can you get us a buttermilk, too? And please don’t get them from the store. Go to Gabe’s.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “As if I’d buy an inferior pie from a store.”

“You're gonna wait for Gabe to bake us two pies?” Dean asked with a confused look on his face.

“No. Gabe has a shop.”

“How do I not know about this?”

Cas shrugged as Luke quietly slipped out of the room. “You’d annoy him for free pie and I wouldn’t be able to make them for you.”

Dean nodded and kissed Cas. “You're probably right. I can be annoying when it comes to pie. I love when you make me pie.”

Cas smiled. “You already like his pies. You just didn’t know it’s his shop. Does Heavenly Bakery ring a bell?”

“Oh my God! I love that place! The pies are amazing and they are affordable. I didn't know it was Gabe's. I thought he was gonna be a lawyer.”

Cas smirked. “Did you notice a drop in prices for you lately? Honestly, I think he’ll drop out. He was only going because our parents pushed him. He never really wanted to be a lawyer.”

“I... huh... they just kept saying they were marked down. He doesn't seem like he's got the temperament for law.”

Cas smiled. “That was the ‘I’m fucking Castiel Novak’ discount. He doesn’t. It’d be like a Jim Carey movie.”

“That is a hilarious movie! 'I can't lie!'" Dean laughed. “So, anyone else in the family gonna give me the 'I'm fucking Castiel' discount?”

“Need a lawyer? Luke definitely would. Mike might.”

“I was kidding, Angel. You already know that I'll discount any auto work for your family, right?”

“Well, you did mine for free when we weren’t fucking so…”

“That was because I didn't need to order parts. I was able to find everything I needed out in the scrap yard, so it was just me helping out a friend. At that time, I would have charged Gabe. Now, I'd only charge him if I had to order a part.”

Cas raised his eyebrow. “You didn’t have to buy even one part for my car?”

“Nope, not one. I'm always on the lookout for older Impalas so I have parts for Baby, so what I needed was there.”

“Ah, so you used parts you had reserved for Baby on my car.”

“Well, not really 'reserved" for Baby. I am the Impala expert in the area, remember.”

“Ok. So parts you could have made money on.” Cas said as he stuck his tongue out at Dean.

“Right, and I didn't charge you for labor either. At that time, I would have charged Gabe for all of it. Now, parts only and he'd get them at cost.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “Just admit it’s because you wanted to fuck me.”

Dean shivered when Cas found the spot that drove him crazy. “Maybe subconsciously. Remember how I panicked when we first kissed? I'm so glad we did, though.”

Cas licked and nipped at that spot. “Mmmhmmm. But, you also went straight to Sam and freaked out because you liked me. I think you’d wanted me for a while.”

Dean moaned and shifted to press his hardening cock against Cas' hip. “I knew I wanted you near. I was still so confused about who I was supposed to be and who I actually am.”

“And having me near you felt right?” Cas asked before sucking on the spot.

Dean's eyes fluttered closed. “Yes. I never knew something was missing in my life until you showed up. Now, I can't picture my life without you in it.” Dean drew in a ragged breath. “So good, Angel. Don't stop.”

Cas continued to suck on Dean’s neck as he ran his fingers over his hard cock. Dean's fingers itched to dive into Cas' hair and pull. He knew how much Cas liked that, but he stopped himself and grabbed his bicep instead. “Angel, you feel so good. Wanna be with you, like this, forever.”

Cas ran his tongue over the hickey. “I know you do. If you didn’t you wouldn’t have proposed.” He grabbed Dean’s hand and brought it to his hair. “I think you missed your mark.”

“I don't want to fuck up your stitches, Angel. Where can I grab and pull that won't hurt you?”

“Where I put your hand.” Cas said before nipping at Dean’s Adam’s apple.

Dean tugged lightly. “How's that, little bee?”

“Harder.”

Dean tugged hard and exposed his throat. He mouthed at Cas' pulse point. “Better?”

Cas moaned. “Fuck, yeah.”

“Getting hard for me, Angel?”

Cas swallowed hard. “Already was.”

Dean released the hair, massaged the scalp, then tugged again. He nipped at Cas' neck. “How do you want it, my love?”

Cas gasped and moaned. “Ride me.”

Dean moaned and shifted Cas onto his back. “Fuck, yes. Need to feel you in me, Angel.”

Cas ran his hand over Dean’s chest. “And I need to be inside you.”

Dean kissed down Cas' chest as he unbuttoned his shirt, exposing more and more flesh. Cas breathed heavily as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“I love how toned your abs are.” Dean licked a trail along each muscle.

Cas gasped and fisted his fingers in Dean’s hair. Dean swirled his tongue around the edge of Cas' bellybutton, then looked up at Cas before thrusting his tongue in. Cas moaned and tugged on Dean’s hair. “Oh fuck...Dean…”

Dean unfastened Cas' pants and started to tug them down. “Lift up, Sunshine.” Cas lifted his hips as he scratched at Dean’s scalp. “Damn, your fingers feel wonderful.”

Cas smiled and scratched at Dean’s scalp more. “You got fleas or something?”

Dean nipped at Cas' hip. “Smartass!”

Cas laughed and scratched behind Dean’s ear like you would a dog. “Who’s a good boy?”

Dean laughed and yipped and panted like a puppy. “I thought you wanted me to ride you, not do me doggy-style, Angel.”

Cas laughed as he ran his fingers over Dean’s face then over his lips. “No doggy-style today.”

Dean kissed the tips of Cas' fingers. He wrapped his fingers around Cas' cock and stroked it slowly. “Love the feel of your cock in my hand. Such velvety skin over steely hardness.”

Cas moaned as his hips bucked. “You just now realizing that?” He asked with a smirk.

“No, but I don't think I ever told you.” He licked a stripe up the shaft and kissed the tip.

Cas gripped the sheets as he moaned. “You’ve told me you love feeling it in your hand, but you weren’t descriptive.”

“I'm feeling poetic today, for maybe two minutes. Enjoy it while you can, little bee.” Dean got on his knees and sat back on his heels. He took off his flannel, then pulled his t-shirt off over his head.

Cas reached for Dean’s chest and abs as he looked him over. “You really are an Adonis.”

Dean blushed, the redness making his freckles stand out even more on his face, shoulders and chest. Cas shifted so he could touch Dean. He ran his fingers from freckle to freckle across Dean’s chest. “I know you hate them, but I think they’re beautiful.”

“Just don't call them cute.”

Cas eyed Dean. “Why not?”

“The girls at school have always fawned all over them and gone on and on about how 'cute' they are. I was always the 'boy with the super-cute freckles.' It got annoying really fast.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hips. “So I can’t say the ones on your ass are cute?”

Dean hummed in thought. “Well, I guess you can call those cute. You're the only one to see those.”

Cas moved his hands and undid Dean’s pants. “And the ones on your inner thighs? Can I call them cute?”

“Are you gonna catalog all of my freckles, little bee?”

Cas smiled softly. “I already have.” He ran his hands up Dean’s body. “The ones I love the most are the ones nobody else would notice. Like this one, by your left nipple. Or the three on your lips, or the five on your eyelids.”

“I.. I didn't know you paid that much attention to my freckles. Have you counted all of them too?” Dean joked to try and hide how much the attention affected him.

Cas’ eyes roamed Dean’s face as he looked at all of his freckles. “I’ve tried. You always move or wake up before I can finish. There’s roughly sixty on your nose. I think there’s ten on your right ear. You turned your head while I was counting. There’s six on your dick.”

“You counted the ones on my dick!? Oh, Angel, you're so weird. I.. I actually love that about you.” Dean leaned down and kissed Cas, licking along his lips until they parted and he could slide his tongue inside.

Cas moaned into the kiss as he carded his fingers through Dean’s hair. Dean shimmied out of his jeans and boxers as they continued to kiss. Cas tangled his tongue with Dean’s as he tugged on his hair.

Dean reached under his pillow for the bottle of lube. He moaned and pulled back slightly. “Get me ready to ride your cock, please, Angel?”

Cas smirked. “Would it be a bad time to tell you that you have a freckle there, too?”

Dean laughed. “You're gonna point out every one of the damn things, aren't you, Sunshine?”

“I might.” Cas kissed Dean softly. “But you’re not just the boy with cute freckles to me. Just like I’m not just the boy with amazing blue eyes to you.”

“They are amazingly blue. They stand out beautifully against your tanned skin and messy, just been fucked, silky, dark hair.”

Cas blushed and looked at anything other than Dean. “I can’t tell you how many times I wished they were just a normal brown so people would shut up about them.”

Dean stared at Cas until he looked back at Dean. “You've heard that the eyes are the windows to the soul, right, Angel?” Cas nodded. “Your beautiful eyes show the world what a sweet, kind, loving, playful, intelligent, creative, passionate, beautiful person you are. The color isn't just blue, it shifts with your mood. When you are serious or upset, they darken, like the sea at midnight. When you're happy or feeling passionate about something, they burn bright. When you're in a teasing, playful mood, they lighten, like a clear October sky at noon. They are beautiful and perfect and I love them.” Dean leaned down and gently kissed each eyelid, in turn.

Cas blinked back tears. “And you think I pay too much attention to your freckles.”

“It was unavoidable. You are my world, I'm going to pay attention to every detail. I'm sure the same is true for you, little bee.”

Cas smiled and wiped his eyes. “It is. So, uh, how did you want me to prep you?”

“I want to suck your cock while you get me ready.”

Cas sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and bit it. "Ok."

Dean pressed soft kisses to his lips and smiled before turning around and straddling Cas' chest. He held the base of Cas' dick with one hand and licked from root to tip. "Beautifully delicious." He swirled his tongue around the head.

Cas moaned. He ran his tongue over Dean’s hole, then bit one of his cheeks. Dean moaned, then yelped. He wiggled his hips slightly. Dean wrapped his lips around the head of Cas' dick and began a slow rhythm up and down, taking him deeper each time.

Cas moaned as his hips bucked. He ran his tongue over Dean’s hole, then pushed it in. Dean moaned around Cas' dick, sending vibrations through the shaft. Cas moaned and pushed a finger into Dean before pulling his tongue out. “Fuck…”

Dean slid his lips up, took a breath and slid down deep on Cas' cock. He relaxed his throat, slid a little farther and swallowed. Cas took a shaky breath as he tugged on his own hair. “Deeeaaan…”

Dean pulled off his dick with a wet pop and took a breath. “Yeah, Angel? What's wrong?”

Cas swallowed hard. “Can’t... Fuck... Too good.”

“Want me to stop so you can get me ready?”

Cas tugged hard at his hair. “I... Fuck.”

“Want to watch me stretch myself as I suck your cock?”

Cas moaned. “Gonna make me cum.”

“Ok, Angel. Put some lube on my fingers and just watch.” Dean held his hand out and waited. Cas fumbled with the lube before he finally managed to coat Dean’s fingers. Dean rubbed his fingers around his hole and pushed two in roughly. He dropped his forehead down on Cas' thigh as he scissored and curled them inside himself. “Fuck.” Dean began to thrust his fingers in and out. “More lube, please, Angel.”

Cas drizzled lube over Dean’s hole and fingers. “So fucking gorgeous.”

Dean spread the lube around inside his hole, then slid a third finger in with the first two. His thrusting got faster and deeper. Occasionally he would stop and spread his fingers apart, breathing heavier, before thrusting them back in and giving them a little twist. “Fuck, Angel, how does it look? Think I'm ready yet?”

Cas bit one of Dean’s ass cheeks. “Yeah. You’re ready.”

Dean bucked at the bite. “I can never say 'bite my ass' without getting hard again, Sunshine.” He pulled his fingers out and rolled off Cas. Dean turned around to face Cas. He poured more lube on his fingers and spread it on Cas' cock. He straddled Cas' waist, leaned down to kiss him. Dean held Cas' cock steady as he pushed back and felt the head penetrate him. “Fuck, that feels incredible.”

Cas ran his hands up and down Dean’s thighs as he bit his lip hard. “You feel amazing.”

Dean sank further down on Cas' cock before lifting up slowly. “So do you, Angel.” Quickly, Dean sank down until Cas was fully sheathed inside him and he let out a long, low moan. Cas moaned as he brought his hands to Dean’s hips.

Dean put his hands on Cas' thighs and leaned back. The change in the angle caused Cas' cock to hit Dean's spot and made him see stars. “Oh... God... Angel... mine... my Angel…”

Cas gripped Dean’s hips as he thrust up into him. “Fuck... Dean... So fucking hot riding my cock.”

“Harder, Cas, fuck me harder... Ohhh, Angel!” Cas held Dean’s hips tighter as he thrust harder into Dean. “That's it.. yeah.. right there..” Dean threw his head back. His fingers gripped Cas' thighs tight enough to bruise.

Cas moved one hand to Dean’s cock, stroking it in rhythm with his hard thrust. “So perfect, Dean. So fucking beautiful.”

Dean moved one hand to join Cas' on his cock, stroking it together. “Incredible, Angel. So close. Yes, make me cum on your big, beautiful cock!”

Cas moaned and stroked Dean harder as he thrust roughly against his spot. “Cum for me, Honeybee!”

Dean arched back and came hard, shooting cum over both of them. “Cas... ti... el! Oh.. I love you... my Angel!”

“Dean!” Cas cried as he hit Dean’s spot hard. He filled Dean as his nails dug into his hip.

Dean collapsed backward, panting, grinning. “Oh, wow! That was fun!” Dean tried to shift, but found he was somewhat boneless. “I think we're kinda tangled, Sunshine.”

Cas laughed and reached for Dean. “Give me your hands.” Dean grabbed Cas' hands and let himself be pulled forward, so they were lying chest to chest. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed the top of his head. “That was...wow.”

Dean snuggled closer to Cas and kissed his chest. “It sure was, Angel.”

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, scratching at his scalp. “We definitely have to do that again.”

Dean smiled and sighed. “Oh, yeah. That definitely goes on the list of favorites.”

Cas smiled as he scratched at Dean’s scalp then gently ran his nails over his shoulders and back. “Mine too. You were beautiful on top of me like that.”

Dean shivered at the light scratching of his skin. “It felt fantastic. Every time I moved, you hit at a different angle. Then, your hands on my hips, fuck, it hurt just right.”

Cas laughed softly as he ran his nails over Dean’s back. “Is my Honeybee a little masochistic?”

Dean nipped at the nipple under his cheek. “Only a little. Sometimes a little pain makes you feel alive, little bee.”

Cas gasped. “Maybe we can talk to Luke about toys for the playroom.”

Dean licked at the nipple, then blew on it lightly as he thought. “Yeah. Luke seems alright. He doesn't appear to be the type that would hurt someone just for the sake of hurting them. We could ask him.”

Cas moaned. “He likes to give pain, but only to someone that wants it and enjoys it. He probably has some stuff with him that we could try and see if you like it.”

Dean nodded and grimaced when he shifted. “Ugh, sticky. We should go shower, Angel.”

Cas laughed a little. “Yeah. You never ate your fruit and I smell steak cooking.”

Dean pouted playfully. “You started it by attacking that spot on my neck that you  _ know _ drives me wild, Angel."

Cas hummed. “I did do that didn’t I?”

Dean smiled. “Yes, you did. I didn't get my snack, I'm all sticky, and I'm sure Luke heard our climax. Somehow, though, I can't seem to be mad about it.” Dean winked, kissed the tip of Cas' nose and hopped out of bed to go shower. “You coming, little bee?”

Cas smiled as he got off the bed. “Of course I’m coming.”

Dean turned on the shower, letting the water heat up while he grabbed two towels. He stepped under the spray and reached for Cas. Dean washed and rinsed Cas' hair, added conditioner, then washed his body. After he rinsed the conditioner out, Dean pulled Cas close for a kiss.

Cas licked into Dean’s mouth, then slowly pulled back. He returned the favor, scratching at Dean’s scalp as he washed and conditioned his hair, then washing his body, paying special attention to his ass. “I love you.”

“Always and forever, my Angel.”

Cas smiled. “We should put some clothes on and see how much longer the meal will take.”

“Yeah, we should. Gabe may not smack my ass, but I have a feeling Luke just might.” Dean gave Cas a chaste kiss and wandered off to get dressed.

Cas hurried after Dean and wrapped his arms around him, then kissed his shoulder. “He’d only do it if you’d asked him to. Although... He might not be able to resist.” Cas said as he pulled away and smacked Dean’s ass hard.

Dean yelped and rubbed his ass. “Did I call you Angel? Because I'm thinking you're a little demon.”

Cas smirked. “You like me like this.”

“I do, but you make it difficult to sit.” Dean laughed. Cas quickly smacked the other cheek, then giggled as he hurried over to the dresser. “Just you wait, little bee. Payback's a bitch.”

Cas smirked as he pulled on boxers and pajama bottoms. “I look forward to it.”

Dean groaned as his dick tried to show how much it liked that idea. “You're determined that I'm gonna have wood in front of everyone we know, aren't you?” He laughed as he also dressed in boxers and pajama pants, only Dean's had Batman on them, while Cas' had unicorns and narwhals on them.

Cas chew on his lip. “Of course not. If I was trying to do that I’d say I wanted you to tie me down and smack my ass until it’s nice and red, then fuck me into the mattress.” Cas said with a wink.

Dean just stared at Cas, blinked a few times and cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, I guess it's a good thing you didn't say that, huh?”

“A very good thing, especially since I’d want you to yank my hair while you fucked me until I begged you to let me cum.”

Dean whimpered and bit his lip. “Caaaassss? Damn, Angel, you're gonna be the death of me before we even get married. I can see it now... Here lies Dean Winchester, died by lack of blood flow to the brain because his fiancé made him hard 24/7, he was only 17.” Dean looked at Cas with puppy dog eyes. “So sad, he had such a promising career as a grease monkey ahead of him.” Dean shakes his head, trying not to laugh.

Cas kissed Dean softly, then grabbed his ass. “When I’m better I’ll let you do all of that and more. I promise.”

Dean squeezed Cas' ass gently and pressed a kiss to his neck. “I'm gonna hold you to that. Mmm... Just the thought of that is gonna have me at least half hard for a month.”

“Only half hard? Maybe I’ll have to let you choke me with your large cock, too.”

Dean moaned. “Fuck, dude, I said AT LEAST half hard. I do have to sleep at least 15 minutes a day, or I'm just useless.” He laughed.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and laughed. “Honeybee, you sleep more than 15 minutes.”

Dean laughed and relaxed into Cas' arms. “Yeah, yeah. Ready to head down and eat? It smells like it's close to ready.”

Cas smiled. “Yup. His cooking is amazing. It might make you half hard.” He said with a smirk.

Dean picked Cas up in a fireman's carry and headed for the stairs. “You are just being feisty today, Angel!”

Cas laughed and smacked Dean’s ass. “Should have thought this through!”

Dean smacked Cas' ass as he carried him down the stairs. “Oh, I thought it through, little bee!”

Cas yelped, then started smacking Dean’s ass with both hands. “Did you, though?”

“LUKE!! Help me out here!”

Luke glanced at them and laughed. “Never seen this side of him, I’m guessing.”

Cas giggled as he slipped his hand inside Dean’s bottoms and ran his finger over his hole. Dean's legs started to shake and he nearly lost his grip on Cas. “Fuck, Angel, I don't want to drop you. Luke, you got any advice?” Dean walked them over to the couch. If he did lose his grip, it would be a softer landing.

Luke shook his head. “Not really. You must have put him in a good mood.”

Cas licked down Dean’s spine, as much as he could, as he pushed two fingers into him. Dean let out a very unmanly squeak and nodded at Luke. “Ohh fuck... Luke, your brother is evil incarnate... Angel... stop... don't.. wanna.. drop you..”

Luke looked Dean over. “He tried to tell you that you didn’t think that through.”

Cas bit Dean’s back as he shifted his fingers to put pressure on his prostate. “Oh God, oh fuck, oh oh Angel I'm gonna…” Dean tightened his grip on Cas as he turned to lean on the couch. “FUUUCKKK…” Dean's whole body tensed and shook as he came.

Cas bit his lip. “...Oops.”

Luke shook his head. “Really, Castiel? I’m sure he was already embarrassed enough that I came back while he was riding you. You didn’t need to embarrass him further.”

Dean panted. “Help... gonna drop him…” Luke walked over and took his bratty brother from Dean.

“I wasn’t trying to make him cum again.”

Dean collapsed onto the couch to catch his breath. “Demon-child.” He laughed. Once his breathing evened out, he looked down at his crotch. “Ok, gotta go change again.” He pointed at Cas. “You stay. I'm starving and if you come up with me, I'll have to get payback.” Dean smirked, kissed Cas and ran up to change.

Cas furrowed his brow. “He’s not mad?” 

Luke dumped Cas onto the couch. “It doesn’t look like he is.”

Having cleaned up and changed into clean boxers and pajama pants, Dean came sauntering down the stairs and sat on the couch next to Cas and laced their fingers together. “So, Luke, dinner about ready?”

Luke smiled at them. “Almost.” He walked into the kitchen to give them privacy.

Cas looked down at their hands and swallowed hard. “You’re not mad at me?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah. I mean, if it were anyone but Luke, or possibly Gabe, I wouldn't have let it get past you smacking my ass.” He kissed Cas softly. “We're in the comfort and privacy of our own home and we were having fun. I'm sure if Luke had a problem with it, he would have either stopped us or left the room. If we're home, you can make me cum as much as you want. Just rehydrate me every now and then.” Dean laughed.

Cas stared at Dean for a moment, then wiped at his eyes. “I was afraid you’d be furious. Balth would have been.”

Dean kissed Cas and pulled him closer. “Eventually, I'll make you forget all about that asshole. I'm not him, Angel. Hearing you laugh like you were, fuck, that was a beautiful sound. I was thrilled that I could make you that happy and relaxed.”

Cas smiled and leaned against Dean. “I’ve never had this much fun with anyone before.”

“Shouldn't love be fun?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah.”

Dean licked up the side of Cas' face, smiled and ran off to the kitchen. “Ewww! Slobber!” Cas laughed and chased after Dean.

Dean ran to Luke, trying to use him as a human shield. “Protect me, Luke!”

Luke shook his head. “From what? Another orgasm?”

Cas laughed. “You do know I’m his favorite, right?”

“Dude?! Oldest brothers are supposed to stick together!” Dean laughed. Then he held his hands up in surrender. “Truce! Truce! I'm hungry, Sunshine.”

“Good. It’s ready.”

Cas smirked. “Give Dean extra asparagus!”

“Demon.”

Luke laughed. “You’ll like my asparagus.”

Cas smirked. “You will. It’s really good. Everything Luke makes is good.”

“Fine, I'll try it. But I make no promises on liking it.”

Cas pulled Dean over to the table and sat down. He smiled at Luke when he put plates in front of them, then sat down with them. “Thanks, Luke.”

“Yes, thank you, Luke. This looks delicious.”

“Ok, don't stand on ceremony, dig in, boys.”

Dean cut into his steak and took a bite. “Oh my God! This is fantastic. Why are you a lawyer and not a chef?” Dean looked over at Cas. “What's wrong, Angel? You're not eating.”

“Try it.”

“Hmm?”

Cas stabbed a piece of asparagus and held it to Dean. Dean sighed. “Ok, fine.” He leaned forward and took a bite of the asparagus. Dean expected it to taste like what Bobby served him, cold and covered in mayonnaise. This was absolutely amazing. “Wow. I mean.. wow!”

“What were you expecting it to taste like?”

“Bobby used to open a can of asparagus, drain it, dump some mayonnaise on it and serve it cold.”

Cas wrinkled his nose. “That sounds...disgusting. No wonder you hated it.” 

Luke shook his head. “Canned asparagus isn’t just disgusting. It’s dreadful.”

“You've got to teach me to make this. Sammy'll die!”

Luke smiled softly. “I’d be glad to teach you.”

Cas smiled as he took a bite of his steak and moaned at the flavor. Dean took a bite of his potatoes and they melted in his mouth. “Seriously, Luke, where did you learn to cook like this? It's fucking amazing.”

Cas glanced from Dean to Luke. Luke swallowed his bite. “A lot of trial and error, a very picky bumblebee, and home ec classes.”

Dean looked at Cas and smirked. “You were a picky eater, Sunshine?”

“You should have tried his early stuff. You’d be picky, too. It could have killed me.” 

Luke rolled his eyes. “But did you die?”

“I figured out about 50 ways to make Mac and cheese for Sammy. Marshmallow fluff is not recommended.”

“Sounds like you had to grow up too fast, too.”

Dean nodded as he chewed. “Mom died in a car wreck when I was in junior high, John, my dad, got lost in the bottle. I had to take care of Sam. I did pretty good, but Sam got sick and I couldn't get him medicine, so I had to call Bobby. He's an old friend of John's, and he took us in. He worked it out with child services. I still had to do a lot of the cooking because of things like the asparagus. There were a lot of fails. I think that's why Sam likes salad so much. It's hard to screw it up.”

Luke nodded. “That’s about the same time Mike and I had to grow up.”

“Mike sucked at it. His idea of dinner was Hawaiian Pizza. The asshole knew I couldn’t eat it.”

“Why couldn't you eat Hawaiian pizza?”

Cas glanced at Dean. “Oh. I never told you? I’m allergic to pineapple.”

“No, you didn't. That's good to know. I usually do a ham at Christmas. I'll have to leave the pineapple off from now on.”

Cas shrugged. “If it’s just for adding flavor, I’d be fine. If I eat pineapple, it gives me a really bad stomach ache, but it’s not going to kill me.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Just because it hasn’t yet, doesn’t mean it can’t.”

“I'm not risking it. People want pineapple, they can make their own ham. Need to try something new every now and then anyway, right?”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I’ve had ham with pineapple. I just didn’t get a piece that it touched. I was fine.”

Luke gave Cas a shocked look. “Was it something Mike served.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Mike's a douche.”

“Yeah he is. I still don’t understand how he got guardianship. I honestly thought they would have Cas live with me.” Cas chewed on his lip.

“Like I said, Mike's a douche. He probably pulled strings so he could keep control or something.”

“Probably. After everything that’s happened, I wish I’d done more to fight it.” Luke said with a sigh.

“Yeah, well, as much as I hate what Raph did to Cas, I'm glad he came here. If he'd gone to live with you, we'd never have met.”

“Oh. Right. Not everything that happened here was horrible, and you got him out of Mike’s house.” Cas pushed his food around on his plate.

“Angel? I know that look. What's wrong?” Luke looked at Cas. 

“Oh. So you  _ can _ still see me. I thought my cloak of invisibility started functioning properly.”

“Don't be like that, bumblebee.”

“Sorry, Angel.”

Cas shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

Luke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Castiel James, the world does not revolve around you. Dean and I are allowed to have a conversation. Just like you and I or you and Dean are allowed to converse. You are almost 18 years old. Pouting to manipulate the people who love you is unfair to them. I'm sure Dean will only put up with it for 40 or 50 years. Then what will you do?” Luke smiled and reached over to ruffle Cas' hair.

Cas shoved Luke’s hand away. “I’m not pouting because you two are talking without me being involved. I’m ecstatic that you like each other. I’m upset because you’re fucking talking about me like I’m not sitting right here!” Cas wiped away tears. “And yeah, I know, Dean probably won’t even put up with me for that long.” Cas got up and went into the living room.

Dean quickly followed Cas. “Angel, wait. You know I didn't mean anything bad by it. Mike is a douche and I'm glad you came here instead of Luke's.” Dean touched Cas' arm. “Hey, I don't consider what we have as putting up with each other. Those were Luke's words. We are learning how to be together. Just because it doesn't work for him does not mean it isn't what is right for us. I'm in this, with you, for the long haul. I love you, Castiel, my Angel.”

Cas sighed and wiped his eyes. “You’ve never done that. Everyone else talks about me like I’m not there, but you’ve never done that.”

“I know, Angel. I wish I could change that. I'm sure I do it to Sammy, too. It's probably an older brother thing.” Dean pulled Cas in for a hug. “Let's go back in there and make Luke feel guilty. You said something about buttermilk pie.”

Cas sighed and shook his head. “Luke’s right. I’m just being stupid.”

“You're not being stupid if you hurt because of what someone has said or done. We just gotta figure out how to deal with it better than just getting mad and running out. We'll get there, ok, Angel?”

“I'm eavesdropping, I know, I'll have someone punish me later. I'm sorry, bumblebee. You're right. Dean and I were talking about you, the attacks, Michael's bullshit and how I said DEAN got you out of that house. We didn't mean to hurt you.  _ I _ didn't mean to hurt you.”

Cas glanced from Dean to Luke and sighed. “It’s ok.”

“I'm gonna take you at your word, Sunshine.” Dean kissed his temple. Cas sighed and leaned against Dean. “Head hurting again?”

“It always hurts. It’s just a matter of how much.”

“Ok, do you need another pill or we can make a voodoo doll of Raph and put needles in his nuts. It won't help your head, but it might make you feel better anyway.”

“I’d feel better if he was the voodoo doll and I was able to do that to him.”

“I know, Angel.”

“Only I wouldn’t want regular needles. Maybe like knitting needles that have been sharpened.”

“Only if they're rusty and not too sharp. Wouldn't want them to go in too smoothly, little bee.”

“True.” Cas sighed sadly. “Can we stop talking about him, please?”

“Absolutely.... so, Angel, how else did Luke try to poison you?”

Cas shrugged. “I just remember us throwing away what he cooked and ordering pizza or eating cereal sometimes.”

Luke laughed. “That’s why I took home ec.”

Dean laughed. “We couldn't afford to toss all the fails. That's how I know that the marshmallow Mac and cheese is horrifying.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “Our lives were so similar, yet so different.”

Dean shivered. 'You and that spot, Angel.' Dean cleared his throat. “Yeah, we were bound to be together, huh, Sunshine?”

Cas smirked and kissed Dean’s neck again. “Yeah. I think we were.”

“Luke, your brother is insatiable.” Dean brought Cas' hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “I guess it's a good thing I can keep up, Angel.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s neck. “We keep up with each other.”

Luke shook his head. “Does this mean I’ll be hearing a lot of sex during my stay?”

Dean and Cas looked at Luke at the same time. “Yes.”

Luke laughed and shook his head. “It’s a good thing that doesn’t bother me.”

“We’re wanting to have a playroom. I told Dean you’d probably help us with that.”

“Yeah, after we get new furniture for the master bedroom, we plan to turn my old room into a playroom. I just can't have sex with Cas on my parent's old bed.” Dean licked and nibbled on Cas' ear. “Angel, we need to look at beds soon.”

Cas shuddered and nodded. “We do.”

“I can help you move things and set your new room up.”

Dean kissed Cas on the cheek. “Why don't you two talk about ideas for the playroom. I trust you. I'm gonna go get some pie.”

Cas looked at Luke. “So, I’m going to need something that’ll make his ass  _ really _ red.”

Luke bust out laughing. “I know the perfect whip for that.”

“I heard that!” Dean yelled from inside the kitchen.

Cas smirked. “I might need that whip.”

“I have one with me.”

Dean wandered back in the room and sat down, with his plate of pie. He had a slice of each kind. “Don't forget, we still have school to go to. I'm gonna need to be able to sit on hard plastic chairs all day.”

Cas shrugged. “I’ll use the salve on you.” Luke shook his head.

Dean fed Cas a bite of the caramel apple pie. “What kinds of things would you suggest for the playroom. I mean, a little pain is ok, but, I think we're more into restraints.”

Luke hummed. “There’s plenty of items I think you’d have fun with. Cas should already own a few.”

“I do.”

“Yeah. We sorted through most of his collection. Tossed some stuff we agreed we didn't want, right, Angel?”

“Yup. Try the buttermilk, Honeybee.”

Luke smiled. “Good. So you both agree on the type of play you want to do?”

Dean took a bite of the buttermilk pie and smiled. “This is kinda like Sugar Cream. Not quite as sweet though, which almost makes it better.” He fed a bite to Cas, then turned to Luke. “Yeah. We've talked about some stuff. Tried some others.” Dean winked at Cas.

Cas swallowed and smiled. “We’ve tried a lot. We both just want it to be for fun.”

Luke nodded. “You never were the type to want it as a lifestyle.”

“No, definitely not wanting to live the lifestyle. Just... special times.”

Luke nodded. “So when are you planning on shopping for your new bedroom?” Cas glanced at Dean.

Dean looked at Cas. “Well, we're at the shop on Fridays and Saturdays, Sundays too, if I get distracted. During the week, Bobby lets me know if he needs me. We could go tomorrow or the day after. After school, of course. If that works for you, Sunshine.”

Cas smiled. “Works for me.”

“If it’s ok, I’d like to pay for your new furniture.”

“Wow, Luke! That's... wow... I don't know what to say.” Dean swallowed hard. He wasn't used to people just giving him things. “I'm sorry, but I gotta ask, why?” Cas glanced at Luke then at Dean.

Luke smiled. “As a thank you for making him so happy. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard him laugh like he was earlier. And, the two of you don’t need to be worrying about large purchases like that.”

Dean smiled, nodded, and wiped his eyes. “Thanks.” Cas smiled and kissed Dean’s cheek as he wiped away his tears.

Luke smiled. “Not used to stuff like that, huh?”

Dean shook his head and cleared his throat. “It's that obvious?”

“Just a little. If it helps, you can think of me as a big brother. I’ll be there for you just as much as I’ve been there for Cas.” Dean nodded again, not sure what to say. He'd always been the big brother, until he had to take over as parent. Suddenly, he was told he got to be a little brother. Dean felt his smile grow and practically split his face in two.

Luke smiled and patted Dean’s knee, knowing the weight that had taken off of his shoulders. “I think I’m going to stay through the end of the year, if that’s ok. While I’m here, I want you two to try to be kids and let me take care of things.”

Cas smiled at Luke as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair and mouthed ‘Thank you.’

Dean leaned into Cas and hid his face in his neck. After a few moments, Dean sniffed and looked at Luke, head resting on Cas' shoulder. “Yeah, we'll get you a key so you aren't stuck here while we're at school or Bobby's. I can't leave the place unlocked, just in case John decides to come back.”

Cas gently played with Dean’s hair. “He’ll have my keys so he has a car to drive while he’s here.”

“I can get a rental if you need your car, Cas.”

Cas shook his head. “We go to school and work together. I think I can manage.”

“So, I realize that tonight was a bust for trying to go get your things from Mike's. Would you like me to take care of it while you are at school tomorrow, Cas?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Can you do it without anyone getting arrested?” He asked with a nervous laugh.

“You wound me, baby brother. I would never have your brothers arrested.” Luke winked and laughed.

“I know you wouldn’t have Gabe arrested, but I know you and Mike will get into it and I know you have your cattle prod with you. One of you will end up in handcuffs, and not in a fun way.”

“You might be right, but doesn't our dear brother have a job he should be at tomorrow? How about I call Gabe and make sure Mike is gone before I go over?”

“So you can go put nair in his shampoo or itching powder in his underwear?”

Luke's lip twitched as he fought the smile. “Fine, Bumblebee. After school tomorrow. What about your storage locker? Would you like me to empty that out for you?”

“You have a storage locker, Angel?”

Cas nodded. “You can get stuff from there.” He looked at Dean. “Yeah. I had too much clutter.”

“Your room at Mike's is pretty bare. Ugh! Mike pisses me off! He won't even let you have your stuff in your own room.” Dean stopped and took a calming breath. “Sorry, Angel. You can fill this house, our house, with anything you want.”

Cas laughed a little. “You won’t be saying that when you see all the awards and trophies I have. You will, however, want my Impala print on the wall. It’s a gorgeous piece of art.”

“If it's important to you, you should display it. This is your home now, little bee. I want you to make it feel like your home.” Dean curled up next to Cas and laid his head on Cas' shoulder. “Tell me about this Impala print, Angel.”

Cas laughed. “Of course you want to know about her.” He gently started playing with Dean’s hair. “A few years ago I was looking in one of my car magazines and they had pictures from a car show in it. The winner was a black ‘67 four door Impala. I fell in love with it. Luke got in contact with the photographer and got a huge canvas made. It’s five feet long. The photo is called Baby. That year for my birthday he got me my baby.”

“A black, 1967, 4-door Impala.... called Baby? Um, Cas? Angel?”

Cas glanced at Dean. “I know. It’s weird that they called theirs Baby, too.”

“OK, get dressed. I want to go get that tonight. Luke can get the rest tomorrow, but that is the one thing you mentioned, specifically, so I think it needs to be here tonight.”

Cas raised his eyebrow. “Um, ok.” Cas got up and headed up the stairs.

Luke grabbed Dean’s arm before he could follow. ‘It’s your car, isn’t it?’

Dean nodded and put his index finger to his lips in a shushing motion. He winked and ran up the stairs to change. Cas pulled his shirt over his head, then pulled on his pants. “You already know where you want to hang it?”

Dean smiled. “I have a couple ideas. The living room, right above the tv is my first choice, the bedroom is second. I guess we could put it in the playroom... an Impala is a downright sexy piece of machinery.”

Cas smiled. “I was thinking about getting a picture of our cars facing each other to put above our bed.”

“Ooh, that sounds like a great idea.”

“So maybe the living room. It’s a beautiful print of a beautiful car. It should be where everyone can see it.”

Dean pulled on his jeans, then sat on the bed to put on his socks. “Yeah, Angel, my thoughts exactly.”

Cas laughed and playfully shoved Dean. “You haven’t even seen it yet. How would you know?”

“A black '67 that was in a magazine? The picture has GOT to be amazing!”

“You’re right. It is. The first time you took me to your car I thought about that print.”

Dean stood up. “You ready, Sunshine?”

Cas nodded. “Yup. Let’s go rescue her from her box.”

They went downstairs and put on shoes and coats. “Luke, are you coming with us?”

“You’ll barely be able to fit the canvas in the backseat. You won’t have room for me and it.”

“Ok, we'll be back. Come on, Angel.”

Cas smiled and walked out to Baby with Dean. “So why’d you want to get it tonight?”

“Like I said, Angel. The print is the only thing you mentioned specifically, and you got this look in your eyes when you described it. Plus, it's an Impala!”

Cas laughed and shook his head. He gave Dean directions to his storage and got out when they parked outside it. Cas unlocked the door and opened it, glancing at Dean. “Go on, Angel. I'm not gonna judge. I expect you have pretty much your whole life, pre-Kansas, in here.”

Cas went inside the unit and grabbed the box with the canvas in it. “Is it going to fit in Baby?”

Dean eyed the box and nodded. “It'll be tight, but she'll fit.”

Cas smiled and slid the box out of the space it was in. “I can’t wait for you to see it. You’ll love it as much as I do.”

“I'm sure I will.” Dean helped Cas carry the box to the car and position it in the backseat.

Cas carefully closed the door, then locked the unit and got in the car. “Are you really ok with all those boxes being in the house?”

Dean pulled Cas close to him on the bench seat and kissed him softly. “Of course I am. You need to have the freedom to express yourself in your own home.”

Cas gently ran his fingers over Dean’s lips. “I have a lot of awards and a ton of books.”

“I have trophies too and Sammy will love more books.”

“But where will we put them?”

“The bedroom has plenty of space for shelves. Plus, we have the guest room and the living room. Sammy would probably insist on some of the books being in his room.”

“So we’ll need to buy shelves.”

“I could build some too.”

Cas glanced at Dean. “You know how to do that?”

Dean smiled at Cas as he started the engine and drove toward home. “Yeah, Angel. Remember, you brain, me brawn.”

Cas frowned a little. “That’s implying that you’re not smart.”

“I'm.... I'm not booksmart like you and Sammy. My knowledge is more.. applied. I know engines, construction, repairs on pretty much anything, except computers.”

“You make good grades though, so you aren’t stupid.”

“Yeah, I make good grades in the classes I take, but I don't take the high level classes that you do.”

Cas laughed a little. “Really? That’s what you’re basing your intelligence off of? A lot of people can’t handle AP classes. Sometimes I can barely handle them.”

“Angel, I'm not saying that I'm dumb. If intelligence were based on whether you could rebuild an engine, Sam would be the dumbest kid on the planet. All I am saying is you, my little Sunshiny Angel-bee, have the booksmarts and I, your smokin' hot fiancé, can build you a library to put all those books in. And that ain't a bad thing.”

“I just don’t like when you put yourself down like that and make it sound like you’re stupid.”

“I wasn't putting myself down, Angel. I'm proud of what I can do with my hands. I can look at an engine, listen to the sounds it makes and fix what's wrong. I can take random bits of wood and metal and turn it into something beautiful and functional. I can look at a set of blueprints and easily figure out how to build the item. Those are skills that most people don't have.” Dean parked in front of the house. “Did you know that I have been the team leader on five houses built in Lawrence for Habitat for Humanity? I'm 17!”

Cas looked at Dean with wide eyes. “That’s amazing! Why didn't you tell me that before?”

Dean shrugged. “It feels like I'm bragging. I don't want people who can't do those things to feel bad.”

“That shouldn’t make anyone feel bad. I mean I can’t even hammer a nail and I’m in awe that you were chosen to do that not just once, but  _ five _ times! You should be proud of that!”

“I'll work on that. Now, let's get this bad boy inside. I want to see it!” Cas grinned and jumped out of the car, opened the back door and carefully pulled the box out.

Luke opened the door as they walked up to the house, carrying the boxed print. “I hope you don't mind, Dean, but I went to the garage to get a pry bar to open the crate.”

Cas grinned. “He doesn’t mind. Do you, babe?” He helped Dean get the box into the living room. “He wants it over the tv.”

Luke glanced at the tv. “You don’t want a big screen on that wall?”

“I... uh... breathe, Winchester.... not tonight. Tonight, I want to hang this print.”

“So big screen tomorrow night?” 

Cas took the pry bar from Luke and started trying to open the crate in the wrong place. “Careful, Angel. You don't want to damage the picture. Put the pry bar here, see?” Dean taught Cas the proper way to open the crate. “Perfect.”

Cas kissed Dean quickly, then pulled the canvas out with the image facing Dean. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Dean nodded, a wide smile gracing his features. “Absolutely stunning.” He crouched down to look closely at the canvas. 'Hey, girl.' Dean stood and wiped his eyes. “She's beautiful, Angel. Let's get her hung up.”

Cas watched Dean closely. “You ok?”

“Yeah... just... here…” Dean took the canvas and leaned it up against the front of the tv. “When was the last time you really looked at this?”

Cas furrowed his brow. “Ummm. When I had to pack it up last March so it could get shipped here.”

“Take a close look, Angel.”

Cas looked the canvas over. “Did it get damaged while they were moving it? They promised the box would protect it.”

“No, there's no damage. Here, look at the license plate. Kansas KAZ 2Y5.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “Do you know the owner?” Luke shook his head to keep from laughing.

“Sunshine, look at the driver's seat.”

Cas glanced at Dean, then looked at the person behind the wheel. He squinted his eyes and tilted his head, then gasped. “No...no way. That’s  _ you _ ?! That’s  _ your _ Baby?”

Dean smiled. “Surprise! Yes, Angel. She was damn near totalled in the wreck that killed Mom. I was determined to fix her up. Bobby let me use the garage and anything I needed. He was so proud of the work I did restoring her, that he entered her in the car show. She won and got her picture in that magazine. That's also how I became known as an Impala expert. I couldn't even drive her yet, but everyone wanted me to repair and restore their cars.”

Cas blinked back tears, then wiped them away when that didn’t stop them from falling. “I’ve been looking at your face for almost three years. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you or her.” He wiped at his eyes some more. “I think I kinda did though. When you asked me to tutor you, I was afraid it was some trick and Raph was behind it. But, I don’t know, something made me feel like I already knew you and that you wouldn’t do that.”

Dean pulled Cas into his arms. “Remember you said that when you first saw her, she made you think of the picture? Now you know why.” He kissed Cas softly. “I hope you know by now that I would never hurt you like Raph.”

Cas laughed a little. “I’ve known that for a long time, Dean.” He sighed and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder as he looked at the print. “Why don’t you have this hanging up somewhere already?”

“Hang on.” Dean let go of Cas, ran upstairs and got the magazine from his desk drawer and took it back downstairs. “This is all I had.”

Cas ran his fingers over the cover. “This is the one I saw the picture in, but why didn’t you see if you could get a print?”

“Honestly, I was just so thrilled that she was in a magazine, that I didn't think about getting a print. Besides, I have the real deal out in the driveway.”

Cas smirked slightly. “Oh, so you don’t need this in our house?”

Dean grabbed Cas' hips and pulled him close. “Angel, don't you dare get rid of this picture! I love that my Baby filled you with so much joy that you  _ had _ to get her on canvas.”

Cas leaned in closer, running his tongue up the shell of Dean’s ear. “And I love that you fill me with joy on her backseat.”

“That fills me with joy too, Angel.”

“Please tell me that seat was wiped down before I sat on it.” Cas snorted and laughed into Dean’s neck.

“I take very good care of Baby.”

“Good.” Luke glanced around the room. “Any surfaces in the house that I should avoid?”

Cas grinned and nipped at Dean’s neck. Dean rolled his eyes. “You say that like this place isn't spotless.” He laughed, then nibbled on Cas' ear.

“Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.”

Cas gasped and ran his tongue over Dean’s hickey. Dean shivered. “You don't trust us, have at it. Cleaning supplies are under the kitchen sink. We're going upstairs.” Dean winked at Luke. “You know, school in the morning.”

Luke shook his head. “How do you make it through a school day without jumping each other?” 

Cas ran his tongue over the hickey some more, then sucked on it making Dean moan. “It's difficult. We don't have any classes together. Thank God for lunch and the janitor's closet.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s neck. “And the bathrooms, locker room, shower stalls, and Baby.”

“Really?”

“We don't hit each one in a day and it's not like we have time to get off between classes.”

“That’s good to know.” 

Cas smiled. “Some days we only get stolen kisses at our lockers.” 

Luke nodded. “Just don’t let your grades get affected by you being together, either of you. I’ll start requesting copies if I have to.”

“Cas always makes sure I study. That's how we met. I needed help catching up after being injured.”

Luke looked at Dean. “Injured?” Cas sighed.

“Uh, yeah, on the anniversary of Mom's death, John gets really hammered and takes her death out on me and this past year he put me in the hospital with some spinal damage. I was in a back brace most of the summer and into the start of the school year.”

“I see. Is this the only time he shows up and when is this? I want to either be here to keep something like that from happening again, or I want the two of you to come visit me.” Cas glanced at Dean.

“Unfortunately, no. That's why I can't leave the house unlocked. I just changed the locks so he can't just walk in.”

Luke sighed. “Is it safe for you to live here?”

“I.. I guess. I mean, every time he's hurt me, I was alone. I'm not alone anymore.”

Luke gently put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “He won’t touch either of you while I’m here. You don’t need to sleep with one eye open.” Cas smiled at his brother.

Dean nodded. “My biggest fear is that he'll come over when I'm not here and he'll try and hurt Cas. H-he doesn't know I'm gay. He doesn't know about Cas.”

Luke sighed and pulled Dean in for a hug. “I won’t let him hurt Cas or you. I’ll stay as long as you need me to.” Cas swallowed hard and wiped his eyes.

Dean held Luke tight and hid his face in Luke's shoulder. 'Thanks.’ Dean said, slightly muffled by Luke’s shoulder.

Luke rubbed Dean’s back as he hugged him close. “Need me to move in? I will. Or I’ll at least buy the place next door so we all have our privacy.” He said half joking.

Dean laughed and pulled back slightly. “Mrs. Shepherd has mentioned wanting to move to Florida or Arizona, now that her husband has passed.”

“Then maybe I should talk to her about buying the place.”

“Not that I don't want my favorite brother close by, but what about your job? Your friends?”

Luke shrugged. “I can get with a practice here. Maybe go head to head with Mike a few times.”

Dean let go of Luke and settled back into Cas' embrace. “What do you think, Angel?”

“Uh. I think we’re going to get a new neighbor.”

“Wait, what? You're serious?”

Luke nodded. “If having me nearby makes you feel safer and allows you to not have to worry, then I’ll move down here.”

“I can't ask you to do that. You can't just uproot your whole life like that.... can you?”

“Cas just did and he wasn’t given a choice.” Luke sighed and ran his hand down his face. “I came here prepared to fight Mike for custody and take Cas home with me. I’d been told he was spending a lot of time with a new boyfriend and had just been put in the hospital. I’m sure you can guess what I assumed.”

“You thought his new boyfriend was an abusive asshole.”

Luke put up his hand to silence Cas when he started to protest. “And I thought Mike was allowing it to happen. Within five minutes of meeting you I saw how wrong I was about  _ you _ . I still feel Mike could have done more to keep Cas safe. I want to do more to keep both of you safe.”

“Yeah, Mike's a douche.”

Luke laughed a little. “Yeah. He’s been one since he was born. I came out with the cord around my neck and he’d been holding it. Anyhow, would you feel safer with me closer?” Cas glanced at Dean as he laced their fingers together.

“I dunno. I guess... I've never really felt safe, so I don't know what that would be like.” Dean looked at Cas. “It's up to you, Angel. Do you want Luke closer?”

“Of course I want him closer. I’d just hate for him to leave everything behind for me.” 

“Then I’ll talk to Mrs. Shepherd and see if she’s willing to sell.”

Dean's head was spinning. “I don't even have words right now.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Think of him as you, and me as Sam. What would you do in this situation? You’d be there for Sam and his girlfriend to keep them safe, right?”

“Of course. No question.” He responded quickly. “Hell, I don't think I'd even give Sammy a choice.”

“Well, now you’re Luke’s little brother, too. So with him, you’re Sam and he’s you.”

“Oh crap. I'm not ready to be a little brother.” Dean laughed, remembering the ways he would torment Sam.

“Afraid he’ll give you wedgies?”

“And noogies.”

Luke laughed. “Cas is more likely to give those.”

Dean laughed. “Ok, Mrs. S is the house to the left. Tell her Dean sent ya.”

Luke nodded. “Will do. Now you two go get ready for bed.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dad.”

Dean snickered. “Night, Luke. Thanks.”

Luke playfully swatted at Cas’ ass. “Don’t sass me young man.” Cas laughed and ducked behind Dean. “Oh. Uh, what room am I in?”

“For now, you can use Sam's. Once we get stuff rearranged, we'll have a guest room.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him toward the stairs. “Come on, Babe.”

“After you, little bee.”

Cas pulled Dean’s hand, leading him up the stairs to their room. He smiled and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “What do you think about him moving here?”

“Sweetheart, if Luke being here makes you happy, I am all for it. It will just take some getting used to. The past few years, it's just been me, Sammy and Bobby, and they ain't around all the time.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “It didn’t take long for you to get used to me being here.”

“That was easy, Angel. You were the part of me that I was missing. I know it's a cheesy line, but you complete me.”

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and laid his head on his shoulder. “I think you’ll get used to him, too. You’ll definitely get used to his cooking.”

“If it's all as good as tonight's dinner, yeah, I can get used to that real easy. Think he'll teach me?”

“Yup. How do you think I learned to make that spaghetti sauce you loved?”

Dean stripped out of his clothes, changed into clean boxers and headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth. “I do love that sauce.”

Cas stripped naked and followed Dean into the bathroom. “I know you do.”

They finished in the bathroom and went back to the bedroom. Dean climbed into bed. “So, you're saying that I won't have to worry about what to make for dinner for awhile?”

Cas snuggled against Dean. “You won’t have to worry about any meals. He used to make me lunches for school and had breakfast on the table when I got up.”

Dean kissed the top of Cas' head. “Mmmm, breakfast. Wonder if he'll make something tomorrow.”

Cas smiled and snuggled closer. “You didn’t notice just how much food is in the kitchen did you?”

“No, not really. I was a little distracted by having just cum in front of your brother.” He laughed. “When do we go get your stitches out, Angel? Do you need a pill before we fall asleep?”

Cas laughed a little. “Umm. Stitches stay in for 10 days. I’m ok right now, but I know if I don’t take one you’ll never fall asleep.”

“I know you don't like them. Compromise... take half of one. Then, if you wake up in pain in the night, you can take the other half.”

“Ok. If I had to guess, I’d say Luke probably spent between $400-$500 on groceries today.”

“Oh, wow. That... that's a lot!” Dean grabbed the pill bottle, shook one out and broke it in half, handing one half to Cas.

Cas took the pill, then snuggled back into Dean. “Yeah, but there’s three of us eating and he probably fully stocked the pantry, fridge, and freezer.”

Dean nodded and caressed Cas' back. “We should sleep, Angel. See what tomorrow brings.”

“School and boxes and new furniture.”

Dean chuckled. “I love you, Castiel, my Angel.”

“Love you too.” Cas yawned and snuggled closer. “Dean? Did you sell a dark blue Impala a few years ago?”

“Yeah. She was in rough shape when I found her. Did a full restoration, then put her up for sale. Never met the buyer in person though.”

Cas hummed. “She’s light blue now. She found her way home.”

“Why did you repaint her? Not that I mind, she's beautiful, I'm just curious.”

“Got in a wreck and had work done. They were gonna have to paint her anyway so I picked that shimmery blue. That’s why she needed work when we met. They didn’t do a good job.”

“She matches your eyes.”

Cas laughed a little. “That’s what everyone says.”

“You know I'm gonna have to get her back in the shop, right? Before, I got her up and running. Now that I know she was one of my restorations, I gotta make sure she's perfect.”

Cas nodded. “I know. I almost regret painting her since it was you that made her that dark blue. It feels like I ruined something you worked hard on.”

“Don't worry about that, Angel. I only painted her dark blue because I had to repaint a front fender on another car and there was enough leftover to do the whole paint job on her. I didn't have enough leftover of any other color. I think her original color was Butternut yellow.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “So she was originally yellow like a bee?”

“No, nothing so pretty as a bee, more pale, like butter.”

Cas snuggled into Dean and kissed his neck. “Oh.”

“Do you want to repaint her again? I could do that for you, little bee.”

“Probably needs it. She’s got a scratch on her back panel.”

“Ok, we'll get some color charts out the next time we're at the shop. You can pick whatever colors you want.” Dean yawned, tired from the day. “Goodnight, my love.”

Cas yawned. “Night, Honeybee.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns a little about bondage

Cas shifted and snuggled against Dean as he inhaled deeply, taking in the wonderful scent of breakfast cooking in the kitchen.

Dean was awoken by Cas' movement and the rumbling of his own stomach.

“Good morning. Did I wake you?”

“Good morning, Angel. Yeah, you and that smell. Is that bacon?”

Cas kissed Dean’s chest. “Mmmmhmmm.”

“That's wonderful. Almost as wonderful as you.”

Cas laughed a little. “So, bacon is a close second to me?”

“But a very important distinction.” Dean laughed.

Cas laughed and moved so he was straddling Dean. He ran his hands over Dean’s chest, then leaned over and kissed him. Dean pulled Cas close during their kiss, then rolled so he was on top.

Cas licked into Dean’s mouth and tangled his fingers in his hair, as he wrapped his legs around his waist. Dean reached between their bodies, shoving his boxers down slightly. He grasped both of their cocks in his hand and slowly stroked them. Cas moaned into the kiss. He scratched at Dean’s scalp, as he rocked his hips into his touch.

“Mmm, that's so good, Angel.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s lips, as he scratched his scalp harder. “You like that?”

Dean moaned and sped up his hand. “Fuck, yeah. Love that. Love you.”

Cas scratched harder, then yanked on Dean’s hair, exposing his neck. He licked his way to the hickey and sucked next to it. Dean's breath hitched at being manhandled by Cas. He continued to stroke their cocks, as he started to meet Cas' thrusts with his own. “Oh, fuck. Angel. Just like that.”

Cas tugged Dean’s hair harder, as he bit his neck. He scratched at Dean’s back with the other hand, leaving red welts behind. Dean whined, “Close. With me?”

Cas bit Dean’s earlobe, “Always.” He thrust into Dean’s hand harder, the hand in his hair tightening its hold, as his nails dug into Dean’s back. He cried out into Dean’s neck, as his orgasm tore through him.

Dean cried out at the pleasure/pain. He felt Cas' cock twitch when his orgasm began and thrust again, as his own orgasm hit. Dean stroked them through the climax and aftershocks, milking the last drop of cum from them both. “I love you, Sunshine.”

Cas pulled Dean’s forehead to his own, as he panted. “I love you, too.” 

“All right, you two, get cleaned up and down here for breakfast. Don’t make me come up there.” Luke called up the stairs.

“Would he really come up here? Do we need to worry about taking too long?”

Cas laughed a little. “Yeah he would. Give us a few minutes!”

“Don’t take too long. It’ll get cold.”

Dean brought his hand to his mouth and licked at the cum covering it. Cas licked some cum off of Dean’s hand. “Watching you do that is so fucking hot.”

Dean winked. “Why do you think I do it, little bee?”

“Because you know how hot it is when I do it.”

“Exactly.” He licked up some more of their cum, held it in his mouth, then shoved his tongue past Cas' lips. Cas moaned and sucked on Dean’s tongue, as he tangled his fingers in his hair. Dean's stomach growled again, making him pull back and laugh. “Maybe we should get dressed and check out what Luke made for breakfast.”

Cas smiled. “Maybe.”

“I’m not hearing any movement. Don’t think I won’t drag your cum covered, naked asses down to this table.”

“Yeah, yeah, we're working on it!”

Cas snickered. “I can’t move with him on top of me!” Dean rolled off of Cas, took his boxers the rest of the way off and used them to wipe up any remaining cum.

Cas gave Dean a quick kiss, then got off the bed and went over to the dresser. He pulled a pair of boxers out and tossed them to Dean before grabbing some for himself and putting them on. “I hate to cover you up, but I’m pretty sure the school doesn’t want to see you naked.”

“I feel the same way, Angel.” Dean slid the boxers on and crossed the room to grab jeans for the both of them. He tossed a pair to Cas and pulled his pair on.

Cas pulled the jeans on. “Actually, most of the school probably does want to see you naked. They don’t want to see me.”

“Oh, Angel, if they could see you the way I do, the sweet, smart, kind, loving, funny, strong, gorgeous man in front of me, they'd be begging to see you naked.” Dean kissed Cas softly. “And then I'd have to kill them all.” He laughed.

Cas ran his hand over Dean’s chest. “I might let them look, so they know what they’re missing.”

“As long as the only one to touch me is you, and the only one to touch you is me, I'll do whatever you want, Angel.”

Cas laughed. “You would not walk around the school naked. Bobby and Jody would kill you.”

Dean laughed too. “Yeah, you're probably right. I guess we'll just have to wear clothes and undress each other with our eyes.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Or in one of our hiding spots.”

“Do I need to come up there?”

Dean smiled at Cas and opened the door. “Janitor's closet?” He winked. “On our way, mister impatient!”

“You’re not too old for me to throw over my knees, young man.” 

“Is anyone too old for that?” Cas asked with a laugh.

Dean grabbed Cas by the hand and headed downstairs. When they walked into the kitchen, he smiled at Luke. “What's for breakfast, Dad?” Cas glanced at Dean.

Luke motioned to the food. “We have some strawberry and cream crepes, breakfast quiche, and some bacon.”

“Oh wow! I could get used to this. Thanks, Luke!” Dean sat down and filled his plate with food. “Come on, Angel. Dig in.” Cas sat beside Dean and put food on his plate.

Luke smiled. “You’re welcome. Are you buying lunch at school or would you like to take something with you?”

Dean moaned around the bite of crepes, chewed and swallowed. “This is delicious.” He looked at Cas. “I hadn't thought about lunch. What do you suggest, Sunshine?”

Cas shrugged and took a bite. “It’ll be leftovers from last night.” Luke ate a bite of his food and smiled at Dean’s compliment.

Dean's eyes lit up at the thought of the leftovers. “Dude, that would be fantastic.”

Cas laughed. “I knew you’d like that.” 

“I can bag things up for you. Do you have a lunch box?”

Dean shrugged. “I've got a small cooler.”

“Big enough for both of you to take food?”

“Um, yeah. I mean, it holds 8 soda cans.”

Luke smiled. “Perfect. What do you think of the quiche?”

“It's just how I remember them.” Cas said as he finished his piece off.

“The egg pie thing? It's great!” Cas shook his head as he started on his crepe.

Luke laughed. “Yes. The ‘egg pie thing’.”

“Sorry, I'm not used to fancy foods. I see egg pie, super-thin pancakes with strawberries and cream and bacon. Whatever you call all this stuff, I'm sure that I've died and gone to heaven.” He leaned towards Luke, 'See, there's an angel right there.' He pointed at Castiel.

Luke laughed. “You do know that I’m technically an angel, too, right?” Cas made a face at Dean.

“Proves my point.”

Luke shook his head. “I’m not sure that becoming a member of our dysfunctional family would be considered heaven.” 

“Nope.”

“I'm not talking about Mike.... maybe Gabe... I just mean you two.”

Cas glanced at Dean. “You don’t like Gabe? Luke raised his eyebrow.

“I do, but sometimes I think he'd... I dunno... eat worms or something, if Mike told him to. Sure, he's cocky and his pies are terrific.... I dunno.”

Luke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please tell me Mike hasn’t been going all Dom on you and Gabe again.”

Cas chewed on his lip and messed with his napkin. Dean rested his hand on top of Cas'. “It's ok, Angel. Gabe is your guardian now and Luke is here to help. You can tell him.” Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean.

“Tell me what? Cas? What happened?”

“Want me to tell him?” 'I can just give the basics if you want.'

Cas sighed and threw his hands in the air. “You might as well.” Luke looked at both of them.

“I'm sorry. I overstepped again. Just, Mike pisses me off. I know he cares about you, but yes, he went all Dom on you. I'm guessing Gabe too, but I don't know for sure.” Dean looked at Luke and sighed. “I shouldn't have said anything and, basically, outed Cas. But, we were at Mike's and it was a great day. Cas started using his voice again. Then, Bobby called and I had to go to work. Mike gave Cas an order, threatened him with the flogger and then, when we got to Bobby's, I unintentionally continued the orders. Cas spiralled. Gabe helped me get him back, then got the guardianship transferred to him. Now, we're here. I'm sorry, Angel.”

Luke looked from Dean to Cas. “He threatened you with a flogger or he used one on you?” 

Cas didn’t look at either of them. He glanced at his wrist as though it had a watch on it. “Oh, look at the time. I need to get to school.” He said, as he started to get up.

“Sit!” Cas jumped and immediately sat back down.

“I don't know. Around me, he only threatened.”

Luke glanced at Dean, then looked at Cas. “Castiel James?” 

Cas looked down at his napkin in silence. “Why does everyone keep making me talk about things I don't want to talk about?”

“I realize you don’t want to talk about this, but I need to know what our brother did to you.”

Cas crumpled up the napkin in his hands. “He flogged me until my ass was raw, ok. Happy now?”

“I'm sorry, Cas. I shouldn't have said anything.”

Luke set his jaw as he took deep breaths. “He what?”

“So, what else should I tell him? Should I tell him about how Raph touched me or Balth hurt me?”

Dean sat there, staring at his hands. 'I didn't... I'm so sorry.'

Luke stared at Cas, then glanced at Dean. Cas got up and paced as he pulled at his hair, not caring about the pain it was causing his stitches. “I need to…”

'Please don't.' A tear fell from Dean's eye.

Cas took a shaky breath. “I need you.”

“Tell me how, Angel.”

Cas scratched at his arm. “I... hard.”

Dean nodded and stood. “Luke, can you call the school and tell them... whatever. I don't think we'll be there today.” He laced his fingers with Cas' and walked towards the stairs. “I'll take care of you, Angel.”

Luke sighed. “Yeah.”

Cas held Dean’s hand with both of his as he followed him up the stairs. When they got to the privacy of their room, Dean closed the door and started stripping out of his clothes. “How do you want this? I know hard, but face to face, bent over the bed, do I need the ropes?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Ropes.”

Dean nodded and went to the drawer with the ropes. “Take off your clothes and get on the bed, Angel. Get in whatever position you need. Do you want the blindfold or the cock ring?”

Cas started stripping. “Use me. Please? Anything you want, just hard.”

Dean set the ropes, blindfold and cock ring on the bed and went to Cas. “I promise, I'll take care of you, Cas.” He grabbed the back of Cas' neck and pulled him in for a rough kiss. “On the bed.”

Cas quickly got on the bed, eyed the items, and then glanced at Dean. Dean picked up the rope and dragged it along Cas' thigh, across his hip, up his side, to his wrist. He gently raised Cas' wrist to his lips and kissed the tender underside, before looping the rope around it and securing the other end to the headboard.

Cas shivered as the rope ran up his body, then watched as Dean secured his arm to the bed. “Do...Do you want to learn other ways to tie me up?”

“Do you need a different way right now or do you want to wait until you're in a better mood, Angel? You tell me and I'll give you what you need.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “I don’t know.”

“That's ok, Angel. I'll do what I can and you tell me if you need more, ok?”

Cas nodded. “I...If you need help you can ask Luke.”

Dean tied Cas' other wrist to the headboard. “Blindfold?”

Cas looked from one wrist to the other and whimpered. ‘Yeah.’

Dean wrapped the cloth around Cas' head, covering his eyes, but careful of the stitches. Once secured, he leaned down and nipped at Cas' throat. “Is that good or do you need more, Angel?” Cas chewed on his lip. “Cas, Angel, I asked you a question.”

Cas tugged on the ropes and squirmed as he whimpered. ‘Not enough.’

Dean kissed Cas on the cheek. 'OK, little bee, I'll be right back.' He shrugged on his robe and went down to get Luke's help. “Hey, Luke. Umm.... I, uh, I need your help.”

Luke looked at Dean and raised his eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Cas... He needs, um, more.” Dean took a deep breath. “You heard him say he needed me... hard. He wants me to be rough, to "use" him. He wants the ropes, but all I know how to do is tie his wrists to the headboard. He's also blindfolded. But he said he needs more and I don't know what to do. I know you do, so... can you help me? Help us?”

Luke put his newspaper down and smiled. “Of course I’ll help. When we have free time, I'll show both of you how to do more.” He said as he got up.

They went up to the bedroom and Dean ran his hand along Cas' hip. “I'm back, Angel. Luke's gonna help us.”

Cas nodded. “Ok.”

Luke glanced at Dean. “First things first, you should never leave him bound if you leave the room. You especially don’t want to leave his hands bound if he’s gagged. You never know when something could happen. He could be in pain or an electrical fire could start in the room and he’d have no way to tell you. If you have to leave him bound, I suggest a hand held alarm so he can press it and alert you.”

“Ok. Sorry. I'm new at this.”

Luke nodded. “I know. That’s why I’m just informing you and not jumping on you about it. If something was wrong, I know he would have yelled and we both would have heard it.” He touched Cas’ shoulder. “What are you needing, Cas? How do you want him to bind you?”

Cas swallowed hard. “I want him to tie me up tight.”

“Do you want your hands at your lower back or behind your head?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “My head.”

“I only have the two ropes. Do you have more or will these be enough?”

“Go ahead and untie him. I’ll go get some ropes.” Luke said before leaving the room.

Dean nodded and untied Cas' arms. He slid the blindfold up enough to look in his eyes. He rubbed Cas' wrists to bring back the circulation. “I'm sorry I left you bound and alone. I'm learning. Luke said he'd teach both of us more, later. I love you, Angel.”

Cas leaned forward and kissed Dean. “It’s ok. We’re both learning.”

Luke walked back into the room with some cotton ropes. “We’ll get you some of these. They’re soft against the skin.” He handed the rope to Dean. “I think you two will enjoy that kind more.”

Dean slid the rope through his fingers. “Yeah, those feel a lot nicer. Feel, Angel.” He held the rope out to Cas.

Cas ran his fingers over the rope. “This one’s nice.”

Luke looked at Dean. “Have him get on his knees and hold his arms above his head.”

“High above or behind his head?”

“Whatever is comfortable. You’re making the harness around his chest so you just need his arms out of the way, unless you want to just work around them.”

“Ok, Angel. Up on you knees. Need you to put your arms up, probably lace your fingers behind your head, ok?” Cas moved onto his knees and laced his fingers behind his head.

Luke took the second rope and gave Dean instructions on what to do to create the harness on Cas, by creating it on himself. “Make sure you can slip at least two fingers between the rope and his skin before we lock everything in place.”

Dean watched Luke and tried to recreate what he had done. “How's that?”

Luke looked at the harness from all angles. “Looks good. Nothing feels too tight when you check with your fingers?”

“Nah, feels good. Tight, but not overly.”

Luke checked with his fingers and nodded. “You can always go a little looser, but never go tighter than that.” He pulled all the rope off himself and made the harness on a pillow, then showed Dean how to lock everything in place and watched as Dean followed the instructions. “Now, he needs to hold his arms like this.” Luke said, as he held his arms, so his elbows pointed up and his wrists were together behind his head.

Dean nodded. “Normally, do you ask them to move into position or do you just move them yourself?”

“It depends on the Dom and sub. I realize you two don’t have that dynamic, but currently, you are acting as a Dom. If he wants you to manhandle him or you want to manhandle him, then do it. If you want him to be submissive and follow direction, then give him directions.”

“So, basically, whatever we feel comfortable with. Got it.” Dean turned to Cas. “Ok, Angel, drop your arms for a second and shake them out for me.” Cas lowered his arms and shook them to let the blood flow properly. “Good job, Sunshine. Ok, now, put your arms up, like this.” He showed Cas how he wanted his arms and Cas mirrored him. Dean reached out and made an adjustment to the position. “Perfect.” Cas smiled a little at Dean.

Luke watched them, then told Dean how to bind Cas’ arms and wrists, then had him secure them to the harness. He glanced at Dean once he was done. “Make sure he’s comfortable and nothing is causing him any pain or cutting off circulation.”

“Hey, little bee. How's that feel? Anything hurting you or too tight? Wiggle your fingers for me.”

Cas wiggled his fingers. “It feels fine. Nothing hurts.”

Luke nodded. “Go ahead and grab different spots and tug on them. You’re making sure movement won’t cause pain and that everything is secure.” Dean did as he was told, then looked at Luke. “Cas? You said you want to be completely bound. Do you mean your legs, too?”

Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. “I squeeze him too tight with my legs when my arms are tied.”

Luke nodded and looked at Dean. “Help him lay back on the bed.”

Dean smiled. “You have wonderfully strong legs from all that soccer, Angel. Ok, let's lay you back. There, comfortable?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah.”

Luke handed Dean another length of rope, then sat on the bed with his leg bent and showed him how to properly bind his leg. “Go ahead.”

Dean rubbed Cas' leg gently, then bound it with the rope, like Luke demonstrated. “Now, the other one, right?”

Luke nodded. “Right.”

Dean repeated the knots on Cas' other leg, then checked both and asked Cas if it felt alright. “You look amazing like this, Sunshine.” Cas blushed and tried to hide his face.

“Last thing. Do you have a knife in here?”

Dean nodded and grabbed his Swiss Army knife from his desk drawer. “Will this do? What's it for?”

Luke took the knife and folded over an end of the spare rope and tried to cut it. It took awhile, but it finally got through. “We’ll have to get you a better knife. You always want to have a knife nearby, just in case there’s a problem and you can’t take the time to undo all the knots. You saw how your knife did?” Dean nodded and watched as Luke pulled out his own knife and sliced through the rope easily. “That’s what it needs to be able to do.”

“Can I borrow your knife, just for now? I don't want to take any chances with Cas.”

Luke put the knife on the side table. “I wasn’t leaving this room without leaving it with you. I’m not taking chances either. We’ll get more into all the safety stuff when you’re not in the middle of fucking my brother. If anything happens, yell for me. I’ll just be downstairs.” He patted Dean on the shoulder. “Good job. Have fun.”

Dean blushed from both the praise and being reminded that Luke knew they were going to have sex when he left the room. “Thanks Luke.”

“You’re welcome.” Luke left the room, closing the door behind him.

Cas chewed on his lip and squirmed. Dean looked at Cas, admiring the beauty before him. 'Fucking gorgeous.' “Angel, do you want the cock ring? The blindfold?”

Cas swallowed hard and nodded. “You can take pictures, if you’d like.”

Dean nodded and quickly grabbed his phone, opening the camera and snapping a few shots. “I'll have to get a better camera for next time, Angel.” He stroked Cas' cock and placed the ring at the base. “Hey. Remember the stoplights? What's your color?”

Cas moaned and bucked his hips as much as he could. “Green.”

“Perfect.” Dean placed the blindfold over Cas' eyes. “Remember, Poughkeepsie stops everything and I'll cut the ropes.” Dean took a few more pictures, from different angles. He grabbed the lube and spread some on his fingers. Dean rubbed his fingers against Cas' hole, before dipping the tip of one inside. Cas gasped and tried to push back against Dean’s finger.

Dean pulled his hand away. “Relax, Angel.” When Cas relaxed a bit, Dean pushed one finger in quickly.

Cas gasped and moaned. “Fuck…”

Dean pulled his finger out and added more lube. He pushed two fingers in and began thrusting them roughly. Then, Dean curled his fingers, seeking Cas' prostate. When he found it, he tapped it, repeatedly. “Talk to me, Angel. How do you feel?”

Cas panted and squirmed as much as he could. “Fuck! Ohhhh... Dean! It feels so fucking good!”

Dean took off his robe, grabbed his phone again and took a photo of his fingers buried in Cas' ass, then pulled them out. Cas whined at the loss of contact. “I've got you, Sunshine. What's your color?”

Cas swallowed hard. “Green, like your eyes.”

Dean stroked his dick and spread lube on it. He kneeled between Cas' bound legs and rubbed the head of his cock against the twitching hole. Dean thrust in quickly, until he was fully seated inside Cas. “Breathe, Angel. Just breathe.”

Cas inhaled sharply and arched his back as much as he could. He took deep, shaky breaths, as his body adjusted to having Dean deep inside him. Dean pulled almost all the way out, then thrust back in hard. He grabbed Cas' hips, pulling him to meet Dean's thrusts. “Damn, Angel, you're always so tight around my cock.” Cas cried out as he balled his hands into fists.

“C-color, Angel?”

“Green! Oh fuck…”

Dean started fucking into Cas hard. He ran his fingers over the ropes crossing Cas' chest, finding a bare nipple. Dean twisted it, as he sped up his thrusting. “Want to hear you, Sunshine.” Cas cried out and arched his back.

Dean could feel the beginnings of his climax starting in his belly, so he pulled completely out. “Doing so good, Angel. I want to try something.” He grabbed a pillow, lifted and rolled Cas onto his chest, putting the pillow under his shoulders for support. The new position put Cas' ass in the air. Dean leaned over and kissed one cheek and smacked the other.

Cas jumped. “Gonna get me back, Honeybee?”

“Gonna give you what you need, Angel.”

Cas squirmed as much as he could. “Please.”

“Please, what, Angel? Talk to me.”

“Give me what I deserve.”

Dean felt torn. He didn't want to punish Cas, but he knew Cas felt he needed it. “Angel? Help me out. What do you think you deserve?”

“You to spank me.”

Dean moaned. “Yeah. You want me to make your ass red, don't you?”

Cas squirmed. “As red as I made yours.”

Dean rubbed and squeezed the firm muscles, then reared back and smacked the same spot three times in rapid succession. Cas sucked in air, then cried out. Dean ran his fingers over the warming flesh. “What's your color?”

Cas took a couple deep breaths. “Green.”

Three hard smacks to the other cheek, followed by a soft caress. Then, Dean slid two fingers down Cas' crack, to dip into his hole. “That's a pretty shade of pink, little bee. I think it needs to be darker, though.” Cas moaned and nodded.

Dean kept his fingers inside Cas while he used his other hand to smack his ass at random. “God, it feels so good when you tighten around my fingers.”

Cas cried out on each smack of his ass. “Feel even better around your dick.”

Dean moaned and smacked each cheek twice more. He twisted and thrust his fingers roughly, then pulled them out. Dean picked up the phone, yet again, and took pictures of the bright red ass, making sure to get the ropes in frame as well. “So beautiful. Gonna fuck you again. Want to feel the heat coming off your red ass.”

Cas moaned. “Fuck me hard, babe, please.”

“Anything for you, Angel.” Dean lined his cock up and thrust in hard and fast and deep. “Fuck! How can you still be so fucking tight? It's fucking amazing.”

Cas cried out and tried to push back against Dean. Dean gripped his hips tight enough to bruise, pulling him to meet his thrusts. He set a hard, fast pace. “Fuck, I'm gonna cum. You want it in your ass or across your back?”

Cas cried out each time Dean’s hips made contact with his ass. “You...decide…”

“Gonna fill you up, Angel.” Dean thrust hard and fast, then buried himself deep as his orgasm crashed through him. Dean cried out and froze as his cock pulsed a seeming endless flood of cum deep inside Cas. “CAAAASSSS!”

Cas moaned and worked his ass muscles to milk Dean. Dean shivered, as he felt Cas squeezing his cock. He wrapped his arms around Cas' chest and pulled him upright. Dean sat back on his heels, Cas sitting on Dean's thighs, and mouthed at Cas' neck. He licked and nipped and sucked at the soft skin. “Do you want to cum yet, Angel?”

“Only if you’re done.”

“How are the bonds? Anything hurt or going numb, sweetheart?”

Cas wiggled his fingers. “Still feel ok.”

Dean continued to mouth at Cas' neck as he thought. “It's not enough though, is it? You still need more, don't you?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “If you can.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I can, but you gotta work for it. Can you do that?”

“I...I can try.”

“That's my sweet Angel.” Dean lifted Cas off his lap and slid out from under him. “Stay upright, Sunshine.” Dean stood on the bed and moved in front of Cas. He maneuvered Cas around so Dean could stand, leaning against the headboard, with Cas kneeling in front of him. “I'd like to take off the blindfold, Angel. May I?”

Cas shifted to keep his balance as Dean made the mattress dip around him. He licked his lips and nodded. “Yeah.”

Dean carefully removed the blindfold, trailing his fingers down the side of Cas' face. “Hey there, little bee. Still green?”

Cas opened his eyes and wasn’t surprised to see Dean’s dick in his face. He glanced up at him. “Green.”

Dean ran his fingers through the dark hair. “Get me hard again, Angel.”

Cas started to lean forward and stopped. “Just make sure I don’t fall. It’s hard to balance like this.” He leaned forward again and worked to get Dean’s cock into his mouth.

Dean helped guide Cas to his cock, moaning at the feel of Cas' tongue licking at the traces of cum still lingering there. He kept one hand in Cas' hair and the other on his arm for balance. “Keep going, but look up at me, Angel.” Cas looked up at Dean through his lashes as he licked at his cock, then took him into his mouth.

“Holy shit! Hold still a second.” Dean bent over, keeping one hand on Cas to steady them both, and picked up his phone from where it had slipped under a pillow. He straightened up and got the camera ready. “Ok, sexy, I'm ready now.” Dean snapped a few more pictures of Cas, with his lips stretched around his cock, then he switched to video.

Cas looked directly at the phone as he bobbed his head, until he took Dean so deep that his lips were stretched around the base of his cock. His eyes flicked to Dean’s face as he swallowed.

“Yeah, Angel, just like that. Swallow my cock.” Dean let Cas go at his own pace for a few minutes. He tugged lightly on Cas' hair. “You want me to fuck your throat, Angel?” Cas looked Dean in the eye and swallowed.

Dean tightened his grip on the hair and pulled Cas back slightly. “Deep breath, Angel.” Dean thrust into Cas' mouth, down his throat, and held him there for several seconds, then pulled him off. “Do you like that, Angel?”

Cas swallowed and took a few deep breaths. “Yes.”

Dean stopped recording and dropped the phone. He stroked along Cas' jaw. “If it’s too much, how can you tell me? You're bound and your mouth will be full.”

Cas swallowed again, then pushed back on the hand holding his hair. “If I’m fighting you, like trying to pull away instead of letting you guide me, then I’m trying to say yellow. If I’m doing that and have my eyes squeezed shut, then it’s red.”

Dean swallowed and nodded. “Ok. I can't wait to show you the pictures of you like this. You are so fucking sexy.” Dean bent down and kissed Cas deeply, then stood again. “When you're ready, gorgeous, take a deep breath and swallow me down.”

Cas smiled a little and took a few deep breaths. “I love you.” He took a deeper breath and swallowed Dean until his lips were wrapped around the base of his cock.

Dean moaned, gripped Cas' hair in both hands and held him still while Cas swallowed around his cock. Then, Dean tugged his head back and thrust back in quickly. He pulled back enough to let Cas breathe. “Again, Angel. Relax and let go.” Dean fucked in and out of Cas throat roughly, staring intently into his deep blue eyes. “Gonna fuck your throat, then I'm gonna take care of that big, hard cock of yours. I'm gonna suck that beautiful cock as I finger-fuck your tight, little hole.” Cas moaned around Dean, as his eyes fluttered shut for a moment.

Dean slowed for a moment. “Still green, Angel?” Cas opened his eyes and looked up at Dean, with his pupils blown, as he swallowed.

Dean sped back up, pausing occasionally for Cas to breathe. He continued to praise Cas for taking him so well. “I'm getting close, Sunshine. I want to paint your face with my cum. Do you want that, Angel?” Cas moaned and nodded as much as he could, then swallowed hard.

Dean thrust in and out a few more times before yanking Cas' head back with one hand. His other hand stroked his cock roughly, aiming at Cas' face. “Fuck! Oh, my Angel!” Dean came with a growl, cum splattered across Cas' face. He rubbed his cock through the cum, then slipped into Cas' open mouth. “Amazing, Angel.” Dean pulled out completely, then leaned down to kiss Cas.

Cas pushed his tongue into Dean’s mouth and moaned into the kiss. Dean sucked on Cas tongue as he carefully laid him down on his back. He scratched his nail across Cas' left nipple, then his right. Dean followed with his mouth, biting, kissing, and sucking his way to his prize. “So fucking beautiful.”

Cas arched into Dean’s touches, as he licked his lips and swallowed. Dean reached Cas' hard cock and swirled his tongue around the head. Cas moaned and bucked his hips as much as he could. ‘Fuck...’ “Dean…” He croaked out.

“You want me to make you cum, little bee?” Dean wrapped his fingers around his cock.

Cas nodded frantically. ‘Please, Dean. Please let me cum.’

Dean stroked Cas' cock slowly, as he tickled his sac with the tip of his tongue. “Hmmm, I'm not sure you really want to cum, Angel. Tell me how much you want it.” Dean teased.

Cas whimpered. ‘Please. I need to cum so bad, it hurts.’ Dean sucked Cas' cock into his mouth and bobbed his head up and down, taking more on every stroke. When the head hit the back of his throat, Dean started to gag and pulled up.

Cas moaned and his hips bucked, as tears streamed down his cheeks, his need to cum becoming almost unbearable. ‘P-please.’

Dean pressed two fingers in Cas' still slick hole, while relaxing his throat and sinking down on his cock. He released the cock ring as he swallowed around the head of Cas' cock. Cas’ body went rigid and he screamed as he shot cum down Dean’s throat.

Dean pulled back slightly, wanting to taste the cum on his tongue. He milked Cas' cock to get every drop and pulled off, leaving a trail of spit and cum down his chin. Dean pulled his fingers from Cas' quivering hole and crawled up to kiss Cas. He swept his tongue in Cas' mouth, sharing the remaining cum with Cas. Cas touched Dean’s tongue with his own, then blacked out from the force of his orgasm.

When Dean felt Cas go completely limp, he pulled away from his lips. Seeing that he was passed out, Dean started to untie the ropes from Cas' arms, chest and legs. Then, he straightened out Cas' limbs and rubbed them gently to soothe the muscles and improve the circulation. He grabbed his phone again and took a photo of Cas' unconscious, cum-covered, peaceful face, before wiping it clean. Dean maneuvered Cas around, so he could sit against the headboard and cradle Cas' head in his lap, then covered them both with a sheet. He picked his phone back up and texted Luke.  _ Cas passed out. Can you bring the smelling salts? _

Luke knocked on the door before slowly entering the room. “Good. You were able to get it all off without a problem.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, it was pretty easy with him unconscious and limp.”

Luke handed Dean the salts. “I’ll have to show you both how to make your own.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea, what with our anxiety and new tendency to cum so hard we pass out.” Dean uncapped the bottle and waved it under Cas' nose. After a few moments, Cas started to stir. Dean closed the bottle and handed it back to Luke. “Cas, Angel, come on back to me.”

Cas shifted and blinked lazily. ‘Dean?’

Luke laughed a little. “I’m guessing you added a ring after I left.”

“Yep and a blindfold.” 'Hey, little bee.'

Cas smiled and looked at Dean. ‘That was amazing.’

Dean smiled at Cas and ran his fingers through his dark hair. 'Hell yeah it was, Sunshine.' He turned to Luke, “Obviously, I didn't plan ahead, but I remember Mike saying we have to bring blood sugar levels up. Can you get us juice or something?”

Luke smiled. “Take him to the master bath. I have the tub ready, along with juice and snacks. Do you need help moving him?”

“Angel, how are your legs? Think you can lean on me to walk to the tub? I think I wrenched my back again, or I'd just carry your sexy ass.”

“Jello.” Cas said with a chuckle.

Luke laughed softly. “I’ll get him.”

Dean laughed. “Thank you, Luke. I'm definitely going to have to see someone about my back now.” Dean pulled the sheet off of them. “Ok, Angel, Luke's gonna carry you. I'll be right behind you.”

Luke carefully lifted Cas into his arms. “I’ll call to get you an appointment later.”

Cas smiled. ‘Thank you, Luke.’

Luke carried Cas into the bathroom and put him in the garden tub. “Let me know if you need anything else. Everything for aftercare is right here.” He said as he motioned to the items, then left the room.

“Thanks, Luke!” Dean looked over the tray. Luke had two glasses of water, two glasses of orange juice, strawberries, and assorted chocolates. There were also several candles on the vanity and edge of the tub. Dean lit the candles and turned off the overhead light. He made sure the tray was within reach and climbed into the tub with Cas. “Hey, Angel, would you like a drink of water or OJ?”

Cas leaned against Dean. “OJ. I’m guessing I blacked out, huh?”

Dean picked up the juice and held the straw to Cas' lips. “Cas, Angel, you straight passed out. How are you feeling? I'll bet your ass, among other things, is pretty tender.”

Cas took a couple big sips, then sighed. “Yeah. I’m sore, but it feels great. Is that something you’d ever want to try?”

“Being bound? Maybe. I never really thought about it before you. I've always been the one in control. So, giving that up for a little while, would probably feel pretty freeing.”

Cas snuggled against Dean. “I think you’d like it. We could start with your hands first.” He kissed Dean’s neck softly. “And, Honeybee, you give up control to me a lot, without even knowing it.”

Dean let his hands wander over Cas' body. “I do know, actually. But those times, I can easily take the control back. Being bound, if you wanted, you could leave me that way, no matter what I wanted. I know that you wouldn't, I trust you. It's just a scary thought, to submit like that.” Dean kissed Cas softly. “Are you hungry? We have strawberries and some chocolates.”

Cas pulled back a little and looked at Dean. “And it’s not scary for me? Just being with you used to be scary for me. You could have been another Balth, or Raph could have put you up to it, just to hurt me. The first time you tied me up, I had no idea if you’d hurt me or not.”

“I know, Angel, and I am so proud of you and how strong you are. I'm honored that you trust me so much that we can do this. I want to. I want to at least try. When we get back to our room, I'll have to show you how beautiful you are, all bound, taking my cock in your tight ass and sweet mouth.” Dean nibbled and licked along the soft skin of Cas' throat. “Oh, dammit! I just remembered that I put the phone down before I came on your face. I wanted to get a shot of you with my dick in your mouth and my cum dripping down your face. God, that was gorgeous, Sunshine.” He reached over, grabbed a piece of dark chocolate and held it to Cas' lips in offering.

Cas swallowed the chocolate, then bit his lip. “Being bound is all about trust. I completely trust you. I know if I use my safeword you’d stop. I’d even give up control, if I knew you were going to use a flogger on me. If you’re not to that level of trust yet, then it’s ok. I’m not going to force you to be ready. I can wait until you are. And when you are, we’ll start out slow.”

“Angel, it's not that I don't trust you. I trust you with my life, even more, with Sammy's life. I'm afraid... I'm afraid that I'll lose myself in that freedom. It's crazy, I know, but I'm scared that if I totally give up control, even for a short time, I won't want to take it back. Being in charge, in control of a situation, it's what I know, it's who I am. What if I give it up and like it too much? Then, who will I be?”

Cas placed his hand on Dean’s chest. “I won’t let you lose yourself. If you like it, and it becomes something that makes you question who you are, then I’ll help you find yourself again.” He shifted so he was straddling Dean. “You like having me tied up. You like being in control then. I don’t see you getting tied up, giving up control, and never wanting to tie me up like that again.”

“As long as you're with me, and we start slow, like you said, I would like to try, little bee.”

Cas gently brushed some hair behind Dean’s ear. “I won’t say that it won’t change you at all. And I know that has to be scary. You’ve changed so much since meeting me. You found who you really are, not who everyone thinks you should be. When we try it, if it’s something you don’t enjoy, then we won’t do it anymore. When Luke teaches us, it’ll be just rope work. It won’t be about sex. Will you be comfortable doing that? We’ll be practicing and immediately untying each other.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah. I want to try. I want to learn how to do it right.”

“So Luke helping didn’t make it awkward for you?”

“A little, but I tried to focus on you. On doing it right, so I didn't hurt you.” Dean blushed. “And I had my robe on.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “That’s ok. I didn’t expect you to want to be naked in front of him. But I can tell you, he’s very professional. If you’d been naked, he would have treated you the exact same way.”

Dean laughed quietly. “Logically, I know that, but I was raised more conservatively. I can't even imagine being naked in front of my brother. Your family takes nudity in stride. It's an adjustment I'm working on making.”

“You don’t have to adjust. I’d never expect you to be naked in front of my brothers unless something happened and there wasn’t time to pull boxers on. I’m more free about my nudity than my brothers. I like to be naked, but I’ll still throw on boxers around them. Gabe will sometimes walk around completely naked. Luke and Mike normally have clothes on, if they aren’t in private, but they’ve come out of their rooms to grab something without clothes. Like I said, I won’t let you lose yourself. I don’t want you to become someone you aren’t happy being.”

“Have I told you lately how perfect you are, Angel?”

“Not in the past five minutes.”

“Well, you are. My perfect angel. No one wants me to be me. They want me to be the dutiful son, responsible big brother, star athlete, straight A student, even expert mechanic. And I try. But sometimes, I just want to curl up with my fiancé, binge-watch Netflix, and ignore the world.”

Cas eyed Dean playfully. “Straight A student? Who’s dreaming now?”

Dean splashed water at Cas. “I said I TRY! Anyway, adults want  _ all _ students to be straight A students, just most of them don't get that.”

Cas laughed. “I’m not even a straight A student, Dean. And I’m definitely not straight…”

“Thank God!”

Cas laughed. “What? Glad that I have a few Bs, or just that I’m not straight?”

Dean smiled and reached for Cas, pulling him to his chest. “Both, Sunshine.”

Cas snuggled against Dean as he ran his fingers over the rope marks on his arm. “You don’t know how happy I am that you and Luke get along so well.”

Dean traced the rope marks as well, admiring the pattern they left on Cas' skin. “Me too. After dealing with Mike, I was leery. I thought Luke would either be just like Mike, or he would be completely submissive. I didn't expect him to be so... nice. I mean his name is Lucifer. You'd expect him to live up to the name,” Dean laughed.

Cas laughed a little. “We joke that they got the names mixed up on their birth certificates. Although, Luke lives up to his name if you cross him, or hurt me or Gabe. Hell, he’s even taken someone down for doing something to Mike.”

Dean reached for the tray of snacks, brought the bowl of strawberries up and offered them to Cas, taking one for himself. “It's reassuring to know that someone has your back if I'm not around.”

“He’s got yours, too.” Cas said, as he grabbed a strawberry and took a bite.

“Yeah, and that's just weird too. He just automatically accepts me, teaches me how to tie his little brother up, wants to buy the neighbors out of their house so he can be close, but not intrusive. My own father doesn't want to be close to me.” Dean wiped away the tear that threatened to fall. “I'm sorry. Don't get me wrong, I like it, it's just not something I'm used to.”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Of course he’d accept you, after what you did. You saw him grab me, and you thought I was in danger, so you protected me. And it’s pretty obvious how happy I am with you.” He gently wiped at Dean’s tear. “I know the whole bondage thing is weird to you, but he’d rather know that we’re doing it right. If he teaches us the right way, then we’re less likely to get hurt.”

“It's not even the bondage thing, not really. It's the acceptance. You love me, I love you, that's all he needed to know. I'm not used to that.”

Cas smiled. “It's not just that, Honeybee. When I was with Balth, I thought I loved him. Luke never accepted him. He didn’t even like me being friends with him. He saw something more between us that made him want to accept you.”

Dean smiled sadly and shook his head. “Yeah, he saw me screwing up with you. Last night at dinner, when we talked about you like you weren't there, then this morning, when I brought up Mike and all that bullshit that you didn't want to talk about. Yep, he sees Dean the Fuck Up.”

Cas roughly grabbed Dean’s chin and forced him to look at him. “Stop it.” He said forcefully. “I won’t let you talk about yourself like that. We’ve both made mistakes.  _ Everybody _ makes mistakes. If you’re going to talk about fuck ups, then you have to talk about mine, too. You have to talk about how I didn’t listen when you tried to come out to me. How I hurt you so badly, that you didn’t want to be around me.”

Dean looked down and nodded. “I just don't want to screw up so bad that I lose you.” Dean shivered. He didn't know if it was from the thought of Cas leaving him or the cooling bath water.

Cas sighed. “Dean, what happened this morning, after you brought up the stuff with Mike?”

“I didn't shut up and I told Luke everything.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I  _ needed  _ you.”

Dean nodded. “I'll always be here for you, Angel. But what happens when you decide that  _ I'm _ not the one you need?”

Cas held Dean’s chin gently as he ran his thumb over his lips. “That’ll never happen. I’ll be dead before I don’t need you.” Cas grabbed the OJ and held the straw to Dean lips. “Drink. I’m pretty sure you’re dropping.”

Dean sniffled as he wiped at his eyes again. He took a few sips of the juice. “I thought only the submissive one could drop. Did I fuck this up too?”

Cas wiped at Dean’s eyes. “No. You didn’t fuck anything up. Doms drop, too. You dropped after sounding, remember? We’ll make sure Luke talks to us about it, ok?”

“Ok. I think Luke would probably explain things better anyway. Mike's too... I don't know... too stuck up?”

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Luke is way better at it. He won’t treat you like shit, like Mike did. He’ll take the time to explain it so you understand it’s not anything you did wrong.” He twirled his fingers in Dean’s hair. “I can try to explain. You know how when you’re playing a big game, you’re so in the zone, and then you win and you’re having this high? Well, after it’s all over and you’re sitting at home alone, you kinda crash, right?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, and you're thinking about having just been so happy a few hours before and everything just sucks and you don't know why.”

Cas smiled. “Right. That’s dropping. It happens to everyone.”

“So, is this gonna happen every time we do this? Cause, I don't know if I can handle that. I love you, Cas, and I want to give you what you need, but if.. if…” Dean buried his face in Cas' neck.

Cas wrapped his arms tightly around Dean. “Oh, Dean. It shouldn’t happen every time, but if it does then we’ll stop. I’d never want to do anything knowing it’s hurting you.”

Dean nodded. “Ok.” His voice muffled by Cas' shoulder. “Can we go back to bed? The water's getting cold.”

Cas scratched at the back of Dean’s head as he kissed the top of it. “Of course, Honeybee. I love you so much, you know that right?”

“Yeah. I love you too. I'm sorry I'm such a mess.”

Cas pulled Dean’s head back and kissed him softly. “We’re both messes, Buttercup.”

Dean eyed Cas warily. “Buttercup?”

Cas tried hard not to smirk. “Would you rather be my kumquat?”

Dean smiled. “As long as I'm not your kale salad.” He chuckled. “Angel, do you think it's weird that I rarely call you by your name? I mean, you call me Dean all the time. You sprinkle in Honeybee, and now Buttercup and.. kumquat, but I always call you Angel or Sunshine or little bee. Rarely, do I call you Cas or Castiel. Does it ever bother you?”

Cas hummed. “Kale salad. I like the sound of it.” He said with a chuckle. “At first I thought it was weird, but now when you only say my name I know something’s wrong.”

Dean nodded. “Like if I'm upset or hurt or feeling off? Kinda like now. I guess I never noticed.” Dean shivered again and stood up. He helped Cas stand and get out of the tub, then pulled the drain plug. Dean wrapped a towel around Cas, then wrapped one around himself. He started blowing out the candles. “Cas? Tell me random stuff. Like you did with your friends in Pontiac. Please.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Oh, ummm, we’d go bowling or play mini golf. Sometimes we’d go play laser tag or something. There wasn’t much to do in Pontiac. We had to go closer to Chicago for most things.”

Dean shook his head. “No. Like the video Balth sent me. You were laying on a group of people and you were telling them all these random facts. I need to think about other things. Please, Cas.” Dean finished blowing out the candles.

“You mean the times that I bored everyone to tears? Those aren’t very good stories. But if you’d rather I tell them, instead of the time we drove race cars at Chicago Speedway, then I’ll tell you useless facts.”

Dean shrugged. “Just talk to me. My brain keeps circling around dark, heavy thoughts. I need you to make me think of other things. ...What kind of cars?”

Cas swallowed back the lump in his throat. “I... um I think they were Monte Carlos.”

“Monte Carlos are good. How fast did you go?”

“Not as fast as you would have, but I didn’t crash like Balth did.”

Dean smiled. “He crashed? Did he break anything? Please say he broke his nose, Sweet Pea.”

Cas chuckled a little. “Unfortunately, the helmet and harness kept that from happening, but he got whiplash. He also fell on his ass trying to get out of the car.”

Dean chuckled. “Yay. So, how come you guys got to drive on the track?”

“A friend of the family has something to do with NASCAR. I bet I could get us into Kansas Speedway, if that’s something you’d be interested in.”

Dean's eyes lit up. “Really? That'd be pretty cool. I do like to drive fast.”

Cas nodded. “Luke knows the guy. He was a friend of dad’s. I bet they’d let you take Baby on the track.”

“It'd be awesome to get her out there and really open her up, but, at the same time, I really don't want to wreck her. She doesn't have the roll cage or other safety equipment that race cars have.”

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You wouldn’t have to go crazy with her.”

“Think they'd let me drive two cars? Take Baby for a few slower laps, then one of the race cars to get some real speed?”

Cas shrugged. “I don’t see why not. I went out a few times.”

Dean grinned. “Cool.” He climbed into bed and waited for Cas to join him. “I'm kinda hungry. Think Luke will bring us lunch in bed, Angel?”

Cas got on the bed and snuggled against Dean. “I’m pretty sure he would.”

Dean nodded and opened his phone. On the screen was the image of an unconscious Cas, covered in cum. He studied the picture for several moments.

Cas texted Luke asking for food, then glanced at Dean. “What’s that face about?”

Dean showed Cas the image on the screen. “W-what do you think?”

Cas looked at it. “I think I look good with your cum on me.”

Dean swallowed and nodded. He started swiping through the pictures. “I like the look in your eyes when I've got my cock down your throat. Fucking sexy as hell.”

Cas smiled. “I like the feeling of having your cock down my throat.”

“Yeah.” He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. “Me too. I like it when I have yours in my throat too.” Dean swiped through more photos and found one that showed Cas, bound beautifully, with bright red handprints covering his ass and three of Dean's fingers buried inside. “How did that feel, Sunshine?”

Cas looked at the picture and smiled. “It felt so fucking good. The mixture of pleasure and pain, with being helpless and completely at your mercy, was absolutely amazing.”

“Yeah. I wasn't sure if I was going too hard or not hard enough. I figured I was doing good because you stayed Green, but didn't ask me to hit harder. The ropes looked so pretty against your skin. Once I got them tied, you... the look of trust and calm on your face... beautiful.”

Cas ran his hand over Dean’s chest. “It was perfect.  _ You _ were perfect. I’d heard that being bound felt like a tight embrace and that it allowed you to just forget about the world around you and only focus on you and your partner. The few times Balth tied my arms together I didn’t feel that. I was never able to relax. With you...I felt so free.”

“I.. I want that. Maybe not positioned like that, but I want that feeling.”

Cas gently brushed Dean’s hair back. “Do you want to try something right now? No sex or anything. Just your arms bound. I could do them in front of you so you still feel like you have some control over them.”

Dean chewed on his thumbnail as he thought. 'Yeah... yeah, Angel.'

Cas kissed Dean softly, then sat up and picked up a piece of rope. “In front or behind you?”

“In front.”

Cas nodded. “Sit up, please.” Dean put his phone on the nightstand and sat up. Cas kissed Dean softly. “I’m going to do something extremely simple. The only knots will be the ones to tie the ends together. If you need it off, I untie it and unwrap it and it’s off. I need you to put your arms like this.” Cas bent his arms, putting his wrists together and brought his balled up fists under his chin.

Dean bent his arms to mirror Cas' position. “Like this?”

Cas smiled and nodded. “Perfect.” He wrapped the rope around Dean and threaded the ends through the folded over loop, then started wrapping the rope around Dean’s back and arms, crisscrossing it as he went. “I’d prefer you use the colors or safeword if something doesn’t feel right or is bothering you. I won’t ignore you if you say something, like get me out of this, but it is important that we are used to using our safewords.”

Dean nodded. He took a breath and slowly exhaled. “Ok. I can do that.”

Cas kissed Dean’s temple. “I know you can.” He wrapped the last of the rope around Dean’s wrists, then tied it off. “See. Only one knot.” Cas said as he caressed Dean’s cheek.

Luke knocked on the door and slowly entered the room. “I brought your food. Oh, you should have told me you’d started another scene.”

Cas shook his head and motioned to the bed. “He’s just seeing what it feels like to give up control. Can you please set the plates on the bed and give us privacy?” Luke put the plates down and left the room.

Dean tried to move his arms in a few different ways. He felt a sudden, but brief, moment of panic when he couldn't move. He looked at Cas and relaxed. Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek. “Shhh. It’s ok. Go ahead and test them. Feel everything that’s always weighing on you slip away for a moment. Let me take those worries away.”

Dean leaned into the touch. He turned his head to kiss Cas' palm. 'Thank you'

Cas smiled softly. “You’re welcome. Would you like to eat something?”

Dean nodded. “Yes, please.”

Cas put all the food onto one plate, then held it up. He got a piece of steak on his fork and held it to Dean’s mouth. Dean opened his mouth and took the bite of steak from the fork. He moaned at the taste and his eyelids slid closed as he chewed and swallowed. Dean smiled.

Cas alternated bites between Dean and himself, then put the plate down and picked up a glass of water and held it to Dean’s mouth, tilting it slightly. “Some scenes are like this. It’s not all about tying each other up and having sex. It’s also about destressing and pampering.” He said as he pulled the glass away and took a drink.

“I... this... I like this.” Dean look down at the ropes and smiled. “The sex is nice too.”

Cas smiled and caressed Dean’s cheek. “We can do this as often as you want, or need. You can be naked or fully clothed. We can be in here or laying on the couch watching movies. I could probably benefit from doing this sometimes, too.” Cas picked the plate back up. “More?”

“Yeah.” Dean thought about needing to be bound on occasion. He thought about how calm he felt at the moment because he had given up control to Cas. Dean smiled softly and sighed.

Cas fed Dean some more steak and potatoes. “I think that when we’re doing something like this we shouldn’t use safewords to end it, unless the safeword is needed. I think, when we’re ready to be released, we should say ‘end scene’. Or like, if I wanted to see if you’re ready to be released, I’d ask if you’re ready to end scene.”

Dean chewed and swallowed. “That sounds like a good idea. I wouldn't want to scare you by using the safeword when it wasn't urgent.”

“Exactly. Using them during something peaceful like this, could make it confusing and make us less likely to pay attention when they are important.” Cas gave Dean another sip of the drink, then set everything aside. “Would you like to relax like that, or are you ready to end scene?”

Dean thought for a moment. “Can we relax for a bit? I'd like it if you sat behind me and I could lean back against you.” He bowed his head. “Is that ok?”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “Of course it’s ok.” He moved so he was behind Dean and situated the pillows so he could lean back against them, then gently grabbed Dean and pulled him back against his chest. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean. “How does this feel?”

Dean sighed. “Perfect, Angel.”

“You weren’t expecting it to feel like this, where you?”

“No. I thought it would be more like they show in porn. Rough. You telling me what to do. This is... relaxing. You ask me what I need, give me options.”

Cas gently played with Dean’s hair. “Just because you willingly gave up control doesn’t mean I can’t give some of it back. Ultimately, it’s still up to me. If you wanted something that I felt wasn’t safe, then I’d take control and not give it to you.” He ran his fingers over the rope. 

“Originally I was just going to tie your wrists, but that wouldn’t have given you the same feeling this does. This is one of the most comfortable ways to get that feeling. You’re arms aren’t at a weird angle so they’re less likely to start aching. If you ever want to try different ways, then we can. If you want to keep it comfortable, but want to step it up, then I’d add your legs and then a blindfold.”

“I thought about a blindfold, but for now, I think that would make me panic. At first, I did start to panic, but I looked at you and it went away. I knew I could let go because you were there. Maybe, someday I could. Hell, there might be a time that I would  _ need _ it. But not yet.”

“I saw that. You did a great job of pulling yourself out of it. I think that for right now, if you felt like you needed less stimulation, you could just keep your eyes closed. If you want it to be an order, then I can do that, but I wouldn’t punish you or be mad if you needed to open them. Just like if you ever want the blindfold and you needed it to come off, I’d take it off.”

Dean nodded. “Thank you, Angel. I'm feeling much better now. I think we can end scene.”

“Can I get a picture first?” Dean nodded. Cas picked up Dean’s phone and took a selfie of them. He kissed Dean’s shoulder as he reached around him and undid his wrists, then started removing the ropes from around Dean. “I think the problem is that we have an intense scene and it stops abruptly. That doesn’t allow you to come down from that high, without crashing. Maybe this should be your aftercare.” He said as he set the rope aside.

“But how can we do that? Earlier, you were pretty boneless. How would you be able to bind me, when you can barely move? And, how could I take care of you if I'm tied up?”

Cas rubbed Dean’s arms. “Well, we’d get both of our sugars up first. If it seems like you’re going to drop, then I can bind you. But hopefully you won’t drop very often. The first time, was because you didn’t know about subspace and Mike didn’t help. This time I passed out. We weren’t able to come down slowly.”

Dean rolled his shoulders. “Like a contingency plan. I like that, Sweet Pea.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder. “How do your arms feel?”

Dean shook his arms out to his sides, then flexed them. “Good. They feel fine.”

Cas smiled. “Good.” He gently massaged Dean’s shoulders. “I think we need to get some doctors appointments set up. We definitely need to get your back looked at soon.”

“Yeah. I wrenched it pretty good earlier. The bath helped a lot to warm up and relax the muscles. Then, the way I was bound kept my back straight while the muscles cooled down.”

“So it served two purposes? That’s good to know. I’d like to get you in somewhere by next week though. Practice is right around the corner and you don’t need to injure it further.”

Dean nodded. “Why don't we put some clothes on and see if Luke went ahead and made appointments already. It wouldn't surprise me if he did.”

Cas laughed. “It’s like you’ve known him for a while.” He kissed the back of Dean’s neck, then moved out from behind him and got off the bed.

Dean laughed. “I can be observant sometimes. He seems pretty straightforward.” Dean got off the bed as well. He wrapped his arms around Cas from behind and rested his chin on Cas' shoulder. “I know I say it all the time, but, I love you, Sunshine.”

Cas smiled and ran his hand over Dean’s arm. “I love you too, Honeybee.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets some help with his back and Cas deals with PTSD.

Dean kissed Cas on the cheek and let go. They got dressed and walked downstairs, hand in hand.

Luke looked up when they walked into the room. “I’m assuming everything went well?”

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand. “Dean dropped. I helped him through it, but giving up control really helped.”

Luke looked at Dean. “So you’re feeling better now?”

Dean smiled, lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of Cas' hand. “Yep. I'm doing a lot better. I'm like an emotional rollercoaster sometimes, but we're getting it figured out.”

Luke nodded. “Good. Have you thought about going to counseling? I don’t just mean for you. I mean both of you.”

Cas shrugged. “I’ve thought about it.”

“Like couples counseling or one on one?”

“You could see someone that does both. It’d give you both a chance to talk about the crap you’ve gone through and work on helping yourself, then you’d have sessions together so you can help each other.” Cas glanced at Dean.

“It's not like it would hurt. If we decide it's not for us, we can always stop, right?” Dean leaned a little closer to Cas. “Sammy's basically told me that I probably suffer from depression and anxiety. I got pretty low when I was in the brace. Usually, I'd go out and rebuild an engine or something, but I couldn't physically do the work at that time.”

Cas laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. “We know I’m suffering with both.”

Luke nodded. “I know someone in the area that I think you’d be able to talk to. She’s in the lifestyle, so she’ll understand anything you need to discuss with her.”

“Thanks, Luke. Speaking of doctors…” Dean sat on the couch and tugged Cas down onto his lap. “I need to see someone about my back. Probably a chiropractor and a physical therapist. Ones that deal with athletes. Do you know of any?” Cas smiled and snuggled into Dean.

“I do. I’ve already made some calls. If you’d like to go in for X-rays and an adjustment today, I know someone that can fit you in.”

“That would be great. The bath helped, thanks by the way, but I can already feel it starting to twinge.”

Luke nodded and sent a text. “Got you set up at 1. Do you have a referral for a physical therapist?”

“I'm not sure. It's been months since everything happened. Would it even be valid anymore?”

“It hasn’t been over six months, has it?”

“I think they gave it to me in July, when the doc said I'd be in the back brace until September. But I'm not sure. They had me on some awesome pain meds. Bobby would know.”

“Ok. I have you penciled in on Friday, if that works for you. As long as the referral is still good, we can set it up.”

Dean nodded. “During the school day or after? If it's close to the end of school or after, I gotta tell Bobby I'll be late to the shop.”

“I’d probably call out that day. Physical therapy could leave you pretty sore.”

“Ok, yeah. It's been pretty slow lately and I guess I don't have to worry about money anymore.” Dean looked down and blushed. “I could take some time off, unless a really big job comes in that Bobby needs help with.” He looked at Cas. “Is Sam up to speed on the computer setup?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. He’s probably setting up stuff I won’t know how to do.”

Luke laughed a little. “Some time off would be a great idea. When you get adjustments, they don’t want you lifting anything heavy for at least two days.”

Dean nodded and looked at his watch. “So, where's this chiropractor's office? I should probably get going soon.”

“Near the university.”

Cas ran his fingers over Dean’s chest. “Do you want me to go with you or stay here?”

Dean pulled Cas down for a kiss. “I always want you with me. But, if you and Luke want some brother time, I understand.”

Luke shook his head. “You want to leave me here, alone, to move furniture?”

Cas looked at Luke. “Oh. I guess not.”

Dean snickered. “Sorry, little bee, looks like you got some work to do.”

Cas glanced at Dean. “Only if you want to move into the master and have a playroom.”

“Of course I do. After my appointment, we can go get dinner and look around the furniture stores. See if we find something we like. Do you think we should repaint?”

Cas furrowed his brows. “I don’t know.”

“You should. It will be your space as a new couple. You should make it exactly what you want it to be.”

Dean smiled a happy, boyish smile at Cas. “We could go look at paint samples too. Oooh.... and carpeting.”

Cas smiled. “What color do you want to make it?”

Dean hummed. “Maybe blue, like your eyes.”

Cas laughed a little. “With green bedding to match yours?”

“And I'm about to gag on your sickly-sweetness.” Luke laughed. “You two can figure this out later. Castiel, get off of your man, he needs to get going and we need to change into some work clothes.”

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes. “Ok, ok.” He said, as he made himself get up.

Dean followed him up and smirked. “What? No kiss?”

Cas laughed and playfully pushed Dean’s face away. “Nope. Luke might puke.”

“Then he can clean it up. Not like this carpet's never been puked on.” Dean pulled Cas in for a tender kiss before grinning at Luke. Cas smiled softly.

Luke rolled his eyes. “Get out of here, before you’re late.”

Dean gave Cas a quick peck on the cheek and let go. “Ok, ok. See you soon, Angel.” He slipped on his shoes and jacket and left.

Cas sighed as he watched Dean leave, then wiped away a few tears. Luke hugged Cas tight. “He'll be back soon enough. Go change and let's tackle that spare room. You won't even notice the time fly by.”

Cas wiped at his eyes. “Mom and Dad were only supposed to be gone a few hours.”

“Oh, bumblebee. We definitely need to get you back in therapy. Are you still taking your meds?”

Cas shook his head as the tears flowed freely. “They wouldn’t write a new prescription because I wouldn’t talk to them.”

“And you wouldn't talk because of the injury?”

Cas nodded. “They wanted me to write everything by hand. He knew ASL, but refused to let me use it, so I just didn’t tell them anything. Once the prescription from Pontiac expired, I was out of meds.”

“Did Mike know about this?”

Cas nodded. “He told me to cooperate.”

“Damnit, Michael! Don't worry, Cas. Tonight, while you and Dean are out, I'm going to go have a nice, long chat with our brother.” Luke sighed, kissed the top of Cas' head and shooed him off to change. Then, he pulled out his phone and texted the therapist to have an emergency prescription called in and an appointment set up for Cas. He also set one up for Dean, as well as one for them together.

Cas went up to the bedroom and felt all the emotions hit him. He sat on the bed and put his face in his hands and cried. Cas curled up on the bed and cried into Dean’s pillow.

_ @ chiro. W8ing 4 xrays. :heart: u :angel: _

Luke knocked on the bedroom door. “Cas? Are you coming?” Cas squeezed Dean’s pillow tight, as he tried to muffle the sound of his crying. Luke walked in and saw Cas curled up on the bed, sobbing. His heart broke. “Oh, Cas.” He crossed the room, sat on the bed and pulled Cas into his lap. “Go ahead and cry, bumblebee. Get it all out. Crying is healthy, you know. Crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system and restores the body to a state of balance.”

Cas curled into Luke and clutched his shirt tightly, as he cried harder. Luke continued to hold Cas, stroke his back and hair, and let his brother cry, just like when they were young.

_ Xrays done. Doc wants to talk treatment plan, then adjustment. Miss u. :heart: u :sun: _

Cas sniffled and coughed as he wiped at his eyes. Luke picked up Cas' phone and held it out for him. “Do you want to look at it? It could be Dean.”

Cas nodded. “It’s his tone.” He took the phone and felt fresh tears.  _ I love you, too. _

_ Sorry I left the heavy lifting to u & Luke. U can leave it til l8r. :heart: u :bee: _

Cas wiped at his eyes.  _ You can’t with your back. _

_ We can hire people or make Mike Gabe and Sam help. I can supervise. Lol :heart eyes: _

Cas chewed on his lip.  _ Don’t want Mike around. _

_ K no prob. Docs ready 4 me. ❤u👼 _

_ Love you more.  _ Cas sighed and snuggled into Luke.

“Feeling a little better?” Luke brushed back Cas' hair with his fingers.

Cas shrugged a little. “Not really.”

Luke smiled sadly, still trying to soothe Cas. “I'm guessing that you won't, until he's back at your side, right?”

Cas sniffled and nodded. “Something could still happen.”

Luke nodded. “Yes, there is always that chance. I won't lie to you about that. This is something you need to talk to Dean and your therapist about, ok? Now, when he texts you after his adjustment, you know he will, gently tell him to drive safe and don't text and drive.”

Cas sniffled and nodded. “Ok.”

“Would you like to go downstairs while we wait? I'll make you a cup of tea, if you like.”

Cas shook his head. “We need to move stuff.”

“Moving stuff today was my idea. Re-read Dean's text. He told you that you can leave it for later. Do you actually  _ want _ to move stuff right now? It's ok to do what  _ you _ want to do.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “I want us in the master.”

Luke nodded. “Ok, then. Did you want to change or are you ok with what you have on?”

Cas looked down at himself and smiled when he realized he had on Dean’s clothes. “I’m good like this.”

“Alright. Put your phone in your pocket and let's see what we're working with in the spare room.” Luke let go of Cas and waited for him to stand.

Cas got up and put the phone in his pocket, then went to the spare room and opened the door. “I’m not sure where Dean wants to put this stuff.”

Luke looked around the room. “Well, for now, we can keep this room as storage. The furniture from the master can be set in here disassembled, until Dean returns and we form a plan for future storage.”

“I was thinking we could get a shed or something to put stuff in.”

“We could do that, but we won't be able to get it delivered before Dean comes home. So, should we go out and purchase a shed or empty the master?” Luke watched Cas as the anxiety started to rise. “There is no wrong answer, Castiel. Which would you like to do right now?”

“I... We can’t make this a guest room with the boxes in here.”

“Cas. Stop. Breathe in slowly.” Luke waited for Cas to take a slow breath in. “And out slowly. Good. Again. In..... and out.... in .... and out…” He waited as Cas calmed himself. “No one is expecting you to have everything done immediately. What is your main goal for this moment?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Clean out the master, but this room has to be cleaned out first.”

“Does it? Isn't there room enough to stack those items  _ temporarily _ in here, until a shed can be purchased and delivered?”

Cas glanced around. “I guess.”

“Good. Are you going to be ok with doing that?”

“Yeah. I don’t want Dean lifting anything heavy.”

“I know. We won't let him. Shall we start by shifting some of the items currently in this room to accommodate the new items?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. Luke? I’m guessing that, since you didn’t know I was off my meds, you don’t know how bad it’s been.”

Luke looked at Cas questioningly. “How bad, Bumblebee?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “I was cutting a lot. Dean asked me to stop.”

Luke nodded. “I can't say that I'm surprised by either of those statements. I am sad to hear that you resorted to old habits, but I am very pleased that you have found someone that cares enough about you to want you to stop. Besides me, of course.”

Cas smiled a little. “He’s pretty amazing.” He went into the room and started shifting boxes around. “I don’t even know what’s in here.”

“Well, you have two options. Open a box or don't open a box.”

Cas glanced at Luke. “You don’t think Dean would be mad if I did?”

“That, I do not know. What I do know is, Dean loves you. If he were to get upset, that feeling would be short lived. Has he ever indicated that he did not want you looking?”

“No. And he never got mad that I was breaking into the house for a while.”

“Then, I believe you needn't worry. If you would like to look, look.”

Cas chewed on his lip and shook his head. “I’ll wait and ask. If it’s his mom’s stuff, he might not want anyone messing with it.”

“Perfectly reasonable. Now, why were you breaking into Dean's house?”

Cas messed with a loose piece of tape. “I, um, sometimes... I, uh…” Cas took a deep breath and let it out. “Sometimes, I couldn’t be at Mike’s...not with how he treated me. He’d...he’d treat me like a sub.”

Luke sighed. “I understand needing to get away from our brother. He was wrong to force sub behavior on someone who was unwilling, especially his own flesh and blood. But, you could have contacted me. You didn't have to resort to breaking and entering.”

Cas shook his head. “You would have fought for custody. I would have had to move.”

“Yet, here I am, and here I'll stay. For as long as you need and want me. Not in this house, of course, but this town. I would have moved sooner, if I had known.”

“But, I thought you’d make me move. Dean and I weren’t as serious then.”

“It's ok, Bumblebee. Everything has worked out. However, I'd like you to promise me, no more criminal acts.”

Cas smirked a little. “He left the key in fake dog poop. It wasn’t hard to spot.”

Luke laughed. “I hope you have taught Dean the error of his ways in choosing such an obvious hiding spot.”

“I did.”

“That's good.”

_ Just finished. Setting appt 4 next week. B home soon. ❤u👼 _

_ Drive safe. No texting and driving. I love you. _ Cas looked at Luke. “Dean’s on his way home.”

Luke nodded and continued moving boxes around. “Let's get busy, then. We'll take a break when he gets here.”

Cas looked around the room. “Ok.”

_ Putting phone on silent. No temptation. ❤u more than 🥓 _

Cas rolled his eyes. “He says he loves me more than bacon. I bet if I made breakfast without it, he’d whine.”

Luke barked out a laugh. “Quite possibly. Bacon is good for the soul.” Luke surveyed the room. “Ok, let's go to the master. We can start moving things in here now.”

Cas grabbed Luke’s arm before he could leave the room. “Speaking of breakfast, thank you for cooking for us. You know I appreciate it, but Dean really appreciates it. Nobody’s really done that for him in a long time, except me, or Bobby when he’s at the shop.”

“He's had to grow up far too soon, you both have. I hope that you and Dean will allow yourselves to be young, now that I am here, and let me take care of the two of you.”

Cas smiled. “I’ll try to make him let you be the parent. It shouldn’t be hard. He was excited that he didn’t have to go to school, then work, then come home and cook.”

“Well, you both need to go to school tomorrow, but I will take care of cooking and it seems Dean has a good plan for work.”

Cas nodded and went into the master and started moving things. “Maybe we can go on a real date. We haven’t had many of those. We mainly just stay here.”

“You absolutely should. Go to the movies and dinner, go to the mall or whatever kids do these days. Be romantic and spontaneous. You don't need to jump to "old married couple" right away.”

“I want to take him to Kansas Speedway, so he can drive one of the cars.”

“Ok. I can arrange that.” A familiar engine rumbled into the driveway. “Go on, confirm that he is alive and well.”

“He wants to take her on the track, too.” Cas said as he ran down the stairs and out the front door.

Dean barely got the car door closed, when he was met with his fiancé, throwing his arms around his shoulders and kissing him firmly on the lips. “Hey there, Angel! I missed you!”

Cas kissed Dean again, then buried his face in Dean’s neck. “I dropped. I was so worried something would happen to you. I was so scared you wouldn’t come home to me, just like my parents.” He said, as he started crying.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and helped him walk inside. “It's ok, little bee. I'm back. I'm safe. Let's go talk to Luke and see if he can help, ok?”

Luke met them at the door. “As you can see, Cas has had a rough couple of hours. I'm glad you texted him. I believe it helped to ground him, right Cas?”

Cas sniffled and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Ok. I need to go and pick up a prescription. Why don't you discuss the guest room and what to do with those items?”

“A prescrip- oh. How? Never mind. It’s you.”

“I told you I'd take care of you, Bumblebee. I meant it. That goes for you too, Dean. Do either of you need anything while I'm out?”

Cas shook his head. “Just be careful, ok?”

“You know I will. I have my Bluetooth, so I can talk to you, hands-free, if you need.”

Cas nodded and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. “Ok.”

Luke left and Dean held Cas. “Ok, Angel, how are you doing now? You said you dropped. Is there something else we could have done to prevent that from happening again?”

Cas shook his head. “You left. I thought about my parents never coming back and got scared that you might not come back. Luke asked if I was still on my meds. I haven’t taken them since I ran out over the summer. That’s what he’s going to get.”

“Oh, Angel. I will always come back to you. I would trudge through hell and Bieber fans to find my way back to you.” Dean kissed Cas on the forehead. “About the meds. What are you supposed to be on, Sunshine?”

Cas shook his head. “Not if you crash and die.” He said, as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Well, then, you'd have a zombie in your bed. Not even death is gonna keep me from you.”

Cas laughed a little. “That’s gross, Dean.”

“I mean, they say brains are a delicacy. Should we start stocking up now?” Dean winked and grinned.

Cas wrinkled his nose. “Ewww. No. I’m sure they have a shelf life.”

Dean laughed. “We'll freeze them, or maybe can them.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Stop being gross.”

“Got you to show me that beautiful smile.”

“The meds are for my depression and anxiety.”

“Why did you stop taking them, Angel? And, if you haven't seen the doctor yet, how is Luke getting you a prescription?”

Cas sighed. “The doctor here wouldn’t prescribe them, because I wouldn’t talk to him. He wanted me to hand write everything and not use ASL. Luke probably called my old doctor and said it’s an emergency.”

“Why wouldn't you write during your sessions? You wrote with me in the beginning.”

“I only wrote with you a little. I mainly typed on my phone. He wanted me to hand write everything I’ve been through and feelings and shit, when I’m sitting there having anxiety. Even when I started talking to you, if I got too upset, I went to ASL.”

“So, he wouldn't even deal with you? What a dick! You'd think that someone trained to work with people that have mental health issues would be more understanding.”

Cas shrugged. “He’s Mike’s friend so…” He sighed and chewed on his lip. “I...I told you about Raph shortly after we started seeing each other. You weren’t good at ASL yet.”

Dean nodded. “I remember that night. That was the first night we spent together. We made out here. John showed up. We ended up at Mike's. I mentioned Raph and your fingers started flying. I asked you then if he tried something, if he forced you. You said no. I held you all night.”

“...Yeah. I know I told you he was the one that attacked me and stole my voice. I...I probably should have been honest about him forcing me…”

“It's ok, little bee. The important thing is that you finally did speak up about it and he's in jail.”

Cas nodded. “It felt good to tell you. I just wish you’d been able to understand.”

Dean tucked Cas closer to his side. “I wish I could have understood, too. But it's probably better that I didn't know then. I would have killed Raph and I would never have gotten to make love to you.”

Cas sighed. “Yeah.” He snuggled against Dean. “We got the furniture into the guest room, but I wasn’t sure what was in the boxes or where you wanted them. I told Luke we might need a shed for them...if they’d be ok to go in a shed.”

“You know what, Angel? I don't know what all is in those boxes either. We should probably go through them, donate what we don't want and store the rest. We used to have a shed, but I... uh... burnt it down setting off fireworks a couple of years ago.”

Cas nodded. “Ok. I can get us a shed, although, I won’t be surprised if Luke already ordered one. When do you want to go through them? Did you still want to look at furniture today?”

“Are you up for it? We can wait 'til Luke gets back, if it'll make you feel better.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “I’m good.”

Dean sighed happily at the kiss. He smoothed Cas' hair. “So, I was thinking check out bedroom sets, then maybe the home improvement store for paint and carpet, then go to dinner. How does all that sound?”

Cas smiled. “Sounds like a date.”

Dean grinned and ruffled the hair he had just smoothed. “Yeah. We need to have more of those, my love.”

Cas nodded. “You ready to go? Oh, did they do an adjustment today?”

“Yeah, they did an adjustment. They cracked me, put these pads on me that zapped the muscles, then had me lay on a water massager. I have to go back next week. You can come with me, so you don't worry. It feels a lot better. Should we change? I don't know how fancy of a dinner you want, Sunshine.”

Cas smiled. “I don’t need you to impress me. How fancy of a dinner do you want?”

“What about that sushi steakhouse you were gonna take me to?”

Cas’ eyes lit up and he grinned. “Really? Um, we’d have to dress a little nicer.”

“Ok. Help me pick something out?”

Cas nodded and took Dean’s hand, guiding him to their room and to the closet. He looked through Dean’s clothes and pulled out some new, dark blue jeans, a black Henley, and a green flannel. “That ought to work.”

Dean looked at the clothes. He reached into the back of the closet and pulled out a soft brown leather jacket. “How about this instead of the flannel? I don't get to wear it much.”

Cas looked and tilted his head, then pulled out a burgundy shirt with buttons. “With this shirt.”

Dean nodded. “Nice. Thanks, Angel.”

Cas smiled. “You’re welcome. My nicer stuff is hanging in the other room.” He smacked Dean’s ass and went to the other room. He chewed on his lip as he pulled out black slacks, a button up white shirt, and striped tie and put everything on, leaving the top button undone and the tie loose. He reached back in the closet and pulled out a black leather jacket with buckles and slipped it on. Cas looked down at himself and took a deep breath. He could barely remember the last time he’d dressed like himself.

Dean changed into the clothes Cas helped him pick. He was glad he got to wear his leather jacket. After working at Bobby's for over two years, it was the first thing he really splurged on for himself. Dean rarely wore it because he was afraid to ruin it. He walked to the other room, where Cas was changing. “Angel, how do I.... 'Son of a bitch' You look amazing.”

Cas blushed. “I, uh, thought you might want to see nerdy punk tonight.” He glanced at Dean and swallowed hard. “You look so fucking hot.”

Dean licked his lips, his eyes glued to the "nerdy punk" before him. He stepped in close, slid his hands up to the buckle at the collar. Dean grabbed the buckle and strap and tugged Cas into a slow, deep kiss. He pressed their foreheads together. “Fuck. You are going to be sweet torture for me tonight. I'm gonna be so hard for you all night.”

Cas smiled as he ran his hand from Dean’s waist to his chest. “I take it you like it.”

Dean swallowed hard. “I love it, Angel. You look so fucking hot.”

Cas smiled bigger, as he ran his other hand around Dean’s side, under the jacket. “So, I should get all my clothes and start dressing like this again?”

“Dude, yes. Definitely.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s lips. “Then we’ll have to go to Mike’s and to my storage.”

Dean licked along Cas' lips, urging them to part. “We can have Gabe get your stuff from Mike's and Luke can get the stuff from storage.”

Cas sucked in a breath. ‘Yeah. Ok.’ He whispered, leaving his lips slightly parted.

Dean swiped the tip of his tongue just inside Cas' lips, then pulled away with a whine. “As much as I want to stay here and fuck you until morning, I know you wanted to get a start on the master. We should go. Just think about how I want you to ride me tonight.”

Cas licked his lips and nodded. “I can’t wait.”

Luke closed the front door behind himself. “I'm back. Everything ok here?”

“Everything’s good. Dean and I are about to go on a date and check out beds.”

“That sounds wonderful.” Luke looked at the couple as they prepared to leave. “Look at you two. You both look very handsome. Cas, I have your medication. Did you want to take one now or later?”

Cas smiled and glanced at Dean. “Dean’s never seen me like this. He really likes it.” He said as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I’ll go ahead and take one now.”

Luke smiled at the pair. He was happy to see his brother back in the clothing that expressed his unique personality. He handed the pill bottle to Cas and got him a drink of water.

“Yeah, he looks really good.” Dean said roughly, eyelids fluttering at the feel of Cas' fingers in his hair.

Cas laughed a little. “Guess I should keep the touching to a minimum, huh?” He said as he took the pill.

“I like it when you touch me, you know that, Angel. Besides, delaying gratification can be a lot of fun sometimes.” Dean winked.

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair and scratched at his scalp. “So I should keep doing this?”

Dean whimpered. 'I thought you  _ wanted _ to go out, little bee.'

Cas smirked. “I thought you liked delayed gratification.”

“Tease.” Dean grinned and skimmed his hand over Cas' ass.

Cas nipped at Dean’s neck. “We need to go, Honeybee.”

Dean looked at Luke with a mix of giddiness and anguish. “Your brother is gonna be the death of me. Don't wait up!” Dean grabbed Cas' hand and headed out the door.

“Have fun.” 

Cas giggled a little. “We will!” Cas walked out to Baby with Dean and ran his fingers over the obvious bulge in his pants. “Need me to suck you?”

“Oh, God.” Dean moaned low in his throat. “I don't need it,  _ yet _ , but I'm sure you'll have my dick in your luscious mouth before we get back home.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s dick and smirked. “Oh, I’ll have it in my mouth.”

Dean grabbed Cas, spun him and pressed his back against the car door. He nipped at Cas' neck and kissed up to his ear. 'Maybe I'll need to suck that big cock of yours at the same time, Angel.'

Cas’ breath hitched and he swallowed hard. ‘Please.’ He whimpered.

Dean licked the shell of his ear, before he nipped at the lobe. 'Do you need it now, or do you want to let it build, little bee?'

Cas shivered. ‘I...I don’t know.’

“Ok, let's get in, head to the store and let it build until we need it. I want you to be honest and let me know. Even if we're in the middle of something, you tell me. How does that sound?”

“I want you to tell me when I can.”

“Absolutely, Angel. I don't want either of us to hide what we need from each other. Are you ready to go?”

“No. I want you in control of when I get relief.”

Dean smiled softly. He realized that Cas wanted him to be able to tell when Cas was nearing his limit. “I get what you're saying, Sunshine. You can trust me. Now, in the car and let's go buy a bed.” Dean winked.

Cas grinned at Dean. “Yes, sir.” He said as he smacked Dean’s ass and got in the car.

Dean sighed and said to no one, “Yep, gonna be the death of me.” He chuckled and got in the driver's seat and started her up. “Ok, normally, I'd go to the secondhand store if I needed replacement furniture, so, I'm not even sure where a  _ good _ furniture store is. Do you, Angel?”

Cas pulled out his phone. “Uh, Eagles Rest, on Massachusetts, has five stars.”

“Thank you, Angel.” Dean kissed Cas, shifted into gear, and started to drive. He dropped his hand to Cas' thigh and lightly rubbed up and down.

Cas looked down at Dean’s hand and smiled. “What do you think of memory foam?”

Dean grinned. “Dude, it  _ remembers _ you.”

“My bed in Pontiac was memory foam. I think you’d like that.”

“I've heard good things about it. I'm sure they have mattresses we can test out in the store. Think they'd get mad if I pretended to fuck you right there? Just to see if it's a good fit.”

Cas laughed. “Possibly. We don’t need to get kicked out.”

Dean laughed and slid his hand a little higher. “You're probably right. But, we will be testing them out a little bit. Can't have my Angel on an uncomfortable mattress.”

Cas sucked in a breath, then swallowed. “Can’t have you uncomfortable, either.”

“Very true, Angel. Thank you for thinking of my comfort.” Dean squeezed Cas' thigh, lightly.

Cas glanced over at Dean. “I always think about your comfort.”

Dean pulled into the lot and parked. He pulled Cas close. “Yes, you do, little bee.” Dean brushed the tips of his fingers along Cas' jaw and kissed him softly. Cas closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. Dean trailed his other hand down Cas' chest, teasing his nipple. He pulled away, slightly breathless. “Come on, Angel. We're here.” Dean opened his door and got out. He held his hand out to help Cas out of the car.

Cas got out of the car and leaned against Dean. He looked at the front of the store. “Looks like a nice place.” Dean nodded, wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulder, and headed for the entrance. Cas walked inside with Dean and looked around. He felt slightly overwhelmed at all the choices. “Where do you want to start?”

Dean looked around. “Why don't we just wander around a bit. See if anything screams ‘buy me!’”

Cas nodded. “Ok.”

Dean led Cas down the first aisle, mostly basic metal frames that didn't interest either of them. “I don't know about you, but I think we need something sturdy.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah.”

They walked through the next section, occasionally pausing to sit on a mattress. Dean spotted a bed that looked a lot like the one Cas had at Mike's. “That looks familiar, huh?” Dean smiled.

Cas looked at the bed and nodded. “It does.”

Dean saw Cas' non-reaction. “What about that one over there?” He pointed at a bed that was sleek lines, shiny and black. They started toward it.

Cas glanced away from a rustic bed that had caught his attention and walked with Dean. “It’s nice.”

“Which one were you just looking at, Angel?” Cas shrugged. Dean looked around at the handful of rustic looking beds, in the direction Cas had been looking. “Ahh, let me guess, you like this one. The one that looks like reclaimed wood on the head and footboards. I love the different colors of the wood.”

Cas glanced at the bed. “It’s nice, but so is the one you were going to show me.” He said as neutrally as possible.

Dean smiled and shook his head. “You know that the other one is crap. That one is Mike's minimalist style. Something fitting for a Dom lawyer that doesn't want anything out of place.” Dean sat on the bed and gently tugged Cas down to sit beside him. “This one... this one is fitting for a beekeeper. Weathered wood, rustic and homey. I can picture a sky blue and sea green quilt, with matching pillows. Us, laying in bed on a lazy Sunday morning.”

Cas glanced at Dean and swallowed hard. ‘I’ve never had a bed I wanted.’

“Is this the bed you want, my Angel?” Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. Dean smiled brightly. “Then, this is our new bed.” He kissed Cas, laying him back on the bed. After several minutes, Dean pulled away, breathless. “Mmm... delicious. Now, what about mattresses? You said you like memory foam?”

Cas ran his fingers down the side of Dean’s face as he nodded. “Yeah.”

“Let's go see if we can find those.” He stood and pulled Cas up to him.

Cas stood and smiled. “Did your parents let you pick your beds?”

“Yeah, pretty much. But, like I said, I'm used to the secondhand store, or the scratch and dent place, they usually have a decent selection. This is new for me. Picking something new or isn't already banged up, picking something that fills the love of my life with such joy... that's incredible.”

“I always got brand new stuff, but I was never asked if I wanted anything new or if I liked the furniture or bedding. Sometimes, I just came home to a new room. I did sneak in bee sheets a few years ago, though.”

“Angel, if it takes me the rest of our lives, I will convince you that your opinion matters.”

Cas leaned against Dean. “It’s just weird having a say in something like this.”

“I know. It's weird for me to be able to afford it. Thank you for that.”

Cas smiled. “You deserve to be able to afford things.” He said, as he playfully shoved Dean onto a memory foam mattress.

“And you deserve to be able to pick out what you want.” Dean pulled Cas down on the mattress with him.

Cas nipped at Dean’s jaw. “I already picked out who I want.”

“Yeah, and I'm glad you did, Sunshine.”

“What do you think of this mattress?”

Dean bounced on it a little, then got up on his hands and knees. He looked back at Cas. “It's nice. Do they come in any other levels of firmness?”

Cas nodded. “Mine was a little softer and had the cooling gel.”

“Cooling gel? What's that like?”

Cas pointed at the mattress that said it was a cooling one. “Go find out.” Dean sat on the mattress and leaned back. Cas stood between Dean's legs and explained. “Memory foam can get hot because it shapes from body heat. The cooling gel has beads that make it like laying on cool sheets that never get hot. Feel how it's not getting warm under you?”

“Yeah. This feels nice. Is this what you want to get?”

Cas nodded. “If it’s too cold in the winter, we can use flannel sheets, but I’m pretty sure we’ll keep each other warm enough.”

Dean smiled and sat up, wrapping his arms around Cas' waist. He pressed his face into Cas' belly. “Now, we just need a salesperson.”

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Does Sam need a new mattress? What about the guest room bed?”

“New mattress for the guest room. I'd like to bring Sammy in to pick out a new bed and mattress for himself. I'd feel bad if I picked something he didn't like.”

Cas nodded. “Sounds good.”

Dean looked around and saw a salesman looking at them with a slight frown on his face. Dean grasped Cas' tie and gently pulled him down for a slow kiss. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, as he kissed him back. When they broke the kiss, Dean looked around and saw a saleswoman, probably in her early 20s, smiling and blushing slightly at sight of them. The salesman started to walk toward them. “Excuse me, miss? Can you help us, please?” He looked up at Cas. 'I don't like how the guy is looking at us. He seems homophobic.'

Cas glanced at the guy. ‘Either that, or he sees teenagers just playing around.’

'Yep, that's why I want the girl to help us.'

Cas nodded and looked at the woman when she walked over. “We’re interested in a bed set and two memory foam mattress. One king and one queen.” He looked at Dean. “Did you want to replace any other furniture?”

“Are we getting the matching dresser and nightstands?”

“That's what a bed set is, my little love muffin.” Cas said, with a small smirk.

“Awesome. Then, no, not right now. Maybe when we bring Sammy back, we can look into other items.”

Cas nodded. “Ok. We should probably get two dressers, so we each have one.”

“Yeah, I know you have a lot more clothes in storage.”

“Do we want two standards, two verticals, or one of each?”

“One of each sounds good.”

Cas smiled. “Ok. We want that rustic set over there in a…” He looked at Dean. “Queen right? That’s what size my bed is. Your bed is nice, but it’s a little small for both of us, and a king is just too much space. We wouldn’t use most of the bed.”

Dean nodded. “Anything you want, Sweet Pea.”

“Ok Snookums.” He looked at the woman. “We want a queen.”

The salesgirl, who's name tag said Meg, made notes on the items they wanted. “Well, aren't you two just adorable? Just starting out?”

“Yeah. We're engaged. Just moved in together. Isn't that right, Pumpkin?”

Cas grinned. “Yes it is, Pookie.”

“When can we have all of this delivered?”

“How soon would you boys like to have it delivered?” 

Cas glanced at Dean. “The weekend? It'll give us a chance to go through the stuff in the guest room.”

“You didn’t want to get it today?”

“Can you deliver it today, Meg?”

Meg glanced at the time and nodded. “We could have it there around 8pm, if that works for you.”

“Uh, yeah. Luke should be there, in case we're not back yet.”

“As long as someone is there to let them in and sign for it. So, how will we be paying?”

Cas pulled out his wallet and credit card. “On my card, please.”

Meg checked Cas’ ID and nodded. “Ok. That’s going to be $11,060. You’re getting a pair of cooling pillows with each mattress, which is a savings of $610.”

Dean's eyes went wide and he had a quick intake of breath. He grabbed Cas' hand and squeezed a little too tight. Dean shook his head and tried to take a step back. Cas caressed Dean’s cheek. “Hey, it’s ok, Honeybee.”

Dean continued to shake his head as he backed up. The backs of his legs hit a bed and Dean sat heavily. He hid his face in his hands. 'It's too much. Can't breathe'

Cas sat next to Dean and pulled him close. He gently ran his fingers through his hair. “Shhhh. Breathe for me. Take a deep breath in and let it out.”

Dean dropped his hands and closed his eyes. He took the slow, deep, calming breaths that Cas asked him to do. 'Cas? I.. I can't... I...'

Cas pulled Dean closer, as he scratched at his scalp. ‘It’s just money, Dean. I want us to spend it together and make your house into  _ our _ house.’

'I know, but... it's so much. I've always had to scrimp and save... I just... '

Cas lifted Dean’s head and kissed him softly. ‘It’s mainly the mattresses. Do you want to go with cheaper ones? The bed set is around $800. We could get the cheap $400 mattress set and wait on the king mattress. Or we could go to the stores you’re used to and find something there.’

Dean breathed his calming breaths. He shook his head and his hands. Then, Dean looked Cas in the eye. “No. I ca...  _ We  _ can do this. You...  _ We _ picked them out, they're what  _ we _ want. Thank you, Angel.”

Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek, then ran his fingers through his hair. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be too uncomfortable about it and not be able to sleep in the bed with me.”

“I'm sure. I'll be fine, as long as you're with me.”

“*ahem* I don't mean to interrupt this  _ adorable _ moment, but if I could get your signature, Mr. Novak, we can start loading the truck. Would you like our men to assemble the items or would you prefer to do that yourselves?”

Cas took the paper and signed it. “Assemble it please. I’d like for us to be able to just crawl into bed when we get home.”

“That will be no problem. Here is your receipt and should you need anything further, just ask for Meg.”

Cas nodded. “Thank you, Meg. We’ll definitely be back to see you. We have more rooms to take care of.”

“Yeah, thanks Meg.” Dean waved as they left. “I wish I were 21. I could probably use a drink.”

Cas laughed. “You don’t want to be drunk tonight. We’re going to break that bed in properly.”

“I know, and I don't want to become my father.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “We're gonna need sheets and stuff. We don't have any queen size at home.”

Cas kissed Dean’s cheek. “Yeah. Where do you want to go for those? We could go to Walmart or Bed, Bath, and Beyond.”

“Where would you go?”

Cas shrugged. “Bed, Bath, and Beyond probably has a better selection for sets. We can always get just sheets at Walmart.”

“Might as well get sets. If we're gonna spend enough to give me a heart attack, might as well go all in.”

“I meant extra sheets from Walmart, Honeybee.”

“I know that the higher the thread count, the softer the sheets. Walmart sheets don't have a very high thread count. Might as well get all of it at Bed, Bath and Beyond.”

Cas nodded as he got into the car. “Maybe they’ll have bamboo sheets at this one.”

“I trust you, Angel.”

Cas glanced at Dean when he got in. “They are super soft. They aren’t cheap, but they last longer than cotton sheets.”

“Super soft and long lasting. I can get behind that. We... um... we could use some new towels too. Mine are old and getting kinda thin.”

“And look like they’ve been in the garage?” Cas joked as he winked at Dean. “We can definitely get new towels. If we see anything else we need, we’ll get it as well.”

Dean took a deep breath and nodded. “Just... don't let having money change me. Promise to keep me grounded, Sunshine.”

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair and smiled. “I won’t let it change you, but I do expect you to buy things you want, and need, without worrying that it’s too much. As long as you’re not spending foolishly, then there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Soooo, no diamond encrusted Bluetooth headset?”

Cas laughed. “Yeah. Don’t think that’s something you need or want. And if you want, we can always talk about big purchases together, before we make them.”

Dean laughed. “No, I don't need diamonds on a Bluetooth. How big is a big purchase? Or really, I should ask, how big is a  _ small _ purchase?”

Cas shrugged. “How much are you comfortable spending without feeling like you’re spending too much? $100? $500? $1,000?”

Dean huffed out a laugh. “Angel, until you, I would think I spent too much if I got Kraft Mac & Cheese instead of the store brand.”

Cas gently ran his hand over Dean’s arm. “How much did you spend on this jacket?”

Dean swallowed. “$350. I saved up for over two years.”

Cas nodded. “If you didn’t have it, and were out without me, would you buy it, or would you feel like you needed to talk to me first?”

“I'd fight with myself about it. I'd really want it. I'd want you to see me in it. I know you'd tell me to get it if you were there. But it'd still be in the back of my mind that I'd have to save for over two years to buy it on my own.”

“Because you still think of it as my money?”

“No. Maybe. It's just that, in my life, it takes a lot of hard work to earn a little bit of money. To suddenly have a lot of money that I didn't have to work for... it's scary.”

Cas laughed a little. “Sorry, but I think you’ve worked hard enough for it.  _ I _ didn’t do anything but be born and deal with my family, and I have money. You’ve had to be Sam’s Mom and Dad, and put up with John’s abuse, and you helped me become me again.”

“I know all that,  _ logically _ , but the scary part is, when will I wake up from this incredibly, fantastically, wonderful dream and find that it's all gone. That I've been laying in a coma since he beat me. That I'm broken, paralyzed. That you're not even real.” Dean wiped the tears from his eyes. “I'm sorry, Cas. I didn't mean to ruin our date with my bullshit anxiety.”

Cas kissed Dean deeply. “Never. Because this, you and me, is reality. Every time you wake up, I’ll be right there beside you.”

Dean laughed. “That's just what "Dream Cas" would say.” Cas rolled his eyes and pinched Dean hard. “Ow!”

“Would “Dream Cas” do that?”

Dean smirked. “Maybe. He is pretty kinky.”

“Asshole.”

“He likes it when I lick that.”

“Ah. So there’s this amazing “Dream Cas” and then there’s me.”

“Are you saying that you  _ don't _ like it when I lick your asshole?

“No. You started out saying I’m “Dream Cas”, but now you’re saying “He”, which implies that you’re talking about someone else.” Cas said, then stuck his tongue out at Dean.

Dean quickly dove in to suck on that tongue. He swirled his own tongue around it before pushing into Cas' mouth. When he finally pulled away, he panted. “I was only teasing, Angel. YOU are the only Cas I'll ever need. Whether you're real or a dream, it doesn't matter. I'm keeping you.”

Cas smiled. “Good, because I’m keeping you, too. It’s so much easier if you’re kept willingly and don’t have to be kept in a cage.”

Dean laughed and started the engine. “Ok, Dreamboat, gimme directions to Bed, Bath, and wherever.”

Cas looked at his phone. “It's on Iowa, just south of KU.”

“You wouldn't really put me in a cage, right Angel?”

“Nah. I’d put you in the bottom of a well and send lotion to you, using a bucket.”

“You've seen Silence of the Lambs?”

“Of course.”

“It was the butterfly on the DVD box, right?”

“You mean the death’s-head hawkmoth with the orgy on its thorax? No. I was interested in the story.”

“Have you seen Red Dragon?”

Cas raised his eyebrow. “Have you seen Manhunter?”

“Uh.. no. What's Manhunter?”

“The original from 1986. It’s way better than the remake. Don’t get me wrong, I love Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal. I just don’t like the remake. Dean, we really need to get your knowledge of cult classics up to speed.” Cas said with a slight smirk.

“I'll gladly watch it. But it's hard to top Ralph Fiennes as Dolarhyde and Ed Norton as Will Graham.”

Cas shrugged. “We’ll see how you feel after you’ve watched it.”

“Ok, Angel. If I like Manhunter better than Red Dragon, I'll use the sounds on you again.”

Cas’ head whipped around to look at Dean. “...Really?” Dean nodded, biting his lower lip. Cas studied Dean’s face. “...You’re hoping you won’t like it.”

Dean blushed. “Kinda... because if I still like Red Dragon better,” 'you get to use them on me.'

“Dean, I’ll use them on you no matter what. I’m just surprised you even want to do that again.”

“I.. I admit, I'm scared. We didn't understand that we'd need to do aftercare. I know we're still trying to figure out what that means for us, but we'll get there. And, if we have problems, or questions, we have Luke. I'd much rather ask him for help than Mike. Anyway, you really seemed to enjoy it.”

“I  _ really, really _ enjoyed it. Do you, uh, do you want to try it tonight to celebrate our new bed?”

Dean shook his head slowly. “Um.. no.. tonight, I want to make love to you. No scenes, no worry about aftercare and who's gonna drop first. Just us, making love on our bed, in our room. Maybe some 69.”

Cas nodded and gently brushed Dean’s hair back. “Let’s get our bedding and towels and whatever other crap calls our names.”

“Yeah, ok. Then dinner.”

Cas kissed Dean softly and smiled. “Yeah. We can look at paint another day. I want to get home to our new bed and make love until we can’t move.”

“Speaking of…” Dean slid his hand down, over Cas' groin. “How you doing there, Sunshine?”

Cas moaned, as his eyes fluttered shut. “Thinking about using sounds on you got me hard.”

“Me too, Angel. But, we don't  _ need _ it yet.... yet.” Cas whined and nodded. “Come on, little bee. We have shopping to do.” Dean got out of the Impala and walked around to the passenger door. He opened the door and offered his hand to Cas.

Cas took Dean’s hand and got out of the car, then adjusted his pants. “Let’s go.”

They walked in the store and each grabbed a cart. Cas led them to the towels first. Dean gawked at the vast selection of bath towels. “Uh, what color do you want?”

Cas shrugged. “You said something about blue and green.”

Dean blushed. “Um, yeah. Blue to match your eyes, and, um, green…”

“To match yours.” Dean nodded. Cas smiled. “I like it.”

“So, how many of each color and what size?”

Cas shrugged. “A couple of each size and color. Maybe four? Do you want new towels for the guest bath, too?”

“Yeah, let's get a set in red. Sammy likes red.”

“Ok. The ultra plush ones?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “No, the ones that feel like sandpaper. Of course the ultra plush, Sunshine.”

Cas smacked Dean’s ass. “Ok, smartass.”

“Oh, yeah, harder daddy!” Dean laughed. Cas smirked and smacked Dean harder. Dean moaned and adjusted himself through his jeans. 'Bedding?'

Cas nodded. “Yeah.”

They walked slowly, but determinedly, to the bedding section. If Dean thought the choices of towels was vast, it paled in comparison to the selection in bedding. “Wow. Ok, blue and green again? But, light colors. Sky blue, sea green?”

Cas nodded. “That’s what you said earlier.”

“Just checking. So, we know colors. What about design? Any thoughts?”

Cas chewed on his lip as he pulled one off the shelf. “I kinda like this one.”

Dean takes the set and puts it in the cart. “How about this one too?”

Cas smiled and nodded. “I like it.”

“We need a set for the king too. What are you thinking about for that?”

“What? Don’t think Luke would look good in that floral set that was on it?”

Dean barked out a laugh. “No, Angel, but maybe this black and red geometric design?”

Cas wrinkled his nose. “That is more Luke, but it won’t go with that frame.”

“Well, when he gets moved into a place of his own, we can get it for him as a present.”

“And not have him use it on that bed right now?”

“We'll pick something out for our house right now.”

Cas picked up a patchwork set. “What about this one?”

“Yeah, that looks nice. And it carries our blue/green theme through the house.”

Cas nodded and put it in the cart. “Dean? I was thinking about something. Do you think Bobby would let us get him a new mattress for Christmas?”

“He'll grumble, but he's never been rude enough to decline a gift.”

“I’ve just noticed how he’s got aches and pains, and I think a good memory foam could help him.”

“Yeah. He'd love it.”

Cas smiled and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Then we’ll have to order one for him. What else do we need here?”

Dean spotted a set of bee-shaped solar lights. “These, little bee. We need these.”

Cas gasped. “For our bedroom?”

Dean smiled. “Yep. It says here that they are for indoor or outdoor use. They use a battery and can be either solid or flashing. Like them?”

Cas nodded. “If we put the panel in the window, it won’t need batteries replaced.”

Dean grabbed all five sets from the shelf and put them in the cart. He also grabbed a jumbo pack of batteries. “Just to be safe.”

Cas laughed. “Ok.”

“Ok, that's all I can think of. Do you see anything else?”

Cas shook his head. “Not right now. I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“Ok, let's go check out. I'll try to not freak out this time. Promise.”

“If it helps, Luke will demand to reimburse us for pretty much all of it, since he said he wanted to buy our new bed for us.” Cas said, as he walked toward the registers.

“And I'm sure he won't take no for an answer, right?”

“He’s a Dom so…”

“Does he have a daily life safeword?” Dean teased.

Cas shrugged. “He plays off of his name a lot. His safe word is Apple. If his sub doesn’t have one, then they use that.”

“So, would that actually stop him from reimbursing you... us? I'm not saying that we should or shouldn't. I'm just curious.”

“He’d probably question why you don’t want him to gift the bed to us. If you had a good enough reason, then he probably wouldn’t. It wouldn’t matter what reason I gave, he’d roll his eyes and put the money in our account.”

“Let me guess, ‘it's too big of a gift’ wouldn't be a good enough reason.”

“Nope. He’s probably expecting it to be more.”

“Ok, so, I know that your family is primarily lawyers, but that's a lot of money, even for lawyers. Where did it all come from? Aren't you afraid it'll run out?”

“Our family has what you’d call ‘old money’. Our grandparents, on both sides, came from wealthy families, who came from wealthy families. We have money tied up in so many places that it’s insane. My parents became lawyers so they’d never get screwed out of money. Same thing with my brothers.” Cas sighed. “I was going to wait to tell you this, since you kinda freaked when you saw our combined account, but I’m worth more than that. When I turn 18, I'll have access to a trust fund. I’ll have access to another when I’m 21. After graduation, I’ll have access to stocks and bonds and who knows what else. I’m not worried. If we somehow managed to spend it all, I wouldn’t be worried. I don’t need a big, expensive lifestyle, like my parents, or my brothers. Like, I’m seriously shocked Luke wants to live next door. His house is bigger than Mike’s, and he wants to move next door to us.”

Dean nodded through Cas' explanation. He'd heard of those "old money" families, but he thought they were just stories. “Oh. Ok. Thank you. Now, about Luke, he loves you. He wants, no,  _ needs _ , to protect you. To do that, he needs to be close. But he also doesn't want to intrude, so next door.”

Cas eyed Dean. “You’re taking that news awfully well. Are you ok?”

“I was expecting something horrific, like mafia, or human trafficking.”

Cas laughed. “What? Seriously? Do we look like we’d be into something like that?”

“The twins are both Doms. Anything is possible. Old money. Ok. I don't think I ever want to know just  _ how much _ there is.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “You don’t want to know how much you’ll have after we get married?”

“Is it enough to keep us fed and clothed and sheltered. To pay for college if we lose our scholarships and to pay for Sam's college, in case he doesn't get a scholarship?”

“Yeah. Sam could go to any school he wanted to and we’d never have to work a day of our lives, but I know we still will.”

Dean blinked slowly. “Ok. Yeah. Um.. Yeah, I think that I would need to work. Have something to do. Have a purpose in my life. But to know I wouldn't  _ have _ to work... wow... that's freeing.”

Cas smiled. “I wouldn’t expect you to stop working. Just like I’m going to keep working at Bobby’s. I plan on us making donations and paying it forward. If you have someone that needs work done, but can’t afford it, go ahead and help them out. If you want to buy up some classics and restore them for fun, do it.”

Dean's eyes lit up. “I love doing restorations. Uh, obviously... our Babys. I love taking something that was once beautiful and returning it to its former glory.”

“And I want you to be able to do that as much as you want.”

“Thank you, Cas. My Angel.”

Cas smiled. “You’re welcome. If you need new tools, or whatever, get those, too.”

“I wonder how Bobby would feel about adding on to the garage, so I had a dedicated restoration area?”

Cas shrugged. “We’d have to ask him, unless you want your own garage for that.”

“My own... no.. no, I don't want my own. That's way too much hassle. The paperwork, liability insurance, taxes.... no thank you!”

Cas rolled his eyes. “And you don’t know anyone that’s qualified to be your office manager or legal counsel? Anyhow, I mainly meant for you to drag cars that you want to fix home and work on them in your spare time.”

Their conversation effectively distracted Dean from hearing the total cost for their purchases. Dean closed the trunk of the Impala. “Nah, I'd rather just do it at Bobby's. I'd just like to have a space that's separate for restorations, but still close for normal repairs. Maybe when we're older.”

Cas chewed on his bottom lip. “Oh.”

“Hey, it's not because I think that the offer is too much. It's mostly about Bobby. I don't want him to feel like I abandoned him. He was there for me and Sammy when no one else was. He's not in the greatest health, and I know that if I'm off at another shop, doing restorations, he'll work himself to death. Maybe, when we're older, after Bobby retires, I'll open my own shop. Until then, we can make Bobby's shop the best, most high-tech shop in the Midwest. Ok, Angel?”

“It’s just…” Cas sighed. “Nothing. It’s stupid. You’re right.”

“Cas?” Dean gently took Cas' face in his hands and waited until Cas looked in his eyes. “Talk to me, Sunshine. What are you thinking?”

Cas sighed. “I just thought it’d be fun for you to teach me at our house, and then maybe we’d do some together, but I guess we can do that at Bobby’s.”

“Oh, little bee, of course I can teach you. I'll teach you everything I know, and we can do that anywhere you like.”

Cas sighed and opened his door. “Yeah. As long as it’s at Bobby’s.” He said as he got in and closed the door.

“Damnit, Cas. I just said I'd teach you anywhere YOU like.”

“And how are you going to teach me at home, if you don’t have a working garage, Dean?”

“When you mentioned having my own garage, I thought you meant that I would have a shop somewhere else. I didn't think you were talking about just working on a car at home. I didn't want to have to look into finding a location and starting up a whole business.”

Cas gave Dean a look like “really?!?”. “I literally told you I meant a garage for you to drag cars home and fix them in your spare time. And you said you’d rather just do it at Bobby’s.” He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I never should have brought this up. This so didn’t go how I thought it would.”

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get mad.’ Dean said, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Fuck.” Cas jumped out of the car and hurried around it, pulling Dean into his arms. “I’m sorry.”

'No. I'm not worth it. You should leave me now, before I ruin you too. I ruin everything. I.. I.. I got mom killed.'

Tears poured down Cas’ cheeks. “You don’t mean that... you don’t really want me to leave…” ‘do you?’

“No. But I don't want you to die too. I, fuck, I can't think straight. What? I don't... Cas? I don't feel right.”

Cas wiped at his eyes. “Get in the car. I’ll take us home.” Dean nodded and let Cas help him into the car. Cas got in and wiped his eyes, then headed home, his mind replaying Dean telling him to leave over and over the entire drive. He pulled up to the house and parked, then helped Dean out and inside. “Luke?”

“You're early, bumblebee. Is... what's wrong?”

Cas blinked back tears. “He doesn’t feel right.”

Dean looked at Cas, his eyes were glassy. “Mmmm.... pretty.” He giggled

“Is he drunk?”

Cas shook his head. “We never made it to dinner.” Cas said, then wiped away his tears.

“Cas, call Bobby and see if Dean has any medical conditions, please.” Luke went to his bags and dug out a glucose monitor. He put in a fresh lancet and test strip, then kneeled in front of Dean. “Dean? I'm going to prick your finger and test your blood sugar.”

Luke pricked Dean's finger with the Lancet and squeezed to draw up a bead of blood. He brought the tester up and collected the drop. The monitor beeped and displayed 63 mg/dl. “Shit. Hang on, kiddo.” Luke quickly went to the kitchen, poured a glass of orange juice and brought it back to Dean. “Dean, I need you to drink this.”

Cas watched as he did as he was told. “He...he’s hypoglycemic.”

“That explains why he eats so often. It can also be part of why he drops after a scene, regardless of his role. Ask Bobby if he requires medication or if he just handles it with diet.”

“He said with his diet.”

“Luke? What's going on? I don't... how did I get home? Oh, God, is Cas Ok?”

“Shh... Cas is fine. A little shaken up, but fine. Drink your juice. When did you eat last?”

Dean sipped his juice. “Um, that steak you brought us in the bedroom... around noon.”

“That was eight hours ago.”

“Fuck. I was so excited for our date, that I forgot to eat. I'm so sorry. Where's Cas? CAS?” Cas started sobbing on the other side of the room, as his legs gave out and he collapsed to the floor. Dean jumped up and ran to Cas. Quickly, he slid next to him on the floor and pulled Cas into his lap. “Cas? Angel? Are you Ok? Luke! Help!”

Cas buried his face in Dean’s shoulder as he sobbed. “Y-you t-t-told m-me t-to l-leave y-you.” Luke sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.

Dean looked at Cas, shock evident on his face. “What? No. When did I do that, Angel? Oh God. I never want you to leave me. Please.” He hugged Cas tighter to his chest. Dean shook his head, trying to break through the fog. Cas cried and clung to Dean tightly.

Luke sighed. “Your blood sugar was extremely low. It’s possible you said things you didn’t mean.” Luke handed Dean his juice again. “Finish your juice. I want to test your sugar again in about 15 minutes.”

Dean took the juice and drank it down in two large gulps. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my condition. I don't like talking about it. People look at me differently when I tell them. It's easier for people to think I pig out all the time, or that I have a hollow leg or something. They don't get that I  _ have _ to eat frequently.”

“It explains why you drop so easily. You really should have told us, or at least him. This is why I ask any sub I’m going to work with if they have a medical condition before doing anything with them.”

Cas cried and clung harder. The need to cut crawling across his skin and making him dig his fingers into Dean to keep from letting go.

“I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would be a problem. I'm used to eating something every couple of hours. Even at school, I snack all the time. My teachers know, so they don't bust me for eating in class, but I still sneak it, so I don't have to explain.”

“Angel, I have hypoglycemia because when I was born, I was sick. I was born blue, pulmonary hypertension. In the NICU, they had an umbilical line in so they didn't have to keep sticking me to draw blood. When I was better, they pulled out that line, but I threw a blood clot. It landed in my left kidney and sent my blood pressure through the roof. They didn't know why it went so high and they gave me a medication that was more damaging. By the time they figured it out, one-third of my left kidney was dead. As time went on, that kidney damage grew into non-reactive hypoglycemia. I love you, my Angel. I'll never let you go.”

“And you’re used to regulating it with food. You’re also used to eating a certain amount to get you through a normal day. Your normal days have changed drastically. You haven’t changed your calorie intake to compensate for the calories you lose during sex. You need to think about sex like a game day. I’m sure you eat more before a game. You need to do the same when you’re wanting sex. Or at least drink a glass of juice and make sure you have one nearby.”

Dean rubbed small circles on Cas' back. “Yeah, ok. I didn't really think about that. Before Cas, sex was a non-issue. But it makes sense. I might need reminding. My head is still kinda wonky. I wish I could remember what I said when I crashed. Sammy's told me I say some fucked up shit.”

“If you really want to know, you should ask him when he’s calmer. I promise you, he’ll remember.” Luke sighed. “I’m going to order glucose tablets and gel for you. That way, if this happens again, he’ll have something to give you that will immediately help. And, if the only reason you’re not on medication for this is money, I’d suggest you get on medication.”

Dean shook his head. “Medication won't help. Since it's not related to diabetes, I just have to control it with diet. Can you check my level again now? I might need a peanut butter sandwich.”

“W-with h-h-honey.”

“Hey, Angel. Yep, sugar and protein work really good together.”

Luke nodded and checked Dean’s level. “I’m going to go make you a sandwich.” Luke walked into the kitchen. “So, did this come on suddenly tonight? It sounds like you would have noticed that you needed a snack if it has been gradual.”

“In the furniture store, I had a meltdown. At the time, I thought it was because of the price. Then, we went to Bed, Bath, and blah blah blah. I know we were talking about me restoring cars. Something about building on, or opening a shop, and home. Then, anger and fear and hunger and tired.” Dean sighed. “I ignored the symptoms. I was just so thrilled that we were on a date. God, I fucked up our date. And he looks so fucking gorgeous tonight.” Dean squeezed Cas. “I'm so sorry, Angel.”

Luke hummed. “That’s understandable, but you need to remember to take care of yourself, so things like this don’t happen.” Luke said, as he walked back in with the sandwich and another drink and handed it to Dean.

Dean took the sandwich and nodded. “I know. I know that I could have excessive sweating, tremors, vision problems, confusion, irritability, seizures, heart attack, and... and death.” He took a bite of the sandwich, chewed and swallowed. “I also need to check my sugar levels more often. Not doing it was a money issue. Testing supplies are fucking expensive in this country. I should... no, I  _ will _ go see the doctor and get another workup done.”

Luke nodded. “You need to get control of it. If not for yourself, then for him. He wants to cut right now. I can tell from his body language that he wants pain, but he’s trying his hardest to keep his promise to you.”

“I know. I can tell too. I'm so proud of him. He's being so strong, so I'm trying to be strong too. That's why I'm trying to eat and drink something and keep talking, when I really want to sleep for three days.”

Luke sighed. “This past year has been so hard on him. He used to be so happy and free. Now he’s so guarded. You’ve been good for him though.”

“He's good for me too. I love him so much.”

Luke nodded. “You’re the first one that’s wanted him for something more than his money.”

Dean finished his sandwich and took a drink of his juice. He looked at Cas, curled in his lap. “I've been without love or money. I can live without money.”

Luke laughed a little. “You won’t have to with him. Have you two discussed that yet?”

“Some. I keep trying to avoid the topic.”

“Why?”

“Like I said, I can live without money. I've done it all my life. I've also lived without love. I have love now and I know I can't live without his love. I don't want money to ever get between us. I don't want him to think that I'm after his money. I, also, don't want money to change me. You see it all the time. Someone wins the lottery and they go crazy. They buy a bunch of shit they don't need. They throw their money around so people will be impressed. They get addicted to the power that comes with having money. Then, suddenly, it's gone. They're broke and the people that they bought are gone. The people that they left behind, who used to be their friends, have moved on, and they're left alone. It sucks to be alone.”

Luke huffed a laugh. “Wow. You’re the first person he’s allowed to tell and you don’t want to know.” He said, shaking his head. “How are you going to keep from seeing the amount after your name is tied to everything? Are you wanting him to keep secret accounts so you’ll never know how much it is?”

Dean chuckled. “I'm not delusional. I know that, eventually, I'll find out just how much is there. I just don't want Cas to feel like he needs to tell me in order to keep me here. If I can avoid it, one day it will be like, oh, yeah, there's X amount of dollars in the account. I definitely don't want secrets. Keeping a secret got us right here, right now. I crashed, physically and he's a wreck, emotionally.”

Luke raised his eyebrow. “You think he wants to tell you so you’ll stay with him? You can’t possibly be that stupid, Dean. He wants to tell you, so you can stop worrying about your finances and be able to breathe a little easier. He wants to tell you because you  _ don’t _ care how much there is.”

Dean's brow furrowed and tears began to form in his eyes. “But, how do I know it won't change  _ me _ ? I.. I don't want to be one of  _ those _ people.”

“Because you don’t care about money. You spent, what? I’m assuming close to $15,000 today, and you had a meltdown. It’s a lot of money. I agree with you on that, but it’s also the first thing you’ve bought as a couple, and it’s something you needed. It’s something you’ll use every night. Would it really have made any difference if you knew he was worth a couple hundred thousand or a couple million? I don’t think it would. He could have told you he’s worth, let’s say, $500 million, and you still would have thought $15,000 is a lot to spend.”

“But how do I let all the worry go? Worry is part of my nature. I worry about Sam and Bobby and John. I worry about school and baseball and work. I worry about my friends and my enemies. I worry about money for food and shelter and now, I worry about you and Mike and Gabe and, most importantly, Cas. Tell me, Lucifer, how do I stop?!”

“Therapy and medication will help you greatly. Letting Cas help take away some of your worries will also help. I…” Luke sighed and eyed Cas’ pill bottle. He opened it and dumped one in his hand, then offered it to Dean. “Go ahead and take this. It won’t help immediately, but it’ll get it into your system before seeing the therapist.”

“What is it? Sammy did some checking once and there are a lot of antidepressants that cause problems with blood sugar.”

“It’s Paxil. It’s safe for you to take. Cas was on something else and it affected his blood sugar during games, so we got him on this.”

Dean hesitated, but sighed and took the pill. “You'll keep an eye on us? Make sure we're Ok?”

Luke gently brushed Dean’s hair back. “Of course I will. That’s why I’m here.”

“Have they delivered the bed yet?”

“Yeah. Do you have sheets for it?”

Dean fished his keys out of Cas' pocket and handed them to Luke. “In the trunk.”

Luke nodded. “You just stay here with him and I’ll get the bed ready. I’ll come back down and get him for you.” He said, as he went out to the car to get the bags.

Dean sat there on the floor, leaning against the wall, cradling Cas in his arms, while he waited for Luke to get their bed ready for them. He kissed Cas on the temple. 'Oh, Angel. We are so fucked up, huh?' Cas shifted a little in Dean’s arms.

Luke walked back in with a small smile. “Bee lights? Your idea or his?”

“Mine. Could you string up one set. I have a plan for the rest.”

Luke nodded. “Above the bed? It’s beautiful, by the way. I think it’s a good mix of both of you.”

“If you can. They run on solar or battery. So, if you can get the panel in the window, that'd be great.” Dean smiled down at Cas. “He fell in love with that bed the instant he laid eyes on it. How could I have him get any other bed?”

“I’m glad he’s finally getting a room he wants. I’m going to go set it up. Do you care which set goes on it first?”

“The lighter set, please.”

“Must be the set he chose.”

“Duh.”

Luke shook his head and went upstairs with the purchases. He put the covers on the bed and draped the lights over the top of the headboard, then fixed the panel in the window so they’d charge. He walked back down the stairs. “How are you feeling right now?”

“I'm feeling better. Not great, but better.”

Luke carefully scooped Cas up. “Can you make it up the stairs on your own?”

“Yeah. Right behind you.” Dean stood, carefully. He picked up his juice and took it with him upstairs.

Luke carried Cas to the master bedroom and gently laid him on the bed. He glanced at Dean as he entered the room. “Does it feel more like it’s yours now?”

Dean looked around and nodded. “Wow. It's great. Oh, Angel, I wish you were awake to see this.” He climbed on the bed and curled around Cas. “Thank you, Luke. For everything.”

Luke gently smacked at Dean. “Not fully dressed. Get comfortable. I’ll take care of Cas.”

Dean kissed Cas' cheek. 'I'll be right back, little bee. Mean ol' Lukey says I gotta change.' He got off of the bed and went to the bathroom to pee and get out of his clothes. He left his boxers on. Luke shook his head and got Cas out of his clothes, then pulled the covers over him.

Dean smiled at Luke as he climbed under the covers with Cas. “A couple more things before you go, Luke. Cas didn't get anything to eat. Can you bring him something that can sit out, for when he wakes up? Also, it might be a good idea to get a mini-fridge for in here... and one for the.. the playroom. Can you take care of getting those?”

Luke smiled and nodded. “I’ll make another sandwich and bag it. I’ll look online for fridges. Maybe someone could make a cabinet for the one in here, so it blends with the furniture.”

“You get the fridges and I can build the cabinet. Cas wants me to teach him about cars and woodworking. The cabinet would be a great project.”

Luke nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Go ahead and rest. I’ll bring the sandwich and a drink up in a little bit. No alarms. He won’t be up to school in the morning and I’m pretty sure you won’t either.”

“Remind me to call Jody in the morning. She's gonna have a problem with me, if I miss too many days.”

“Ok. If it becomes an issue, then I can take responsibility for you, so you can continue to live here. I just want you to know that nobody will make you leave your house.”

“Thank you.”

Luke nodded. “Now get some rest.” He said as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Dean curled tighter around Cas. 'Sleep well, my Angel. I promise, we'll get this figured out. I love you with all that I am.' He kissed Cas softly on the cheek and settled in to sleep.

Luke snuck in later and smiled at the sleeping couple as he put two sandwiches and two drinks on the side table, then quietly slipped back out.


	30. Chapter 30

Cas walked into the living room with a drink in each hand. He handed one to Dean, then sat on the floor beside his feet and took a sip of his own. “Uh, thanks, Angel?”

Cas took another sip. “You’re welcome.”

Dean looked at Cas in confusion. “Um, Angel? Why are you on the floor?”

Cas stopped mid-drink and shrugged. “I just wanted to sit here…” Luke glanced at them from over his paper.

Dean opened his mouth like he was going to protest, but closed it again. He sighed. “Ok. I guess.” Dean stared at the TV until Cas looked away. He wiped his eyes, quickly, then continued to watch the show.

Cas shifted onto his knees and laid his head on Dean’s leg. Dean, instinctively, tangled his fingers in Cas' hair. Cas sighed happily and shifted closer. Luke smiled and went back to his paper.

“Excuse me.” Dean got up and went to the kitchen. Once there, he started pacing and rubbing the back of his neck.

Cas furrowed his brow. “Dean?”

Dean stopped pacing, but stayed in the kitchen. He took a breath. “Yeah, Cas?”

Cas’ eyes widened slightly and he got up quickly, then went to the doorway to the kitchen. “...Is everything ok?”

Dean looked at the floor and mumbled. “I dunno. You tell me.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “Huh? Did I do something wrong?”

Dean's eyes shot up to look at Cas' face. “I'm not Mike. You don't need to submit to me.”

Cas took a step back. “I...I wanted to. I’m sorry.”

Dean ran his hand through his hair. “I don't understand, Angel. You don't want to be a sub, but you just knelt out there like a sub. Am I supposed to go all Dom on you now? In front of Luke?” Dean started pacing again. “Talk to me, Angel. I just thought we were watching TV .”

Cas wiped at his eyes. ‘I just wanted... I thought you were ok with it... you gave me praise...’ Cas wiped away a tear that fell. “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.”

“Wait, Angel. What do you mean, I gave you praise?” Dean reached out to try and comfort Cas. “Please... just talk to me.”

Cas wiped at his eyes and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. You weren’t ok with it. You didn’t mean it. I wasn’t good.”

Luke walked up behind Cas and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. “You played with his hair. That means you were happy with him. You were praising him for being a good sub.”

“I..” 'I didn't know' “I mean, when you went out there , and brought me a drink, that was sweet, but then you sat on the floor. It was lonely, like you didn't want to be beside me. I liked when you laid your head on my leg, but then I saw you went to kneeling and I panicked.”

“And why did you panic? You thought he wanted you to ‘go all Dom on him’? What does that even mean? Did you think he was asking for whips and chains?”

Dean looked at the floor and nodded. 'Or for me to fuck him, right there, with you in the room. This is new to me.'

Luke straightened a little more. “So that’s what you think I do. You think I only use or abuse my subs.”

Dean shrugged. “I dunno.”

Luke shook his head. “What the hell did Mike teach you?”

'That I'm useless... And aftercare.'

Cas wiped at his eyes. “Mike yelled at him and didn’t teach him anything.”

Luke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “He did want you to be a Dom, but not how you’re thinking. You were doing exactly what Cas needed. He was looking for praise.”

Dean sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “I don't understand. I thought Dom was short for Domination.”

Luke raised his eyebrow. “It’s Dominant and submissive. You’re right that Cas has never wanted to be a sub. He never wanted to try, until he met you. He told me he wanted to try being submissive with you. I told him to discuss it with you. Clearly he didn’t.” Luke said, as Cas looked down.

“I don't want to be dominant all the time. I... I need…”

Cas looked up at Dean. “I don’t want you to always be dominant. I like when you’re submissive. I like having you tied up.”

Dean looked at Cas and smiled shyly. “Yeah. Me too. I... we should have talked about this  _ before _ you sprung it on me, Sunshine.” Dean stepped closer to Cas and reached for his hand. “I'm sorry I freaked, Angel.”

Cas gently took Dean’s hand. “I didn’t think you’d freak about that. I thought you’d freak about me wanting to wear a collar.”

Dean blinked slowly. “Wh-what kind of collar? Are you wanting to wear it in public... like at school?”

Cas shrugged. “Maybe.”

Dean led Cas to the kitchen table and they sat. “Can you explain why you want to wear a collar, Angel? I don't understand that. I don't want to treat you like a slave or a pet. What kind of collar, Angel?”

Cas furrowed his brow. “Just a regular collar. One that shows I belong to you.”

Dean bit his lip. “Are you wanting me to wear one?”

Cas shook his head. “I wouldn’t make you do anything you don’t want. It’s not like we live that lifestyle.” Dean nodded. “You don’t want to do any of this, do you?”

Dean looked at Cas and saw hope that he would want to and sadness that he wouldn't. “I want to try.. for you, Angel.” Then, he turned to Luke, who was still standing in the doorway. “But I don't know what to do. I'll need help.” Cas smiled a little.

Luke nodded. “Honestly, what you two want to do isn’t too far off from what you’re normally doing. I’m assuming Cas just wants to play the part of a submissive sometimes. Like how he knelt next to you. You’re just wanting simple things, right? Like being fed and being a cock warmer. Things like that.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah.”

“Ok, wait. Cock warmer?”

Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. “Can I show you?”

Dean blushed. 'Is that something we could do in front of Luke? Because it doesn't sound like it.'

Cas glanced back at Luke as he ran his hand up Dean’s thigh. “He won’t be able to see anything.”

Dean nodded and exhaled. 'Yeah... ok... '

Cas smiled. “I think you’ll like it.” He said as he slipped under the table and crawled over to Dean. He settled on his knees between Dean’s legs and undid his pants, then pulled his cock out and put it in his mouth.

Dean's breath caught in his throat. “Isn't this just a blow job?”

Luke chuckled. “Nope. He’s not supposed to move or suck unless you say he should. A cock warmers job is to keep your cock warm. Most subs prefer to use their mouths, but he could sit in your lap with you inside him, but again, no movement. Or he could just hold you in his hand.”

Dean looked down at Cas. His arms were wrapped around Dean's hips and his head was tilted, laying his cheek on Dean's thigh. “So, I praise him by running my fingers through his hair? Is that the only way? What about if he did something wrong?”

“You can praise and discipline in any way that you want. But yeah, playing with your sub’s hair when they’re doing something like this is a well known way to praise. I’ve had subs that discipline was yanking on their hair and scolding them or it could be using a whip or paddle. If the sub continues to misbehave, then the discipline is harsher.”

“Ok.” Dean ran his fingers through the dark hair. “It's weird to just sit here. I mean, it's nice, but…”

“It would be better if you had something else to do, like eating, reading or watching tv, right?”

“Yeah.” Cas sighed happily and closed his eyes at Dean’s touch.

Luke nodded. “I have subs that like for me to read to them while they’re in a submissive position. Some are just content and I’ll get work done while they’re like that. It’d also be possible for you to eat while he’s like that since he’s interested in you feeding him sometimes.”

“So, how long would we stay like this? I just... I don't want to screw up again.”

“You only screw up if you don’t learn from your mistakes. Remember that, Dean. As for how long, that’s up to you two. If you’re in control, as in you told him to be submissive, then you decide. Today either of you could decide since he was just demonstrating what cock warming was.” Luke thought for a moment. “Would you like a collar for him? I might have an extra you can have.”

Dean gasped and Luke looked at him, questioningly. “Sorry. He hummed. I think he'd like the collar, but I want to see it first. If it's gonna be something that says he's mine, I want to approve it.”

Luke chuckled. “I completely understand. It could just be a temporary one until you find one you like. I’ll be right back.”

Luke went upstairs and dug through his stuff and returned with a few collars. “I figure he wants leather.” He said as he placed a black leather collar with green Celtic design around it on the table. “I know you’re hesitant to wear one, but I do have one in blue .” He said as he placed it beside the green one.

Dean ran his fingers over the green knot pattern. “I think this is a great one for Cas. The green shows he's mine.”

Luke nodded. “Right.” He pulled two green and blue chainmail collars out. “These could be for everyday wear.”

Dean looked at the collars in awe. He lightly brushed his fingertips over the blue and green links. “How? Why? They're perfect.” Dean just shook his head in amazement. Luke "just happened" to have the most perfect collars for him and Cas. Dean hadn't even wanted to wear a collar, until he saw the ones Luke presented. “Thank you, Luke.”

Luke smiled. “You’re welcome.”

Dean brushed his thumb across Cas' cheek. “Angel, come on up here and look at what Luke brought us.”

Cas pulled away from Dean and kissed his cock before putting it back into his pants. He came out from under the table and looked at the collars before running his fingers over the chainmail ones. “How long did these take you?”

Luke smirked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Obviously I'm missing something.” Dean said as he glanced between the brothers.

“He makes collars for his subs. If he had extras, they wouldn’t be this decorative because they’d be temporary collars. He didn’t want to tell you that, so you wouldn’t feel like you had to take them.”

Luke shrugged. “So, I’ve been working on these for a few days. It still doesn’t mean you have to use them.”

“They are beautiful. Perfect. I loved them immediately, but even more so, knowing that you made them for us.” Dean caressed the leather and smiled.

Luke smiled. “I’m glad you like them.”

Cas picked up the blue leather collar. “Can I try it on you?” Dean took a breath, let it out, then nodded. Cas moved behind Dean and carefully buckled the collar in place, making sure it wasn’t too tight. He leaned over and kissed the skin below and above the buckle. “How does it feel, Cowboy?”

Dean's eyes drifted closed as he ran his fingers across the leather. He sighed softly and smiled. “Yeah, ok. I think I understand why you wanted a collar now.”

Cas gently wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed his cheek. “Does it remind you of being bound?”

Dean nodded. “Yes. That's it, exactly. I couldn't place it, but it does remind me of the calm I felt when I was bound.”

Cas smiled. “Good. Hopefully the other one will give you the same feeling. Do you want to put mine on me?”

Dean picked up the other collar and placed it around Cas' neck, just like his. He checked the fit and kissed Cas' skin the way Cas had kissed his. “Well, Desperado?”

Cas sighed happily and smiled. “So much better than the last time I wore one. It feels amazing.”

Dean swiped his thumb along the edge of Cas' collar. “It  _ looks _ amazing, Angel. What was so bad about the last time you wore one?”

Cas smiled and kissed Dean. “It wasn’t yours.”

Dean smiled. “Mine will be the last one you wear, Sunshine.”

Cas straddled Dean’s lap and kissed along his jawline. “So you’re ok with all of this? You’re ok with me being submissive, outside of us having sex, sometimes?”

Dean rested his hands on Cas' hips. He tilted his head to give Cas more access to his jaw and neck. “Yeah. As long as it's only sometimes. I still want to talk about what we do and would like a warning that we're going to start.”

Cas licked along the edge of the collar. “How much warning would you need? Would I just be able to say I want to kneel by your feet or I want to warm your cock and then be able to do it? Or would it have to be planned?”

Dean shivered. “Most of the time, just say something. If I'm not feeling it then, I'll let you know. I just don't want you to go ahead and do it without saying something. I don't want to upset you, if you just start and I'm not feeling very dominant right then.”

Cas pulled back a little with a raised eyebrow and waited for Dean to look at him. “Do you really have to feel dominant for me to be on the floor with my head on your leg or have your cock in my mouth?”

Dean shrugged. “I dunno. This is new to me. What if it's when I need you to take charge?”

Cas smirked. “Then I’ll tell you to sit there and do your homework while I hold your cock in my mouth and you’re not allowed to get hard from it.” Luke chuckled.

Dean grinned and shook his head. “You're a brat, you know that, Angel?”

Cas nodded and nipped at Dean’s lips. “I’m your brat.”

“He’s been one ever since he was born.”

Dean turned to Luke and laughed. “I believe it.” He turned back to Cas and captured his lips in a light-hearted kiss.

Cas returned the kiss as he hooked his finger in Dean’s collar and pulled them together harder. He smirked against Dean’s lips. “You’re mine, Winchester.”

“Always and forever.” Cas smiled wide.

“Would you like to discuss the other collars?”

“Sure. Angel?” Cas nipped at Dean’s lip, then laid his head on his shoulder.

“He already knows how they work. You basically have three options of how they close. One is it’d be a continuous chain. I’d have to complete it on you and it can’t be removed without tools. Another is using a larger ring to connect the ends. That ring is typically worn at the front and others from the BDSM community would recognize it as being a claiming collar. The third is a lock and again, it would be recognized by the community. That’s also the only one you can easily remove without tools.”

Dean swallowed nervously. “I... uhhh…”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “There’s no wrong answer, Honeybee.”

Luke put a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder. “If you’d be more comfortable with a clasp, then I can put one on it. I’ve done that for subs that only come over for a little while, then go back to their regular lives.”

Dean nodded. “Can we do the clasp for now and change it later if I want?”

Luke nodded and glanced at Cas when he bit his lip. “Yeah. We can do that.”

“I mean, I'll probably end up wearing it all the time, but I'm not sure how Coach would take it. We're not supposed to wear jewelry at games.”

Luke nodded. “I understand. How would you like yours, Cas?”

“Permanent, with the large ring.”

“How tight do people usually wear them?”

Luke glanced from Cas to Dean. “Typically they’re worn like a collar, but low enough that a leather collar can be worn above it. But, some people wear them more like a necklace.”

Dean looked at Cas. He held the chain up to Cas' neck. “Where do you want yours? Up here, with very little slack? Looser? Fuck, that looks sexy against your skin.”

“I want it like a collar would be. I don’t want any slack.”

Dean moaned and tightened the chain until there wasn't any slack, but not choking. He licked the strip of skin between the chain and leather collar. “Beautiful. My beautiful Angel.”

Cas swallowed hard and closed his eyes. “What about you? How do you want yours?”

Dean thought for a moment and ran his fingers along the edges of his leather collar. “I can't wear it as tight as that. I'd end up taking it off, and I don't want to do that. I'm yours. I know that if I get a clasp put on it would make it seem like I'm not committed to you. I don't want that, either. I can't do the ring or solid piece, because I don't want someone coming after me with bolt cutters since I can't get it off without tools.”

Dean looked at Luke. “What do the locks look like? Do you have one that would blend in, wouldn't stand out to say, "That dude's got a lock on his chain. What's that about?" Cas will be the only one with the key, but I don't need all the looks and questions.”

Luke laughed a little. “Nobody would come after you with bolt cutters. I use pliers to put it together and take them off. But, yes. I do have some locks that should blend. But, they are just simple padlocks.”

Dean smiled. “I didn't mean you. I know you wouldn't destroy your work like that. I was talking about Coach or somewhere I might have to go through a metal detector or if I have to have an x-ray or MRI or something.”

Cas kissed Dean’s cheek. “I’ll be back. Bathroom.” He said then left the room.

Luke watched Cas walk out, then let out a breath as he fell into a chair. “I’m so sorry. I never should have suggested the clasp.”

“It's not your fault. He doesn't say it, but I know he's waiting for me to change my mind about him, us. By asking for the clasp, I just reinforced that doubt.” Dean wiped his hand down his face.

“This is all so new to me. Did he tell you that we think I might be demisexual? That the only reason Cas wasn't my first sexual partner was I had sex with two girls from school to prove to my drunken, abusive father that he "didn't raise no fuckin' faggot" and have him beat the shit out of me for that? What kind of father thinks that if a 15-year-old boy isn't having sex with  _ anyone _ , they must be gay? And what business is it of his that I AM gay? It's not like he's even around. For all he knows or cares, I could be taking it up the ass from a horse in Tijuana... 'or dead.'”

Dean suddenly realized that he'd gotten up and started pacing the kitchen during his rant and, at some point, started crying. He found himself, with his back to the corner, sliding down the wall. 'I'm sorry.'

Luke sighed. “I’m not going to lie and say you didn’t make him doubt things and that’s my fault. Anyone that wants a clasp is typically just wearing it as a necklace or for fun, which is not what you’re wanting.”

Luke sighed and sat beside Dean with his arm around him. “He has told me about your past and your dad. Your father was wrong for what he put you through. Our parents were wrong for what they put us through. None of us should have been exposed to sex as early as we were.”

Luke gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Cas is scared. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he’s afraid that you’ll want someone more submissive than him or less submissive than him. He’s seen subs and Doms come and go. Has he told you about Gabe?”

Dean sniffled and wiped at his eyes. He shook his head. “No. What about him?”

“Gabe was with a Dom. She was everything he ever wanted. He was happy and in love with her. He wanted to marry her. But that’s not what she wanted. She became very abusive. Mike had to step in and remove him from the situation. That’s why he’s so submissive to him. But he’s not happy there.”

Luke looked at Dean. “We all had to see Gabe go from being happy and carefree to beat down and unhappy. It was hard on all of us, but even harder on Cas because he was with Balth at the time. He hasn’t recovered from that, you know.”

“But... Gabe seems so happy most of the time. Well, from what I've seen, anyway. Nervous and anxious sometimes, but so are Cas and I.”

Dean picked at a random thread on his jeans. “I don't want him to ever think I could treat him the way Balth did. I love him way too much to do that. I know people think that we're moving too fast, that two 17-year-olds shouldn't be engaged after only knowing each other a few months, but I don't care what they think. I can't be without him. He's everything to me. What do I do, Luke?”

Luke hooked his finger in the ring on the collar and gently tugged on it. “Balthazar would have never worn one of these. He was in charge. The collar he had Cas in was what we consider a pet collar. It was pink and had a bell on it. Cas hated it.”

“The collar you’re currently wearing is considered a protection collar. If you were to go to a club and had that on, everyone would know you’re submissive and that you are taken. Anytime you wear it, Cas is responsible for you and anything that happens to you. I’m assuming you’ll use it as more of a play collar. You’ll probably only wear them while being submissive in a scene.”

Luke picked up the chainmail collar. “These are permanent collars. These say you’re a permanent couple. In our world, these are as serious as a wedding band. You don’t just remove them unless you absolutely have to. Like you said, you can’t wear them during an MRI. But taking it off just to take it off? That usually means you’ve ended the relationship.” Luke looked at Dean. “Are you ready for that?”

Dean didn't have to think twice about it. “Yes. I don't want to be without Castiel, ever. He has my heart. How can I live without my heart?”

“Then you’re already doing what you need to do. You can’t keep him from having doubts, but he’s having fewer doubts the longer he’s with you. And you wearing this?” Luke held up the chainmail collar. “When he sees this locked on you he’ll have even fewer doubts.”

Dean took the collar from Luke. He loved everything about it. The way it felt against his skin, the way the blue links twisted and tangled with the green links. “If I'd known what they meant, I'd never have even thought about a clasp. I still need to have the lock. I only want it to come off when it has to and I want Cas to have the only key. That way, he knows when and why it needs to come off and is there to put it back on.”

Luke nodded. “And that’s my fault. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that you don’t know everything about this lifestyle. Like I said, I never should have suggested the clasp. I only use clasps for people who aren’t serious about wearing a collar. And I’m glad you only want him to have a key. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Only he can remove your collar and only you can remove his. Now, should there be an emergency and it has to be cut, that’s different and the damage will be repaired.”

Dean nodded. “Cas has been gone a while. I should go check on him.”

Luke nodded. “Go check on him. I’ll be here if you need me.”

Dean got up and went to the bathroom and knocked on the door. “Angel? Are you Ok?”

“I’m in here.” Cas said from the bedroom.

“Can I come in? Luke told me what the chains mean.”

“Doors open.”

Dean opened the door and walked in. He leaned against the dresser and looked at Cas. “I understand now.”

Cas nodded. “I know. I heard y’all talking so I came in here to wait.”

“So you know that I only want you to have the key to the lock? I don't  _ want _ it to come off. But if something happens... like with my back... I want  _ you _ to take it off and be there to put it back on as soon as possible. I'm yours. I want people to know. Marriage in the eyes of the state has to wait. Marriage in the eyes of your brothers and those in the lifestyle, I'm ready. Always and forever, Castiel James.”

Cas wiped his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. But you need a key, too. If there’s an emergency then you need to be able to remove it yourself.”

Dean shook his head. “If there's an emergency, they can cut it off and Luke can fix it. If being able to take it off for an emergency was truly an issue, you'd have a lock with two keys too, and you know it, little bee. I want  _ you _ to be the only person to take my chain off of me, and I pray that it never happens.”

Cas touched his neck. “Mine will kinda have a key. The ring I want has screws that take a special bit.”

“And are you gonna carry that special bit with you all the time?”

Cas looked at Dean. “If you want me to.”

“Do you need to have the security of carrying it? I trust that you won't take it off, unless it was an emergency, but if it makes you feel safer to carry the bit, I trust you. If you need me to carry a key, you can trust me that I'll only ever use it in an emergency.”

Cas pulled Dean down on top of himself. “I don’t need to carry it to make me feel safer. I think it’ll make you feel like I’m safer. What if something happens and nobody has something to cut the collar with? If something happened to you and you having access to remove the collar meant life or death? I’d never forgive myself if I’d made it so you couldn’t remove it yourself.”

“Should we ask Luke? Honestly, if it's that bad of an emergency, we won't be conscious, so we wouldn't be able to use the bit or key ourselves or even tell anyone about them.”

Cas shrugged as he held Dean. “Lots of people wear metal collars. Some are solid metal. I’ve never heard of anyone having an issue like that. I just…” Cas sighed. “I’ve seen you take your ring off so your finger can breathe. What if you need to do that with the collar? I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck in it. I don’t want you to have anxiety because you’re afraid of what I’ll say or how I’ll feel.”

Dean laid his head on Cas' chest, facing the open door. “Luke? Are you hovering out there?”

“Guilty.” Cas shook his head.

“You Novak's are so much alike. Come on in, teach us the ways of the force, Yoda.”

Luke walked into the room and shrugged. “You were concerned since he’d been gone for so long. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t needed.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “So, what are you wanting to know?”

“Obviously, I'd want to have the bit to open Cas' chain in case of emergency and I want him to have my key. But, should I carry a key and Angel carry a bit, just in case? I don't think it's necessary, but is it a common safety concern?”

“Not really. Doms have complete control. Subs never have a key. But you two are switches so it’s a little different with you.”

“So, if I'm fine not having a key to my own collar, it's Ok, unless Sunshine needs me to have it?”

“Right, but I do agree with him. You should probably carry one for a while. Having it around your neck with no way to remove it could trigger your anxiety, since you’re not used to wearing one.”

“That makes sense. I want to leave it on though. So, having mine looser than his, but not so loose that I can slip it off is a good idea for the anxiety too, right?”

“Yeah, but so does the knowledge that you  _ can  _ take it off, if you needed to. You wouldn’t have to take it off. I’ve had a sub have anxiety over a collar and I allowed them to grab the key and unlock the lock, but not remove the collar. Once she’d calmed down she locked it and put the key back on the table. If you don’t want to do that and don’t want a looser collar, then I’d suggest that every day you remove each other’s collars for a while. Maybe have them off for a shower or something. The last thing you want is for it to feel like a weight around your neck.”

Dean was gliding his fingers up and down Cas' arm during the conversation, unconsciously soothing Cas. “So, me having a key, or you having the bit, is a sign of trust. Right, Angel? Because I do trust you, with everything.”

Cas nodded. “Yeah.”

“Ok.” Dean turned his head, so he could look into Cas' eyes. “I'm already yours. I'm ready for everyone to know it.”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “So you’re ready for the metal one?”

“More than ready. I've been itching to wear it since Luke first showed it to me. I might not have known fully what it meant, but I knew, deep down, that it belonged around my neck.”

Cas looked at Luke. Luke pulled the chains out and picked up a small kit he’d brought in with him. “Sit up.” After Dean and Cas sat up, Luke put the collar around Dean’s neck. He made sure it wasn’t too tight, but not very loose. “What do you think of that?”

Dean touched the chain, feeling how it set just above his collarbone. His eyelids fluttered as he sighed. Then he cleared his throat. “Yeah. That's perfect.”

Luke pulled the collar away and removed the extra length, then added the lock and handed it to Cas. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Cas removed the leather collar, then put the chainmail one around Dean’s neck and locked it in place. “How does it feel, Honeybee?”

Dean reached his hand up into Cas' hair at the back of his head and pulled him in for a bruising kiss. “It's wonderful. Thank you, Angel. Thank you, Luke.”

Cas blinked a few times. “You’re welcome.”

Luke laughed a little. “You’re welcome.”

He picked up Cas’ collar and put the large ring through one end, then put it around Cas’ neck. “Like that?”

Cas smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”

Luke pulled the chain away and adjusted the length, then handed it to Dean with the tool.

Dean removed the leather collar and placed the chainmail collar around Cas' neck. He carefully fed the ring through the other end. Then he assembled the final piece and screwed it in place. “There you go, Angel. How's that?”

Cas touched the collar as he sniffled and wiped at his eyes. ‘I love you.’

Dean pulled Cas in for a tender kiss. 'I love you too, Castiel James, my Angel.'

Cas smiled softly. ‘I can’t wait to be a Winchester.’

Dean caressed Cas' cheek. 'In my heart, you already are, Sunshine.'

Cas smiled and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. ‘Summer is too far away.’

'It'll be here before you know it.'

Cas shook his head against Dean’s shoulder. ‘It’ll take forever.’

'I'm sorry, Angel. I know you can hang on, for me.'

Cas sighed and nodded. ‘For you.’

Dean kissed Cas on the forehead. “Thank you, Angel. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you so much and I'm not going anywhere.” 'I'm not Balth.'

Cas nodded. ‘I know.’

'I love you. I want you to be my husband. We've just taken another step closer to that. We'll get there. I swear on my mother's grave, I will make you a Winchester.'

Cas nodded and snuggled closer to Dean. Luke slipped from the room, quietly. Cas gently ran his fingers up and down Dean’s collar.

Dean shivered. “This could be an incredible turn on, Angel.”

Cas laughed a little as he continued. “Really?”

“Maybe it's just you that turns me on.”

Cas slipped his finger between the collar and Dean’s neck and continued moving it. “Maybe.”

Dean traced his fingers along Cas' collar. “I love you, Angel.”

Cas smiled. “I love you, too.”

Dean kissed Cas softly. “I'm sorry I freaked out about the sub thing earlier, but I'm glad it got us here. I love seeing you in that collar.”

“Me, too. It doesn’t feel restricting yet, does it?”

“No, not at all. It feels wonderful.”

Cas smiled a little. “Good. I never would have worn one of these for him, you know.”

Dean nodded. “I know. Luke told me about the pet collar you wore. I never want you to feel like a pet.”

Cas nodded. “Did he tell you it actually came from a pet store? He couldn’t even be bothered to get a real collar.”

“I'm sorry you had to go through that with him.”

Cas shrugged. “I was used to how Mike bossed us around. He was more like Mike. You’re more like Luke, but without the pain.”

“Wait, did Luke hurt you? I thought he was your favorite.”

“No! I mean he likes giving pain. You don’t.”

Dean let out a relieved breath. “That's good. I didn't want to have to start hating him. I don't want anyone hurting you.”

“The last time Luke hurt me I was probably five and I more than likely deserved it. I’m pretty sure I broke a diorama he’d been working on all week.”

“Oh, so you were naughty back then too, huh?”

Cas shrugged. “Gabe was chasing me. I’m not sure who bumped it and knocked it off, but Gabe was better at hiding.”

“Sammy has broken plenty of my school projects too.”

Cas smiled. “I think that’s a requirement for little brothers.”

“Yeah. Hey, do you want to go back down and watch some more tv? If you want, I can put your leather collar back on you.”

Cas pulled back a little and looked at Dean. “And let me sub?”

Dean caressed Cas' cheek. “Yes, Angel. Now that I know it's gonna happen, I'm prepared.”

Cas nuzzled into Dean’s hand and closed his eyes. ‘Yes. Please.’

Dean picked up the leather collar and buckled it around Cas' neck, above the chain. “How does that feel, Sunshine? Not too tight?”

Cas shook his head. “No, sir. It’s perfect.”

Dean smiled and ran his fingers through Cas' hair. “Alright, Angel, go on down and find something to watch on tv. I'll be right down.”

Cas nodded and went downstairs. He looked through the channels and found something to watch. Dean changed into a pair of pajamas and went downstairs. Cas sat on the couch with a show about classic cars paused on the TV.

Dean went to the kitchen and got a tray of meat and cheese, then grabbed some crackers and went to the living room. He sat on the couch next to Cas. “What did you find to watch, Angel?”

Cas smiled at Dean. “A show about classic cars.”

Dean motioned for Cas to start the program. He leaned back and let Cas make himself comfortable. Cas glanced at Dean then slowly leaned against him.

Dean shifted and settled his arm across Cas' shoulder, letting him lean closer. “This is a great show, Angel. Thank you.”

Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. “You’re welcome.”

Luke glanced at them from the other room, then picked up his phone and sent Dean a text.  _ You have to give him direction. When he has the collar on he’s supposed to be submissive. You need to figure out what to call him while he’s your sub. _

“Sweetheart, get me that tray.” Dean pointed to the tray of snacks he left sitting on the coffee table. Cas shifted forward, picked up the tray, then held it out to Dean.

Dean took the tray. “Kneel down, Sweetheart.”

“Yes, sir.” Cas shifted so he was kneeling on the floor beside Dean.

Dean set the tray down where Cas had been sitting and ran his fingers through Cas' hair. He picked up some of the meat and cheese for himself and popped it into his mouth. Then he picked up a piece of meat and cheese for Cas. “Open up, Sweetheart.”

Cas opened his mouth and waited. Dean placed the snack in his mouth. Cas closed his mouth around the snack, then chewed and swallowed it.

Dean smiled and rubbed his thumb lightly over Cas' bottom lip. “Tell me, Sweetheart, do you like this snack?”

Cas sucked Dean’s thumb into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Dean ate a few more pieces with some of the crackers and fed some to Cas. When the program was over, he picked up the remote. “Sweetheart, take the tray back to the kitchen, find Luke and ask him to make something for dinner, his choice, then come back here.”

Cas smiled and nodded. “Yes, sir.” He stood up and grabbed the tray, then went into the kitchen and cleaned it. He went to where Luke was. “Luke? Dean asked if you could make something for dinner. Your choice.”

Luke nodded. “Yes. Of course.”

Cas smiled and nodded. He walked back to where Dean was and knelt in the same location he had been in. “Luke says he’ll make dinner, sir.”

Dean nodded and carded his fingers through Cas' hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. “Good boy, Sweetheart.” Dean pressed play on the nature program he had found. “Good boys get rewards. Sit up here, in my lap, Sweetheart.”

Cas smiled brightly and moved into Dean’s lap, snuggling against him. “Thank you, sir.”

Dean sent Luke a quick text.  _ I hope I'm doing Ok. I'd like some tips, after.  _ 'Sweetheart, take my dick out. Just hold it. I want to feel your hand on it.'

_ You’re doing fine. _

Cas shifted a little and undid Dean’s pants, then pulled out his dick and held it. “Like this, sir?”

Dean smiled. “Very good, Sweetheart. Lay your head on my shoulder and watch the program. It should be one you like.” Cas snuggled closer and laid his head on Dean’s shoulder. They sat like that while the program played, Dean ran his fingers up and down Cas' arm. Dean eventually traced a finger along the edge of the leather collar. “This looks so beautiful on you, Sweetheart.”

Cas smiled. “Thank you.”

Luke cleared his throat as he entered the room. “Dinner is ready, Dean.”

Dean glanced over his shoulder at Luke. “Thanks, man. What are we having?”

“Steak kabobs, loaded baked potatoes, and green beans.”

“Thanks. We'll be there in a few minutes.” Luke left the room. Dean bit his lip as he looked at Cas. “Ok... um, put my dick away, Sweetheart.” 

Cas gently put Dean’s dick away and kissed him softly. “We can stop now if you want to, Honeybee. If you’d like to continue during dinner then that’s fine, too.”

Dean nodded. “Let's stop for tonight. We can go longer later. Right now, I want dinner with my fiancé.” He kissed Cas. “Thank you. How do we end this?”

Cas smiled. “Just take the collar off me, sir.”

Dean smiled, reached behind Cas' neck and unbuckled the collar. He kissed his throat as he removed it. “You did so good, Angel. Ready for dinner?”

Cas caressed Dean’s cheek. “You did very well, too.” He kissed Dean softly. “Yes. I’m ready.” They got up and headed to the kitchen, hand in hand.

Luke looked at the couple as he put their plates on the table. “How did that go? Any questions or concerns from either of you?”

Cas smiled and shook his head. “He did better than I expected since it was his first time. I thought you’d have to coach him, but Dean’s a natural.” He said as he squeezed Dean’s hand.

Dean blushed and looked down. “Well, to be honest, Angel, Luke did help me out a little bit. Earlier, you just slipped into the role and got on your knees on your own. This time, I had to tell you and I didn't know about calling you something different. I still have a lot to learn.”

Cas shook his head. “He only texted you once. He didn’t tell you to have me do everything you told me to do. You did a lot of that on your own. You just needed a little help to get you started and that’s ok.” He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You did an amazing job.”

Dean shrugged. “I just felt like I was forcing it. I'm sure I'll get more comfortable in time. Maybe we should switch sometime, so you can show me what you expect, Angel.”

Cas smiled softly. “It didn’t feel forced on my end.” He leaned close and nibbled on Dean’s ear. “I’ll dominate you anytime, Cowboy.”

Dean shivered. “Keep that up, Desperado, and we'll never eat dinner.”

Cas bit Dean’s earlobe. “Yes we would. I’d collar you and hand feed you.” Dean whimpered. Cas licked at the sensitive spot on Dean’s neck. “But you don’t want that, do you?”

Dean slipped his index finger through the ring on Cas' collar and gave it a slight tug. “Why don't we just enjoy these for tonight, Angel? You can Dominate me on another day.”

Cas slowly pulled back and caressed Dean’s cheek. “Babe, you’re giving mixed signals so I’ll let you decide what we do. Do you want to just sit and eat, like normal, or do you want to sub while we eat?”

Panic flashed through Dean's eyes. He bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck. He was intrigued by the thought of wearing his new collar, submitting and being fed, but he was nervous. Dean trusted Cas, but to give up all control was scary. He didn't want to disappoint Cas. “I... uhh... I don't know what I want, Cas. I'm sorry.” Dean wrapped his arms around his middle and hung his head.

Cas gently lifted Dean’s chin. “How about I get your collar and we try it. If it’s too much then you’ll have permission to remove the collar without asking.”

Dean chewed on his lip, then nodded. “Ok.” Cas kissed Dean softly and went upstairs.

Luke looked at Dean. “Afraid to give up control?”

Dean looked down again. 'Yeah'

“He won’t abuse it. If you think about it, you really aren’t completely giving up control. He did give you an out. You’re able to stop it at anytime.”

“I know. Logically, I know. It's just.... hard.”

Luke nodded. “I know. Even I give up control sometimes.”

Dean's eyes shot up. “Really?! I find that hard to believe.”

Luke smiled a little. “Subs don’t come to me to give me pain, Dean. I have to go to another Dom for that.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I knew it'd have to be another Dom, or at least a switch, I'm not an idjit. I meant that I find it hard to believe that you're a switch.”

Luke laughed. “I wouldn’t really consider myself a switch. I don’t do it that often. I mainly do it when I need release. Sometimes it’s nice to let someone else be in control for once.”

“Does it scare you? To give up the control?”

Luke shrugged. “It did in the beginning. It’s much easier now. But, anytime I have to find someone new, it can be intimidating.”

“So, it isn't a complete and total loss of control. That helps. I've been in situations where I had zero control, with no chance of getting it back until they gave it back.” Dean nodded. “Ok, I can do this.”

“Cas would never take all your control away. No good Dom would. While you have the collar on, he is in charge because you allow him to be in charge. You say your safeword and it all stops. The collar comes off and you’re back to being just Cas and Dean.”

Cas walked into the room with the collar. “You ready?”

“Yes.”

Cas put the collar on Dean and tugged lightly on the ring. “Yes, what?”

Dean lowered his eyes. “Yes, sir.”

Cas gently lifted Dean’s chin. “Very good. Will kneeling on the floor hurt your back?”

“I don't know, sir. I don't kneel much.”

Cas nodded. “Go grab a pillow from the living room, any pillow you want, and bring in back in here. Put it by my feet and kneel beside me.” He said then sat in his chair.

Dean nodded. “Yes, sir.” He hurried to the living room and grabbed the large square pillow that he used to sit on when he read. It was soft and cushiony and about 2 foot by 2 foot. Dean took the pillow back to the kitchen, placed it by Cas' feet and knelt on it, as he had been instructed.

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, then caressed his cheek. “Very good.” Cas got a piece of steak on a fork and held it to Dean’s mouth.

Dean opened his mouth to take the food. Cas smiled and put the food in Dean’s mouth, then took a bite for himself. Dean moaned around the bit of steak. He almost told Luke how wonderful it tasted, but stopped himself. Instead, he chewed and swallowed the bite, then licked his lips.

“What do you think of it, Cowboy?”

“It's delicious, sir.”

Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek. “You can tell Luke what you think about it, if you’d like.”

“Mr. Luke, the steak is delicious. Thank you for preparing it.”

“You’re very welcome, Dean. It was my pleasure.”

Cas smiled and played with Dean’s hair, then fed him some potatoes. “How’s your back doing?”

Dean chewed and swallowed the potatoes, humming happily at the taste. “It feels fine, sir.”

Cas took another bite and nodded. “If it starts to bother you, I expect you to say something.”

Cas continued to feed Dean and himself until the plates were both cleaned. He gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You’re doing so good, Cowboy.”

Dean leaned into the touch. “Thank you, sir.”

Cas played with Dean’s hair more. “Pull my dick out and keep it warm for me.”

Dean reached over and gently pulled Cas' dick from his pants. He swallowed. “Sir? Do you have a preference on how I keep it warm?”

Cas ran his fingers down the side of Dean’s face and down his jawline. “I don’t have a preference.” Dean smiled and tilted his head enough to slide the soft dick in his mouth. He fought the urge to lick and suck Cas to hardness, instead letting it lay in his mouth.

Cas smiled and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Very good, Cowboy. If you need to stop or take a break, I want you to tap on my leg three times. Do that for me right now if you understand.” Dean tapped three times and then settled in, breathing through his nose.

“Very good.” Cas pulled out his phone and started a podcast about monsters and lore. He set the phone on the table, then leaned back and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair.

Dean let his eyes fall shut. He tried to swallow the drool that was collecting in his mouth, but that was proving difficult to do without licking, sucking or removing his mouth. Dean was about to tap Cas' leg, when the podcast ended.

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Very good, Cowboy. Put my cock away.”

Dean pulled his mouth away and swallowed. “Yes, sir.” He tucked Cas dick back in his pants, then waited.

Cas lifted Dean’s chin and studied him. “You’re so gorgeous like that. If Luke wasn’t here I’d have you naked and on your knees.”

Luke smiled. “Let me know next time. I don't mind cooking, then skedaddling for a while.”

Cas shook his head. “Having you here helped him. I heard you telling him about when you give up control. Thank you for that. I know he wouldn’t be this calm if you hadn’t done that.” He said with a smile as he ran his thumb over Dean’s lips. “Also, since it’s his first time to wear his collar, I think it’d be hard to give up that much control. Am I right, Cowboy? Would this have been harder if you were collared and naked?”

“Yes, sir. I would have had to stop, sir.”

Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek and smiled when he leaned into the touch. “We’ll work up to that, but only if it’s something you’re comfortable with. Is there anything you need from me right now?”

“My throat is dry. Could I please have some water, sir?”

Cas picked up the glass and held the straw to Dean’s mouth. “Of course you can, Cowboy.”

Dean took a good sized drink of the water and swallowed. “Thank you, sir.”

“Do you need more?”

“No, sir. Thank you.”

Cas put the glass on the table, then patted his lap. “Straddle me.”

Dean smiled and climbed into Cas' lap, facing him. He was unsure where to put his hands, so he rested them on his knees.

Cas ran his fingers over the edge of Dean’s collar. “You have permission to touch me.”

Dean lifted his arms to Cas' shoulders, his hands behind his neck. He let his fingers trace along the edge of the chainmail collar.

Cas kissed along Dean’s jawline and around the perimeter of his lips. “You’re doing so good, Cowboy.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Cas ran his tongue over Dean’s lips. “How about we take this upstairs. I’d love to see you bound right now.”

Dean bit his lip and looked down. He was enjoying their scene, but was nervous about continuing it while bound. “Umm... y-yellow.... sir.”

Cas looked at Dean in shock. “Yellow? Are you needing more explanation before we go up there or were you saying no to being bound?”

“I would like some more explanation, sir.”

Cas’ eyes widened slightly. “Really? Um, ok.” He ran his thumb over Dean’s jawline as he thought. “I’ve already used just a simple, one knot harness on you. I was thinking maybe something more restricting, with your hands behind you.”

“Would I be naked, sir?”

Cas kissed Dean softly. “You said yellow. Play is paused right now. You don’t have to call me sir unless you want to until we’re back to green. No. You wouldn’t be naked. I told you we’d work up to that. I’d like to have your shirt off, if that’s ok.”

Dean winked. “I like calling you sir when I have my collar on, sir.” He slid one hand around to the front of Cas' collar, where the ring held the ends together, and caressed the tender flesh there. “I'm ok with having my shirt off, sir.” He leaned close, while they were still 'yellow' and kissed Cas deeply. “Ok, I'm green now, sir.”

Cas grabbed Dean’s hair and pulled his head back. He licked as much of his exposed neck as he could. “Upstairs. I want you on your knees on the bed in the playroom.”

Dean shivered and moaned. “Yes, sir.” He stood up and walked quickly upstairs to the playroom. He reached down and adjusted his half-hard cock before climbing on the bed and getting on his knees, sitting back on his heels.

Luke smirked at Cas. “He almost threw you off your game. You were expecting him to safeword, weren’t you?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. I wanted him to know he could stop it, so I’m glad he said yellow.” He looked at the dirty dishes then at Luke.

“Go. I’ll take care of these.”

Cas nodded and went up the stairs and into the playroom. “Shirt off.” He said as he opened the top drawer of the dresser and pulled out some rope.

Dean nodded and lifted his shirt off over his head. “Yes, sir.”

Cas looked at the cotton rope in his hand, then at the more coarse rope, then at Dean. He put the cotton rope down and picked up the coarser one. “Hands behind your back and grab your elbows.” Dean moved his arms as he was directed.

“Good boy.” Cas said as he unraveled the rope, then held it across the front of Dean’s body. He positioned it over his nipples, moving it left and right so the roughness rubbed over them gently. Dean hissed at the rough treatment of his sensitive nipples. Cas moved the rope again, then pulled it tight so it bit into Dean’s nipples. “Too much or just enough?”

Dean grimaced slightly. “It is a bit too much, sir.”

“Color?”

“Yellow, sir. Will this rope be tied over my nipples? It is a little too coarse for that.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder. “No, it won’t.” He moved the rope so it laid across Dean’s chest above and below his nipples. “The rope will lay there and around your upper arms. It’ll also go over your shoulders and around your forearms.” He said as he brushed the rope over each spot he’d mentioned. “I was hoping you’d like that nipple play. I’m sorry if it was too rough for you. Would you like a softer rope?”

“It was unexpected and caught me off guard. It might be ok, if I'm prepared for it, later. This rope will be fine, just not on the nipples tonight, sir. Ok?”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck near the buckle of his collar. “Ok. Color?”

“Green, sir. I want to be bound by you.”

Cas worked on the harness, being as careful as he could when he had to drag the rough rope across Dean’s skin. He got the harness in place and anchored, then bound Dean’s forearms together and tested the ropes. “Beautiful.” Dean blushed at the comment.

“How does it feel?” Cas asked as he went back to the dresser.

Dean tested the ropes. “It feels.... incredible, sir.”

Cas grabbed the front of the drawer he’d just opened and stiffened a little, then let his head droop. “Yellow.”

Dean tilted his head. “What's wrong, Angel?”

Cas wiped his eyes when he heard his pet name. “It just...feels off. I mean I see my Dean and I hear his voice, but it hasn’t felt like I’m doing this with my Honeybee. I just feels like I’m doing this with someone I have no connection with.”

Dean sighed and hung his head. “It's the pattern of speech, isn't it? I just kinda slipped into a different way of talking.... I thought it would be something you'd like from your sub. Being all polite and proper.”

Dean wanted to physically comfort Cas, but couldn't, being bound. “I can try to talk more like myself. Is there something you'd like me to call you, instead of sir? I tend to go more formal when I use sir.”

Cas huffed a laugh. “Call me anything, but sir. I’m not John and you’re not just some random sub that has been told that’s the only acceptable title to use other than something like master. You always have some name for me that nobody else calls me...until now.”

Dean nodded at Cas. “I'm green, if you are.”

Cas took a couple deep breaths, then picked up the nipple clamps. He took another deep breath and walked over to Dean. He put a clamp on one of his nipples and flicked it with his finger. “Green.”

Dean sucked in a breath at the surprise. “Shit, hero, wow.”

Cas put the other clamp on Dean’s nipple and flicked it. “Hero? What makes me a hero?”

Dean moaned at the sensation. “Oh, hero, you saved me from myself. Until you, my life was about taking care of my brother. You gave me love and showed me  _ how  _ to love. You made me understand something I heard when I was a kid.”

Cas tugged on the chain connecting the nipple clamps. “What did I make you understand, Cowboy?”

“Music is not in the notes, but in the silence between, hero. You allowed me to hear the music of my life by forcing me to notice the silence.”

Cas toyed with the chain. “Because I was mute?”

“At first, hero. But later, it was during the times that we could be together without  _ needing _ to talk. Hero, you allowed me to just be me, hell, you encouraged it. You showed me I could be a protector, as well as the protected. That I could be more than just a grease-monkey. You showed me that being gay doesn't make me less of a man. You did all this, just by being you. Whether you spoke, whispered, signed or wrote, it didn't matter, it made me pay attention to the moments of silence in my life. You brought me peace. All of that, makes you my hero.”

“All of that, makes you my Angel, my Sunshine, my little bee. All of that makes you mine. All of that, makes me yours.” Cas stood behind Dean as he silently tried to process everything.

“Yellow. Angel? Was that too much? I know it's not very sub-like to talk that much, but it's more like me. I know I talk a lot and don't actually say much. I'm sorry I never told you all of this before now, but whether we're in a scene or not, that is how I feel about you. I needed you to know. I love you, Castiel, my Angel.”

“I...I don’t think I can do this right now.”

“Talk to me, Angel. Tell me what's wrong. We can stop, but, obviously, we need to talk.”

“Poughkeepsie.” Cas grabbed the knife from the side table and cut the ropes enough that Dean could get himself loose, then sat on the floor beside the bed with his head in his hands.

Dean pulled himself out of the tattered remains of the rope and unbuckled his collar. Once free, he scooted off the bed and onto the floor next to Cas. Dean pulled Cas into his arms. “Ok, Angel, it's just you and me. What's wrong?”

Cas shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks. ‘I don’t know.’

“Have you taken your meds? I don't mean to jump straight to that, but it's a good place to start.”

Cas nodded and wiped at his eyes. ‘I was fine until…’

“Until.... until I unloaded all of that on you while I was your sub?”

‘Until I said yellow. I fucked it all up, Dean. I’m so sorry. I wanted this to be perfect for you and I ruined it.’

Dean lifted Cas' chin so he could look into the stormy, blue eyes. “Oh, Angel, don't you see, all of my time with you is perfect. Even when we fuck things up, it's better when I'm with you. Would you have wanted to be my Dom again if you felt disconnected from me?”

‘But I made it worse.’

“How did you make it worse? So, we stop for tonight. We made progress. I was so afraid when you went into the sub role. But, we talked, and we talked with Luke, and I was able to get over my fear. Then, I was afraid to sub and give up control like that, but you showed me that I didn't have to be afraid of that, either. We got our collars, both for play and, more importantly, the ones that show everyone that we belong together.”

‘I’m not a hero.’ Cas whispered so softly that Dean could barely hear it.

“True heroes rarely believe they are.”

Cas shook his head. ‘I couldn’t stop Mike from hurting her. I...’ Cas buried his face in Dean’s chest.

Dean held Cas tight to his chest. He took a deep breath to calm himself, before trying to get Cas to tell him what he was talking about. “It's Ok, Angel. I'm guessing you aren't talking about something that happened recently, right?”

Cas shook his head. ‘I was seven.’

“Can you tell me about it? Does Luke know? Should I get him in here?”

‘I...’ Cas tried to swallow the lump in his throat.  _ “I can’t.” _

“Should I call Mike? Luke? Gabe? Angel, this is obviously something that needs to be dealt with, but I'm not sure how to help you right now.” Cas clung to Dean and hid his face in his shoulder. “Oh, Angel. Let me get Luke in here. He's done nothing but help us, so far.” Cas nodded.

Dean pulled his cell from his pocket and sent a quick text to Luke, asking him to come up to the playroom, that Cas needed his help. Luke went upstairs expecting Cas to need help with some rope work or something. When he opened the door he was surprised to see Dean holding Cas on the floor.

“What the hell happened?”

Dean explained about Cas calling yellow, switching his speech patterns back to normal, calling him hero, then Cas safewording out. “Then, he said something about not being able to stop Mike from hurting some girl when he was seven. He can't tell me any more than that. Do you know what he's talking about?”

Luke ran his hand over his face. “He remembers Lilith? Fuck. That bitch was the definition of why you need safewords. She’d scream for him to stop, but she was enjoying it the whole time. I’d completely forgotten that Cas happened to see one of their sessions.” Luke sat on the floor across from them, with his back against the wall.

“So, Cas saw Mike hurting this Lilith chick, but it was in a way that she liked, and, being seven, Cas didn't understand what was happening? Basically?”

“Well, yeah. She liked to role play that she was a victim. He saw Mike whipping her and tried to stop him.” Luke groaned and put his face in his hands. “Mike said it was cute that Cas was trying to be a hero, but he couldn’t save her. Fuck.”

“Oh, Angel. Don't you see? Even though you couldn't save her, the fact is, at the age of seven, you tried. You tried to save someone who was in pain from someone much bigger than yourself. That was very brave. If she was actually in trouble and being hurt, you would have been her hero. Being a hero isn't solely about the end results, it's about doing the right thing in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.”

Luke sighed as he watched them. “Mike knew not to have her in the house when Cas would be home.”

“And, Mike being Mike, he didn't listen. Oh, Angel, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

“Mike never listens. He always has to be the one in charge.”

Dean rubbed circles on Cas' back. “Angel? Are you feeling any better yet?” Cas shrugged.

Luke ran his hand over his face. “I can’t believe I never put this together before. You do know he doesn’t like to be anywhere near whips, right?”

Dean nodded. “Remember when I told you about Mike threatening Cas with the flogger in front of me and it sent him into sub-mode? Well, before that, when my little bee was subtly moving himself in here, he brought over a suitcase full of toys for us. We sorted through it, deciding what to keep and what to toss. Mike had given him a whip and Angel didn't even want to look at it, let alone touch or actually  _ use _ it. I figured out that anything that even resembled a whip or flogger would be a no-go.”

Luke nodded. “I guess you can thank Mike for both of those. Although I am still a little confused with the flogger. I’m willing to bet he actually used a cat. I mean, floggers can do damage, but that’s not really what they’re used for.”

'Knotted leather, 25 inches, 24 narrow tails, designed for sting. Not a cat.'

Luke looked at Cas. “Let me guess, your biggest problem, at this moment, is that you safeworded as the Dom. You're probably thinking that Doms never safeword out. Well, let me tell you something, bumblebee, the  _ best _ Doms know when to stop. It's the responsibility of the Dom to assess every aspect of the situation and determine if it is safe to continue.”

Cas chewed on his lip and nodded. ‘Have you?’

If Luke hadn't been looking at Cas, he wouldn't have known he spoke. Luckily, he could read lips. “Yes, I have. One time, my sub, he was new, was afraid I wouldn't want to Dom him again if he stopped. I could tell he was in more pain than pleasure-pain. I safeworded. Another time, I was angry. I was not in the right headspace to Dom safely. Unfortunately, I broke my sub's skin with a whip before I realized. I instantly safeworded. There have been other times, but they are similar to those examples.”

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘But have you had to stop because you didn’t feel connected to the man you love while being his Dom?’

Luke sighed and looked at Cas and Dean longingly. “I've never been lucky enough to have been in love like the two of you. I have felt disconnected from a couple of my subs, we continued the scene, but parted ways. I believe, that if I felt disconnected from the person I loved, I would  _ have _ to safeword out. When you're in a committed relationship, outside of the Dom/sub relationship, you have to stay connected. Otherwise, you'll grow to resent each other. I have watched it happen. It happened to my Domme and her ex-husband. Trust me, bumblebee, you did the exact right thing.”

Cas nodded a little and nuzzled Dean’s neck. ‘And you’ll want to try again?’

Dean combed his fingers through Cas' hair. “Oh, Angel, of course I will. This is supposed to be enjoyable for  _ both _ of us. I will try as many times as you want. And, hey, if you continue to feel that disconnect, then, maybe that type of play isn't for us and we'll find something that is, if you want.”

‘I think...’ Cas coughed. “I think you just weren’t  _ my _ Dean and that got into my head. Then you went from that Dean to my Dean and it was just too fast of a flip.”

Dean nodded. “I understand that. Next time we try, I'll try to be more like me, just submissive.”

Cas sighed. “It sounded and looked like you were talking to John. You’re body language was tense like you didn’t trust me…”

“Ok, so talk like me, but submissive, don't be so rigid in my posture. Anything else, Sunshine?”

Cas nodded. “Let me know you’re enjoying it.”

“Of course, Angel. Can I still call you hero, or do you want something else?”

“I.... I don’t know. It makes me think of what I saw.”

“That's ok. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. We can come up with something, together.”

Cas snuggled against Dean. “Thank you. You’re ok with Sheriff and Cowboy, right?”

Dean kissed Cas softly. “Oh yeah. You know how I feel about cowboys and all the old west stuff.”

Cas smiled a little. “I know.”

“How about Romeo?”

Cas thought for a moment. “Maybe. I like the kind of stuff you already call me.”

“Do you want me to call you by those names while we scene? Won't that get confusing?”

Cas sighed. “I don’t know what I want you to call me. I never had nicknames really other than Luke calling me bumblebee.”

“I rarely call you Cas or Castiel. Would that be better?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Not Cas. You only say that when there’s a problem. Maybe Castiel...I don’t know.” He said as he buried his face in Dean’s neck.

Dean squeezed Cas closer. “It's ok. We don't have to decide now.” Cas nodded a little.

Luke leaned against the door jamb. “I’d noticed that. Why don’t you call him by his name?”

Dean shrugged. “Well, Castiel is the name of the Angel of Thursday, as you know. So, that's where I got Angel. Plus, he is my Angel. When he was hurting, I'd sing You Are My Sunshine, so Sunshine. My life is brighter when he's around. Little bee... well, he loves bees. Other people call him Cas or Castiel. I'm the only one to use these nicknames. I guess... If he hears one of these names, he'll know it's me.”

“Before you he wouldn’t allow nicknames unless it was me or Gabe.”

Dean snickered. “I don't think I really gave him a choice, did I Angel?”

Cas shook his head. “Not really.”

Luke laughed a little. “Yeah, you don’t seem like the type to give him much of a choice. You’re a natural Dom.”

Dean shook his head. “No... Well, only because I've had to grow up so fast. I had to raise Sammy and take care of the house and work and school. I've had to make sure everything is under control. But, the times Angel takes control, especially when I'm bound, those times are phenomenal.”

“I didn’t say you aren’t a good sub. I just said you’re a natural Dom.”

“Thanks... I think... honestly, I'm not sure what you mean.”

“You’re a natural caretaker. You don’t shy away from giving orders. And you don’t let anyone mess with what’s yours...not even an older brother.” Luke said with a smirk. “I don’t mean it like you like to cause pain or anything.”

“Well, when you put it like that, hell, I'm awesome.” Dean smiled and winked. Cas snuggled closer to Dean.

Luke motioned to them. “Like this for instance. You’re so amazing with him. You always seem to know what he needs. You can switch from sub to Dom at the drop of a hat when he’s needing your strength. I don’t think you understand how amazing that truly is.”

Dean blushed. “Well, that's just because I love him.” He looked at Cas, tucked in his arms. “I love you, Angel.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck. “I love you, too.”

Luke smiled. “And that’s something that’s missing for me. Most of my subs come to me simply because they want to be dominated. They aren’t looking for love. There’s paperwork and formalities. We might only do one scene, or we might do twenty or more, but we never move past the business side of things. A lot of Doms I know are the same way.”

“Love just happens, dude. It hits you when you least expect it. I was just looking for a tutor and look at where I am now. I am engaged, hell, BDSM-married, to this gorgeous, sexy, brilliant, sweet, funny, did I mention sexy, loving, man in my arms.” Dean kissed Cas' head. “Love isn't something you can order someone to give you, not that I think you'd try. Love just happens.” Cas nuzzled Dean’s neck, then nipped at it.

Luke smiled. “And in a few short months you’ll be exchanging rings and changing last names. I’m so glad you needed that tutor.”

Dean smiled down at Cas. “Me too, Luke. Me too.” Cas cut his eyes toward Dean, then he licked and nipped at his neck.

Luke chuckled. “Looks like he’s doing better now.”

Dean nodded and bit back a moan. His eyelids fluttered. “He's focused on a spot he knows drives me crazy.” 'Fuck, Angel. That feels good.' Cas smirked against Dean’s neck and nipped harder, then licked the abused skin.

“Then I should probably leave and let you have fun.”

Dean waved absently, as he laid back, pulling Cas with him. Luke shook his head and closed the door behind him. Cas sucked on Dean’s neck as he ran his hand over his chest. He pinched and tugged at Dean’s nipple.

“What do you want, Angel?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “I want to try again.”

“Ok, Angel. Tell me what I should call you when you Dom. You need to be comfortable with it.”

Cas chewed on his lip. “Maybe a mix of Castiel and Love? I don’t call you Sheriff the whole time. Sometimes I call you Sir. You’re ok with that, right?”

Dean pulled Cas' head down to his and kissed where Cas had been chewing on his lip. “Yes, Love. I'm more than ok with that.”

Cas smiled and got off of Dean. “You know how I want you, Cowboy.”

Dean grinned and climbed onto the bed. He buckled the collar back into place, then kneeled and waited. “I'm ready, Love.”

Cas playfully swatted Dean’s thigh. “Where should your arms be?”

Dean moved his arms into position. “Sorry, Love.”

Cas looked Dean over. “Very good.” He went to the dresser and got more rope, then came back to Dean and rubbed it over his nipples. “Does the roughness get you hard, Cowboy?”

Dean sucked in a breath. “Oh yeah, Love. It gets me so hard.”

Cas undid the rope and pulled it across Dean’s chest. “You just don’t like when it’s biting into them, correct?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, Love. It can be tight or rough on my nipples, but I can't handle both.”

Cas leaned close to Dean’s ear as he started on the harness. ‘Unless it’s my teeth. Then you like it tight and rough.’

Dean gripped the front of Cas' shirt with one of his hands, still behind his back, and let his head fall back onto Cas' shoulder. “Your teeth aren't that kind of rough, Love. The rope is scratchy.”

Cas ran his hand from where the rope was stretched across Dean’s chest, down his abs, and to his waistband. “You do like it against your skin though, right?”

“Oh yeah. The scratchiness gives a delicious burn that I'll still feel tomorrow, Love.”

Cas smirked and bit Dean’s neck, then pulled away. “Good.” He said as he finished the harness. He ran his nails over the exposed skin on Dean’s torso. “Fuck. I wish you were naked right now. I’d love to see how hard your cock is.”

Dean smiled. “I'd show you, but…”

“You’re ok with being naked and bound?”

“Only with you.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder as he moved his hands to the front of Dean’s pajama bottoms and hooked his thumb in them, pulling them down slightly. “I wouldn’t dream of letting anyone else come into this room, unless it was Luke and that’d only be for an emergency.”

Dean's hips bucked forward, slightly. 'Please.'

Cas smirked and ran his thumb back and forth inside of the waistband, letting his thumbnail scratch at Dean’s sensitive skin. “If he’s out, then I get to do whatever I want to him, and your ass.”

Dean shivered and nodded. “Please, Castiel. Touch me, I'm yours.”

Cas nipped at Dean’s neck as he released the waistband and let it snap back against Dean’s skin. “I don’t remember saying I wanted to touch him. I just want to see how hard and straining he is. I want to see how much precum drips from you without me touching him. I want to see him strain and explode just from the things I say and do to you, Cowboy.”

“Whatever you want, Love. I'm so hard.”

Cas pushed Dean’s pajama bottoms down, allowing them to push his cock down, then letting it bounce free and hit his stomach as he got the bottoms off one leg and then the other. “So fucking gorgeous.”

Dean blushed at the compliment. “Thank you, Love.”

Cas scratched up Dean’s legs and around his cock, without touching it. He smirked when it twitched and a bead of precum formed. “He’s so responsive.”

“He likes you.”

Cas scratched up Dean’s body to his nipples and pinched them. “I bet he does.” He said as he picked up the discarded nipple clamps and placed them on both nipples, then tugged.

Dean hissed. “Aahhh, fuck.” Cas tugged a little harder on the chain, then moved so he could run his tongue over one of the abused buds. Dean pulled against the ropes binding him, wanting to touch Cas. “Oh, God, yes. Feels so good, Love.”

Cas ran his tongue over Dean’s other nipple, then pinched the clamps tighter. He lifted the chain and clipped it onto the ring on Dean’s collar. He smirked as he flicked the taunt chain. Dean panted and moaned. “He likes when I abuse your nipples, doesn’t he?”

Dean's cock twitched again. “Y-yes, Love. So much.”

Cas tugged on the chain, then flicked both clamps at the same time. “I want him to show me how much he likes it.” Dean whined as his cock leaked more precum. Cas nipped at the skin around Dean’s nipples as he pulled the chain. “Do you think he can be a good boy and show me?”

Dean hissed and tilted his head back. The motion caused the collar to ride up, which pulled the chain, tugging on his nipples more. His cock bobbed and leaked more. “C-castiel, please.”

Cas scratched his nails around the abused buds. “Please what, Cowboy?”

“More. Please, I need more, Love.”

Cas chewed on his lip as he glanced at Luke’s suitcase. He nipped at Dean’s neck. “Don’t move.” He got off the bed and went over to the suitcase and looked inside. He gently ran his fingers over the soft, thick strips of leather on Luke’s flogger, then hesitantly picked it up. Cas looked back at Dean and swallowed hard at the sight. He pulled out his phone and snapped a few photos of his bound fiancé before going back over to the bed. “You look so fucking sexy all tied up like that.”

Dean tried to hold still, but when he heard the camera click, he kneeled up a little straighter and flexed his muscles to make them stand out.

Cas bit Dean’s earlobe. “I saw you move when I took the pictures. Maybe I should add a blindfold so you can’t see what’s coming next.”

Dean sucked in a breath. “Sorry, Love. I wanted to look sexy for your picture.”

Cas flicked a nipple clamp. “You already did. What’s your color on being blindfolded?” Dean looked at Cas as he thought. Cas gently caressed Dean’s cheek. “Would you like me to put it on you and then you decide?”

“I was wondering if I could go without looking at you, Love.”

Cas smiled a little. “I’d be hard to see me when I’m behind you.” He said as he slipped the blindfold onto Dean. “Color?”

“Green, Love.”

Cas carefully pushed Dean forward while holding onto the harness. “Chest down, ass up.”

Dean wobbled a little as he was bent forward. He managed to get his chest down without flopping and turned his head. “Like this, Love?”

Cas smacked Dean’s ass. “Ass up.” Dean pushed his ass up in the air. Cas ran his hand over Dean’s ass, then gently tickled it with the ends of the flogger. “Any idea what this is, Cowboy?”

Dean wiggled at the sensation. “No, Love. It tickles.”

Cas held the tendrils, then snapped his wrist so it’d give a light sting. “It tickles? Can’t have that now can we?” He said before tickling Dean’s ass with the flogger again.

Dean hissed at the sting and cried out. “Ohhh... Love…”

Cas smirked. “Care to guess what it is now?”

“I'm not sure, but a flogger or a cat, Love.”

Cas smacked Dean’s ass with the flogger. “Very good. But do you really think I’d use a cat on you?”

“No, Castiel.”

Cas started rotating his wrist so the flogger continuously smacked Dean’s ass lightly. “Do you like it, Cowboy?”

“Yeah, oh yeah.” Dean started rocking back and forth, humping air.

Cas smirked and ran the tendrils up the inside of Dean’s thigh, allowing them to lightly brush his balls. He grabbed the tendrils, then smacked Dean’s ass with them.

Dean yelped, then moaned. “Fuuuuckk, yes, yes, oh, God..” Every time Dean moved, the chains pulled on the nipple clamps, sending jolts of pleasure through his body. Cas rotated his wrist, giving Dean light smacks, then grabbed the tendrils and smacked him harder.

Dean moaned and panted and whined, as he rocked his hips. “Close, Love... so close…”

Cas ran the tendrils up Dean’s thigh, then smacked his ass, a few tendrils hitting his hole. Dean tensed and cried out as he came all over the sheets. “Caaaassssstiel.”

Cas ran the flogger over Dean’s red ass, then grabbed the back of the harness and pulled him up so he was kneeling. He gently tickled his cock with the flogger. ‘Such a good boy, Cowboy.’

Dean's head fell back and he hissed at the pull on his nipples and the tickling of the flogger on his overly sensitive cock. “Fuck, Love, thank you.”

Cas ran the flogger over Dean’s cock again, then gently removed the nipple clamps. “You’re very welcome, Cowboy.”

“Oh, ow, ow, fuck.” Dean whined as the blood rushed back into his nipples.

Cas gently rubbed Dean’s nipples. “They’ll stop hurting in a minute.”

Dean sighed as the pain eased. He reached back with his fingertips to touch any part of Cas he could. “Thank you, oh my God, you're so good to me, Love.”

Cas moved his hands to the knots in the ropes and started removing the harness. He kissed Dean’s shoulder as the last of the harness was removed, then gently massaged his muscles before allowing Dean to move his arms. “How are you feeling?”

Dean stretched his arms and leaned back against Cas. “Mmm, good. Really good, Love.”

Cas kissed Dean’s temple and ran his fingers through his hair. “Floaty or like you're flying?”

Dean smiled and nodded. “Floaty.” He raised his hand to caress Cas' cheek.

Cas turned his head and kissed Dean’s fingers. “You’re in subspace. I want you to enjoy it for as long as you want to. Ok, Cowboy? Do you want to stay collared while I bathe you?”

“Yeah.”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck just above the collar. “I’ll have to put a different one on you. The water could damage this one. Luke has a pvc collar in his suitcase we can use. Ok?”

“Ok, Love.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder, then carefully got off the bed. He grabbed the collar from the suitcase, an OJ from the mini fridge, and some chocolate, then got back on the bed behind Dean, allowing him to relax against him again. He broke off a piece of chocolate and held it to Dean’s lips. “Eat.”

Dean opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around the chocolate and Cas' fingers, sucking on them lightly. Cas gently ran the fingers of his free hand over Dean’s nipple. “Good boy.”

Dean shifted and squirmed as he chewed the chocolate. Cas brushed Dean’s hair back, then reached for the bedside table and pulled out the glucose tester. He pricked Dean’s finger and tested his levels. “Go ahead and sit like you normally would.”

Dean sucked the tiny bit of blood from his finger and moved so he was off his knees and his legs were stretched out in front of him. Cas put a straw into the OJ and held it to Dean’s lips. “Drink.”

Dean sucked on the straw, taking a large drink of the juice. “Thank you, Love.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder. “You’re welcome, Cowboy. You’ve got one more bite of chocolate and the rest of this juice, then we can go to the bathtub.”

Dean opened his mouth and waited. Cas put the piece of chocolate into Dean’s mouth. “Such a good boy.” Dean grinned as he chewed and swallowed. Cas held the straw to Dean. “Finish this off, then I can change your collar and we can soak in the tub.”

Dean drank more of the juice, then nuzzled into Cas' neck. He peppered small kisses along his throat. Cas tilted his head as he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. He gently unbuckled Dean’s collar and pulled it off, then replaced it with the pvc one. “Can you walk or are you still too floaty?”

“I think I can walk, Love.”

Cas got off the bed and helped Dean to his feet, letting him lean on him for support. He wrapped an arm around Dean and guided him to their bathroom. Cas helped Dean to sit on the edge of the tub, then pulled his own clothes off. “You are so fucking gorgeous, Cowboy.”

Dean blushed. “You look amazing, Castiel.”

Cas helped Dean to his feet and kissed him softly. He turned him so he was facing the mirror. “Look at all the beautiful marks on your gorgeous body, Cowboy. You are such an amazing sub. You listen so well and you respond beautifully to everything I do to you.”

Dean smiled softly and ran his fingers over a few of the rope marks on his arms and chest. “Feel safe with you, Love.”

Cas kissed Dean’s shoulder. “Good. I want you to always feel safe with me.” He said before picking up his phone and snapping a picture of both of them in the mirror. Dean turned his head to kiss Cas' lips. Cas snapped another picture, then put the phone down and tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair. Dean moaned and leaned his head into the fingers on his scalp.

Cas licked into Dean’s mouth as he held his head in place. He ran his free hand over Dean’s chest, then flicked his nipple. Dean sucked on Cas' tongue as he let his hands roam over as much skin as he could reach. 

Cas slowly pulled back as he hooked his finger in the ring on Dean’s collar. “We need to get you in the bath.” Dean nodded and let Cas lead him to the bath.

Cas helped Dean into the tub, then got in. He sat down and motioned for Dean to follow. “Get comfortable in my lap, Cowboy.”

Dean sat in the tub, in Cas' lap. “Mmmm, warm, Love.”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Yes it is.” He picked up the washcloth and got it soapy, then started running it over Dean’s body. “Any soreness?”

“My shoulders are a little stiff and my nipples are still tender, my Love.” Cas set the washcloth down and started massaging Dean’s stiff muscles. “Ohh, that feels good, mi amor.”

Cas laughed a little as he continued to massage Dean’s shoulders. “Are you less floaty now?”

Dean sighed. “Coming back, Liebchen. Wanna and don't at the same time.”

Cas kissed behind Dean’s ear. “I can always take you back there when you need it. I’ll even try to get you as deep into subspace as I was when you used the sound on me.”

Dean let his eyes slip closed as Cas washed him. “That sounds really good, Mon amour.”

Cas gently washed Dean’s cock. “All you have to do is let me know when you need it, ok.”

Dean hummed and thrust his hips lightly. “Yeah.”

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed his shoulder. “I love you so much.”

Dean relaxed back into Cas. “I love you too, Angel.”

Cas smiled and hugged Dean tighter. “You really did do a wonderful job of submitting. I wasn’t sure you’d be able to let go that easily.”

“I love and trust you, Angel. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to relax enough. I probably would have started laughing or something.”

“You would have laughed while I tortured your nipples?”

Dean thought for a moment. “Maybe, but only if I got to thinking about how easy it was for you to get me hard as a rock and begging.”

Cas hummed. “What about when I was flogging your ass?”

“Oohhhhh, fuck. That was awesome!”

Cas gently ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “So you like that?”

“Yeah. I like that a lot.”

Cas smiled. “I’d been debating on using it so I’m glad you do. I’d be ok with you using it on me.”

“You'll have to show me how.”

Cas nodded. “I can do that.”

“Should I have brought you to the playroom when I dommed you, Angel?”

“No. I wanted to be downstairs. Everything doesn’t have to be in the playroom, but if we’re getting naked or something, then it should be. I mean, Luke’s not going to care if we’re in the playroom or the living room, but I’d think you’d want some things to stay behind closed doors.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I don't want to get used to being naked in the living room, then have Sammy living here. He doesn't need to see his brother-in-law being paddled while watching Netflix.” Dean leaned his head back to nip at Cas' ear.

Cas moaned softly. “What about the other parts, like kneeling on the floor and cock warming? Are you ok with him being around that?”

“Maybe something to cover the groin, so he doesn't see one of our cocks in the other's mouth. But the kneeling is fine, once we explain things to him.”

Cas smiled. “Good. I liked doing that.”

“Yeah, it was nice. But…” Dean laughed and shook his head. “I had so much saliva in my mouth, but I couldn't swallow without getting teeth or suction.”

Cas laughed a little. “Yeah. It can get messy. You could have tapped my leg so you could swallow though. I would have let you.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Now you tell me.”

Cas looked at Dean. “I told you that if you needed to stop or take a break to tap my leg, then I told you to do it if you understood and you did.”

“I didn't think you meant, hey, let me stop for a second because I'm drooling too much.”

Cas shook his head. “If you’re uncomfortable then you safeword. I decide if it’s a discomfort that we need to correct or not.” He gently stroked Dean’s cheek. “It was your first time. I wanted you to be as comfortable as possible.”

“I was still comfortable. Anyway, I was just about to tap when your podcast ended and you told me to put you away.”

“Good.” Cas gently ran his fingers up and down Dean’s arm. “Do you have any questions about what we did?”

“Did you have fun? Did you cum?”

“I had a lot of fun, but no, I didn’t cum. I wasn’t trying to make myself cum. Does that bother you?”

Dean grinned and reached behind himself and grasped Cas' cock. “Nope. Just means I get to make you cum, Sunshine.”

Cas moaned. “You should take the collar off if you’re not subbing.”

“Take it off me, please. My hands are a little busy right now.”

Cas’ hips bucked as he reached up and took the collar off of Dean. “Do you want me to wear it?”

“Nah, I just want you right now.” Dean turned in the tub, so he was facing Cas. Cas tossed the collar onto the floor, then caressed Dean’s cheek as he smiled. “Legs up on my shoulders, Angel.”

Cas shifted so his legs were on Dean’s shoulders. “Like this?”

Dean nodded, slipped his hands under Cas' ass and lifted. “Brace yourself on the edge of the tub, Sunshine.” Cas chewed on his lip and did as he was told. Dean lifted Cas' hips so his ass was out of the water. Dean leaned forward and sucked Cas' cock into his mouth. Cas moaned and gripped the edge of the tub.

Dean moved his hands under Cas' ass in such a way that his thumbs brushed alongside his hole. He continued to bob his head up and down on Cas' cock. Cas gripped the tub harder. “Ohhhhh, fuck…” He let his head fall back against the tub.

Dean started humming and pressed one thumbtip into Cas' hole, pulled it out and slipped the other in. He repeated the actions at an increasing pace. Cas tightened his legs so they’d hold him up, then released the side of the tub and yanked at his hair. “All the way...please... I need...I need it all the way…” He said between pants.

Dean moaned as he took Cas deeper into his throat, at the same time he pushed one thumb all the way in, alternating as he had before. Cas tensed and cried out as he shot cum down Dean’s throat. Dean pulled back, keeping the head in his mouth, as he swallowed as much cum as he could. He released Cas' cock and carefully lowered his hips, coaxing Cas' legs from his shoulders. “So good, Angel.”

Cas smiled and wiped some cum from Dean’s lip with his thumb, pushing it into his mouth. “You called me Sam’s brother-in-law. Did you mean after we’re married or do you consider us husbands because of the collars?”

Dean sucked and nibbled on Cas' thumb. He grinned as he slid the thumb out of his mouth. “Yep.”

“To which one?”

“Jeez, Angel, I really kinda mean both. I mean, because of the collars, we're married in the eyes of the BDSM community, including your brothers. But since we only play at that and don't live the lifestyle, I have to wonder, does that make us  _ playing _ at married? I don't want to just  _ play _ married. I want to officially marry you this spring, like we planned. I love you, my little Sunshiny Angel-bee.”

Cas touched his own collar. ‘You think this is playing?’

“No, Angel. Absolutely not. But I don't want anyone to be in doubt about our commitment to each other. Your brothers and those in BDSM will look at these and see them for what they are, our marriage collars. But if Bobby or Sammy or anyone at school were to look at them, all they'd see are matching necklaces. But after our wedding, we will also have wedding bands, and a legal document, that prove to everyone else that I am yours and you are mine. You'll  _ officially _ become Castiel James Winchester.”

Cas picked up the washcloth and looked down at it as he messed with it. ‘We really aren’t playing anymore.’

“I know that, Cas. But outside of your brothers, no one we know will believe us. I want  _ everyone _ to know.”

‘I want everyone to know, too, but I mean the lifestyle. We aren’t really playing. We’re living it.’

“Wait... what?”

Cas sighed and messed with the washcloth. ‘I just said that to make you more comfortable. If you thought you were getting into some BDSM lifestyle, then it would have scared you. You wouldn’t have wanted to try anything. You wouldn’t have found out that you  _ like _ it. Dean, do you really think people who live the lifestyle do it 24/7? ...Wait, never mind...some do, but not all. If we were just  _ playing _ , then it’d be restricted to sex. We’ve brought it into daily life.’

Cas chewed on his lip. ‘I mean, if Luke walked in and said the only way for us to play would be for us to say we’re in the lifestyle...would you say we are, or would you give up the ropes and flogger...and collars?’

Dean thought about what Cas had just said, as he pulled his fiancé close, turned him around and had him lean back into Dean's chest. He laced the fingers of one hand with Cas' fingers and reached up to run the fingers of his other hand along the edge of Cas' collar. He cleared his throat. “Ok, couple of things. First, yeah, I kinda did think they lived it 24/7. I still need things like that explained. Second, what could Luke do  _ if _ we said screw that, we'll play however we want to play? I seriously doubt he'd disown you. However, that's really a non-issue because I'm not giving up anything. Not the ropes or clamps or floggers or sounds or any of our other toys. Most importantly, I'm NEVER giving you up. If you say we're living it, not playing at it, then... I guess we're living it.”

Dean kissed Cas' temple. “Third, we still have the issue of the majority of the people we know not understanding our collars and not respecting their meaning. I still want to get officially married in the spring.” Dean paused to take a breath. “Finally, my Angel, if I hadn't said anything about playing at it, would you have ever told me we were living the lifestyle?”

Cas wiped at his eyes. ‘When I knew it wouldn’t freak you out and make you leave.’

“You can't get rid of me that easy, little bee.”

Cas took a deep breath and let it out. ‘I’m ready for whatever punishment you think I deserve.’

Dean sighed and nodded. “Ok, let's go back to the playroom.” Cas wiped his eyes and nodded as he stood up. Dean stood and got out of the tub, helped Cas out, then handed him a towel. Cas dried himself off and went to the playroom.

Dean dried off and followed Cas. “On the bed, Angel.” Cas knelt on the bed. “Do you want your collar or are you ok like this?”

‘Collar, please.’

Dean nodded and picked up the collar. He climbed onto the bed behind Cas and fastened the black and green leather collar around Cas' neck, just above the chainmail collar. “How does that feel, Sweetheart?”

Cas closed his eyes and let his head fall forward. ‘Good.’

Dean kissed the side of Cas' neck, just above his collar. He got off the bed and went to the dresser for a length of the soft, cotton rope. Going back to the bed. “Chest down, arms stretched above your head, ass in the air, Sweetheart.”

Cas leaned forward with his chest on the bed and his arms stretched toward the headboard. He shifted so his ass was in the air.

“Very good. Grab the headboard, Sweetheart.” Dean walked to the head of the bed and tied the rope around Cas' wrists and the headboard. “Color?”

Cas swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths. ‘Green.’

Dean climbed on the bed behind Cas. “So beautiful, Sweetheart. But, you are due a punishment. Do you know why you're about to be punished?”

Cas tensed and nodded, then rested his forehead on the mattress as a few tears fell. ‘I lied to you.’

Dean shook his head. “No, Sweetheart. That's not why you're being punished. It's true that you didn't tell me the whole truth about us living in the lifestyle, but you are being punished for not having faith in me.” Cas let out a small sob and buried his face in his arm.

“You held back the whole truth because you thought I would run. I understand that you don't want to lose me. I don't want to lose you either. That's why we have to be honest and open with each other. So, I'm going to give you a reminder. Do you understand, Sweetheart?”

Cas sniffled. ‘Yes, sir.’

“Alright, let's start. You let me know if you are anything other than green.” Dean trailed his hand lightly across Cas' back and ass. He lifted his hand and smacked it back down on the globe of his ass, before rubbing the sting away. Cas jumped and bit his arm.

Dean repeated his actions four more times. Then, he bent over and licked a stripe from Cas' balls to his hole. Cas gasped and pulled on the rope. “Talk to me, Sweetheart. How do you feel?”

‘Sorry for doubting you.’

Dean nodded. “I know, Sweetheart.” Dean gently pulled Cas' cheeks apart, then teased his hole with the tip of his tongue. Cas whimpered and bit his lip hard. Dean pulled back slightly. “Sweetheart, you have permission to be as vocal as you want. You don't have to try and muffle any of your noises.” Cas let out a breath and started crying into his arm. 

“Yellow.” Dean sat back on his heels. “Angel? What's wrong?” 

Cas cried harder, then tried to stop himself by biting his arm hard enough to break the skin. “Just do it already. Don’t tease me. Just get it over with, please!”

“Angel, the punishment is over. Five open-handed smacks to your ass. I really wasn't that upset with you. Honestly, I'd rather just lick your asshole right now, Angel.”

Cas cried into his arm as he tugged on the ropes. Dean grabbed the knife, reached over Cas and cut the ropes. “Shit. Poughkeepsie. I'm so sorry, Angel. I didn't even see you were bleeding.” Dean gathered Cas into his arms and put pressure on the broken skin. Cas turned his head into Dean’s chest and cried.

Dean raked his fingers through Cas' hair and started to rock back and forth. “Oh, Angel. It'll be ok.”

Luke knocked lightly and opened the door a crack. “Everything ok in here? What happened?”

Dean waved Luke in. “We, uh, had to have a little punishment. I think Cas was expecting me to really hurt him, but I just gave him a few open-handed swats.” Dean blushed at what was coming next. “Then, while I still had his wrists tied to the headboard, I... I started rimming him. I noticed he was quiet, told him he could make noises and talk. He started crying and I think he bit himself and broke skin. I haven't really worked out what’s wrong yet, but it was time to stop.” Dean reached behind Cas' neck and unbuckled the collar.

Luke’s brows shot up. “Punishment? I wasn’t aware that you two were doing punishments.”

Dean continued to rock Cas. “We got talking about marriage and he told me that we weren't just playing at BDSM anymore, that we were living it. That he hadn't told me because he was afraid I'd freak and leave him. I'm not, by the way. He told me he was ready to be punished. He thought I was upset for lying to me. I gave him a light spanking, but not for lying. It was for not having faith in me. Like I said, I think he was expecting me to really hurt him.”

Luke ran his hand over his face, then grabbed the first aid kit and handed it to Dean before sitting down. “Yeah. He was expecting pain. That’s what most punishments are, especially if you’re tied to a bed. And since I didn’t know you two were even considering punishments, I didn’t know that we needed to discuss them. I’m assuming you didn’t tell him what his punishment would be.”

“Uh, no. I really need to stop doing stuff until we can all three sit down and talk.” Dean looked down at Cas. 'I'm sorry Angel.' Cas sniffled and snuggled closer.

“It’s not a requirement. Some Doms like the mind fuck that it gives by not telling their sub what they’ll be receiving. Some subs love the tension it brings and the release they get. Cas has had that from too many people. It’s obviously the last thing he needs from you. You’re safe. An unknown punishment isn’t.” Luke sighed. “As for him saying he was ready to be punished... I bet it sounded rehearsed. Like I did something wrong so now I know I have to take the consequences.”

“Uummm, yeah, kinda.”

“That’s because it’s what he’s  _ supposed  _ to say as a sub that’s done something wrong.”

“Shit. Oh, Angel. I didn't know. I'm so sorry.”

Luke sighed. “It’s not your fault, Dean. It’s ours. He knows there’s things you don’t know and I should have at least gone over the basics of punishment, just to be safe.”

Dean wiped away the tear that slid down his cheek. “I have trouble wrapping my head around that. You and Cas, even Gabe, always tell me it's not my fault. John blames me for everything, even shit that didn't have anything to do with me. Mike just thinks I should know everything about the lifestyle.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “First of all, Mike is an ass. He doesn’t understand that we didn’t exactly grow up normal. And John, well, sometimes it’s just easier to blame everyone else instead of taking responsibility for your own actions. Anything you do “wrong” while learning isn’t your fault. You have two people here that should be helping you to learn. Even with us around, there will be a few hiccups. But, you won’t learn without knowing what was done wrong, so I’ll tell you. From what you’ve told me it seems like you only did two things. You should have told him what his punishment would be before giving it to him and you should have made sure he knew it was over before doing something to make him feel good. You didn’t do anything too harsh for him to handle. You didn’t cause him harm. You just allowed him to get in his head and expect the same kind of punishments he’s gotten in the past for the same thing.”

Dean nodded and squeezed Cas. “Ok.” He looked at his fiancé and sighed. “Angel? How are you doing?”

“My arm hurts.”

Dean pulled the injured arm so he could take a look. “It doesn't look too bad, Sunshine. I think just some antibiotic cream and a bandage.” Dean looked to Luke. “Can you get us a wet rag and a dry towel? Thanks.” Luke nodded and went into the bathroom, then returned with the items and handed them to Dean.

“Thanks, Luke.” Dean carefully cleaned the bite and dried it. He opened the first aid kit, got the cream and a large bandage out and applied them to the wound. Dean raised Cas' arm to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss over the bandage. “Think that will hold through the night, or do you want some tape wrapped over it, Angel?”

Cas looked at the bandage. “Tape.”

Dean nodded and grabbed the tape. He wrapped it around Cas' arm. “There you go, Angel.” Cas snuggled into Dean’s chest with his head under his chin. “You're exhausted, aren't you, little bee?” Cas nodded.

“Ok, let's head into our room and we'll get some sleep.” Cas got up and stumbled.

Luke watched him carefully. “Did he get his sugars back up after your scene?”

“Uh, no. I hit subspace and didn't come out of it until we were in the tub. He was too busy taking care of me to care for himself. Then after the punishment, you were in here right away. God, I need a checklist painted on the wall or something.” Dean grabbed chocolate and juice from the mini-fridge and quickly followed after Cas.

“Again, not your fault.”

Cas stumbled down the hallway to their bedroom and face planted onto the bed. Dean set down the juice and chocolate and rushed to Cas' side. He rolled Cas over and moved him up on the bed so his head was on a pillow. He grabbed the snack and climbed into the bed with Cas. “Ok, Angel, juice, chocolate. Let's get you back on an even keel.”

Cas nodded and opened his mouth. Dean broke off a piece of chocolate and lay it on his tongue. Cas slowly chewed the chocolate and swallowed. Dean held the juice up, placing the straw at Cas' lips. “Drink.” Cas took a couple good sips. “Good, Angel. Gotta finish this up, ok?” Cas nodded and finished the juice.

Dean held the last piece of chocolate up to Cas' lips. “Last bite, Angel.” Cas took the chocolate into his mouth and sucked on Dean’s fingers. Dean moaned as Cas flicked his tongue on his fingertips. “Devil-child. I see you're feeling better.” Dean laughed.

Cas chewed and swallowed the chocolate. “Some.”

Dean pulled the covers up and tucked them both in. “I'm sorry about all this. I know you and Luke don't blame me, but I still should have noticed when you were upset.”

Cas shook his head. “I never should have said I was ready for punishment when we haven’t discussed it.”

“We both made mistakes, but as long as we learn from them, we'll be fine, Angel. We need to have a sit-down with Luke before we do more. I know I need some instruction.”

Cas snuggled against Dean and ran his hand over his chest. “If I’d known that was your idea of punishment I would have been a bad boy a while ago.”

Dean smiled. “I do try to let the punishment fit the crime.” He kissed Cas on the forehead. “Actually, I'm not sure how to handle punishment as a Dom. I shouldn't have tried, without learning, or at least having you guide me.”

Cas sighed. “Everyone is different. Some punishments leave you sore for a day...some make it so you can’t sit for a week.”

“Thank goodness for that magical cream you have, huh?”

Cas chewed on his lip. “That was after the cream.”

Dean cringed. “I'll never punish you that bad, Angel. A little pain is sexy. That's just too much.”

Cas tucked his head under Dean’s chin. “Mike didn’t think so.”

“Mike's getting punched, right along with Balth.”

Cas kissed Dean’s chest. “You already knew about that happening.”

“Not to that extreme.”

Cas ran his nail over Dean’s nipple. “You never noticed the marks?”

“I guess not. I mean, I know there were times that you only wanted to blow me or you topped. I think you've gotten a little too good at hiding your hurt.”

Cas furrowed his brow. “That wasn’t because of him flogging me.”

“Oh, you mean the scars? They're pretty faint. I didn't know Mike did that. What did he use on you?”

“...The knotted flogger.”

“I'm getting that fucking thing and we're gonna destroy it. I don't care how much Mike the douche likes it.”

Cas sighed and placed his hand on Dean’s chest. “You have no desire to go in that room. Anyhow, what good would it do? I belong to you now. He can’t touch me without your permission.”

“I'd go in there for you, my Angel. Yes, you are mine and I'm yours. And he better remember that.”

“He’s a Dom. He’ll respect our collars. Legally Gabe is responsible for me, but like I said earlier, these are as good as being married. So, as far as my family is concerned, you’re responsible for me.”

Dean sighed happily. “You know I'll take care of you, Angel. Let's get some sleep.”

Cas kissed Dean’s chest. “I love you.”

Dean tilted Cas' head, so they could look into each other's eyes. “I love you too, Angel. Always and forever.” He pressed his lips to Cas'. Cas smiled against Dean’s lips and returned the kiss.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [See no evil, speak no evil.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21352186) by [TravelingMystery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TravelingMystery/pseuds/TravelingMystery)




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